shape
carat
color
clarity

Dogs and Cats

Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.

strmrdr

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 1, 2003
Messages
23,295
EXCERPTS FROM A DOG''S DAILY DIARY

8:00 a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 a.m. Wow! A car ride! This is a blast!
9:40 a.m. Got to go to the park! Rolled in some really nasty stuff, was so proud of myself. Humans were less than impressed.
10:30 a.m. Got my tummy rubbed and petted -- I''m in love!
12:00 p.m. Lunch: yummy!
1:00 p.m. Played in the yard: I loved it!
3:00 p.m. Stared adoringly at my masters ... they''re the best!
4:00 p.m. Hooray! The kids got home! I was so happy I was bouncing off the walls!
5:00 p.m. Milkbones -- awesome!
7:00! p.m. Got to play ball! What a day, this was too good to be true!
8:00 p.m. Wow: watching TV with my master! Heavenly!


EXCERPTS FROM A CAT''S DAILY DIARY

Day 683 of My Captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomited on the floor.

Today, I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ''''good little hunter'''' I am. The audacity!!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today, I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow-- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released--and he seems more than willing to return! He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant-- I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. The captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe ~ for now. But I can wait. It is only a matter of time...
 

Lorelei

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 30, 2005
Messages
42,064
Oh storm, thank you so much for posting that, too funny!
 

monarch64

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Aug 12, 2005
Messages
19,213
Ha ha, Storm, that''s really funny, and (I think) so true! I once heard that, if you die alone somewhere and you have both a cat and a dog as pets, the cat will be more likely to eat your remains than the dog will...I think the premise was that cats are more concerned about their own survival, whereas a dog would be more loyal and not want to eat you unless he ABSOLUTELY had to. (Not my personal opinion, btw, just something I heard.)
31.gif
9.gif
2.gif
 

pricescope

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 31, 1999
Messages
8,266
Storm, Thanks
9.gif
!

3:00 p.m. Stared adoringly at my masters ... they''re the best! - this is so our dog
 

blodthecat

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 17, 2005
Messages
805
That''s sooo funny.

Not too far from the truth either. Cats are extremely intelligent creatures.

>^..^< Blod
 

AndyRosse

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 25, 2004
Messages
4,363
LOL too funny Strm!!!
 

fire&ice

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 22, 2002
Messages
7,828
That is a riot! We have a towel that says "Dogs come when they are called. Cats take a message and get back to you."
2.gif
 

moon river

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 7, 2006
Messages
1,806
Another Strm treasure
9.gif

F&I I think your towel saying is hilarious. And true!
 

Kaleigh

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 18, 2004
Messages
29,571
ROTFLMAO, what a riot. That cracked me right up!!
9.gif
 

Mara

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 30, 2002
Messages
31,003
Date: 3/5/2006 8:50:15 AM
Author: Pricescope
Storm, Thanks
9.gif
!

3:00 p.m. Stared adoringly at my masters ... they're the best! - this is so our dog
Haha I have seen this before via email and it is still sooo true...love the cat part.

Portia must think I am really the best ... because she sits and stares at me for an HOUR sometimes when I work at home..finally I am like gosh go lay down or play or something, you are freaking me out!
2.gif


Or maybe she is just trying to will me to get up and give her another treat. If I just stare at her a few more minutes...
9.gif
 

koko

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Oct 2, 2005
Messages
315
Thanks, Storm...so true, so true.....we have 2 siamese cats whose mission in life it is to torment our lovable boxer, ala, "Lady & the Tramp...." I swear, one of them actually smiles if Bailey (the boxer) gets a spanking!!
 
Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.
Be a part of the community Get 3 HCA Results
Top