HELP! How high can a diamond be set?

[Noratr]

I just got engaged on Tuesday. My FI and I looked at settings together in January. I knew that I wanted a delicate setting with an emerald cut center stone. My biggest concern was finding a setting where my wedding band would sit flush next to my engagement ring. The jeweler said, "No problem, we can make it however you want!" Well, when I received the ring, the setting was obviously pertruding from the band. I went to the jeweler today and they told me that since the diamond was so large for the band, they had to set it lower. They said my only options are: 1.get a curved wedding band 2.drill out part of the setting and have my wedding band sottered to the engagement ring. It makes me so mad that they just set it that way, and didn''t talk to my FI about it first!
What I would really like to do, is to have the center stone set higher. They said that it would not be secure and I would probably end up knocking the diamond off the band! How much truth is there to that?
Please, someone, HELP!

 

[brellymom]

well my diamond sits quite high (as you can see in the avatar). I am not at all careful with my hands, but have never knocked it into something. I like the height partly because it makes the diamond really stand out - like it is sitting in a little showcase! It bothers me a little visually, but not enough to change it *yet*

My setting is different though so I don't know if it makes a difference and mine is an RB, but if it helps, here is a picture (it might be too close up, but hopefully it'll help).

 

[HVVS]

Step cuts are deep. The peg head would need to be narrow at the base then flare out above. Stuller 20182 Tulip Style Head is not for your shape stone, but that type of base on a peg head for an emerald cut may pinch in enough to let a band sit flush without having to add too much height.