Ring violation!

[surfgirl]

So yesterday I was in a bridal dress shop and this saleswoman at one point looked at my hand and exclaimed, "Oh my god! Your ring is amazing!" I said "thank you" and then she said, "Is it REAL?!" I couldn''t believe someone would be that tacky to ask such a thing. THEN, before I know what''s happening, she grabs my hand and takes her gargantuan fake plastic nail, and TAPS on my ring...Like she''s kicking a car tire or something. Now, I''m no shrinking violet and I have no problem telling someone to sod off if need be, but even I was so taken aback that I all I could think was, "oh no she di''int!" I think this must be how pregnant women feel when some random stranger pats their stomach and asks when they''re due. I felt weirdly violated and as soon as she walked away I immediately wiped off my stone on my soft skirt and said to it, "uh, sorry, that won''t happen again!" In the same store, last time I was there I heard another salesperson asking a couple, "well first, let me see the ring!" then she says to the FI, "oh, nice job." Why do people think this is appropriate behavior? Or am I too sensitive? I was thinking about calling the store manager because I was so offended...

 

[Love in Bloom]

hehehe, you have heard of @$$ kissing...maybe these ppl are trying too hard. Your ring is just gorgeous surfgirl, definitely not fake looking to me. Perhaps the questions about it being real stem from the fact that your diamond may be larger than these peeps have seen in person and perhaps also b/c the cut of your diamond (transitional?) may throw them off a bit (ie they are only used to seeing what the maul offers

). I do not think you are being overly sensitive. I think yours is a reasonable response to inappropriate/not-so-tactful behavior!

 

[surfgirl]

Thanks for the reality check Love. It wasn't that she asked if it was fake because I've actually thought that for any of us here, depending on where we are at the time and no matter if we're sporting a .50ct or a 5.0ct, there are times when its probably better to just pretend your ring is fake (for safety reasons or whatever). It was more the cluelessness at how tacky that is to say. But the kicker was the blatant finger tapping. On.my.ring. I just couldn't believe someone would do that. I felt like my ring had been accosted!

ETA: I LOVE your bumper sticker quote. That? Is awesome!

 

[Love in Bloom]

Heheh you should have made a comment about her big fake nails!

"Unlike your nails, my ring is REAL. Please don't touch!"

Thanks about the bumper sticker quote. It is from the very first pages of one of my favorite books by Alice Walker!

 

[Jelly]

As PS'ers who are obsessed with keeping our rings clean...it's ultra-annoying when someone dares to touch our stone. I don't think she meant to accost you, probably just trying to give you a compliment. That is a no-no, and obviously she lacks some common sense!

I don't think it's worth calling the store manager. What if she got fired? Probably not worth losing her job because she tapped your ring.

I looked back at your old post and your ring is amazing and huge! Sooo gorgeous! I'd probably wonder if it was real too! lol

 

[NYCsparkle]

your ring was molested by the bridal store beast!!!!

i''d have tapped on her plastic nails and said...mmmm fake..

 

[Harriet]

I would have pulled out my hand sanitiser and cleaned my hand and ring in front of her!

Btw, how do you respond when a stranger asks about the size of your ring?

 

[grapegravity]

I know how you feel Surfgirl, because i had a similar incident just on wednesday..

I was taking to the elevator up to my floor to work, and it was just me and this other older lady in the elevator... I was looking at the little tv screen for the news update on the flood in my city, suddenly she GRABBED my hand

and said " that it a very nice rock you have there!" And then she even tilt my hand in different angle and touch the rock!

At that moment, I thought "OMG, I hope there''s security camera in this elevator so if she jump me for my ring there''s evidence to prove it." Then, I pulled back my hand as quick as possible and said "Thank you" as I get out of the elevator... That was the first time ever that I feel I was in danger because of my ring...

 

[monarch64]

Totally inappropriate...

There is a tactful way to compliment someone on their ring, then there is what happened to you, surfgirl. I don''t understand why people feel it necessary to make complete as*es of themselves, but they do, and all you can really do is not let it get to you.

 

[snlee]

I love all of the comments about the fake nails! LOL

surfgirl, you''re not being overly sensitive. That is rude what she did. I would have felt uncomfortable and probably try to pull my hand back and say a polite "thanks." I don''t think it''s worth calling the store manager though. BTW, I went back to look at pictures of your ring and it''s gorgeous!

Harriet, here''s an old thread you might be interested in reading. How do you respond to questions about your diamond''s size?

 

[surfgirl]

Heh...I didn''t think about the fake nails comment, that would have been sweet

. Next time!

Come to think of it, the same thing happened at someone''s bachelorette party last week. The bride to be pointed out my ring to her SIL, saying that she loved my ring and wished she had something similar (in a moment of insanity she declined an ering from her FI

), and the SIL grabbed my finger and tilted my ring to look at it. I guess more than anything, it bugs me because it''s a very old stone and the girdle is very thin so I''m afraid some numnuts will grab it and somehow chip the edge. And then I''ll be incarcerated for manslaughter

.

What I have noticed is how clueless most women are about diamonds. They only want to know "how big", but they dont even know the color or clarity of their own stones. It seems so odd to me, but then again, we probably seem a little odd to them! In any case, I think I''ll just say "Yes, it''s fake" next time someone is tacky enough to ask that. And next time someone grabs my hand I''ll remove their hand from my finger more promptly.

 

[decodelighted]

Just think -- you could have been wearing PEARLS!

"Are those REAL???"

Tilts head toward yours & starts rubbing your strand against their TEETH!

 

[upgrading mama]

tapping on it with a finger nail, totally rude and wierd. (What would it proe exactly anyways, lol)
but I don't think it is strange for someone to ask to see a girls ring in a bridal store or when you hear they are newly engaged; kinda goes with the territory.

I guess the best you can do it just apologize to 'your precious' and promise to always keep her safe. lol


oh and a sidenote, re being obsessive PSers:
We took our boys to the beach today and as I was applying their sunscreen, I was so horrifed to see the sunscreen all over my rings!!! I tried to wash them off in the Lake, but alas, I know it is not the same now...and I know that I was letting down all of my Ps family.
I am taking them to the store tonight for a goooood clean...lol

 

[Maisie]

Date: 6/9/2007 4:23:20 PM
Author: decodelighted
Just think -- you could have been wearing PEARLS!

''Are those REAL???''

Tilts head toward yours & starts rubbing your strand against their TEETH!

lol!!! Very funny!!!

I get the opposite at work. Because they know my diamond is an Ideal Cut they make sure they never comment on how beautiful it is. They tease me because I am always looking at it but they never compliment it. Thats because my diamond is way more beautiful than anything we sell!

 

[Love in Bloom]

Date: 6/9/2007 4:23:20 PM
Author: decodelighted
Just think -- you could have been wearing PEARLS!

''Are those REAL???''

Tilts head toward yours & starts rubbing your strand against their TEETH!

I can just see it:

NEWS FLASH! In a bizarre jewelry events today, one woman with unbelievably tacky plastic nails is dead, her assailant is in custody. The suspect was seeking justice for her abraided pearls and chipped diamond girdle. She is expected to be incarcerated for manslaughter at her trial next week. The suspect, surfgirl, is being held at the station and has denied herself her one ten minute phonecall. She did request internet access to post on PS. When officers tried to convince her to seek council, they heard her say, "She didn''t even care about the 4 C''s!!! Please keep my ring clean until I get out of here!"

hehehe

 

[asscherisme]

Ewww, that is just gross behavior! First time, shock. Next time you will be prepared!

Regarding the pregnant belly, YES people do that (I have been pregnant many times!). Even worse, once the baby is born, total strangers will actually reach out and touch your baby. EWWWWW, I learned pretty fast how to lean the stranger touch was coming and block my kids. But I was not always successful. Why strangers think its OK to touch your property (ring), pregnant belly or children is beyond me.

I think some of the bridal store clerks truely enjoy seeing the engagement rings and that great. But don''t violate personal space!

 

[snlee]

LOL deco and Love in Bloom! That is so funny.

Maisie, you work at a Jewelry store?

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Well, it was tacky to ask if it was real, but you need to expect that when you have a ring like that, people are definitely going to notice and ask to see it! It is usually sales clerks that ask to see mine, since I am often handing them items I am purchasing or getting out the credit card, etc. and that''s when they notice. No one has asked me if my diamond is real, but I do get "wow, your diamond is gorgeous!" and that kind of thing. I just smile and say, "well thank you!"

 

[angeline]

surfgirl, my sympathies are with you! Like tapping was going to tell her if it was real or not. What, does it sound hollow??

Some people have no sense of boundaries.

BTW some of these responses are too funny

a

 

[Cehrabehra]

The woman''s comments to YOU were ridiculous. I dunno that I would have gotten fuming mad over it - I probably would have laughed at the stupidity.

The other woman''s comments to the other bride though I think were fine. A lot of new brides to be love to show their ''spoils'' and get a thrill out of being asked to share their ring and the woman didn''t say anything offensive... maybe did a bit of brown nosing but that''s more eyeroll material than oh the nerve! IMO.

I try to be easy going about the comments that people make because what may deeply offend one person might really flatter another.

Years and years ago when I was first married we were seated in a restaurant next to a couple who were about 80 years old and we''d had some small talk and then I asked them how long they''d been married (they both had wedding bands) and the woman scoffed and shook her head and the man frowned and said, "how dare you ask such a thing, that''s private and absolutely none of your business!" I was shocked! My husband thought maybe they were having an affair or maybe they had ailing spouses or were newly widowed or who knows what... but you think you''re asking a friendly charming question and voila - you''ve ruined someone''s day.

I was one of the women who was offended that more people DIDN''T touch my belly. I loved the attention my preg belly got.

Everyone''s different. Just be yourself and if anyone is upset with who you are they can feel free to move on. And if you''re upset with how someone else is, you can move on. Thankfully that woman with the plastic nail isn''t someone in your inner circle. You can walk away.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 6/9/2007 2:38:56 PM
Author: surfgirl
Heh...I didn''t think about the fake nails comment, that would have been sweet

. Next time!

Come to think of it, the same thing happened at someone''s bachelorette party last week. The bride to be pointed out my ring to her SIL, saying that she loved my ring and wished she had something similar (in a moment of insanity she declined an ering from her FI

), and the SIL grabbed my finger and tilted my ring to look at it. I guess more than anything, it bugs me because it''s a very old stone and the girdle is very thin so I''m afraid some numnuts will grab it and somehow chip the edge. And then I''ll be incarcerated for manslaughter

.

What I have noticed is how clueless most women are about diamonds. They only want to know ''how big'', but they dont even know the color or clarity of their own stones. It seems so odd to me, but then again, we probably seem a little odd to them! In any case, I think I''ll just say ''Yes, it''s fake'' next time someone is tacky enough to ask that. And next time someone grabs my hand I''ll remove their hand from my finger more promptly.

I''ve never grabbed someone''s hand, but I''ve wanted to. I never used to think about it. EVER. Before pricescope. Before pricescope I never noticed rings much and if I did the thought was very passing and I just didn''t care at all about diamonds other than vaguely wanting one "someday". Then I found this place. Now after seeing pictures of GOBS of stones up close and rings, when I see a ring that captures my attention I DO want to look at it and not just from the top, I want to turn it to see the profile and sides and it has nothing to do with the authenticity of the stone. It has to do with admiration for the ring. Wanting to see the details. We spend all this time picking out a stone FOR its details and we hope for the admiration of others and yet are offended when someone wants to look closely? I can understand the irritation of the table print and nail tap, and I can understand being taken off guard by someone who *grabs* your hand without asking, but do you think it''s okay for someone to say, "may I?" and hold out their hand? Is this forum the ONLY place it is okay to admire the rings of others? Because I have found that I cannot see very much in passing and even if I stop to ask about a piece the person usually doesn''t stop moving their hands. I just think it''s such a pity there isn''t more open admiration in person though I do also see the risks in that.... pardon me, I''m just rambling now LOL!

 

[Love in Bloom]

I think Surf was concerned more about her thin girdle and that her diamond would somehow get chipped...

Complements are always welcome for me and if someone is really interested/looking for engagement ring options (i.e. asking specifics like ring size, manufacturer, metal, etc.) I will let someone look at my ring closer (on my finger, of course). But I never expect someone to grab and tap on it. That is diamond assault!

 

[Finding_Neverland]

Once in a while, I see an interesting ring that I compliment to the wearer. Sometimes, I even egg for a closer look by asking, "May I?" But I''ve never touched someone''s ring before.

That lady thumping on your stone with her fingernail. Was she thinking a melon test??!!

Thud, Thud. Yep that''s fake. Clink, Clink. Yep that''s real.

 

[averybojangles]

Seriously, how freaking trashy could someone be?
I have seen your ring...it is absoluetly gorgeous...I guarantee that she only asked that because it is large....

Where in the world were you? Was it a nicer boutique?

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 6/9/2007 9:19:04 PM
Author: averybojangles
Seriously, how *********** could someone be?

You do realize this term is a racial slur ...

ETA: edited

 

[averybojangles]

Sorry...I absolutely did not mean to offend anyone...
I sincerely appologise...

 

[iwannaprettyone]

I am trashy and I am indeed offended...

Edited to remove racial slur.

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 6/9/2007 9:25:50 PM
Author: averybojangles
Sorry...I absolutely did not mean to offend anyone...

I sincerely appologise...

There''s still time to edit your post if you use the edit button ... I''d edit mine quoting yours in kind.

 

[averybojangles]

Date: 6/9/2007 9:34:14 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 6/9/2007 9:25:50 PM
Author: averybojangles
Sorry...I absolutely did not mean to offend anyone...

I sincerely appologise...

There''s still time to edit your post if you use the edit button ... I''d edit mine quoting yours in kind.

I was just browsing through previous posts and I noticed that you used the word "ghetto" in your post...that is also considered an racial slur...I am pretty sure that you also didn''t mean to offend, but you can see how easily people can be offended...and how easily it is to offend unknowingly.

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 6/9/2007 9:58:16 PM
Author: averybojangles
I was just browsing through previous posts and I noticed that you used the word ''ghetto'' in your post...that is also considered an racial slur...

While the word "ghetto" is arguably a "classist" descriptor it is not limited to any one particular race. Though if anyone takes offence, I''ll happy apologize.