Working with your SO

[moon river]

I think Rob mentioned he does. Anyone else? How''s that working out for ya''ll? Me, not so great. My boyfriend/fiancee just started working at the same place I do. Differant departments. The ride to work is 35-40 minutes. That WAS my time. Not anymore. He doesn''t take the same route as I always do, he doesn''t make the same stops as I did(for gas, breakfast etc) and he TALKS the whole way there and back. Not to mention sometimes I stay over because he gets off a couple of hours after I do. Right now we have one vehicle, mine. I''m going nuts!!!! We made a deal to NOT see each other during lunch or breaks to keep from killing each other. Anyone else in my (sinking) boat?

 

[movie zombie]

not in your boat but what you''re describing is exactly why i couldn''t work in the same place no matter how much i love the other person!

good luck with this one....i hope someone in your same situation will chime in with some survival skills. investing in another car an option?

movie zombie

 

[mingagreen]

Well I used to work w/ my Dh (BF at the time) because it was the only time I COULD see him. He is a restaurant manager and I was the seater/greater. We never really saw eachother during work and it was really business at work. I worked w/ him for 4 years and it was ok the whole time. I quite when I got pregnant.
I do feel for you, sounds like you are missing out on "you" time and that is vital for most of us! Maybe you could split the time and way you go, where you eat, etc. Alternate who drives. Is there anyone else to carppol w/? I hope everything works out and make sure to get some you time at some point during your week.

 

[moon river]

I keep hoping he''ll make friends with someone who lives nearby so he can at least ride home with them when he has to work later. Like today, he has to work and yippeee, I''m off for the first Saturday in awhile. I''m all alone in my house. No teeager either.

Right now our other car is waiting for a transmission. We are saving up for that.
Since we live so far away from work, I''d say his finding a carpool is pretty chancey right now.

 

[msdarlinjoy]

I used to work with hubby at the hosp. I still work at.

It worked out lovely! My shift overlaped his shift by a couple of hours, and he would always walk by where I worked on his way to his department, and smile ... wink .... tell me to have a nice day ... or occaisionally he would surprise my by dropping of something to eat that he made.

He always scored lots of points when he would drop by my department and leave me goodies that he made at home ... all the ladies were like "wow ... he can cook!"

I really do miss him not working at the hosp. anymore. In someways though it is nice, he has every weekend off now, as opposed to just everyother weekend, and is home at dinner time during the week. So, I guess all in all, I do see him more now, than when we worked at the same place.

It''s a lil'' funny thinking back now, when we were going out with eachother, and other coworkers found out, he said that thanks to me "he was now a few notches higher on the work respect ladder ... If I was going out with him ... he must be an ok dude!" Still laughing at this one!

I think it would be a different story if we both had to commute together everyday, work in the same department everyday, and ride home everyday. I don''t know ... I love spending time with him

, and I love meeting people he knows, he loves meeting people I know, but I think the major thing that we would have to work out is after work time ... when could I just run to the store, or do this or that ... and he would probably feel the same, when would he have time to do this or that, and not have to have me sit in the car while he was looking at this or that, etc... Sharing a vehicle has some benefits, but it also has some draw backs too. I am sure people just work it out.

I wonder what other people do, or handle these sorts of situations.

Have a happy day!

 

[dani13]

I used to work with my x-bf at the hospital I work at. He was a resident dr. and I am a nurse. At first it was good, but after a while, it was overkill, so I totally hear you. It was just too much after awhile, we would work together all day, and then go out to dinner on a Fri night and have nothing to talk about, since we had been with eachother all day...It is nice to be with your SO frequently, but when it is too much I think it brings potential for problems...

 

[Angela1977]

My BF and I work together. He actually trained me, and we''ve been partners ever since. We sit side by side 45+ hours a week. We back each other up. If I''m on the phone and I get another call, he takes it and vice versa. If I''m not here, they ask for him and vice versa. I know it can''t always be this way, but I think it''s been the BEST foundation for us that we could''ve possibly had. We were both in other relationships when we started, and when those relationships ended, we realized that there was more here. We were BEST friends, we relied on each other, we had built this relationship without having to "impress" each other. If you talk to him about when we won''t be working together (and you hit him at the right moment...usually after a bottle of red wine

) he looks like he''s about to cry. We really dread not working together...it gets me up in the mornings knowing I''m going to see him at work. I dread the vacation days he''s off (when it''s just a random "I don''t want to go to work or I have some errands to do" day), and he does too. So it''s worked out really well for us. But that''s the exception, not the rule. Most people couldn''t stand it...

Also, no one here KNOWS we''re dating. They all suspect it...we show up to everything together. We''re 28 and 35 and haven''t dated anyone for 4 years, and no one questions why. We talk about movies we''ve seen together, we''ve been seen out to dinner together, but it''s a "don''t ask don''t tell policy"...so we''re just going to hit them with an email saying "HA! We''re engaged!" (We''re going to put it more eloquently than that of course) That''s for all of the cynics who just think we''re "friends with benefits". I can''t wait to see the looks on their faces. He was actually working on the rough draft of it while I was at lunch...so ring time is coming soon!

 

[Caribou]

I could never do it. My co-worker/friend works with her boyfriend and all they do it fight, she complains about how much time they spend together yet she won''t remove her hip from his after work.

Another co-work/friend of mine worked with is wife and they managed it for many years.

I just don''t know how people do it, 24/7....I would need my space.

 

[aphisiglovessae]

Me and my ex worked together at two jobs. It was great for us. We were able to keep our personal life and work life COMPLETELY sperated and we didn''t play favorites with each other like some couples that work together do. Our coworkers didn''t even know we were a couple (engaged too!), until we actually told someone.. The other cool thing was that we made the same friends from work and would hang out with them after our shifts. Sigh, this is one of the things that I missed most, because it was when we actually got along and had fun together..

I almost got a job with my current fiance, but because I hadn''t actually finished school at the time, I didn''t want to get a full-time job until I was done. He drives almost an hour to work, so I honestly don''t think I could handle a two hour drive with him everyday.. Other than that, I think we would''ve had a great time working together.

The only thing I don''t really like about living and working with a SO, is the fact that because you don''t do anything seperately, you''d run out of things to talk about (or at least me and my fiance would). Also, spending so much time together would weaken my tolerance for the little things about him that could irritate me (which sounds like what is happening with you).

I think a good solution for you would be to have an hour or two each day of YOU time. Time for you to do what interests you (hobbies or something), alone and peaceful. Basically it''s time away from him. I make it a point to do this because I (and I''m sure a lot of other people) sometimes just need a break from my SO to enjoy MY life as an independent woman..

 

[eks6426]

Angela1977--Before you guys go public you might want to check with HR on what the policy is. A lot of companies have rules that people who are romantically involved can''t be in the same department and certainly not doing the same job backing each other up. Besides, how are you going to take time off for your wedding and honeymoon if you are eachother''s back up?

 

[Sundial]

I worked with my husband in his family business for seven years. We had separate jobs so we stayed out of each other''s way for the most part and we drove separate cars to work as he tended to go in early and I arrived later. Still there were times when he drove me crazy and I found out things about how he was at the office that I never knew before (like the fact that he is terrible about returning phone calls). We made it work, but I''m kind of glad we''re not doing it anymore.

 

[CourtHorn]

My BF (almost fiance!) used to be my boss. I loved it. For some reason i could be around him all the time, and not get irritated, so it was nice to be with him more. I also really liked watching him be "MR. Smarty Pants Boss Man." It was sexy

 

[ivanadiamond]

oh hell no

I love my husband dearly, but I love having my own thing going on and him having his. I couldn''t imagine working together, unless perhaps we owned our own company, but even then I don''t think we could be in the same room all day long. Maybe you can have him get rides a few days of the week and carpool the other? Don''t you have that class thingie, event, someplace to be after work a few days a week?!?

 

[moon river]

OK, trying something new. I agreed to have lunch and one break with him if he promised NOT to talk on the way to work and only about non-work related issues on the way home. And only after 10 minutes of silence. Has worked for one day now. We''ll see.

 

[Caribou]

Date: 4/3/2006 5:47:34 PM
Author: Sundial
I worked with my husband in his family business for seven years. We had separate jobs so we stayed out of each other''s way for the most part and we drove separate cars to work as he tended to go in early and I arrived later. Still there were times when he drove me crazy and I found out things about how he was at the office that I never knew before (like the fact that he is terrible about returning phone calls). We made it work, but I''m kind of glad we''re not doing it anymore.

This is another reason why I couldn''t work with my FI, I would not want to hear anything bad about him...like if he was lazy (which he isn''t), mean, etc., and I certainly wouldn''t want him to hear those things about me.

 

[Angela1977]

IslandDreams...
We don''t really have different departments here. We have checked the corporate policy, and the only thing is nepotism (managers and their subordinates). We''re going to go to our manager first and let him know what''s going on. If he thinks it will be an issue, then we won''t go public until one of us gets another job. My manager is a "don''t ask don''t tell kind of guy". But we know there are people in other branches that are dating and are married. It''s not ideal, but it''s not against company policy...they can''t fire us. As far as the backing each other up, that''s going to be the problem, but we''re confident we can work that out. We''ve hired enough people that they can fill in for us. They wouldn''t have our expertise, but they can make it through for a week...

 

[moon river]

Okay when I last posted I had left work for a Dr. apppointment and was playing hooky at home to PS for awhile before going back. I walk in the door and GUESS WHO GOT TRANSFERRED TO MY DEPARTMENT???????????

So much for that idea.

We''re still trying the no talking until our time thing. I just don''t know if I can handle him 27 hours a day(yes, 27 because that is how it seems) I need my time. For crying out loud I think they are trying to get me to quit.