Did you surprise yourself?

[Independent Gal]

Over the process of picking a ring, getting engaged, planning the wedding, did you find yourself suddenly wanting something or caring about something that you never thought you''d want or care about?

I''ve always thought I would HATE a public proposal, but since I found out about the hot possibly-proposal date tonight with FF, I keep day-dreaming about him taking me to the sushi place where we had our first date and getting down on one knee there in the restaurant.

Weird! But I really hope it happens that way!

 

[neatfreak]

Many things. I thought I didn''t want a veil, now I''m in hot pursuit of a vintage birdcage one.

I also thought I wanted a very non-traditional dress. And while my dress is very vintage feeling, it''s still very much a wedding dress.

I also thought I didn''t want a shower, then my friend insisted, and now I can''t wait!

 

[Mandarine]

How exciting!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fingers crossed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sending sparkly vibes your way

I definitely surprised myself caring about the dress! haha....I never though I would and had not planned it in my budget. Thankfully, mothers know best, and she decided that the dress would be her contribution to my wedding (as well as my 30th b-day). I told her she was crazy, I didn''t need to spend money on "just" a dress. Then I went dress shopping and everything changed! hahaha...I went bananas, thankfully I was able to find a great deal on it!!!. I will try to sell it afterwards and if I do, will give my mom back the money

I''m also suprised about how much I stare at my e-ring...hehe..it''s been like 6 months and I''m still staring at it all day long. FI says he not only proposed but provided hours of entertainment to my every day life! hehe

Good luck tonight, keep us posted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

M~

 

[surfgirl]

What a good question! The answer is YES.

1. RING
I always thought - for years really - that I''d want an EC or an Asscher, set by Leon. Then I started shopping for real and quickly realized that the size required to look decent on my larger fingers was way out of budget. So then I thought about sapphires, which I love, but my FI doesn''t care for. Then I thought about using my grandmother''s 1.15ct old cut, adding two more old cuts and making it into a 3 stone ring of bling. But finding matching stones wasn''t going to be easy. I always "knew" I didn''t want a RB...then one day I saw this gorgeous round transitional cut glittering coyly at me through a shop window and the rest is history! Me with a round ering stone? Yup!

2. VEIL
I was always opposed to veils, especially as an older bride. Thought they were too young looking. But when you find the right one, BOOM! Let''s be honest, the ONLY people who EVER wear a veil, are brides, right? And I realized I wanted to LOOK like a bride on my wedding day, regardless of how many people were or were not there to see me.

3. DRESS
Never had an imagine in mind but knew I loved full lace gowns. Couldn''t afford what I wanted. Couldn''t justify that kind of money for an elopement. But I''m VERY happy with what I ended up with.

 

[So_happy]

Oh my goodness, that is just SO awesome that you feel you may get proposed to tonight!!! Here''s hoping it is everything you''ve dreamed and more!!!!!


And, I have had 2 dresses, veils, shoes, and engagement rings so, yeah, I kinda know how it feels to change your mind about things

 

[zoebartlett]

I was just thinking about this! I thought I''d be a totally untraditional bride but it turns out that I might not be. I didn''t think I wanted a wedding dress ("Oh, any simple, white dress will do.. or maybe I won''t wear a dress!"). However, when someone mentioned that wedding dresses are for EVERYONE, no matter what shape or size, I began to consider the options. After a few unsuccessful outings, I found a shop I really like and I even found three wedding dresses I''m considering. I can''t remember who pointed that out (someone from PS?) but I owe her a big thank you!

For the reception I really want a party, not a formal thing. I want a party with music playing but not one where anyone feels obligated to dance. I think I''m over ruled on this one though. My mom *needs* to do the electric slide and my aunt and uncle *need* to do the jitterbug. * Sigh. *

 

[zoebartlett]

Oh yeah, my e-ring...I didn''t think I wanted a RB and I never liked pears, but then I saw Kaleigh''s ring (her avatar) and fell in love.

 

[zoebartlett]

Surfgirl, I do know that reading your posts did help me begin to see myself as a bride. Thank you for that!

 

[fabcrab]

Absolutely!!!!!

I always imagined having a straight, beachy dress but I ended up with a semi-poofy dress with pick ups. Like many of you I also opposed wearing a veil but once I put one on I couldn''t even think of not having one.

 

[sumbride]

I have a veil! Didn''t think I would, but I do. AND a train! And expensive hair jewelry!!! surprised the heck out of me.

I''m having a HUGE wedding and I really thought I would elope. My groom and our families had other ideas. I''ve gone along with it, and I''m ok with it now.

I really care about the invitations and the cake! Two areas that the guests may or may not really notice.

 

[zoebartlett]

My FI and I considered eloping and my mom even said that if we chose to do that, my parents would give us a honeymoon as our gift. I was shocked that 1) my parents seemed to be okay with the idea of us eloping and 2) they''d pay for the whole thing.

At first I loved the idea but then I realized that I did want close friends and family there. I also knew that there would be hurt feelings if we eloped and I didn''t want to be responsible for that. As much as I hate being the center of attention and the thought of a full-on WEDDING makes me super nervous, I will be glad in the end that those close to me are there to share our day.

 

[little miss sunshine]

I thought I wanted a very non-traditional wedding until I got engaged. Now I want it to be a "typical" wedding! I haven''t changed my mind yet about the veil issue (I don''t really like ''em) but I am going to try on dresses later this week so I might be changing my mind...

Crossing my fingers for you tonight!!

 

[Jas12]

funny--seems the common thread here is that women didn''t think they would be so ''traditional'' (the long white dress, the veil, the jewllery etc.) but as we plan many of us begin to want a little more of that each day.
I know i have. i used to cringe when I placed a veil on my head. But this weekend i am wearing one.
I thought i wanted to sleek, non-bridaly gown...but my dress certainly looks like a bride''s dress...funny. I didn''t expect it at all!

 

[Independent Gal]

Well, now that I''m ENGAGED! (YAYAYAY!!) seems I was right the first time. I cried and cried and cried after he asked me. So I''m sure glad we weren''t in public after all! But he told the people at the restaurant where we went for dinner that we had just got engaged and they brought us some champagne! Hurray! So it still felt a bit like a ''public'' celebration.

It''s weird, at times like this, to be so very far away from all the people who truly love you! Except for my FI of course!

 

[enbcfsobe]

Congrats, IG!!! (I cried too -- actually, we both cried!!) So happy for you!!

 

[surfgirl]

Date: 6/26/2007 7:09:02 PM
Author: zoebartlett
Surfgirl, I do know that reading your posts did help me begin to see myself as a bride. Thank you for that!

Aww, thanks zoe! You know, as someone who''s just lost a lot of weight (so I could totally relate to your feelings about trying on dresses!), I read your initial posts and felt so bad for you at first because I sensed that you didn''t feel you deserved a bridal gown just because you weren''t the size 6 bridal gown size. And I am SO glad you decided to try on other dresses and that you found your "inner bride"! You only get married once, and I think that''s why so many of us seem to end up wanting a lot of the tradition that goes with getting married, even if we are rather untraditional in many other aspects of our lives. I just think that in the end, one can never go wrong with the traditional classics! I mean, I love all types of music but if we were having a larger wedding, I''d totally have a band that just played the old jazz standards because it''s so old school classic. And when I read the posts on this thread, the classic themes seem to come through. There''s a reason the classics are "classic"!


Oh, and CONGRATULATIONS IG!!! Your intuition was right on!

 

[ephemery1]

I didn''t think I''d care about the band.... I just sort of figured "music is music" and asked my fiance to deal with that.

But then I started researching and suddenly became OBSESSED with finding the perfect combination of instruments/musicians/songs... I spent my entire week of fall break being a crazy person. But we were super happy with our final choice, so I guess it was worth it!

 

[blushingbride]

Let''s see - I first was surprised that my engagement ring has a halo on it. I always envisioned a RB solitaire with a diamond band. My FI saw this ring and insisted that it was the one. I agree since it was still everything that I wanted in an engagement ring + the the halo. Now, I stare at it and can''t imagine having a ring without the halo!

While dress shopping, I swore that I would never buy a dress that had tulle on it. I just had this thing about it. My sister actually found the dress I ended up buying and made me try it on since it was the style I wanted. It ended up looking stunning on me and I bought it on the spot! I couldn''t believe I bought a tulle dress!

The other major thing that surprised me was the fact that I became obsessed with my bridesmaids and what kind of bouquets they were going to carry and what I am going to get them as a gift. I finally picked their bouquets, but I''m still stumped on what to get them as a gift! I have been agonizing over these details for months!

 

[So_happy]

Date: 6/27/2007 12:39:55 PM
Author: Independent Gal
Well, now that I''m ENGAGED! (YAYAYAY!!) seems I was right the first time. I cried and cried and cried after he asked me. So I''m sure glad we weren''t in public after all! But he told the people at the restaurant where we went for dinner that we had just got engaged and they brought us some champagne! Hurray! So it still felt a bit like a ''public'' celebration.

It''s weird, at times like this, to be so very far away from all the people who truly love you! Except for my FI of course!

I am so sorry to completely hijack this thread, OP, but CONGRATS IG!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my goodness, I''m so excited for you!!!!

We both cried, too. It was a beautiful thing.

 

[So_happy]

Oh wait, IG, you ARE the OP!!! lol. I guess you wouldn''t mind a little hijacking then!!!!


So, again..........SOOOOOOOOOOOO excited for you!!!!!!!!!

 

[akw94]

Congratulations on your engagement!!! So exciting!

Many things have changed for me too. I figured I would cry when he proposed but I didn''t. I was so shocked and pretty unsure if he was even serious so no tears came.
I thought I would want a long train on my dress, lots of beading but I like the simplest dress I found and really, really didn''t like the ones w/lots of stuff to them.
I was positive I didn''t want a shower but completely changed my mind, still not sure why or how that happened!
I was going to DIY my flowers and recently decided, NO WAY, TOO MUCH WORK! So now just DIYing the centerpieces.
I thought I wanted a standard, round 3-4 tier cake but now I''m leaning toward the square shape and having the tiers angled differently.
All in all, I realized a lot of the little things just aren''t that important to me and I always thought I would care about every little detail. I''m very surprised by it!

Congrats again!!!!!

 

[repartee]

I had exactly the opposite reaction as Dixie...I though I''d be rather laid-back about the whole affair...umm, I was wrong. I definitely had some "moments" where I was like "who''s-screaming-crying-body-am-I-in?????".

Now, everything is over - whew! - and my husband(!) is happy to have his girl back.

 

[litebrite]

Hmm, so far I have surprised myself in the following ways:

1) deciding to get married at all. I''ve been a staunch "the institution of marriage is evil and hegemonic" gal since. . . about age 10.

2) Lusting after diamonds. Somewhere in looking for ring designs a little light in my head went pop after looking at all the pretty stones. Now I have a beautiful ring that I designed.

3) Getting a traditional wedding dress with pickups. I always thought I wanted a long, flowing satin slinky number like Caroline Kennedy had. Turns out that look is not so hot on a 5''2 size 12. Now I am avidly hunting dresses with pickups. I might even get a *gasp* pink dress even though I hate the color, just because it looks good on my skin.

4) Event hall wedding. Never in my wildest lack-of-wedding dreams did I think I would have my wedding at an event hall. But those turn out to the be the cheapest option since it''s all in one place. *sigh* I''m spending this weekend and I spent last weekend traipsing around to fancy schmancy event halls. I don''t have the time or patience (ad part of me is incredibly unwilling to part with $6000 for a site fee and $150-200/head for a caterer on top. I just won''t do it.)

So yeah. Going fairly traditional all the way. Whoo hoo? I still think it''ll be fine in the end because I''ll be with my dear love. And we''ll get a tiny tax break courtesy of our federal government, since married people are more holy, upstanding and productive members of society. . .