First Registry Fight

[Sabine]

Okay, we haven''t even started registering yet, and FI and I are already fighting about it. Before we even went to a store or looked online, we sat down with lists we found online of what to register for to go through what we already have, definitely want, and might want to register for. I also wanted to set price ranges and talk about what type of products we''d like. We were going along, agreeing on almost everything, until I asked this seemingly harmless question...so what color kitchen appliances are we going to pick out?

First he wanted stainless steel. I was like, okay, I also like the look of stainless steel, but I''ve heard it is impossible to keep clean. Plus, it will probably be another 5 years before we move somewhere (like a house) that will have upscale appliances. I was talking about refriderator and stove, and he didn''t understand. He thinks it''s perfectly okay to have a cream fridge and stove with everything else black and stainless steel. What?!?

I explained to him that I really wanted everything to match, and right now and for the next few years, since we have a cream fridge, stove, microwave, toaster, coffeemaker, etc. that don''t need to be replaced, I think the food processor, toaster oven, stand mixer, etc that we are registering for should match. He doesn''t like cream. To be honest, I''d much rather have black too, but it just doesn''t seem worth it to me to replace all the working stuff we have just to make it match new stuff.

He asked if we had any other options. I said I wouldn''t mind red appliances since they could match a cream or black fridge, and we could get some red and some black if he really thought we would get a black fridge/stove later in life. He does''nt like red. At that point I was out of options. And I sat there glaring at him, wondering why I bothered to ask in the first place.

Now neither of us knows what to do, and we aren''t going to be able to move forward with registering until we reach a compromise. I''m all about compromising, and so is he, we just can''t come up with a solution that either of us is remotely happy with. ARGHHH!!! This is such a stupid thing to care about!

I''m so not the type of person to care what color my appliances are! But at the same time, these are the things we''re going to use HOPEFULLY for years to come. Grrrrrr!!!!
Okay, I''m done venting.

 

[Independent Gal]

Haha. I feel your pain! We aren''t getting new appliances, but we are getting new silicone bakeware, and I wanted pink and he wanted blue. I don''t know if this will help you, but what we decided to do was register for both and let a guest decide.

 

[rockzilla]

Do all the appliances really need to be out at once? Seems like things like food processer, mixer would take up a lot of counter space on top of what you already have now. Maybe you could pare down what will be "displayed" permanently on the counter, get those in the colors you want, and then the rest doesn''t really matter what color it is...since it will only come out occassionally.

 

[surfgirl]

sabine, I say this respectfully and in the interest of your sanity and domestic harmony...there are WAY more important things to argue about than the color of minor kitchen appliances! Honestly, who cares if your major appliances are white, cream or 1976 harvest gold (though I hope for your sake not the latter!)? If you''re going to get S/S eventually, then why not get S/S cuisinart, blender, etc. now? Those things will stand the test of time anyway. A toaster oven might last a few years at best so it will likely be replaced anyway. But if he wants S/S, let him have S/S! If you dont compromise on the small things, how will you deal with the major life issues that eventually will come your way? Let him have what he wants. Chances are the wedding will be more "you" than "him" anyway so throw the guy a bone, preferably in a S/S container...

 

[poptart]

Sabine, don''t waste valuable time with your FI arguing about kitchen appliances! It''s a waste of your time together... I think from your post that you feel the same way. Why do all your appliances have to instantly match? Many times good pieces are accumulated slowly after an amount of time. You probably would like everything to look perfect and uniform right now, but sometimes things just don''t work that way. I have to say that I am on your side with the vendetta against stainless steel, but I guess it depends who is more passionate about the subject. If he REALLY REALLY wants stainless steel, and you only don''t want it because it''s hard to clean and not necessarily the way it looks, then I would compromise this way: "Honey, if you want stainless steel you can get it, but since I think it is difficult to clean then you will be in charge of making sure that the appliances look nice." That way you don''t have to worry about making the appliances look perfect every time you clean, and he can have the steel that he wants. Just make sure you get the stainless steel cleaner.... in high school my stupid self was helping a friend clean their parent''s kitchen and I didn''t know about the stainless steel cleaner. I spent 30 minutes trying to get the frickin'' streaks off the fridge, lol! Hence my vendetta. But the cleaner works great (as long as you use it first), just so you know!

*M*

 

[larussel03]

Hi Sabine!

I registered for all S/S stuff and it really goes with anything, so it''s fine, I think, to get S/S and then gradually replace other appliances. We have a white microwave, black coffee maker and red toaster that stay out all the time (and we''re only looking to replace the toaster because we want the 4 slice S/S toaster and ours only has 2).

I tend to be matchy-matchy anal retentive, but with kitchenware I did''t worry too much about it. Plus, the mixer, food processor and blender are all stored away b/c they take up tons of room, which is sad b/c they''re so perdy. So I''ve still got the white fridge, red toaster, black coffee maker and white microwave out.

No biggie -- register for what you want your kitchen to look like when it''s completed so you won''t have to replace everything. My dream kitchen is all dark wood and S/S so that''s what I''ve started accumulating.

 

[Sabine]

Thanks for helping me keep my sanity! I was talking to my mom today, and I told her about this "dilemma" and she couldn''t believe I was even wasting the energy complaining about such a nonproblem. I just get so caught up in wanting everything for our "new" life together to be perfect...but really...I shouldn''t care if all our appliances match! And like Rockzilla said, they won''t even all be out at the same time! And since this is ONE of very few things the FI actually has ANY opinion on...I should just let him pick the s/s stuff. Haha, I know this is silly, but I actually feel a lot better now! Thank you for helping me keep perspective! It''s one thing for my mom to tell me I''m being silly, but if other brides out there are telling me (nicely, as always!) that I don''t need to waste time worrying about this, it helps me accept that you are right!

 

[sumbride]

I''m chiming in late but glad to see you''ve come to your senses! We have a mix of black and S/S with a little bit of brushed stainless mixed in. I can''t recommend the brushed stainless enough! A lot easier to keep clean and still shiny! We''re in our house now and it came with black appliances, so that is why we picked black, but I think we probably would have still preferred the black blender over the white one. And we definitely like the look of black and stainless together.

Also, anytime FI showed a preference in any aspect of the wedding, as long as it wasn''t something I couldn''t stand, he got to make the decision. He wanted a particular crystal bowl... I liked another better, but considering FI was actually saying "I want this" about a crystal bowl, we zapped it. Somebody just bought it! I was ecstatic because FI is getting HIS crystal bowl! It''s silly, but sweet at the same time.

Try not to let stuff like this cause arguments. Show each other your preferences. Discuss pros and cons if necessary. Don''t say "You''re WRONG!" and if you really truly hate something, say so, but otherwise compromise, discuss, and compromise. Building a life together is about WAY more than the color of your appliances. Wait till you get to paint!

 

[Independent Gal]

BTW, we have a mix of cream and stainless stuff (Grammy''s stainless toaster from the ''50''s! how cool is that? still works 100%) and it actually looks kind of awesome! S/S goes with everything. And that means it will go with your next kitchen. And the kitchen after that. Which is what you should be after right? For your long happy life together. Think how neat s/s would be with a red kitchen! Or a black and white one! And it really looks good with cream too.

Have a look through some kitchen design mags, or pics online and you''ll see. Mixing it up is a good thing.

It''s true that the fingerprint issue can be annoying, but you can get s/s cleaner and it pretty much takes care of it.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Here is my honest advice. These are appliances you will have FOREVER. My mom still has and uses the same food processor & kitchen aid mixer from her wedding 30+ years ago. In fact my SISTER has my grandmother''s old mixer. My point is these things should last forever. Buy for the long term not what looks good now. Chances are you will not have cream appliances in your next place. Pick what you LOVE. It really doesn''t MATTER if it matches with your apartment stuff. DH didn''t registery with me either time so I guess I lucked out and got to pick everything *I* liked. I will say I registered for the stainless kitchen aid mixer and HATED the finished. It looked cheap, like it was painted on. I ended up getting their matte dark gray even though *gasp* everything else is stainless

but I love it.

 

[diamondfan]

I agree there are more important things to fight about, but still...you want what you want too. And since he is not likely to be the one using them, I think you should get the say here. Would you get to pick his tools out or the lawnmower? If you get my point...unless he is the cook, I tend to think the woman should have the choice of the cooking stuff. Again, not worth really getting into a fight over, but why does he care so much?