gwendolyn
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2007
- Messages
- 6,770
Hi, all!! I am married!!!
Now that things have calmed down slightly, I have a bit of time to let you know how our day went and share a couple of photos. First and foremost, we had a wonderful day because of how happy we were to be married, and ended up having a fun time even though there were some things happening that could have brought us down. Plus my parents were here, which was absolutely fabulous and meant the world to me!! We are thrilled to be husband & wife, and had a great time celebrating with our friends and my parents (and one of my brothers via Skype at the end of the night).
The day started out pretty chill--we had breakfast, got ready (I did my own hair, make-up and nails, although the nails didn''t dry fast enough so in the end I took the polish off and just went au natural), and then headed out to the registry office by the sea. The weather was PERFECT. I had gotten a gorgeous thin wool shawl because if anything I figured it would be cold, but it was actually quite hot (for England), so no shawl needed! The ceremony itself was really fun and enjoyable--the women doing it were sweet and fun and let us laugh and have a good time, which was fabulous! I had felt nervous all morning while getting ready (hands were shaking and everything!) but once my dad took my arm to walk me down the aisle, everything was fine and I was happy and relaxed.
After the ceremony, we took some photos (amateur--we didn''t have a professional photographer) and then went to the reception venue. For the first hour or so, J and I were anti-social, in our room with my mom and his best friend. I needed to go to the loo and so my mom had unlaced me so I could get out of the dress and go pee, and then J wanted to have a quiet cup of tea alone, and then his best friend came around, so I just threw on my pjs and we had a little tea party! Then the dress went back on and we went downstairs, took a couple of photos outside, and then were called in to dinner. We kept saying we didn''t want formality, but had some of it shoved down our throats, like when we were announced into the dining room (although only announced as ''your bride & groom'' so not sure the point of that). Anyway, dinner was stuffy and uncomfortable, but when it was over, we hung out with the guests and chatted for a bit. We went to cut the cake without any fuss, but again, a bit fuss was made and now there are about seven thousand photos of us with a knife poised over our beautiful cake. Whatever!
After cake, we were asked if some of the party could move to the bar area so they could start clearing up, so some of us moved there (all eventually) and I put on some music and my friends, J''s friends and we all danced and laughed and had a great time! At around 1am I caught one of my brothers on Skype and talked to him for about an hour, so it was almost like he was there with us! We went to bed around 2:30am, and were up by 9 to make it to breakfast and check out of the hotel. Busy, busy!
Now, J''s mom fully lost it, so my memories of this day are rather tainted. I don''t want to dwell on it, but it is part of what happened, so I want to share it. She was very quiet on the day of the wedding (unlike her), although she had been barking orders at me the day before, including telling the waitress at the restaurant what food I wanted to eat and the fact that I shouldn''t be sad my brothers weren''t going to be at the wedding. She had previously refused to share any information about the reception and had insisted on sending out invites to everyone herself, told me she had done so, but had not sent any to any of my guests. She had, however, sent out invites to James'' friends, including one friend who had moved back into the country in the past months who''s address she only could have gotten from my invite list, so she deliberately skipped my guests to get to J''s. She changed the wedding colours--they were supposed to be light blue & chocolate brown with silver accents (like our cake), but she got things in yellow and white--things including bridesmaids dresses and page boy outfits, which we had said we didn''t want, and got flowers to match. My friend who made the wedding cake felt awful because she didn''t get why the cake matched nothing--the cake was the only thing in our colours! During the dancing in the evening, she just walked about moping like she was at a funeral (that''s how J''s evil sister acted too).
My guests at the wedding said they thought we had a wonderful time, considering how much else was going on behind the scenes, and that they had thought it was so odd that when we were dancing and having fun, the rest of them were just standing around looking miserable, like they were boycotting fun. Perhaps they were? We tried to include them all (and I even chose music that was 90% 60''s music to appeal to them--shouldn''t have bothered!), but they were not in a celebratory mood. But that didn''t bring us down, as you will see from the pictures!
We had arranged to send a gift hamper of gourmet food to J''s parents the day before the wedding to say thank you to them for all they had done to make our wedding a special day. J is very shy and I was pretty sure he wasn''t going to feel comfortable getting up to do a speech, but we wanted to thank them. Even though they had done a bunch of stuff for themselves, it was with good intentions and they did spend a lot of time, effort and money for our day, so we wanted to say thanks. Well, there was a hiccup with the delivery and it wasn''t delivered when it should have been (although J''s mom knew it was coming because I''d called her). Anyway, after a few days and no delivery, I chased it up with the company and arranged for a re-delivery on Wednesday.
On Wednesday, the gift hamper company called me to say that J''s mom had refused the delivery. We were confused, so we said we''d talk to her to find out if there was a misunderstanding. So J called his mother, who said that she didn''t want the gift basket. She said, "it''s like you''re rubbing my face in the fact that I had such a miserable time at your wedding because it was all about you and not about me." (Yes, seriously, those were her words.) J said, "Mother, it was OUR WEDDING." She then proceeded to rant a bit about how nothing was about her and she had such a terrible time and didn''t want any reminders (like our gift) about that day, so she told the delivery man to take the gift back. J was furious, and told her she was being ridiculous, but she kept on, saying the wedding hadn''t been "at all" what she wanted and that she had told her guests (the majority) that we didn''t need presents and hadn''t wanted to invite them in the first place, which might explain why so many of J''s family looked like they were in mourning and didn''t get us even a card or say ''congrats'' or ''welcome to the family.'' Previously, J had been trying to defend the other things by saying she didn''t mean to cause offense by not inviting my guests, by choosing the menu, by changing the wedding colours, or adding bridesmaids or page boys, but at this point he just gave up on her because there was no excuse for her to throw a gift back in our faces and be mad that our wedding wasn''t all about HER, even after she had taken over so much already! So he ended the conversation by saying something like, "well goodbye then, Mother, maybe I''ll talk to you sometime in my life, bye" and she (in a strangely very happy, cheery voice, answered, "Byeee!"). And that was that. He was shaking, he was so mad when he hung up with her. And he apologized to me, saying that he was sorry that for so long it was just me who was dealing with her craziness, because he really didn''t think she could be capable of being like that.
He still isn''t sure she means to be as offensive as she has been, but now her crazy is out there, plain as day for all to see, and in that way it''s actually easier on me. I have been able to stop blaming myself for failing to get her approval, because it''s impossible and not my fault that she has completely unrealistic expectations. It still hurts J a ton, obviously, but it has been good for us as a couple, as strange as that may sound. We are as much in love as ever, and endlessly committed to one another.
So, pics! Let me post a few pics!
Now that things have calmed down slightly, I have a bit of time to let you know how our day went and share a couple of photos. First and foremost, we had a wonderful day because of how happy we were to be married, and ended up having a fun time even though there were some things happening that could have brought us down. Plus my parents were here, which was absolutely fabulous and meant the world to me!! We are thrilled to be husband & wife, and had a great time celebrating with our friends and my parents (and one of my brothers via Skype at the end of the night).
The day started out pretty chill--we had breakfast, got ready (I did my own hair, make-up and nails, although the nails didn''t dry fast enough so in the end I took the polish off and just went au natural), and then headed out to the registry office by the sea. The weather was PERFECT. I had gotten a gorgeous thin wool shawl because if anything I figured it would be cold, but it was actually quite hot (for England), so no shawl needed! The ceremony itself was really fun and enjoyable--the women doing it were sweet and fun and let us laugh and have a good time, which was fabulous! I had felt nervous all morning while getting ready (hands were shaking and everything!) but once my dad took my arm to walk me down the aisle, everything was fine and I was happy and relaxed.
After the ceremony, we took some photos (amateur--we didn''t have a professional photographer) and then went to the reception venue. For the first hour or so, J and I were anti-social, in our room with my mom and his best friend. I needed to go to the loo and so my mom had unlaced me so I could get out of the dress and go pee, and then J wanted to have a quiet cup of tea alone, and then his best friend came around, so I just threw on my pjs and we had a little tea party! Then the dress went back on and we went downstairs, took a couple of photos outside, and then were called in to dinner. We kept saying we didn''t want formality, but had some of it shoved down our throats, like when we were announced into the dining room (although only announced as ''your bride & groom'' so not sure the point of that). Anyway, dinner was stuffy and uncomfortable, but when it was over, we hung out with the guests and chatted for a bit. We went to cut the cake without any fuss, but again, a bit fuss was made and now there are about seven thousand photos of us with a knife poised over our beautiful cake. Whatever!
After cake, we were asked if some of the party could move to the bar area so they could start clearing up, so some of us moved there (all eventually) and I put on some music and my friends, J''s friends and we all danced and laughed and had a great time! At around 1am I caught one of my brothers on Skype and talked to him for about an hour, so it was almost like he was there with us! We went to bed around 2:30am, and were up by 9 to make it to breakfast and check out of the hotel. Busy, busy!
Now, J''s mom fully lost it, so my memories of this day are rather tainted. I don''t want to dwell on it, but it is part of what happened, so I want to share it. She was very quiet on the day of the wedding (unlike her), although she had been barking orders at me the day before, including telling the waitress at the restaurant what food I wanted to eat and the fact that I shouldn''t be sad my brothers weren''t going to be at the wedding. She had previously refused to share any information about the reception and had insisted on sending out invites to everyone herself, told me she had done so, but had not sent any to any of my guests. She had, however, sent out invites to James'' friends, including one friend who had moved back into the country in the past months who''s address she only could have gotten from my invite list, so she deliberately skipped my guests to get to J''s. She changed the wedding colours--they were supposed to be light blue & chocolate brown with silver accents (like our cake), but she got things in yellow and white--things including bridesmaids dresses and page boy outfits, which we had said we didn''t want, and got flowers to match. My friend who made the wedding cake felt awful because she didn''t get why the cake matched nothing--the cake was the only thing in our colours! During the dancing in the evening, she just walked about moping like she was at a funeral (that''s how J''s evil sister acted too).
My guests at the wedding said they thought we had a wonderful time, considering how much else was going on behind the scenes, and that they had thought it was so odd that when we were dancing and having fun, the rest of them were just standing around looking miserable, like they were boycotting fun. Perhaps they were? We tried to include them all (and I even chose music that was 90% 60''s music to appeal to them--shouldn''t have bothered!), but they were not in a celebratory mood. But that didn''t bring us down, as you will see from the pictures!
We had arranged to send a gift hamper of gourmet food to J''s parents the day before the wedding to say thank you to them for all they had done to make our wedding a special day. J is very shy and I was pretty sure he wasn''t going to feel comfortable getting up to do a speech, but we wanted to thank them. Even though they had done a bunch of stuff for themselves, it was with good intentions and they did spend a lot of time, effort and money for our day, so we wanted to say thanks. Well, there was a hiccup with the delivery and it wasn''t delivered when it should have been (although J''s mom knew it was coming because I''d called her). Anyway, after a few days and no delivery, I chased it up with the company and arranged for a re-delivery on Wednesday.
On Wednesday, the gift hamper company called me to say that J''s mom had refused the delivery. We were confused, so we said we''d talk to her to find out if there was a misunderstanding. So J called his mother, who said that she didn''t want the gift basket. She said, "it''s like you''re rubbing my face in the fact that I had such a miserable time at your wedding because it was all about you and not about me." (Yes, seriously, those were her words.) J said, "Mother, it was OUR WEDDING." She then proceeded to rant a bit about how nothing was about her and she had such a terrible time and didn''t want any reminders (like our gift) about that day, so she told the delivery man to take the gift back. J was furious, and told her she was being ridiculous, but she kept on, saying the wedding hadn''t been "at all" what she wanted and that she had told her guests (the majority) that we didn''t need presents and hadn''t wanted to invite them in the first place, which might explain why so many of J''s family looked like they were in mourning and didn''t get us even a card or say ''congrats'' or ''welcome to the family.'' Previously, J had been trying to defend the other things by saying she didn''t mean to cause offense by not inviting my guests, by choosing the menu, by changing the wedding colours, or adding bridesmaids or page boys, but at this point he just gave up on her because there was no excuse for her to throw a gift back in our faces and be mad that our wedding wasn''t all about HER, even after she had taken over so much already! So he ended the conversation by saying something like, "well goodbye then, Mother, maybe I''ll talk to you sometime in my life, bye" and she (in a strangely very happy, cheery voice, answered, "Byeee!"). And that was that. He was shaking, he was so mad when he hung up with her. And he apologized to me, saying that he was sorry that for so long it was just me who was dealing with her craziness, because he really didn''t think she could be capable of being like that.
He still isn''t sure she means to be as offensive as she has been, but now her crazy is out there, plain as day for all to see, and in that way it''s actually easier on me. I have been able to stop blaming myself for failing to get her approval, because it''s impossible and not my fault that she has completely unrealistic expectations. It still hurts J a ton, obviously, but it has been good for us as a couple, as strange as that may sound. We are as much in love as ever, and endlessly committed to one another.
So, pics! Let me post a few pics!
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