Don''t wanna get married...

[Dancing Fire]

heard it on the news last night....

avg age for the bride....26, groom...27

 

[picky]

Hi, commitment phobe here!!

I''ve always been sketchy about marriage, and my fiance has been asking me for 3.5 years to get married, and I recently decided I will indeed marry him. This decision came after much thorough consideration and evaluation of him and our relationship. But it took me a long time to get here. Marriage, to me, is less romantic and about love, as it is a legally binding contract that I am getting into for the benefit of child rearing. If I didn''t want children, I''d see no reason to marry actually. But I want the security of a legal contract for the stability when children come into the picture.

It took me this long, but as the years go on, he has consistantly been a compassionate, nurturing, devoted, trustworthy, loving, generous, reliable life partner. He started out incredible, and continues to be incredible. This is how I know I am making the right decision. Also, our love keeps on being sweet and caring.

6 months is not long enough, in my opinion, to really know if someone is a suitable life partner. Give yourself time before making any definate decisions.

 

[picky]

Oh! I wanted to add that the idea of a wedding makes me GAG!! I seriously just stay out of any threads/forums about weddings, because I think they are the most stupid waste of money ever. I want to elope on a cruise ship..make it a whole vacation with the money saved!...and to think of all the money people spend on ONE DAY!!! It''s gotten outrageous! Ack! People just flush the money down the toilet on them! Don''t even get me started on WEDDINGS. ew.

 

[treysar]

Hey forte..

I''m only 30 - and 4 years ago, i never really saw myself getting married either - and it wasn''t that I was alone - i was in love at the time, but it was the farthest thing from my mind. I didn''t NOT want to, but I didn''t particulray WANT TO either. That being said, the fact that you have friends in unhappy marriages wouldn''t make me love the idea either!!

3 years ago I dated my husband, then lived with him, and one day he proposed - i had never mentioned, never said i wanted it, (never said i didn''t either) and when he asked, I was like, Wow, I love this man, and I want to marry him! But If he had wanted to get married right awauy I may have shyed away a bit. We waited 1 1/2 years to get married and it worked out perfectly for me (and him!)

So don''t feel weird that you feel that way, i think it''s rpett normal - ya know, alot of girls get marreid right after college becuaes they think that''s what they are supposed to "do next".

No pressure on yourself - some do, some don''t, no need to pin it down right now, ya know?

 

[treysar]

BTW - I COMMEND you for not getting married simply for the big sparkly that often comes with it - knowing what a disease this whole diamond obsession is, It can be hard to pass that up!




(this is a joke, to anyone reading that thinks i''m serious - I am SOOO KIDDING!)

 

[cymbrie]

Hi Forte-
In agreement with the rest, I am 30 and for the longest time said MARRIAGE and KIDS?! NO (insert expletive of choice) WAY. At 26 I was still so young and stupid I didn''t know whether to scratch my watch or wind my butt

. I was in two long term relationships prior to meeting my now fiance. I always thought love and romance and all that schmoopy stuff was for everyone else. I thought I was happy being in a LTR with a guy who was kind, devoted and affectionate (albeit didn''t light my britches on fire).
My sis met her PERFECT man at 23 they married at 26 after he swept her off her feet, asked my folks'' permission and proposed with a lovely ring on Christmas eve they now have the 2.5 kids, the dog and picket fence (ok no picket fence but they midas well have). I thought hey cool for her, NOT for me...then I met my fiance. I found myself feeling all these "marriagee" type feelings and I want to bear this man''s children type feelings and it wasn''t freaking me out, it was the weirdest thing like how the hell did this happen?! We''ve both become these sappy, lovey dovey schoopy people (the ones we used to joke about and make fun of) that NEITHER of us were before we met. It''s so bad at times we mutually agree we need to take ourselves outside and kick our own arses. We even unbeknownst to one another had the same boy and girl names picked out if we have more kids (he has a daughter from his previous marriage which he admits they entered into too young 23 and 25 respectively). Anyway my long and rambling point is that you will KNOW IF and WHEN you are ready. You will KNOW IF and WHEN you meet the ONE. My mom (a school teacher of 37+ years) always said people (kids) experience the most change, psychologically, mentally, emotionally btw the ages of 26-30. I know for sure that was true for me. My fiance always says btw the ages of 25 (when we met he was 33) and 30, I watched you go from being a girl somewhat lost and immature to becoming a more mature and confident young woman.
Let that process unfold for yourself as well and if Mr. right now sticks around for it, he might be rewarded with your realization that he is in fact the ONE. Best of luck to you and don''t stress!