How far is too far, how long is too long?

[LollyBear]

If I have my ceremony and reception at separate locations, what is the farthest/longest I can expect my guests to drive? I have already booked a lovely little country club with a spanish flair that fits perfectly with my culture and color scheme. Unfortunately, my idea to have the ceremony in the garden didn''t go over well with my mother and grandmother (I should have known). They''d really like me to be married in the church. If I had a church ceremony, it''d have to be at my local church which would require a 31 mile (avg. 45min) drive to the reception site! I know there is generally a gap in between when you have different locations, but is this too far/long to ask people to drive? All the weddings I''ve ever been to have either been dual sites or only required a 15min drive max. I''m afraid if I ask my guests to do this they''d decline the invitation!

what to do, what to do?

 

[MelissaSue]

That might be a tad on the far side.. but.. if that is what you have to do, its not excessive... but it really MAY deter some guests from attending the ceremony (Rude, I know.. but people do it all the time). My reception will probably be about a 20-30 min drive from my church.. but there will also be a 3 hour gap between ceremony and reception.

 

[Mara]

there was another post like this in the past but i can't recall when to find it for you, but my own max drive is about 45 min. however, i tend to think that a max for most people would be 30 min.

however, i have to think that the most important people would not mind driving 30 or 45 or an hour if it was your wedding. the rest who would actually not want to come because it was a bit out of the way -- well maybe the party will be more fun without them!

Edited to add that our wedding was in Hawaii, so people had a 5 hour flight from CA and then we also had East Coast guests from my hubby's side who flew up to 10 hours to be with us. Can't beat that!

45 min is nothing and gas is cheaper than airfare!

 

[SJS1234]

I think it kind of depends on the traffic situation and the kind of drive it is. If it really takes 45 minutes -- that MIGHT be ok...... but I live in Atlanta and 31 miles could easily turn into an hour or more -- and I''m not talking about rush hour times either. I''m divorced now, but for my first wedding the ceremony and reception site were about 30-45 minutes apart. The guests stayed at a hotel that was between the two, so at least they didn''t have far to drive FROM the reception. No one seemed to mind (or they didn''t say so), and I think most people came to both events. BUT I also was married in a rural area, so the drive wasn''t "stressful" -- I mean we''re talking 2 lane highways with very little traffic.

Will your parents comprise and agree to let you have your ceremony in a church that''s closer to the reception site? At least it''s still a church!!

 

[LollyBear]

Thank you all for your kind responses. I''m going to decide tomorrow what I''ll be doing after my final conversation with Grandma. Hopefully, she''ll see that it''s too much stress on everyone (especially me) to make the drive in between. I''m going to offer to have a church ceremony for immediate family only sometime after as a compromise. Keeping my fingers crossed that she''ll agree...