To all the girls who selected their own e-rings...

[BrightSpot]

Are you glad you picked it out yourself/had input into the process, or does a little part of you wish you''d been surprised?

I''ve done most of the researach on my e-ring & hope to have ring in hand in a few weeks, but I''m not exactly sure how to (finally) turn the process over to my bf. (Me? Control freak?

) I think ultimately I will be glad I had a hand in the ring selection process, but there were definitely times when I felt I was doing all of the work here!

Any tips on recapturing an element of mystery & surprise about the proposal?

 

[AChiOAlumna]

I think knowing that you chose the right man, he's going to take into consideration all your hard work and research on your "dream ring." He'll want to make you happy and if you want the element of surprise, then you're going to HAVE to turn over the reigns at some point.

You trusted your instincts to become serious with your future-intended, use those instincts again to know that he'll "do good."

When we got engaged (11 years ago), we went shopping for rings together and narrowed it down to 2 differents styles that I could be happy with either one. He made the final decision (and it was a good one!) and set up the proposal all himself...I didn't know when he picked up the ring or what he decided. It was still a surprise for me and very sweet, funny and romantic when he proposed!

I haven't regretted it in 11 years..

 

[BrightSpot]

AChi....thanks for the kind, sage words & for sharing your sweet story! I think it''s a great idea to narrow it down to 2 rings/styles so that you & he are certain you''ll like what he chooses, but he''s still able to surprise you!

I think it''s a little too late for me to do that

, but perhaps I can have the finished ring shipped to my bf & maybe not see it until he pops the question?

I will have seen all of the pics of the ring in progress beforehand, but I think it would still be surprising to see the finished ring for the first time during the proposal...

Uh oh...it sounds like I''m trying to plan the proposal now too....

My poor dear bf...

 

[MelissaSue]

I''m glad I picked my own. Its my "dream ring"

 

[AChiOAlumna]

BrightSpot...since you were such an integral part of thr ring-decision process, maybe you need to discuss your concerns with your BF and let him know that you do not want to see the completed ring...leave it at that!!! That leaves him to make all the decisions from this point on and you still get the suprise you want!!

 

[BrightSpot]

Good idea, AChi! I think I''d still like to be involved in the custom design process (it''s cool!), but after that''s completed, we can put the ball squarely in his court.

 

[soulsis]

No way would I leave this delicate task in my man''s hands. Even he had mentioned that he would''ve picked something different.

I wanted an antique looking ring with a halo. He thinks they are just that...old lady looking. He wanted something very modern. I didn''t want it to look dated in 10 years. So, the jeweller suggested that we incorporate both of our ideas into a ring that had the best of both of us in it. I have seen the finished band and I couldn''t ask for a more beautiful ring. Totally the opposite of what I thought that I wanted. Dear god..he bought me diamond earrings for my birthday last year and brought home the catalogue. I picked one pair out of the whole thing. It was the one he had picked that he thought I would like, however they were out of stock. So...he made me think I had to pick a secondary pair as a sub. He said, "Oh sh%t...to think I had these ones flown in from San Francisco for you..." and pulled out the original pair that we had both liked. It was very sweet and romantic. Then he asks me...."Have I done good?" Awwwwwww.

 

[PurplePassion]

I''m new to the boards, though I''ve been lurking around for a while. This is a very interesting thread as my BF and I have ordered my ering b/c we both want me to have what I like. The ball is back in his court as only he will know when the ring and the stone he decided to go with arrives, which is good because I won''t be sitting around on pins and needles waiting for him to propose as soon as the ring arrives.

 

[icekid]

it definitely was not the original plan for me to choose my e-ring, but... it happened pretty naturally. i am the researcher of the two of us, so i''m not sure what would have happened had i left him to his own devices. part of me wishes it had been a complete surprise, but i think it''s better that i get something i ADORE considering the amount of money involved.

so i''m allowed to see the wax only, just to make sure everything looks right. after that, i won''t know when my bf gets the ring and i hope i''m clueless when he is going to propose

 

[windy1365]

I picked out my own ring. I was there beside him when we picked it out on the computer.

Yes, I missed out on the surprise, which kind of sucks. But, I did get the exact ring that I wanted.

I think a surprise would have been better - then we could have gotten my dream ring on our anniversary!

 

[MissAva]

I want both! SO and I have been looking at rings almost since we first started dating and my tastes have changed but not overly much. Not too long ago he smiled and told me in the nicest voice that I had no say whatsoever in the ring. I think I know what setting he has choosen but I dont really know. I also have no idea when it is coming. Part of me is ecited becuase I know it will be 100% him and that is appealing to me, and yet I worry that I wont like the ring. I think either way the whole get engaged thing is stressful.

 

[snow_happy]

Hello

What an exciting time! I found rings on Pricescope that I liked and showed them all to my boyfriend. He liked some and didn''t like some. I found one that we absolutely fell in love with...too bad it was 12K! (way out of our humble budget) So he took it to a trusted family jeweler and sat down with the jeweler to make something that was similar. It is unique and inspired but not a copy of the original. Although I had found the ring I continued to look at stuff on Pricescope because I didn''t know my bf went to the jeweler already. I just kept showing him rings I like because I was totally oblivious.

So although I helped find the "inspiration ring"... it turned out to be totally a surprise because he took that picture to the jeweler without me knowing. I love my ring more than the original piece!

Good luck and enjoy all the eye candy

 

[JessesGrl]

I picked my setting out and wanted my FI to choose the diamond. He called me from the jewelers panicked, made me come by to pick out the diamond too. I am glad I did, my ring is so unique and he would have NEVER picked it himself. Plus you will still be blown away when you see the diamond IN the setting ON your HAND

 

[heart prongs]

We looked at tons of rings...different settings, shapes, etc...When we came across the Mark Morrell ring that I wear now, I think we both knew it was "the one"...Somehow, my now-husband was able to surprise me...Because it was a bit more than I''m sure he planned to spend, I thought we''d get engaged around Christmas of 2003...he asked me in September of 2003! I was totally caught off-guard, and I loved it!!! klr

 

[MINE!!]

OH I AM SOOOOOO GLAD that I had my fingers in it. Literally. My FI is a wonderful man that would have gone out and spent a lrage sum of money on something that he thought I would like. I admit that he probably would have done an excellent job, yet, I am so excited that I was able to help with it. I was able to choose something that pointed out OUR originality, OUR love and OUR ''differences''.....

Ok Let me explaint that... FI and I very different people. My family is more traditional, his is more... contemporary. He do not share the same politics, the same taste in music or movies, or opinions in food. Instead we share our love for each other and we compliment each other. When we started this project we were looking for something .. traditional... You know, diamond solitare... then we wanted something a little more bling... pave perhaps.... I had never thought of doing anything ''different''

Needless to say that I fell in love with my spess... totally contrary to the traditional aspect of my personality. So we did the diamonds and the spess.... and like our relationship... we took two things that people would question was a good compliment to each other and developed a piece or art... 2 differences, combined to make one great.. just like we are... soo different but a beautiful combination.

But I have no regrets at all that I was involoved in the process. I loved it... And because we shared the experience it was quite romantic when he ''gave'' it to me.

Hope this helps.

 

[northstar_78]

I''m glad you posted this! I too ''picked'' out my e-ring for several reasons. My bf isn''t as obsessed with sparkly things as I am, his schedule is different and he''s not as comfortable popping in to see different diamond vendors as I am. A while ago I narrowed it down to two different rings but the problem was that these two rings were one of a kind; one was a light yellow OEC and the setting was more common while the other was a custom setting and a ideal round brilliant...and he was feeling pressured about it. So I thought about what I really wanted and what mattered the most to me was that it came from him and it was something I''d luv to wear forever! I ended up picking out a great simple yet different solitaire setting and picking a list of beautiful round brilliant AGS Ideals to go with it.

This way there is still the element of surprise; I don''t know which stone it will be BUT my ideas are still in the picture.

Yes I do feel that the work has been primarily in my corner but I''m glad it has been because I can devote more time to this search then he can.

 

[treysar]

I think i had the best of both worlds - he picked the stone and proposed with a soiataire and said i could pick whatever setting i wanted - i really liked this, because i was suprised, yet i still got ot pick what i wanted!

 

[northstar_78]

Oh I like that idea...but I''d hate to change it once it was on my finger! Hehe!

 

[jlc0604]

Brightspot -

I''m in a similar situation as you. I''ve spent a lot of time learning about diamonds, researching things, and picking out exactly what ring I wanted. I''ve given him guidelines on the setting that I want, where to order it from, reputable vendors and how to choose a quality center stone. A little overboard, but I have much more free time than him to research these things and I didn''t want him to spend so much money and not get what he was paying for. In the end, he was thankful that I expedited his learning process. We''ve visited a couple of vendors now and looked at stones online, so I feel comfortable that he has all the information he needs to make a good choice. Now it''s all up to him.

I know exactly what my ring will look like, although I''ve never actually seen the ring in person. My boyfriend didn''t mind that I picked out what I wanted, but he does want the proposal to be somewhat of a surprise. So at this point I know he''s looking and ready to buy - and that he''ll probably propose in the next few months. But all I can do is sit back and wait.

I don''t feel any regret at all about picking out my ring. I''m a control freak, like you, and I feel much more comfortable knowing that he''s getting something that I love and will enjoy wearing. And since I don''t know exactly when he''ll buy it and propose, it will be a surprise. I personally think the whole surprise thing is overrated - for me anyway. All I care about is getting engaged, but I know he wants a special surprise proposal so that''s fine too. Now that my part of the process is done, I''m trying to just relax and forget about the whole thing. Of course, easier said than done!

 

[royalasschergirl]

JLC0604, i think we are the same person! tee hee!! I was reading your post thinking, i don''t have to change much, i can just quote your reply!!

My boyfriend and i had this conversation early on - he started talking rings and engagement, and i asked him straight out, do you want me to be involved in the process, or do you want it to be a total surprise, i will be content either way! So he said he wanted me to do some research and figure out what type of diamond i wanted, and he would take it from there. That was the initial idea, but once i was involved, i got pretty involved, and he was very glad for it. We ended up going with a 2.63 Royal Asscher, but it was an ordeal to find one in that size with the specs he wanted -- so i pretty much needed to be involved to arrange for the stone, drive 4 hours to go see it, etc. And with a R.A., we both wanted to decide by seeing it in person if it was worth the premium -- and once we saw it we knew it definitely was, so i''m glad i was there for that. As for the setting, i saw what the setting will look like, but i never saw my stone in the setting, and my boyfriend and I decided we are each going to have a tiny ruby put on the inside of the band to symbolize each other''s hearts. So i haven''t fully seen my stone in my setting, but i definitely know about what it will look like.

As for the surprise element, he is adament about that -- so we picked out the stone and setting together in January, and he let me know he put a deposit down and that''s what i''d be getting -- and then he said put it out of your mind, and i don''t want to hear about it and don''t ask me about it! YEAH RIGHT!!! I''ve been pretty good, but i do still ask about it more than i should! But its been 5 months now, and i can tell you i will be surprised when i see it, because i think i remember exactly what it looks like, but i guarantee i won''t remember everything because i don''t have a picture!! Given the fact that we have a wedding date picked out of April 2006, i know it must be coming within the next few months!

For us, it was the right decision -- especially when we would go to jewelers and they would bring out trays of settings and he''d get very overwhelmed. The biggest thing was when he chose a setting that looked gorgeous in the tray but absolutely horrible on my hand! He''d go, "oh, that looks terrible on you, i''m so glad i don''t have to do this on my own!!" I can totally see it both ways, and it is a personal decision -- for us, it was a very large purchase, and i intend to wear it for the rest of my life! I don''t plan to upgrade, and it really is my dream ring. The fact that we discussed it early on made it a pretty simple decision, and i wouldn''t change a thing! I get to marry the man of my dreams, get the ring of my dreams, and still be surprised with a proposal long after we chose the ring! Whoo hoo, i''m a lucky girl!!

PS -- I''d be totally lying if i said the waiting isn''t killing me though!!

 

[kanne]

He picked the stone and we picked the setting together. We have so many "ring" stories and met some great people along the way. I would not have changed a thing.

 

[BrightSpot]

Wow--thanks to everyone for sharing your stories & feelings about the ring selection process!

MelissaSue & snowhappy, it sounds like you got the best of both worlds--input into the design, but a surprise proposal! (and stunning rings!

) It sounds like the boys have been fully initiated into the wonderful world of PS!

JessesGrl, that''s so cute that your FI called you to come help him pick out the diamond! It must be really meaningful to know that you guys decided on it together. Also, thanks for the reassurance that I''ll still be blown away when I see the completed piece on my finger!

Soulis, the story of the diamond earrings is adorable! I''m sure he''s done good with the e-ring too--I can''t wait to see it!
PurplePassion--welcome to PS!

I think that''s a good idea to put the ball back in your bf''s court. I can''t wait to see the ring pics after he surprises you with a proposal! It''s nice that you don''t have a sense of a timeframe for the proposal--I think it would be difficult knowing he had the ring, but not knowing when he was going to propose.

Windy, I think it''s worth it to get the exact e-ring that you want. I don''t think that prevents you from getting a dream ring on your anniversary too...

Matatora, first of all, I love your pooch! So adorable! I think your bf is definitely up to something!

I''m sure your bf has a good idea of what you want & will choose a beautiful ring for you. I can''t wait to see it! The waiting definitely sucks, though and, for such an exciting time, it is pretty stressful too. Wait until we start planning weddings...

Heart prongs--that''s wonderful that both you & your hubbie knew your ring was "the one." (it''s quite beautiful & unique!) How sweet that he surprised you several months earlier than expected!

Mine--what a wonderful, touching post about the symbolism of your e-ring to you & your FI. I think we can all agree that it''s just a breathtaking ring, but it makes it even more special to know how the design of your ring reflects the nature of your relationship.

Northstar--I certainly know what you mean about the bf not being as obsessed with sparkly things! I think you''ve made a great choice for the final decision--you got to select the basic style & provide him w/ some choices you''d be happy with for the final stone, but the finished product (and stone choice) will be a surprise to you.

Treysar, it does sound like you had the best of both worlds. You certainly did a fabulous job picking the amazing setting for your gorgeous diamond!

jlc0604, it certainly seems easy to go just a little overboard when there''s so much beautiful eye-candy here on PS!

I think it''s worth it to help the boy out & know you''ll be happy with the final ring. What''s your ring going to look like, btw? (did I miss it?) LOL re: the surprise thing being overrated. Good luck relaxing & forgetting about the whole thing! I hope the proposal is girl soon & can''t wait to see the ring!

royalasschergirl, wow--I can''t wait to see your ring! 2.63 ct royal asscher? It''s gonna be a stunner!

That''s a really sweet idea about the rubies on the inside of the band! That''s a good point that some settings are beautiful to look at, but just not flattering to wear. With a wedding date of 4/06, your proposal must be coming soon!

Speaking of asschers, lovely, I just adore your ring! It''s one of my favorites.

That''s wonderful that you & your fi were able enjoy the ring selection together.



As for me, my bf was thinking of proposing around our 1st anniversary in October. He spoke with a friend of his to ask if he should pick out the ring himself or ask me to help. His friend said that I''d have to wear the ring for the rest of my life so it should be something I loved. So we''d been talking about it seriously since December.

Like northstar & jlc0604, I have much more time to research ring-related stuff than bf does & I tend to be more of a researcher than he is anyway. I''ve seen so many beautiful things on PS that I think I''ve changed my mind about what I wanted at least a dozen times. I think my poor bf just wanted me to make a decision so he could propose!

He''s joked that, judging by how obsessed I''ve become with ring details, he''s going to have to plan the wedding!

Initially, our tastes in jewelry were very different. He tended to go for unique handmade designs, but wasn''t too concerned what materials they were made of. He also tends to think that bigger stones are too flashy/tacky. (I''m working on re-educating him...

) I, on the other hand, was concerned mostly with the quality, type, and size of stones, and less concerned with something that would look unique. Initially, I was worried that our tastes would clash, but it''s actually been a really great experience learning about each other''s perspectives. We''ve been able to incoporate both of our ideas into a final ring design we both love.

So, we''re starting the process of having a ring custom made (we already have the center stone) & I''m trying to figure out to what extent I want to be involved in the process.

Icekid, I think that''s a good idea that you get to see the wax to make sure everything is correct & to your specifications, but don''t get to see the final product until he proposes. I''m thinking of having my involvement stop after I''ve seen the wax or after I''ve seen the final pics of the ring. (i.e. having the first time I see the actual finished product be when he proposes.) Do you think I''ll be able to tell sufficiently that the ring is "right" by the wax? I''m working with Quest to create the custom ring & they have a 14-day return period. If I don''t see the final ring until bf proposes & he waits more than 14 days from receipt of the ring, what if something''s wrong w/ it that needs to be fixed?

 

[Croí]

all of these are such great stories.
I got my proposal without a ring so I got to play my part. To be honest it was never my biggest priority (due to many factors, including a ''sour'' taste over diamonds from before in my life) and marrying my hubby was the biggest and best thing. He used PS to learn about the stones and found a jeweler through here and got my diamond without I ever knowing a thing. I ADORE IT - it''s a 0.5 ''E'' round brilliant and the sparkliest thing. When I finally got to see it I used to beg him to take it out every evening and I could play with it (literally) for ages, regular light, sunlight, flashlight with background lights on, flashlight in a dark room. I was like a maniac !! For a girl who didn''t care about having a diamond !!! too funny !
Once I fell in love with the stone I was DYING to wear it. I really wanted a three-prong setting ( I had loved Mark Morrell''s three-prong) but wanted something more ''flat'' and simple with an etching that holds significance for me. I got to do the pics of what I wanted and meet the jeweler and they set about doing a test model. In the meantime we chose our wedding bands, nice big white and yellow gold celtic knots, so I was able to bring one of those to the designer doing my e-ring and he made my e-ring the same thickness so both would lie flush.
I ADORE my rings, both of them. I got exactly what I wanted and wouldn''t change a thing.
Whatever happens for you girls that are still waiting, whether you had input or not, you WILL be blown away and will be happier than you could ever imagine.

 

[BrightSpot]

Croi,

That''s so funny--I can just imagine you playing with your new diamond!

It''s so beautiful & your lovely, unique matching wedding bands compliment your e-ring perfectly! (both you & your DH have great hands too!)

 

[Croí]

Brightspot !!

THANKS ! I still play with it, only now it''s in my ring !



I LOVE my hubby''s hands. They are big paws of hands and I love how my hand is dwarfed when held in his - I particularly enjoy this because I don''t have little dainty hands at all, they are quite pudgy, but next to his they are petite and cute ! (my wedding band is size 7.5 and e-ring 7.25 - not small !)

Thanks though, I love them and love wearing them and am really happy we got the same bands too. I love that they match, even if mine seems smaller - at 7.5 heheh! - as his is a 12.5


C

 

[NoonersMom]

Brightspot...I was in a situation similar to yours. I did all of the research, picked out my center diamond, got quotes for the custom work, sent pictures for the setting and approved the wax. I only wanted to be involved up to that point. However, given WF''s return policy, fiance wanted me to approve final picture. I also organized appraiser as I am a research hound & was previously an appraiser in a different field. While I knew all of this was going on and when the appraiser was finished with the ring, I never knew when or how fiance was to receive ring. One last thought....As JessesGirl stated, you will be blown away by the final product. The pictures just don''t do it justice!!! So there will still be an element of surprise, just not a total surprise if he would of taken the reiigns at the beginning of the process. Thank your lucky stars BF let you be involved & enjoy all of the moments along the way. Can''t wait to hear updates!

 

[velouriaL]

I did everything except sign the check... oh wait... I *did* sign the check, but it was more like I have a more flexible daytime schedule so he transfered funds into our joint account online and then sent me to the bank to get a cashier''s check, yaddayadda... I got him to approve (and from time to time, veto) my choices, but I was definitely the active party on this project.

BUT, the final ring will be sent to his mother''s house, and I will not see it (except in pictures) until he gives it to me. He''s promised a big surprise of a proposal, though, so I''m excited....!

 

[lauriem226]

I did all the research and I picked out my stone and my setting at the jeweler''s with DBF present. DBF put down a deposit last Friday and that''s where I am dropped out of the loop.

He will pay the balance when he picks up the ring and I have no idea when that will be. He will not tell me when he plans on picking up the ring or proposing, so this will all be a surprise to me. Honestly, he could have it now and I''d have no idea.

I''m really glad that I got to pick out EXACTLY what I wanted since I will be the one wearing it (DBF felt the same way - it would be too much pressure for him) but I''m also glad that aside from selecting the ring, I have no idea about what else is going on. I can''t wait to be surprised when he gives it to me!

 

[elepri]

I did all the research too and we picked out the stone together. Well I picked it out and he agreed I picked the setting too. Actually i gave him two options but it was clear i was leaning towards one so no surprises there. Once it was ordered though, it was out of my hands, i had no idea when he got it, he competely threw me off making it sound that it would take a lot longer that it did. So when he popped the question, the proposal itself was a complete surprise. I have absolutely no regrets about chosing the ring, l love it.

 

[Matata]

I''ve told this tale before, but FI thought a new pair of hiking boots was an appropriate symbol to mark our engagement. In his defense, that''s where his expertise is -- outdoor gear -- because backpacking and hiking are his favorite activities. He knows nothing about gems -- couldn''t tell a diamond from bug spit to save his life. The first ring he bought me was a sapphire and when I asked him if he knew what it was he said "yeah, it''s blue"

. Soooooooooooo, there was no way I was going to send this hapless soul out on his own to purchase an engagement ring. He was perfectly happy to sign the checks and I was perfectly happy to choose the stone and design the setting.