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Little upset about first dress fitting

jjc

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 24, 2008
Messages
559
Hi ladies, I'm kind of freaking out about my first dress fitting and I'm not sure if my experience was normal or if something is a little off. I'll put my concerns in bullet points so as not to write a monster block full of griping!

- The seamstress pinned both sides of the dress, but a little too low at first, so after she'd unpinned one side and lifted it up, she only re-pinned that one side and just said that she would match the other side. Maybe I'm wrong, but isn't the point of having the dress altered to fit your body exactly, and so she should have unpinned and re-pinned the other side in the correct position, instead of just making both sides exactly the same and not necessarily how my curves are? (my hips are a little lopsided, as I'm sure most people's are - I don't think we're made to just fold in half and replicate?)
- In general, when I asked a question or voiced any kind of concern, the seamstress got a little huffy and really just wouldn't budge. I'm sorry - but this is my wedding dress, probably the most expensive dress I will ever own, and seriously can't a girl just ask a question?? I wasn't rude or pushy at all, truly. She seemingly got offended by the most benign of questions.
- The consultant didn't seem interested in really helping me at all - for example, when I asked what would happen if my dress got a little dirty or had stains before it was all packed up before my wedding day, she just said "It won't." :confused: um, okay..?
- Here's the weirdest thing - she basically said that this was my only fitting, not to lose any more weight, and that the second fitting was pretty much it before the wedding. I am about 8 weeks out from the wedding and my next fitting isn't for another 5 weeks. She also implied that if anything had to be changed, I would be charged, again. And I am paying an obscene amount for alterations in order to have them done in-house with their 'expertise.' I've read threads here where people go through many, many fittings to get everything right, and she again made it seem like everything would be done at once and that would be it. She said "Well you know, if we have to re-do everything - it takes a good while to alter the dress - then..."
- I wasn't given any kind of option in terms of bustle - it was basically, this is how it has to be. Which I understand may be true of some dresses, but again, I was basically just told and never asked. Shoot, I felt like I was going to get yelled at if I dared have an opinion.
- The boob part of the dress has boning that at this point looks rather Madonna pointy bra-esque. When I asked if they could be softened some to look more natural, the consultant said "That's the dress." But the sample I tried on definitely didn't look like that.

Is any of this normal? I'm going to call in the morning and ask to try on the dress again and hopefully work with a different consultant and seamstress. It was just so odd that I was basically told how my dress would be, and that I'd like what they told me, or else I would be charged more :confused: Sorry this was so long, I've just semi-recovered from major venue drama and now this is kind of making me feel like giving up. O how I despise this wedding... Please help! :(sad
 

yssie

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Aug 14, 2009
Messages
25,534
Oh, I'd be unhappy too! My dress is a *very* complicated, fancy affair - and needed a ton of alterations b/c I'm very differently shaped from my FMIL (her dress). Our Seamster(?) was very helpful, super-nice even when I asked what I'm sure were loads of silly questions... you're paying a boatload for the dress, and for the dress to be altered to make it look perfect on you - I definitely wouldn't be taking "that's just the dress" without a second (and possibly third) opinion.

Sorry you're going through this :sick:
 

Lozza

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Aug 10, 2009
Messages
123
I had a similar experience at my recent dress fitting, in regards to being told not to lose any weight.

I'm 3.5 months out, and hadn't really started the full wedding weight loss plan. I was really upset when she told me that, because I wouldn't be happy if I got married at this size. But I've since decided that it's my wedding, and my dress that I'm paying a lot of money for, and if I want to lose weight then I will and she can just work around me.

Maybe you need to go back and be a bit more assertive. Did you take someone with you? Do you have someone you could take who will help back you up?
 

LtlFirecracker

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 29, 2008
Messages
4,837
I am sorry your experience went like that, I would say based on my experience that is not how it should be. I have been to 3 fittings already and they have literally been doing one piece at a time, and they are very open to my feedback.

I agree with the others. Can you bring an assertive friend? This is your dress, you are the costumer, and although the fittings may not be the best part of the wedding planning process, you should at least feel like you were listened to and getting what you want out of it.
 

MissMina

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 17, 2009
Messages
734
No ones sides are a mirror image and they should answer your questions
completely and with good grace.
These people sound very intimidating and very wrong.
Keep talking till you get what you need.
Be polite but very firm.
It sounds like two against one.
You may need to call in reinforcements.
 

tyty333

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Dec 17, 2008
Messages
25,387
Just wondering if you have a link to a picture of your dress?
 

jjc

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 24, 2008
Messages
559
Thank you so much ladies, I am just sick with worry. I've been up basically all night and I'm going to call the salon as soon as they open today and see if I can just take my dress and have it altered elsewhere. I'm assuming that they haven't started any work on it so I hope it's not a problem to just return my money and go our separate ways. I'll even pay for the seamstress's hour of time pinning the dress just so that I don't have to deal with them. I went with my mom, and I think she and I both just really wanted everything to be a positive experience so badly that we ended up letting ourselves be bullied big time.

I was thinking that I'd call and first make sure that my dress and veil are still there in the salon, that the seamstress didn't take it with her, and then just go in person to discuss the situation. What do you think? Wish me luck ladies, I hope I can muster up enough strength for a potential fight :blackeye:

ETA - Yes, here's me in the sample dress

photo(9).jpg
 

violet3

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Dec 18, 2007
Messages
3,793
Yes, take your dress and get out of there asap! you are paying lots of money for both the dress and the alterations -- your dress should fit the way you want it to, and you should be treated with kindness during this process. let us know how it goes!
 

jjc

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 24, 2008
Messages
559
I called the salon and they have agreed to just cancel the transaction since work on the dress has not yet begun - but of course not until I'd heard the ever so charming 'if you take your dress somewhere else they will ruin it' speech, followed by the wonderfully pleasant 'well I've NEVER heard such complaints about Consultant X before!' monologue. No matter, they will be unpinning my dress today and I get to pick it up tomorrow morning. I feel faint.
 

tyty333

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Dec 17, 2008
Messages
25,387
Your dress is gorgeous! I'm so glad you were able to get your dress back.
 

Clairitek

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 21, 2008
Messages
4,881
Glad to see that you are able to get your dress out of there. I found a great seamstress by asking on my local Knot board for recommendations. Or someone might have one on here if you're willing to tell us what city or area you live in. Your dress is stunning but does look complicated but you do have time to do homework and find a great seamstress who will LISTEN and RESPECT you. My friend went through something similar with her bridal salon but she was getting free alterations so she put up with their attitude. She is really stubborn so I know she just stuck it out until she got what she wanted. I'm sorry that they were so rude to you!
 

jjc

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 24, 2008
Messages
559
Thank you tyty & Claritek - I did find someone on the Los Angeles Knot message board who is pretty much unanimously recommended, that should be safe right?
 

LtlFirecracker

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 29, 2008
Messages
4,837
I just found your old thread. Beautiful dress. I think you totally made the right decision. My dress shop sells the same brand and they do not treat their costumers that way at all. For such a nice dress, you deserve top notch alterations.

I can't believe they really tried to tell you that you are going to ruin your dress. That is such BS. There are lots of people who can alter a dress like that, especially in the area you live in. I will be interested to see how things work out for you, but I am happy you stood your ground.
 

mary poppins

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 10, 2010
Messages
2,606
My dress fittings have been nothing like what you experienced. My seamstress, who is not affiliated with the salon where I got my dress, has been nice, patient and seeks my input regarding how I would my dress to fit and look. She's also doing it for less than the salon was going to charge me. I'm glad you're getting your dress back and hope you have better luck with the independent seamstress you found.
 

septsparkle

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jul 5, 2010
Messages
748
Awww, I'm so sorry this experience was so bad for you. I was actually really nervous about my dress fitting because I am rather busty and had to buy my dress 2 sizes bigger to fit the girls. I knew there was going to be a lot of work involved. I've been to two fittings already and going back for my 3rd and final on the 8th of September. The seamstress I am working with is independent and has been in the industry for 30 years. She was so welcoming and kind and talked to me the entire time she was measuring and pinning. She'd stop and look at it, have me look in the mirror and then even suggest that we take it in more over here, or let it out over there...and would wait for my input before going any further. I lost weight in the 5 weeks since my first fitting and she has to take in the bodice some more. She said..."Oh, did you lose weight?" I replied..."A little bit I think..*pause*....sorry!". She told me not to be sorry that she'd take it in some more and it was no big deal. She is just the kindest woman and I can tell she takes pride in what she does. It's been the best part of the dress experience for me thus far. I think you made the right choice canceling the alterations at the salon and deciding to go elsewhere. I hope your next experience is perfect!
 

FrekeChild

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 14, 2007
Messages
19,456
Ugh. I'm glad you got your dress out of there! Those people sound like a PITA. I'd think that if the Knotties suggest someone unanimously, you're pretty dang safe!
 

aliciagirl

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Nov 9, 2007
Messages
416
I just wanted to chime in that you definitely did the right thing! There are talented seamstresses everywhere! I know brides all over the board will probably gasp in horror at this, but I got my dress altered at a local chain called "Alterations Express" that promises your pants will be hemmed "while you wait!" after reviews from friends and co-workers that their work was actually really great. My dress is perfect and the price was amazing! I think high-price salons (or any bridal salons, really) try the fear tactic to get brides to pay more for alterations doing exactly what they did to you, "Everyone else will mess it up so pay us 3x the price!! :$$): "

Your opinions should be taken into consideration and I would definitely ask for more than one fitting! Good luck!
 

jjc

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 24, 2008
Messages
559
Thanks ladies for your support. I'm heading over there in a little while, I can't breathe easy until I have the dress in my hands and they've run through the refund. Wish me luck!
 

Steel

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 8, 2006
Messages
4,884
jjc said:
Thanks ladies for your support. I'm heading over there in a little while, I can't breathe easy until I have the dress in my hands and they've run through the refund. Wish me luck!

Good luck!

I've learned to speak up again and again until I'm happy. Some people try to get away with the min work possible; it is not personal so don't let them make you feel that it is personal.

I hope your new seamstress is Ace!
 

Amber St. Clare

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Dec 15, 2009
Messages
1,629
Good luck--and your dress is positively dreamy!!!!!!
 

jjc

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 24, 2008
Messages
559
The dress is in the building! What a relief! Thanks everyone for the support and well wishes, you helped me dodge a bullet there.

Amber - thanks so much!
 

FrekeChild

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 14, 2007
Messages
19,456
aliciagirl said:
I just wanted to chime in that you definitely did the right thing! There are talented seamstresses everywhere! I know brides all over the board will probably gasp in horror at this, but I got my dress altered at a local chain called "Alterations Express" that promises your pants will be hemmed "while you wait!" after reviews from friends and co-workers that their work was actually really great. My dress is perfect and the price was amazing! I think high-price salons (or any bridal salons, really) try the fear tactic to get brides to pay more for alterations doing exactly what they did to you, "Everyone else will mess it up so pay us 3x the price!! :$$): "

Your opinions should be taken into consideration and I would definitely ask for more than one fitting! Good luck!
Lol! I went to a tiny hole in the wall alterations shop that always has old ladies all over...it's NOT the place you'd think to take a fancy dress. It cost me $10. Then again, I just needed it to be hemmed.

But still!
 
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