Dinner & Proposal - which order?

[CountryBoy]

Hi Folks,

I am less than a month away from proposing in Kauai, Hawaii. While I haven''t yet completely decided, I am strongly leaning towards a "dinner on the beach" (private table directly on the beach with dedicated server) and a proposal. For reasons that is too long to go into, the proposal itself must take place at sunset, when it is kind of 1/2 dark and 1/2 light.

So here is my question - should I have dinner first, while it is still daytime, and then propose? Or should I propose at sunset and then have a dinner with some supplied lighting from the hotel (they can do this)?

I like the idea of having dinner afterwards because I think nightime is more romantic and the dinner would serve as a celebration. I like the idea of having dinner first because it would help set the mood.

Any thoughts or suggestions? If I have dinner first, what can we do after the proposal to celebrate? If I propose first, what can I do before the proposal to set the mood?

I really appreciate any thoughts.

 

[ame]

I vote propose first, eat second. If you are too nervous to eat she will know something is up.

 

[Tinkerbel]

I would also vote for propose first. Well, you said that your dinner is at a beach, right? So have a romantic walk with her on the beach to set the mood, proposed, then dinner. I would think that your dinner will be an expensive one. So of course you don''t want to waste it, right? You want yourself and herself to enjoy the dinner as well, right?

But if you have dinner first, I''m sure you will be so nervous that you may not enjoy the dinner as much. And if she''s that you''re nervous, she will start thinking this and that, and less enjoy your expensive dinner as well.

Good luck and tell us how it goes...

I will like this forum. Even though it''s not my turn yet, but I feel happy giving out my opinion and suggestion.

 

[Melinda]

How romantic! I agree, proposal first, then she can be thrilled and you can be unwound. That way, you''ll have the whole evening ahead of you. Lucky gal!@

 

[bling*diva*]

~~I''m with the majority here... propose first and eat second for a couple of reasons... you want to enjoy dinner right? So, if you propose (maybe in a more intimate setting) before dinner, you won''t be nervous, you will enjoy dinner, and you can call it your first dinner as an engaged couple! How exciting!! Also, we all know that restaurant lighting is really good to diamonds, so everyone will be able to see that baby sparkle!!

Good Luck!!!

 

[ellewoods]

Hi CountryBoy.

Good luck with the upcoming proposal! I think it''s great you''ve thought of every special little detail. She will be so happy!

I agree with everyone else, definitely propose before dinner. Take a walk on the beach before she sees your table, and you can find a private spot to propose. That way she can be shocked, and happy, and disoriented for a few minutes. Then you can lead her to your table and have a wonderful romantic dinner.

If you wait to propose until after dinner, she may suspect that you''re going to propose all throughout dinner. So she will be super nervous, wondering if you''re going to propose, and she won''t really relax and enjoy the dinner. At least I think that''s how I''d feel. If you do it first, then you can have dinner as a celebration like you said.

 

[jellybean]

Ring, then food.

 

[door knob solitaire]

Hey Country Boy,

I agree with Ellewoods...

In my opinion, the proposal in the setting you have chosen should be between you and your bride to be, and the all important setting of the sun. The splash of the waves, the scent of the ocean, the aura of Hawaii... Every little girl dreams of exactly what you are planning. Enjoy the moment...spend some time with her there...just the two of you and the ring and the promise of the future and drink in the sun set. No rush to get to the meal...there will be many a meal to share in the future. Only one special moment. (leave the waiter out of this one).

Detail your dinner ahead of time and plan to have the table just "appear" as you meander back to the public area. Plan it to be an hour and 1/2 after your proposal (the best of the sun set is after the sun disappears...) You''ll know the table is ready when you see the candle light glowing* (or someother signal you have designated with the server). She won''t know to look there...but you will. As you casually walk nearer the table, release your hold on her, slightly change your path and pull out the chair...believe us when we say, after your plans, the sunset, the proposal and the ring...her knees will give out and she will need a chair!

And just know that what ever you plan as being perfect...will be. All that is important is you, your bride, and the sunset. These three things are what is important to both of you. Involve the stranger (waiter) after your private time together.

Hope you meant it when you requested any thoughts...I gave you everything I had.

Door Knob

PS. Just a little caveat...you are setting yourself up for a lot of work in the years to come. You''ll have to continue these romantic shananigans for birthdays, anniversaries, and when your first baby comes along you better be ready with another diamond!! Don''t let the board down...we''ll want to hear how you topped yourself, next!!

 

[Daniel B]

Yes, Yes, propose first- then afterward dinner will never have tasted so good!! Plus the lighting in a restaurant or their accomodations as you pointed out- you cant beat it!

 

[heart prongs]

Propose first, dinner afterward...a diamond is perhaps the only thing I''d ever put before a good meal!!!

 

[snuga]

Propose first!!

 

[CountryBoy]

Hello Folks,

I really want to thank everyone for their thoughts on this subject. I am shocked to see that every single person says I should propose first and then have dinner later. I''ve had a new wrinkle develop in my plan, but will probably address that later in another thread. I''m less than two weeks away now ... this stuff is maddening but fun!

Thanks again for all the help. It is most appreciated.

Countryboy

 

[ello]

If my boyfriend presented me with the ring first I would not be able to eat - I would stare at my ring for the rest of the evening. I also think having something in your tummy will help with the pre-engagement jitters!