Do you discuss politics often ....

[Calliecake]

With people you know have opposing views? Other than this forum, I don't discuss them often with people I know with opposing views.
Mainly because I know neither of us will change the other person's mind. We will discuss an issue, example being abortion but that is about it.

My dad is the only exception and we really need to stop or one of us may have a heart attack.

 

[katharath]

Just depends. With some people yes - with others, no way. My dad actually worships RUSH LIMBAUGH. Yes, it's shameful. Things are so bad with him that I'm frankly ready to never speak to him again, but it's not just over politics - he's unreasonable about many things. (My mom is more reasonable and I'm nowhere near ready to sever with her; really not at that point at all with her, just my dad, and we can discuss *some* politics).

Small recent story:

We were visiting my grandma in the ICU a couple of weeks ago, and we had travelled out of state to see her (in Utah. It was touch and go but she's much improved; we literally dropped everything and rushed to see her bc we thought she was not going to make it). An older gentleman (70+?) was in the ICU waiting area. He began muttering loudly about Trump and "millions of illegals voting in the election". He wasn't even talking to anyone but himself, apparently? There was literally no one else around. He continued spouting Trumpisms to himself and staring at my DH and I, as if trying to get us to engage and agree with him.

My DH and I didn't want to "get into it" with an elderly man AT THE HOSPITAL (lol), so we just ignored him. But finally, after several minutes of this weirdness going on, my DH said "if you're so worried about the "illegals" voting, then you should be fine with a do over, yes?"

The man looked INFURIATED and just then, my mom (who we were waiting for) came out to get us, so we left. It was so bizarre. My best guess is that he saw us, a white couple in our mid/late 30s (in UTAH, remember), and just assumed we were Trumpers ready to have a hate rant session with him.

 

[Calliecake]

Katharath, I hope your grandmother continues to improve.

 

[mom2dolls]

My husband, so almost on a daily basis. We have respectful discussions about the goings on in our government now that Trump is POTUS. My DH is pro Trump, I am most definitely not
There have been many heated conversations that turned into fights during the campaign. Now, we quickly end a conversation if it is headed into heated territory. We know what can be discussed and how far a topic can go.

 

[lovedogs]

My husband, so almost on a daily basis. We have respectful discussions about the goings on in our government now that Trump is POTUS. My DH is pro Trump, I am most definitely not
There have been many heated conversations that turned into fights during the campaign. Now, we quickly end a conversation if it is headed into heated territory. We know what can be discussed and how far a topic can go.

Wow, I'm seriously impressed that you guys have been able to figure out how to deal with such strong political differences. I'm not sure my DH and I would be able to do that. Not to pry (and feel free to ignore the question if it's too personal), but are you both generally conservative, but you dislike Trump and he doesn't? Or are you liberal and he is conservative? Either way, good for both of you for being able to handle the disagreements without them turning into huge fights.

 

[mom2dolls]

My husband, so almost on a daily basis. We have respectful discussions about the goings on in our government now that Trump is POTUS. My DH is pro Trump, I am most definitely not
There have been many heated conversations that turned into fights during the campaign. Now, we quickly end a conversation if it is headed into heated territory. We know what can be discussed and how far a topic can go.

Wow, I'm seriously impressed that you guys have been able to figure out how to deal with such strong political differences. I'm not sure my DH and I would be able to do that. Not to pry (and feel free to ignore the question if it's too personal), but are you both generally conservative, but you dislike Trump and he doesn't? Or are you liberal and he is conservative? Either way, good for both of you for being able to handle the disagreements without them turning into huge fights.

I would say he is conservative and I am liberal. I am passionate to say the least about my disdain for Trump, so this makes it interesting. We have been friends for over 20 years, together as a couple for almost eight years. I joke that I am not sure how I ended up marrying a gun toting Republican lol. We respect and love each other and worked hard to find a balance during the campaign.

 

[katharath]

Katharath, I hope your grandmother continues to improve.

Thank you, Callie, appreciate the kind words (sorry for derailing a bit!)

 

[lovedogs]

My husband, so almost on a daily basis. We have respectful discussions about the goings on in our government now that Trump is POTUS. My DH is pro Trump, I am most definitely not
There have been many heated conversations that turned into fights during the campaign. Now, we quickly end a conversation if it is headed into heated territory. We know what can be discussed and how far a topic can go.

Wow, I'm seriously impressed that you guys have been able to figure out how to deal with such strong political differences. I'm not sure my DH and I would be able to do that. Not to pry (and feel free to ignore the question if it's too personal), but are you both generally conservative, but you dislike Trump and he doesn't? Or are you liberal and he is conservative? Either way, good for both of you for being able to handle the disagreements without them turning into huge fights.

I would say he is conservative and I am liberal. I am passionate to say the least about my disdain for Trump, so this makes it interesting. We have been friends for over 20 years, together as a couple for almost eight years. I joke that I am not sure how I ended up marrying a gun toting Republican lol. We respect and love each other and worked hard to find a balance during the campaign.

That's awesome, happy for you guys!!!

 

[katharath]

My husband, so almost on a daily basis. We have respectful discussions about the goings on in our government now that Trump is POTUS. My DH is pro Trump, I am most definitely not
There have been many heated conversations that turned into fights during the campaign. Now, we quickly end a conversation if it is headed into heated territory. We know what can be discussed and how far a topic can go.

Wow, I'm seriously impressed that you guys have been able to figure out how to deal with such strong political differences. I'm not sure my DH and I would be able to do that. Not to pry (and feel free to ignore the question if it's too personal), but are you both generally conservative, but you dislike Trump and he doesn't? Or are you liberal and he is conservative? Either way, good for both of you for being able to handle the disagreements without them turning into huge fights.

I would say he is conservative and I am liberal. I am passionate to say the least about my disdain for Trump, so this makes it interesting. We have been friends for over 20 years, together as a couple for almost eight years. I joke that I am not sure how I ended up marrying a gun toting Republican lol. We respect and love each other and worked hard to find a balance during the campaign.

I'm like lovedogs - I don't think I could do it!! Glad you've found what works for the two of you. I can see how respect would be key.

 

[monarch64]

I listen. If I know my opinions will not be well-received or heard, I don't offer them.

HOWEVER, if something said is very offensive (anti-women, racist, anti-LGBTQ, etc.) I speak up, and I do it without anger or passion. I find that if you approach someone calmly and offer tempered responses or ideas/opinions, they are more willing to listen and what you say has a better chance of sticking with them. Maybe they haven't experienced or ever been around LGBTQ population, or grew up in an entirely white community, or have been taught their entire lives that women are inferior. Sometimes it's a learning opportunity for both of us. Sometimes it's a lost cause, but I find more often than not people are willing to talk to each other as long as everyone remains calm and not defensive.

I am fascinated by learning why people hold the values they do when they differ from mine.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

90% of the people in my life (family, friends, co-workers) have like minded ideas. I shut down the conversation very quickly with the other 10%. I avoid confrontation and find it unproductive.

 

[Dee*Jay]

90% of the people in my life (family, friends, co-workers) have like minded ideas. I shut down the conversation very quickly with the other 10%. I avoid confrontation and find it unproductive.

I love a good confrontation -- especially first thing the morning, preferably with my coffee. Sets the tone for the hole day!

(Kidding! )

*Most* of my friends and coworkers are also of similar political views and I *generally* avoid the ones that are on the other side at this point as I don't find them willing to engage in civilized conversation. I figure I get enough attempted "justification" for Pvss Grab's unjustifiable actions on here that I don't seek it out in real life.

As for my family... I haven't been able to bring myself to speak to my father since last September and my mother (who I speak to every few years at best) is no better. You may recall my father truly believes that President Obama was a Muslim born in Kenya. There's NO reasoning with that.

 

[OreoRosies86]

I consider my mom my entire world, best friend, I know she loves me and would do anything for me.

But that woman loves Trump. She gets VERY incensed if I even mention anything political. And I'm fiery online because I feel more free to let opinions fly, but in my real life I have often been described as chill (I work in a management job and kind of have to be), and we get into it. My father voted Trump and has been extremely disappointed in how it's going so far, and the fact that he whines so much on Twitter instead of being and acting presidentially.

We were recently discussing the disaster that is Betsy Duvos, and she just kept repeating "Well I was laid off from my teaching job in 1981, you can't blame everything on Trump."

I said WTH does that even mean?

This has been exhausting, because rational people I care about are acting like this is normal. I still love my family, but they are setting a piss poor example when they equate sexual assault with locker room talk.

 

[redwood66]

I discuss politics with DH and DS. Since I retired I don't have the opportunity daily to discuss it with others. And I don't talk about politics with random strangers at the store. The widespread division between family members across the US because of politics during this election cycle is amazing to me. I don't understand how anyone can say I am not talking to son, mother, father, husband, etc. because they are of another political stripe. My grandmother is a died in the wool democrat who is opinionated as hell and I cannot imagine saying I would never speak to her again because of those views. I have a couple friends who are liberal and we do not discuss politics. I know their views but I love them anyway as they do me.

 

[momhappy]

No, I try not to discuss politics often.
I know a couple where one spouse voted Trump and the other Clinton. The Clinton supporter is fairly obsessed with talking politics and it's put quite a strain on the relationship.
Personally, I have found that I prefer to distance myself from people who discuss politics a lot.

 

[Queenie60]

I avoid discussing politics with anyone other than my husband and my best friend - we agree politically. I keep my lip zipped and my thoughts to myself.

 

[the_mother_thing]

I hung up on my very-liberal father earlier tonight because he can't discuss politics without yelling. I love him, but I don't live under his roof anymore so I don't need to entertain his lack of self control & hostility. He can call me back when he is ready to apologize.

Ironically, I told him about the Chump-Racism study Matata posted (how the article author cited its own study with no mention of Chump, yet somehow found Chump to blame). He said "what moron would believe a study blaming Trump for something if the study doesn't even mention Trump?"

 

[Calliecake]

One of my brothers refused to have Thanksgiving with our family one year because we didn't vote the way he wanted us to. His family hosted Thanksgiving for his wife's family this year. Her sister refused to attend because he won't shut up about politics.

My stepmother has told my dad that she will leave him if he doesn't start watching something other than Fox News. She said it's gloom and doom, all day, every day (and she is a Republican!).

 

[lyra]

Yes I do, to varying degrees. My dad always encouraged me to talk politics with him and his friends. Sounds weird, but he was a drinker, so who knows. We had family friends who were in local and provincial politics who were around often too, so maybe it wasn't that weird.

I'm also married to a conservative. I'm definitely liberal. This last year has been really hard. My DH and I disagree on Trump. He says he doesn't like him, yet he defends him sometimes, so I have to walk away sometimes. It's hard not to voice a disagreement, but it's not worth it most of the time, and we don't disagree on everything. He tends to underplay things, and maybe I overplay, I don't know. He's outnumbered in our household though. Three adult liberal females to one sort of conservative.

 

[Dancing Fire]

With people you know have opposing views? Other than this forum, I don't discuss them often with people I know with opposing views.
Mainly because I know neither of us will change the other person's mind. We will discuss an issue, example being abortion but that is about it.

My dad is the only exception and we really need to stop or one of us may have a heart attack.

Yes, My brother is RADICAL left winger. every time when we GTG for lunch he must talk politics... A couple of times he almost had a heart attack when he can't defend Obama... He said I turn into a rich white man...

 

[missy]

This time is different. In the past it was easier to discuss politics with those who had opposing views but it is different this go around. Too frustrating and upsetting do discuss in any detail with those who are polar opposites politically.
Especially because it feels so much is at stake right now. My tipping point has been reached and next person might feel my wrath.


As an aside, one of the founders of the "pink pussy hat" project is a Barnard Alumna (my alma mater woohoo!)..GO Barnard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#smartgirlsunite #Banardrocks #Pinkpussycatsrule #lovekittieswithpinkhats.

 

[smitcompton]

Hi,

During the Vietnam war and the Nixon years there was a lot of controversy. Everyone that I knew then, stated their point of view. My own brother screamed at me once calling me a traitor. He lived in my house at the time, but I never thought of telling him to,leave. My husband as well was a supporter of the war, but no divorce. That would seem silly to me. So many arguments with friends and church members, but when the fight was over, it was over, perhaps to be continued when the next piece of news came out.

Never, ever did we feel hate toward each other. My brother and I do laugh about it now.

Annette

 

[the_mother_thing]

My father just called me to apologize for his behavior last night.



Of course, he then launched into another hostile, political tirade, so I hung up on him again. Ahh it's a vicious cycle ...

 

[Calliecake]

My father just called me to apologize for his behavior last night.



Of course, he then launched into another hostile, political tirade, so I hung up on him again. Ahh it's a vicious cycle ...

Jenn, What we need to do is trade fathers. DeeJay and I will trade you our dads and we will take yours off your hands... for the next four years. Mine really is a great guy, he can fix anything, he cooks and cleans, and I guarantee you will have the best Christmas display in your neighborhood. Just keep him away from the washer and dryer. Is it a deal?

On a serious note, I understand the phone calls. I find any excuse to hang up often because I'm afraid he will have a heart attack. I tell myself it would be so much worse if we lived in the same state.

 

[the_mother_thing]

Jenn, What we need to do is trade fathers. DeeJay and I will trade you our dads and we will take yours off your hands... for the next four years. Mine really is a great guy, he can fix anything, he cooks and cleans, and I guarantee you will have the best Christmas display in your neighborhood. Just keep him away from the washer and dryer. Is it a deal?

DEAL!

Mine is a 65-yr-old 'Hugh Hefner' (with the harem but minus the bank account), he can't fix squat, can't cook or clean; plays golf & pool; and he's one heckuva stubborn azz!

 

[Calliecake]

Jenn, What we need to do is trade fathers. DeeJay and I will trade you our dads and we will take yours off your hands... for the next four years. Mine really is a great guy, he can fix anything, he cooks and cleans, and I guarantee you will have the best Christmas display in your neighborhood. Just keep him away from the washer and dryer. Is it a deal?

DEAL!

Mine is a 65-yr-old 'Hugh Hefner' (with the harem but minus the bank account), he can't fix squat, can't cook or clean; plays golf & pool; and he's one heckuva stubborn azz!

This had me LOL!!!! Ya mine has the stubborn streak too and the money situation is the same as with your dad. Mine would at least be able to fix things for you but he too thinks he is gods gift to all women. I guess there are no mirrors in his house.

 

[the_mother_thing]

This had me LOL!!!! Ya mine has the stubborn streak too and the money situation is the same as with your dad. Mine would at least be able to fix things for you but he too thinks he is gods gift to all women. I guess there are no mirrors in his house.

You sure you want to do a 'dad-swap'? You know what they say about the grass not always being greener and all ... He got so aggravated & hostile over something so stupid during his visit over Christmas that I was this close ->|<- to sending him home on the train the next morning.

The 'stupid' thing he was hostile about: whether you turn into the direction of the skid or in the opposite direction of the skid when driving and beginning to spin on snow/ice. We even happened to see two cops in a parking lot where we were, and asked them, and they disagreed with him. I thought they'd arrest him for being such a knucklehead about it.

 

[rainwood]

Most of my family and friends have similar views to mine. I don't discuss politics with people who have opposing views anymore because tempers flare, I'm not likely to change anyone's mind, and they certainly aren't going to change mine. What I now see, which is different than previous elections, is that people who voted for and continue to defend #45 have very different core values than I do.

 

[LLJsmom]

Most of my family and friends have similar views to mine. I don't discuss politics with people who have opposing views anymore because tempers flare, I'm not likely to change anyone's mind, and they certainly aren't going to change mine. What I now see, which is different than previous elections, is that people who voted for and continue to defend #45 have very different core values than I do.

Yup! Totally agree.

 

[AGBF]

This had me LOL!!!! Ya mine has the stubborn streak too and the money situation is the same as with your dad. Mine would at least be able to fix things for you but he too thinks he is gods gift to all women. I guess there are no mirrors in his house.

You sure you want to do a 'dad-swap'? You know what they say about the grass not always being greener and all ... He got so aggravated & hostile over something so stupid during his visit over Christmas that I was this close ->|<- to sending him home on the train the next morning.

The 'stupid' thing he was hostile about: whether you turn into the direction of the skid or in the opposite direction of the skid when driving and beginning to spin on snow/ice. We even happened to see two cops in a parking lot where we were, and asked them, and they disagreed with him. I thought they'd arrest him for being such a knucklehead about it.

Jenn-

Your father sounds enormously like my husband, only my husband has far-right politics. Can I enter him into the dad-swap sweepstakes? I am sure my daughter would be happy if she could trade him in! Once when we shared a driveway and the lower part was controlled by a house occupied by renters who sometimes blocked the driveway, my husband would deliberately drive up and down the driveway to make sure it wasn't "blocked". One night he called the police and got into a screaming match with the neighbors. The police threatened to arrest him! It was a good thing I was there, and could work things out with the wife. My husband also worships Rush Limbaugh. By the way, he is 66.

Deb