FB etiquette questions

[luv2sparkle]

Please tell me what you think about these situations. Are they rude or acceptable?

1. You make a post about something on Facebook. One of your 'friends' comment that they like your post and that they are 'stealing' it. They proceed to cut and paste it as a post (word for word) as if they had written it themselves.

2. You post a status with a photo and a comment. The photo was sent to you by a loved one. An in law post it as a status. They took it from your post and made their own status wth your photo as if it was theirs.

Yay, or nay?

Both of these things happened to me recently. I would not personally do either. I might share their status with the photo and add a comment or just comment on their photo. I would never copy something someone else wrote as if I had done it myself. But this is a new-ish world and the etiquette may be lost on me.

 

[OreoRosies86]

I'm of the mentality that once it's out there online, Facebook, wherever, it kind of becomes fair game. If you need or want credit for what you post or prefer people don't repost, you can add a caption stating such, but it would probably be best to not post at all if that's the case.

Personally if I'm going to share a post I'll at least "like" it first.

 

[momhappy]

For the first scenario, I would think a "share" might be acceptable, but not a cut and paste (as though it was their own).
In the second scenario, I'm not exactly sure how to respond. Did the in-law ask to post or just post?

 

[monarch64]

I don't know, man. It's Facebook/photos/memes, not original artwork. I've seen a method I wish was used more often (and I'd like to remember to do so myself), and that is introducing the share or post with "H/T to Jane Smith." It's a nod/gives credit to the person from whom you are "stealing" the post.

 

[luv2sparkle]

I don't need credit for something I wrote. I just thought it was strange. I would have simply shared a post I liked, not copied it straight up as If I had written it. That is what seems appropriate to me, just wondering what others thought. You are probably right Elliott. I have to confess, I have seen people post rings or photos posted elsewhere and sometimes labeled completely incorrectly and it bugs me. It doesn't bug me at all if they say 'found on pricescope' or something similar. It just seems like an honestly thing to me.

The second was a picture I posted that my daughter sent to my husband and myself. It was not sent to my daughters mother in law. The only way she got the photo was from my post. She can share my post with all her friends, (we have a huge group of the same friends), or she can save the photo for herself, I don't care. She took the photo and created her own post with it as if it was hers. Again, I am not mad about it. That is kind of just her. I just wouldn't do that. I would just share her post. I didn't tag her in it, or even my daughter. It was just a sweet photo of my grandson.

 

[OreoRosies86]

I know exactly what you mean about the telephone game of Internet pictures though.

I once owned a ring I shared on a forum before I joined PS, and it's all over Pinterest as a Leon Mege ring. I laughed so hard, but it was like... what?!

 

[House Cat]

This is why there is a "share" option. This gives credit to the original poster!

I think it's rude to steal a person's post. But what do I know? Since all of the campaigning for the election, I had to avoid Facebook for my own sanity.

 

[luv2sparkle]

I know exactly what you mean about the telephone game of Internet pictures though.

I once owned a ring I shared on a forum before I joined PS, and it's all over Pinterest as a Leon Mege ring. I laughed so hard, but it was like... what?!

Exactly! One of the rings I saw was Charmy's Michael B Paris listed as a Leon. It was a picture she posted here years ago. I feel a bit annoyed every time I see it posted again.

 

[kenny]

I've seen my FCD pics stolen and used by FCD vendors.

I gave up.

 

[the_mother_thing]

If it's a non-personal, funny joke, observation, pic, etc., I wouldn't care.

If it was something "personal" to me (a photo, original writing, etc), or somehow unique to me and the person who shared it with me, yes I would care and I would call the person out on it. And I have.

An old acquaintance I used to be FB friends with one time ripped something I wrote word-for-word that was highly unique/individual to me, and he posted it as if he had written it himself. As a former journalist, it really pissed me off. I waited a bit to see if he would correct anyone, and when he didn't, and even commented thanking them for the "applause", I commented "Where did I read this before? Oh yea, on my FB wall ... where I posted it the day before."

 

[Phoenix]

Unfortunately, it is "fair game". Once something is on the internet, people will steal it. I personally would share something generic or non-personal from someone else if I like it, this way the credit goes to the original poster. IF, however, it is something very personal to them, I'd think twice, and if I still wish to proceed, ask for the original poster's permission first.

I think it's rude and presumptuous for someone to just cut & paste someone else's post. But that's JMO.

 

[sonnyjane]

I don't need credit for something I wrote. I just thought it was strange. I would have simply shared a post I liked, not copied it straight up as If I had written it. That is what seems appropriate to me, just wondering what others thought. You are probably right Elliott. I have to confess, I have seen people post rings or photos posted elsewhere and sometimes labeled completely incorrectly and it bugs me. It doesn't bug me at all if they say 'found on pricescope' or something similar. It just seems like an honestly thing to me.

The second was a picture I posted that my daughter sent to my husband and myself. It was not sent to my daughters mother in law. The only way she got the photo was from my post. She can share my post with all her friends, (we have a huge group of the same friends), or she can save the photo for herself, I don't care. She took the photo and created her own post with it as if it was hers. Again, I am not mad about it. That is kind of just her. I just wouldn't do that. I would just share her post. I didn't tag her in it, or even my daughter. It was just a sweet photo of my grandson.

Regarding the whole issue of copying it and reposting it as opposed to sharing it, I do this often. The way security settings are, if I share something that has certain privacy settings per the original poster, it's possible that people that aren't friends with the original poster can't see it. The result is that instead of the link or text I want to share appearing, it will say "Attachment Unavailable". To avoid this, I just copy the photo/post and say something like "stole this from a friend" etc.

 

[elizabethess]

1. I think this is fairly common occurrence, to announce you want to share something, and then post it yourself. It's extra polite to ask if you can , before doing, and to give an attribution when you do it, but not always necessary, depending on the context and content of the post! Don't repost personal info. Don't pretend to be the original creator of an essay, poem or artwork.

2. When I first read your second scenario I thought it was very weird! Who would save and then repost a personal photo?? But then you gave some further context that changed my mind. If I'm understanding correctly: you posted a sweet photo of your grandson, and his other grandmother saw the photo and posted it, too. It seems like that's just grandma pride, both of you wanting to show off your loved grandchild I think this is acceptable.

 

[telephone89]

For #1, it's pretty fair game once its on the interwebs. Its weird, but I don't think its outright 'bad'.

#2, I think its SO weird, but I see this with grandparents all. the. time. I think if it was a more random person it would be inappropriate, but its just grandparents being grandparents.

If it bothers you, I think you're welcome to talk to these people about it though.

 

[rubybeth]

I don't need credit for something I wrote. I just thought it was strange. I would have simply shared a post I liked, not copied it straight up as If I had written it. That is what seems appropriate to me, just wondering what others thought. You are probably right Elliott. I have to confess, I have seen people post rings or photos posted elsewhere and sometimes labeled completely incorrectly and it bugs me. It doesn't bug me at all if they say 'found on pricescope' or something similar. It just seems like an honestly thing to me.

The second was a picture I posted that my daughter sent to my husband and myself. It was not sent to my daughters mother in law. The only way she got the photo was from my post. She can share my post with all her friends, (we have a huge group of the same friends), or she can save the photo for herself, I don't care. She took the photo and created her own post with it as if it was hers. Again, I am not mad about it. That is kind of just her. I just wouldn't do that. I would just share her post. I didn't tag her in it, or even my daughter. It was just a sweet photo of my grandson.

Ooh, boy, well, first of all, I am not sure that there really is specific "etiquette" related to Facebook. There are norms, but people break what I would consider norms all the time.

For the first one, I'd want credit if it's something I wrote. I've recently posted a few things and have written at the end "Written by ____, feel free to copy/paste to share." The reason for copying/pasting is that, due to privacy settings, oftentimes other friends of your friend can't see the shared post. If it's a public post, that's not a problem, but I don't know a lot of people who have their profiles set to public.

For the second item, I just think people don't understand tagging. It bugs me when people share my photos of them to their own profile, when they are already tagged in the photo and it's already showing up in their photos as "photos tagged of ____." Again, sharing may not work to get the post to the people who might want to see it, but if your daughter wanted people to see this photo of her, maybe she could have tagged herself and her mother in law in the photo? Then friends of anyone tagged can see it.

 

[luv2sparkle]

Thank you for your responses! I truly appreciate the different viewpoints. I am more bugged about the second issue than the first. Truth be told, there are a lot more under currents with the second one that I did not post about.

I guess I am still struggling to let it go. It's dumb and I know it. This woman has been one of my closest friends for 25+ year until our kids got together. Stuff I was able to just ignore as "just the way she is", now I struggle with. I have seen a manipulative and competitive side of her personality that I didn't pay much attention to before. She is very entitled and I have always known that. But I could walk away when she bugged me.
She tries to compete with me on every level. I am not in competition with her and don't engage. I didn't engage on this either, which is why I came here.

I needed some outside opinions. Thank you so much.

 

[sonnyjane]

Thank you for your responses! I truly appreciate the different viewpoints. I am more bugged about the second issue than the first. Truth be told, there are a lot more under currents with the second one that I did not post about.

I guess I am still struggling to let it go. It's dumb and I know it. This woman has been one of my closest friends for 25+ year until our kids got together. Stuff I was able to just ignore as "just the way she is", now I struggle with. I have seen a manipulative and competitive side of her personality that I didn't pay much attention to before. She is very entitled and I have always known that. But I could walk away when she bugged me.
She tries to compete with me on every level. I am not in competition with her and don't engage. I didn't engage on this either, which is why I came here.

I needed some outside opinions. Thank you so much.

For the second thing, I'd imagine she was hurt by the fact that you got the picture and she didn't. I don't have kids, but right now my brother in law and his wife are going through "grandparent competition" with their parents. One buys this toy, second set feels obligated to buy another toy - set one babysits for date night one week, so set two offers to babysit second week so as not to lose ground ... it's foreign to me but she's not the only one that gets competitive over this stuff.