HELP!!!! Advice on proposal idea.....good or bad

[Elippsis007]

Hey everyone I need help....please
Here is the idea...

My girlfriend's father passed away sadly due to brain cancer about two years ago in Spain. I moved over when I heard the news I couldn't have her in Ireland at that time so we agreed that I would move over ASAP..
In October 2016 my grandmother passed away from old age. I came home for Xmas and my father pulled me aside and said will you take this and propose to Maria the ring is gorgeous! We got it professionally cleaned and it looks brand new. It's sentimental to me and my family and I think it would feel right to give it to her. Anyway just before I left for Spain my dad said to me Mike you can propose wherever you like but would you consider proposing at her father's grave....now when I say grave it's this huge tomb looking thing with beautiful marble etc. I think it's a great idea considering how much he loved her and she loved him and the unfortunate circumstances that he isn't around to see his girl live her life.....

Thoughts please.

Mike

 

[partgypsy]

I don't know what to say. It could be a moving considerate gesture, but it could also make her cry. I guess you need to go with your gut, and what you know of your gf, to know if enough time has passed it is a meaningful sweet gesture or still painful.

 

[KaeKae]

I'm going to say no.
Going to a gravesite is inherently sad, so she will be sad when you propose. Do you really want to mix that in with such a big, happy moment?
What I might suggest, is some time after you do propose, even if that's just a little while, you ask her if she'd like for you both to go to "see" her Dad, to share the news with him in person.
Of course, as part gypsy said, you do know her best and how she would react to the situation. But I'll ask you: if your father hadn't made the suggestion, would you have thought of it yourself?

 

[Jacquiemalta]

Yeah, I'd go with no too but then share the news with him afterwards. This is your and her moment and I wouldn't bring any other emotion in to the mix. It was a lovely thought of your dad's but from a woman's point of view, I wouldn't recommend it - just my opinion though of course.

 

[MattP725]

I'm going to play devils advocate here (and I realize the post is a few months old). I think if you do it in a VERY particular way it could be romantic but its going to be totally dependent on her. If I were to consider this route, it would be presented in a way where I would explain how I never got a chance to ask your fathers permission so I felt it was only right if I asked yours in his presence. The issue is, she's always going to remember it as you proposed at a cemetery.

Its funny because I think I've seen this done before in a different way. I BELIEVE there is a video proposal floating around of a man who didn't propose at her fathers grave but taped himself asking for his permission and then played it back for her (I'm sure I'm butchering it but its something to that effect). Either way its a risky move that you might not want to take.

 

[MattP725]

UPDATE: This is the story I was referencing

http://en.newsner.com/girl-s-dad-di...s-kneeling-in-front-of-his-grave/about/family