Post by Eva14 » May 4th, 2012, 3:49 am
I browsed Ebay for months looking for my dream right hand ring. I have expensive tastes (Tiffany, Cartier, HW, etc.) and had hoped to get a used ring at a discount on Ebay.

I finally found what I thought was my dream ring, at a good deal less than retail cost. It was one of the brands I mentioned above.

I made an offer, the seller counter-offered, and I made a final offer. This took less than a half an hour. It came to $12,000, which is a lot of money for me. This was the first time I've ever placed an offer on an item, and I wasn't completely sure how the process worked.

The seller had 100% positive feedback and has been on Ebay for several years.

I read the item description carefully and studied the pictures.

I think I got caught up in the frenzy of making the counteroffers and didn't think things through as well as I should have. (We all make mistakes, right?)

I wasn't able to pay immediately due to a Paypal "sending limit", so I had a couple of days to study the ring's pictures after I'd made the purchase commitment. I started to wonder what I'd do if the ring didn't look right on me, when I'd be paying a LOT of money---$12,000!

I emailed the seller and told her my concerns. I asked if she would accept a return if I wasn't happy with the item. She rather rudely told me that those were questions I should have asked BEFORE I bid on the item.

In my email, I explained that I'd wanted this particular style of ring "for years". She then made a sarcastic comment. She wrote that if I'd wanted this exact ring "for years" then I surely must have gone to the brand name store and tried it on at least once, so I would already know what it looked like on my finger. But the truth is that I never have tried that particular style of ring on my finger before, so I don't know what it would look like on my finger. I didn't appreciate her insinuating that I was lying.

The seller told me unequivocally that she does NOT accept returns under any circumstances. She was sarcastic about that too, saying that she doesn't send out expensive jewelry for "try-ons".

At this point, her rude tone had really turned me off. If I went through with the transaction, I would be stuck with a ring I paid $12,000 for and I'm not even sure what it looked like in person! I decided that I couldn't take that risk. In my opinion, online vendors SHOULD accept returns on their items. Unless they are shady or have something to hide. I started to worry even more.

The more I looked at the photos of the ring, I noticed that a certain area that should have pave stones did not. I was getting really scared. What if the item wasn't authentic? I couldn't take the risk. Even if it was authentic, my dream ring has the pave and I wouldn't be happy with this ring.

I sent the seller a POLITE email explaining that I had decided to cancel the transaction. I apologized profusely for the inconveniece to her. I thought she might ask why I didn't want to go through with the transaction, so in my email I said that the lack of pave stones would bother ME. I NEVER said I thought the ring was inauthentic. I told her that she clearly had documentation of the ring's authenticity (the folder with the diamond grade info) and that for all I knew, the brand name store makes a style of the ring WITHOUT pave.

I said I thought it best to cancel the transaction before having her send me the ring, in which case I might not be happy with the ring. I said "we both have 100% positive feedback, so let's keep it that way".

I was utterly SHOCKED at the ANGRY email that I received from her in response!!! She completely misinterpreted my email. She said: "Why are you threatening ME with negative feedback when YOU are the one who won't pay for the ring???" I don't know where she got that from.

The seller went on to say "How dare you question the authenticity of the ring just because you can't afford to buy it?" I did NOT question the authenticity of the ring. And only *I* know what I can afford to buy. She acted like I was threatening her, saying "Don't send any messages to my personal email, because I won't respond". She said send the messages through Ebay, but what more was there for me to say? I cancelled the transaction. (She was the one who originally had asked me to send messages to her personal email address instead of through Ebay.)

She went on a tirade, saying "this is business, not a game!". She was accusing me of being frivolous and playing games, when I was a serious buyer who simply decided to back out of the deal. I've NEVER had to retract a bid before, and I told her so in my original email. Her tirade continued: "This is a terrible way to do business; you've wasted my time! And the ring comes in more than one style, so why don't you educate yourself instead of questioning the authenticity of the ring???" This was RUDE beyond belief. In my email to her, I had said, 'for all I know, the ring comes in more than one style".

Gosh, all I did was retract a bid! I know that's no fun for any seller and I've never done it before. I took the matter VERY seriously. I had told her, "After much deliberation, I think it's best that we cancel the transaction". I had expected a simple reply of, "Okay, sorry it didn't work out for you. I hope you'll shop with us sometime in the future". Instead I was verbally abused! It almost brought me to tears, her email was so nasty.

Her store has some nice jewelry, but why would I ever want to buy anything from her in the future? She certainly ruined the buyer/seller relationship. If she can't accept a bid retraction without getting nasty, she's not a person that I want to deal with.

You'll notice that I haven't mentioned the seller's name or the name of the brand name jewelry store or the name of the ring style. It's a popular style, so I decided not to write these details. I'm even being the better person by not mentioning the name of her Ebay store, as it never was my intention to cause any trouble.

Ebay wants me to leave feedback. I'm not sure what to say. She deserves a negative for the way she treated me, but I'm not that vindictive. Besides, I don't want her to say anything that would ruin my Ebay reputation. I'd like to give her a neutral, and just say "it didn't work out; transaction canceled", but I've heard that leaving a neutral is as bad as leaving a negative. She has 100% positive feedback, so she'd really be mad if I put a dent in that. I suppose I should give her a positive so she doesn't say something nasty about me?

I just had to share this experience, because it really was awful to be treated this way by a seller. She had no right to say such horrible things to me. A true professional would handle a bid retraction with class, correct? It's very stupid to turn off a potential future buyer just because ONE transaction didn't work out.