Band as ER?

[feet_dragger]

Looking for an ER. Not that young anymore. Not that into large, flashy stones, etc. But do appreciate quality and beauty.

That said, what is the consensus on giving a very nice band (Van Craeynest, for example) as an ER, rather than a diamond solitaire, etc.?

Obviously, most of it depends on what she wants, but what are the thoughts of others?

Alternative would be something similar with smallish, very nice well-cut stone.

 

[JulieN]

how about an eternity band?

anyway, you can give whatever you want.

 

[Deelight]

If your FF was happy with that I would say go for it VC has some beautiful pieces , I would love to own one one day.


That said as well should you go the diamond route he does also have some fantastic ring settings as well, gem and diamond beautiful

.

This thread might help https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/show-me-some-van-craeynest.79472/

 

[Diamond*Dana]

I love the idea of having an eternity ring as an e-ring...they look beautiful with a plain wedding band (or 2) after the wedding!

 

[mrssalvo]

I think it''s a nice idea too if she''s open to it.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

Let her choice be your guide.

cheers--Sharon

 

[Rhea]

I like the idea of having a band as an e-ring. What does she want?

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 6/27/2008 11:23:14 PM
Author: canuk-gal
HI:


Let her choice be your guide.


cheers--Sharon

Ditto.

 

[Isabelle]

Date: 6/27/2008 7:38:35 PM
Author:feet_dragger
Looking for an ER. Not that young anymore. Not that into large, flashy stones, etc. But do appreciate quality and beauty.


That said, what is the consensus on giving a very nice band (Van Craeynest, for example) as an ER, rather than a diamond solitaire, etc.?


Obviously, most of it depends on what she wants, but what are the thoughts of others?


Alternative would be something similar with smallish, very nice well-cut stone.

This all sounds like it''s about what YOU want, not her, and you sound rather unenthusiastic about it as well. Is it that she wants "smallish" or is it that *you* want "smallish"? She''s not into "large", or *you''re* not into large? She wants an eternity band for her ering or *you* want to get her an eternity band? I think you need to get your head around the idea of trying to make your FI happy with her ring, and not getting what you think she ought to be happy with.

 

[Isabelle]

Oh and one more thing: your age is irrelevant. A woman of every age appreciates beauty.

 

[risingsun]

I echo the sentiments of the other posters. I have a five stone ring, which is my wedding band. If she is OK with that...go for it. If I saw I woman with a new eternity band, I would assume she had just gotten married and extend my congrats. Just make sure that this is her desire for her engagement ring.

 

[kcoursolle]

I would ask her about the idea and see what she would like. If she would like it, then why not?! I have a blingy five stone ring that would work well as an ER/Wedding ring all in one: https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/my-wf-5-stone-u-shaped-amazing-wedding-band.54795/

I also like the idea of a nice eternity ring.

 

[feet_dragger]

Thanks everybody for your responses! Any links to unique, interesting bands I might want to look at? Generally prefer things that look older or in a vintage style. Don''t necessarily have to be "eternity" bands, either.




Isabelle:

Perhaps you should read my post and not jump to conclusions or make assumptions about what I/she/we want. That''s a pretty harsh response based on the request I made. I won''t try to convince you of my "enthusiasm", but I will tell you that I always put considerable effort into purchasing gifts for my significant other (and I do view an ER as a "gift" -- I decided to get it for her, I will choose it, I will buy it, I will surprise her with it and a proposal). I have given her several pieces of antique jewelry (which I have shopped long and hard for) as well as various items of clothing -- and she has responded favorably to all -- not just verbally but wearing them often. I''m not worried about my tastes or my ability to appeal to her tastes. I was merely asking if there was any risk of committing a major faux pas in the eyes of others by getting her a band rather than a conventional ER. I wasn''t soliciting advice on my degree of enthusiasm or whether I understand her tastes or not.

I''m glad you think I need to "get my head around the idea of trying to make my FI happy with her ring". I don''t think I''d be here on this forum and making this effort if that wasn''t my objective. Sounds to me like your ideal scenario would be for me to give her a credit card and tell her to go buy what she wants -- then she''d be happy. That''s not how I give gifts. Taking the time and effort to find something that appeals to her aesthetic as well as mine is for me the true value of the gift (as well as providing much of the pleasure of giving a gift). If I really thought she wanted something large and flashy, I wouldn''t be suggesting something "smallish". And regarding our age, I believe most of us would admit that our sensibilities, tastes, and expectations often change as we get older. Also, asking her what she wants pretty much ruins the surprise, no?

After all, in the end, the absolute worst possible scenario is that she doesn''t like the ring. It''s a material object and can be replaced. I''ve had far worse problems in my life.

Date: 6/28/2008 9:17:52 AM
Author: Isabelle

Date: 6/27/2008 7:38:35 PM

This all sounds like it''s about what YOU want, not her, and you sound rather unenthusiastic about it as well. Is it that she wants ''smallish'' or is it that *you* want ''smallish''? She''s not into ''large'', or *you''re* not into large? She wants an eternity band for her ering or *you* want to get her an eternity band? I think you need to get your head around the idea of trying to make your FI happy with her ring, and not getting what you think she ought to be happy with.

 

[justjulia]

Well, I''m no spring chicken, and have only had a solitaire (by choice) the last 8 yrs of my 24 yr marriage. I usually wore a plain band, sometimes thin and sometimes more a cigar ring (found a fabulous wide cigar ring at an estate jeweler and wore it for years). I have an, ah hem, hobby, of trading up/around my solitaire using a great upgrade policy, so my solitaire has become earrings, pendants, and different shapes of ering, you name it, since the yr I received it. For a while I wore an eternity band alone, which was tres chic, I thought.

Now I''m back to wearing it all: eternity, thin wedding band, and solitaire on another ering for a mixed, quite blingacious look. I say do what ever makes you happy. It''s supposed to make you feel elated! It''s all good! Little or much! Classic or unique!

 

[canuk-gal]

Date: 6/28/2008 6:45:02 PM
Author: feet_dragger
I won't try to convince you of my 'enthusiasm',

Excellent. Don't. Your effort is laudable--this is an open forum about "diamonds" and most, here, would concur.

I will choose it, I will buy it, I will surprise her with it and a proposal). e has responded favorably to all --
our sensibilities, tastes, and expectations often change as we get older. Also, asking her what she wants pretty much ruins the surprise, no?

Engagement rings tend to be different animals than other "gifts". She may just surprise you--what she truely would desire might not be your choice. And is the most important issue that she be "surprised" or that she receive what would suit her/wants for a very long time?

After all, in the end, the absolute worst possible scenario is that she doesn't like the ring. It's a material object and can be replaced. I've had far worse problems in my life.

Go with a vendor that has a 100% refund policy. Worst case scenario--you may "need" it.

Date: 6/28/2008 9:17:52 AM

Date: 6/27/2008 7:38:35 PM

cheers--Sharon

 

[vslover]

Hmm...I think some of us feel a lack of enthusiasm because of the "feet-dragger" name you''re using.

 

[Rhea]

Asking her what she wants may "ruin" part of the surprise, but I think engagement rings are quite different to normal normal gifts. There is a lot of emotional attachment for both parties and it''s something that she is expected to wear everyday. I''m glad I chose my ring. When we started shopping we realised that we had different tastes in rings. He was very kind to buy it for me, but I''m so glad that he didn''t pick on his own.

I''m also glad that he picked his own engagement ring. I don''t like it''s pattern, but he love it and wears it all the time. Had I picked it I would have been hurt if he disliked it.

 

[Isabelle]

Date: 6/28/2008 6:45:02 PM
Author: feet_dragger
Thanks everybody for your responses! Any links to unique, interesting bands I might want to look at? Generally prefer things that look older or in a vintage style. Don''t necessarily have to be ''eternity'' bands, either.





Isabelle:


Perhaps you should read my post and not jump to conclusions or make assumptions about what I/she/we want. That''s a pretty harsh response based on the request I made. I won''t try to convince you of my ''enthusiasm'', but I will tell you that I always put considerable effort into purchasing gifts for my significant other (and I do view an ER as a ''gift'' -- I decided to get it for her, I will choose it, I will buy it, I will surprise her with it and a proposal). I have given her several pieces of antique jewelry (which I have shopped long and hard for) as well as various items of clothing -- and she has responded favorably to all -- not just verbally but wearing them often. I''m not worried about my tastes or my ability to appeal to her tastes. I was merely asking if there was any risk of committing a major faux pas in the eyes of others by getting her a band rather than a conventional ER. I wasn''t soliciting advice on my degree of enthusiasm or whether I understand her tastes or not.


I''m glad you think I need to ''get my head around the idea of trying to make my FI happy with her ring''. I don''t think I''d be here on this forum and making this effort if that wasn''t my objective. Sounds to me like your ideal scenario would be for me to give her a credit card and tell her to go buy what she wants -- then she''d be happy. That''s not how I give gifts. Taking the time and effort to find something that appeals to her aesthetic as well as mine is for me the true value of the gift (as well as providing much of the pleasure of giving a gift). If I really thought she wanted something large and flashy, I wouldn''t be suggesting something ''smallish''. And regarding our age, I believe most of us would admit that our sensibilities, tastes, and expectations often change as we get older. Also, asking her what she wants pretty much ruins the surprise, no?


After all, in the end, the absolute worst possible scenario is that she doesn''t like the ring. It''s a material object and can be replaced. I''ve had far worse problems in my life.

Date: 6/28/2008 9:17:52 AM

Author: Isabelle

Date: 6/27/2008 7:38:35 PM


This all sounds like it''s about what YOU want, not her, and you sound rather unenthusiastic about it as well. Is it that she wants ''smallish'' or is it that *you* want ''smallish''? She''s not into ''large'', or *you''re* not into large? She wants an eternity band for her ering or *you* want to get her an eternity band? I think you need to get your head around the idea of trying to make your FI happy with her ring, and not getting what you think she ought to be happy with.

That would all be well and good but your online moniker is "feet dragger", and your stated objective was "smallish", "not large", and you threw in your age as though that changes things. In your original post I don''t recall reading one thing that spoke about what SHE wants or your decision being driven by her likes or dislikes. Even your follow-up explanation makes clear, this is all about you: "I will choose it". You can''t ask her what she would like before you choose it? She is going to be wearing it every day for the rest of her life after all. And no, I don''t think asking her what sort of ring she would like to wear every day for the rest of her life is ruining a surprise, since presumably you have run it by her as to whether or not she wants to marry you. Let''s just agree to disagree. I hope for her sake she likes whatever you get. But I wonder why you would bother to ask strangers on PS whether THEY think it''s weird to give a band for an Ering, but won''t extend that same courtesy to your fiance.

 

[justjulia]

Okay, if you want to choose and make it a surprise, my vote is the unique band.
You''re older and not out to impress anyone, assuming she thinks the same. Have either of you been married before? Sometimes a woman has a quiet dream of having a solitaire, but won''t say it for fear of being labeled as greedy by her fiance. The nice thing about a band, is that no one can label you anything. Keeps them guessing.

Alternatively to a center diamond, I''ve seen some knock your socks off beautiful ceylon blue sapphire solitaires.

So, how are you proposing? I think you are sweet to be putting in the time to research this. Keep us posted.

 

[UCLABelle]

I always thought of having an eternity ring as an ER (and i am in my 20s). Age has less to do with it than style/preference. Many celebrities have chosen this option, including Audrey Hepburn and Marylin Monroe. I personally find them to be classy options.

You can typically get an exceptional diamond band ring for much less than a traditional engagement ring (assuming quality of stones are the same). Some of the eternity rings we looked at were at Signed Pieces/Facets, Harry Winston and Tiffany. A 3.0cttw round brilliant eternity ring at Harry Winston (sz 6) was about 15K---

 

[Lisa Loves Shiny]

What is her favorite colored stone? I would absolutely LOVE my birthstone alterating with diamonds in platinum. Now that would make a statement because it would be unique. My hubby would have had to consider (and remember) by birthstone, and his choice of platinum would mean he picked top quaility metal for me. She may feel the same way.

When you say you are not so young.....is this a second marriage and does she have children? If so then consider a diamond band with a diamonds and birth stones of you and her children? Even surprise colored stones tucked on the sides will have a sweet hidden meaning if you choose a diamond band.

IMHO a engagement ring always requires at story. People will be asking her all about it. Give a story about her or her life that shows that you care so much for her that she will be telling everyone,. That is why an engagement ring is so important. If you make it so special and so memorable then in future years when times get rough (as they sometimes do) the ring will remind her of your love.

Congrats on you upcoming engagement!!!!!

 

[Fly Girl]

Well, I''m not that young either, and I think I understand where you are coming from. Van Craeynest is beautiful. I also love many of the designs at Green Lake Jewlery Link. Here is an example of their beautiful bands. I think something along these lines would make a great engagement/wedding ring.

 

[feet_dragger]

Thanks for your suggestions. It''s helpful to hear others'' thoughts.

Fly Girl -- that''s a great link -- some beautiful rings there. I hadn''t come across that site before. Thanks. Let me know if there are other links to investigate.

I''m very familiar with most of the sources for vintage jewelry. It is only recently that I have been considering new and/or custom pieces.

 

[justjulia]

Wow, Flygirl, beautiful ring.

My eternity did not nearly cost as much as a Harry Winston. Not nearly. But it is beautiful and can stand alone nicely.

Our original wedding bands were ivory.

 

[krisvrn]

I would recommend a diamond 5 stone band or eternity or half eternity band ring. I think you can whatever style ring you like as an ER. Good luck and enjoy your search!

 

[honey22]

Can we just play nice here?

How about giving the OP the benefit of the doubt and read what he has actually written and not read into what he may be thinking.

Let''s make Rocky Talky a place where newbies can feel comfortable about asking for advice, instead of having to justify their position, enthusiasm, etc.

Back to the topic though, I think if you believe that your gf would be happy with an eternity band instead of an ering, then go for it. I would suggest getting some ideas of what she would love in an ering though. If you still want to suprise her, which I think is a lovely idea, then how about purchasing from a vendor that has an excellent return policy in the event that she doesn''t absolutely love it when it''s on her finger. Rings have a funny way of looking fabulous in the shop and then look totally different when it''s on the hand!

Good luck with your search for the perfect ering!

 

[Isabelle]

Date: 6/30/2008 1:47:11 AM
Author: honey22
Can we just play nice here?

How about giving the OP the benefit of the doubt and read what he has actually written and not read into what he may be thinking.


Let''s make Rocky Talky a place where newbies can feel comfortable about asking for advice, instead of having to justify their position, enthusiasm, etc.


Back to the topic though, I think if you believe that your gf would be happy with an eternity band instead of an ering, then go for it. I would suggest getting some ideas of what she would love in an ering though. If you still want to suprise her, which I think is a lovely idea, then how about purchasing from a vendor that has an excellent return policy in the event that she doesn''t absolutely love it when it''s on her finger. Rings have a funny way of looking fabulous in the shop and then look totally different when it''s on the hand!


Good luck with your search for the perfect ering!

Yeah, I apologize. I don''t mean to be rude. But the truth is that there is a pretty huge difference between an eternity ring and engagement ring. That isn''t to say one is better than the other, but without question there are a lot of brides who would be crestfallen to get a band instead of a solitaire or the like. I don''t have a bias against eternity bands: One of my favorite all time PS rings belongs to 777 Ldy who has an eternity band as her wedding ring/ering (You might recall that she took her 1 carat solitaire and placed it in the center. Then on each side she had .75, then .50, and then a whole row going around the ring of .25. Whiteflash made it for her and it is jaw dropping beautiful). But this was HER choice, and the truth is that the person whose opinion SHOULD matter to the OP regarding the idea of an "eternity ring INSTEAD of an ering" is *his FI*. Would YOU be happy with an eternity ring instead of an ering? And even if you would, there are many, many brides who WOULD NOT. So while I apologize for my brashness, I am also giving him some very good advice, and making an astute observation. His decision is apparently driven by what HE WANTS when instead he should be asking her what SHE LIKES.

 

[purrfectpear]

Maybe in your world women''s hopes become smaller, but in my (55) world, I would hope that my FI would surprise me with a fairly substantial diamond because he would probably have the means to purchase one with a mature income.

Notice I said Hope, not Expect.

Only you know what floats her boat. If you are confident she wants something small that''s fine. I just wanted to let you know that some of us think that now that we have better jobs, a larger engagement ring might be apropos.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 6/30/2008 9:50:20 AM
Author: purrfectpear
Maybe in your world women''s hopes become smaller, but in my (55) world, I would hope that my FI would surprise me with a fairly substantial diamond because he would probably have the means to purchase one with a mature income.


Notice I said Hope, not Expect.


Only you know what floats her boat. If you are confident she wants something small that''s fine. I just wanted to let you know that some of us think that now that we have better jobs, a larger engagement ring might be apropos.

Agreed.

 

[Isabelle]

Date: 6/30/2008 10:21:21 AM
Author: gwendolyn

Date: 6/30/2008 9:50:20 AM

Author: purrfectpear

Maybe in your world women''s hopes become smaller, but in my (55) world, I would hope that my FI would surprise me with a fairly substantial diamond because he would probably have the means to purchase one with a mature income.



Notice I said Hope, not Expect.



Only you know what floats her boat. If you are confident she wants something small that''s fine. I just wanted to let you know that some of us think that now that we have better jobs, a larger engagement ring might be apropos.

Agreed.

Ditto. I''ve heard the "I''m not that young anymore" excuse for getting a nicer ring. I can''t remember hearing it used as a reason to get a cheaper one.