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Running Away...

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njc

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Anyone else getting teased about running away?

We had our engagement party this weekend and practicly everyone came up to me and asked if i was planning on running away a la Jennifer Wilbanks. FI said he was taking donations for my bus ticket!
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I feel sorry for her, the families and most of all her poor groom! I hope all will be able to work out whatever it was that made her run away. I cant imagine 600 guests and 28 attendants... makes me feel my 250 guest/9 attendants wedding is crazy small!
 

IrishEyes

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You know, I kind of feel for her too. I don''t know all the specifics, but did she make out a fake description of the pretend "kidnapper", or just say she was abducted and give no descriptions?? If she didn''t describe anybody (therefore putting an innocent civilian in questioning), I don''t think criminal charges should be put against her. Yeah, she made a town look for her, and yeah, she had her family and friends worried. But you know what, she got scared. Premeditated or not, that is not against the law. Now if she said " yeah, a guy that was 5''10", 200 pounds, etc, etc" that would be a problem.

She definitely needs psychological help. Obviously there are some issues there. But I think that pushing her into the court system and putting charges and jail time in front of her is the last thing she needs right now, and would not be conducive to hep attaining help.

My opinion anyway.....
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elephant

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She didn''t totally describe someone -- she said that a hispanic male and white female abducted her in a blue van. The police noticed right away that her story seemed to have holes in it, so after a couple of hours of questioning, she finally broke down and told the truth. I don''t think that any innocent people were in danger...? I just feel awful for her and her fiance and their families. They all must be so devastated....

On a more logical note: I haven''t started looking for reception places yet(so I don''t know the protocal), but do you think that the reception hall made them still pay for the reception? Or would it just be a nonrefundable deposit?
 

IrishEyes

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Hmm, good question about the hall. I don''t know, they probably made them pay for it anyway, especially with the amount of people that were supposed to attend ( around 600 or something like that!). I didn''t have a reception hall when I got married, so I don''t know exactly how it works.

I''m glad she didn''t outright describe anyone, but to say " a hispanic male and white female" , well......
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In any case, It''s good that she''s ok, instead of one of those horrible stories like Laci Peterson, etc. I feel for her family, as well as her.
 

njc

Brilliant_Rock
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If they press charges it will be filing a false police report. This is because she said she was abducted and there is evidence that she bought the ticket like a week prior to leaving. If she had said she freaked out/just had to get away/anything but abducted, i dont think they would be considering pressing charges. Its just the law. If you had said someone stole your car and you called the police, but really you ditched it in an alley, you would be charged with filing a false report.

As for the reception... They definatly lost the deposits. I dont know if they would charge the balance though. I guess they would. They had a contract saying they would deliver the services, and its not their fault the wedding didnt happen.
 

widget

Ideal_Rock
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I feel really sorry for her, the families, etc...and the press is going to have a field day with this...

Elephant''s question did get me thinking...I know there is such a thing as "event insurance" to protect the hosts from loss in case of last minute cancellation. I wonder...I know life insurance policies won''t pay out in the event of suicide...do event policies cover cancellations caused by cold feet? Curious..

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jlc0604

Rough_Rock
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Date: 5/2/2005 12:17
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7 PM
Author: IrishEyes

Yeah, she made a town look for her, and yeah, she had her family and friends worried. But you know what, she got scared.
I have to disagree here. It''s one thing to have cold feet, pack a bag, and leave a note saying you need some time to think. She just disappeared. Her fiance thought she went out for a run, and never came home. She didn''t have her keys, wallet, money, or credit cards with her. If my fiance vanished like that without a trace, my first thoughts wouldn''t be ''he has cold feet''. I''d think he was dead. Most of the time women vanish while running, without any of their belongings, they don''t come home alive. She had to know that her fiance and family were sitting at home for days thinking she was dead. Being scared is no excuse for putting people you love through that. Not to mention the wasted time, resources, etc. spent looking for her.

It''s such a strange story, and SOOOOOO outrageous that I tend to think she must have some serious mental illness. It''s just too inconceivable for a person in their right mind to do something so selfish and thoughtless.

I think charges should be filed. She lied to police about being abducted, and wasted everyone''s time. That''s a crime. I don''t see any reason she should be let off the hook for what she did. If she was mentally ill, then her sentencing will reflect that. At worst she''d probably get some community service, which I think she owes to her town. People need to know when they break the law, there are consequences. Even if you come from an affluent family.
 

bar01

Brilliant_Rock
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This is how she deals with stress? If I were the Groom I would be worried about this woman I was about to marry.She does need some real professional help.


I can imagine it now – about four years after they get married. The two year old is tearing up the house, the new born baby has been screaming for an hour, dinner is burning, and she turns to him and says “Honey... You know what? I think I will go for a little run….”
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lmurden

Ideal_Rock
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I''m sorry but I don''t feel sorry for her at all.
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The police are now saying that they think all of this was premeditated. What kind of 32 year old woman is she? Why would she put her family and fiance through this? Why would she say it was a Hispanic man and white woman? It seems a little racist to me.
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As far as I am concerned she is incredible selfish and infantile.
 

blueroses

Ideal_Rock
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Not to excuse anything she did--because I think it''s totally bizarre and kind of indefensible to put your loved ones through such torture (there must be some mental illness/distress for sure)--but I believe the seemingly random (some thought even racist) description of a Latino man and White woman is actually based on an real couple she met/befriended who took the Vegas-NM leg of the bus trip with her. So they were fresh in her memory or whatever?

Needless to say, I think a 28-member bridal party and 600 guests is an insane amount of stress, and the bridal industry is a pressure cooker, BUT....it''s just a horrible situation and I feel terrible for her family and fiance.

OH...and I was in a wedding whose reception took place at the Atlanta Athletic Club last year (the gorgeous red bridesmaid dress for any LIW that remember it) and I would be VERY surprised if they DIDN''T charge for almost everything anyway...can you imagine the money they would have lost with all those preparations? My friend''s reception was around 300 guests (which I thought was huge) and it was just an enormous undertaking. That''s part of the whole intrigue of this sad situation--the SCALE of it!!!
 

MissAva

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She cost the police about 100,000$ day in their search efforts and manpower. I think she ought to pay restatiution to the city and state. She basically just stole a quater millions dollars from the state of Georgia....
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NoonersMom

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I''m with BlueRoses on this one. The cost to the city is one thing, *but* the emotional turmoil that the families & friends went through is an entirely different subject! If you are going to split, at least let someone know that you need some time & space to think. How could she possibly think that *no* one would be concerned about her? I don''t know what the family dynamics are, but there has to be someone she could of let know that she was ok.

Yes, it was premeditated....she bought the ticket, stashed some $$ and cut her hair.

ETA.....Groom still wants to marry her. He "made his commitment the day he proposed".
 

elephant

Shiny_Rock
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You know, I know this sounds stupid, but I do sort of think there is an incredible lesson here.... (Of COURSE, tell SOMEONE before you just take off....) But, look at her fiance, I mean, she bolted and he's on national TV saying that he still loves her and that the wedding will go on and she obviously needs help and he's going to get it for her. WOW. I mean, we're not talking about a minor flaw here.... This woman just disappeared and totally humiliated this man on TV. That right there is a an amazing demonstration of love and "for better or worse...." I mean, how often does your SO just bug you because of that one little thing they do and you think to yourself: I can't handle [whatever] anymore. This guy has taken a lot more than just a little annoying habit....

But, perhaps I'm just sentimental....
 

MissAva

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Elephant you are too cute! I was just thinking that Sean Hannity called this one the day it happened....but he was the only one. Now his qoute is all over the other news shows. He he.
 

njc

Brilliant_Rock
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I heard on the radio this morning on my way to work that this wasnt the first time she had gotten cold feet. It happened with her and another man. If i were her, id be embarassed by this...

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teebee

Brilliant_Rock
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Okay... I have to add something to this... I know I''m overreacting but... agh!! This just set me off!!

When they were reporting on the news that this whole thing was a huge elaborate cold feet case I was muttering about it and asked my FI if he''d seen this story. He said yes and that Bob (his mom''s husband) said that if I did that he''d sue...

I was like? HUH? Sue me? WTF??? Bob''s not paying for any of this wedding and hasn''t offered!!! Sue me for what a$$hole?!?! Uh... gee, last I checked I was the only one to have paid anything towards this wedding? Yep, checked again, just me ~ me, the one without a job, in school and living off of student loans; me, the one who used the last bit of the proceeds from selling her house to pay for wedding vendor deposits, that me!!!! So Bob''s going to sue me for what?!?!?!

Okay... whew... I feel better now... Sorry, I know I''m having a bridezilla moment or something and it was just a flippant comment by a crude pot-smoking alcoholic 60-year-old burnout... But it seriously pissed me off... I know it doesn''t even matter because I''m just not a freak-out cold feet kind of person... deep breath...
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Back to the real story: I honestly believe that this girl, despite any of her problems, still needs to be held accountable for how her obsenely insensitive actions affected her family and her town''s resources.
 

njc

Brilliant_Rock
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Teebee - i think it would have set me off too... what IS he going to sue you for? False advertisement--he was invited to a wedding and is upset he didnt get his free meal/drink/whatever?
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Blue824

Brilliant_Rock
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Dec 15, 2004
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Ahhh...the American mentality that you can sue for everything/anything. Gotta love it.

Sorry he said that. That would''ve made me mad!

As for Ms. Wilbanks....I don''t know how far I''d go in prosecuting, but she should definitely be held responsible for her actions. This was premeditated, she totally knew what she was doing. And the fact that she waited so long because she didn''t know people were looking for her, I think is a total lie! Hello, she cut her hair so no one would recognize her. How would they recognize her in New Mexico if her face wasnt plastered all over the papers & TV? Anyway, maybe she thought this wasn''t going to become a national story and that scared her, but still, she should''ve come forward adn not lied! Or even simpler would''ve been to let your best friend know what was up and it would''ve avoided ALL of this! She obviously had some issues & got in over her head.
 

MissAva

Ideal_Rock
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I just feel like she needs some time in a quiet place. The state of Ga has lost money that could have gone to alot of other things.
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teebee

Brilliant_Rock
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Heehee... thanks ladies, I knew you all would sympathize with my little fit of frustration!! My screaming "Sue for what? So far I''m the only one paying for this damn thing!!!" didn''t seem to have much of an impact on FI...
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Maybe he thinks he would sue for the cost of their plane tickets from Ohio... whatever...
 

fire&ice

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Date: 5/2/2005 4:19:18 PM
Author: lmurden
I''m sorry but I don''t feel sorry for her at all.
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The police are now saying that they think all of this was premeditated. What kind of 32 year old woman is she? Why would she put her family and fiance through this? Why would she say it was a Hispanic man and white woman? It seems a little racist to me.
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As far as I am concerned she is incredible selfish and infantile.
I completely agree. This whole thing makes me furious. Didn''t she think what she would be putting her family through? So selfish.
 

kanne

Brilliant_Rock
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Nov 17, 2004
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There HAS to be more to this story than what they are reporting. It just doesn''t make sense!! It is a terrible situation all the way around. But at least she will get the help she needs..and he will not be marrying a crazy girl.
 

blueroses

Ideal_Rock
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I agree Lovey! Something is very off here. I''m not much of a conspiracy theorist, but my 2nd thought after the fiance''s statement yesterday about still wanting to marry her (the 1st one was "aw, what a helluva guy") was HMMM, what is HE so eager to hide/prevent coming out?
 

windy1365

Shiny_Rock
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Her wedding was the same weekend as mine. I was getting married in Georgia, as well. I have brown hair and dark eyes. A lot of his incoming family actually did think it was me for a short period of time. When I got back to work, one of the ladies thought it was me for a short time b/c her husband had gave her all the details about it except for the girl''s name.
 

icekid

Ideal_Rock
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windy! how was your wedding???
 

windy1365

Shiny_Rock
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Here is a picture on the wedding day. It stopped raining long enough for us to get married outside and take pictures. Everything was perfect. The food...especially the cake, was delicious.

The honeymoon was very nice. We went to St. Thomas, but we really loved St. John when we visited there. The beaches were beautiful!!

Wedding day rev1.jpg
 

Erin

Ideal_Rock
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Awwwwwww, you look so beautiful and I love your flowers. Congratulations Mrs. Windy!
 

MissAva

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Congrats Miss Windy! appl:]
 

blueroses

Ideal_Rock
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I agree w/ Erin--your roses are stunning and your hubby looks so happy!
 

windy1365

Shiny_Rock
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Thank you!! We had a great time!! Everything went perfect except our limo got in a wreck on the way to get us...we had to ride to the hotel in a big truck...I thought it was kind of funny, though.
 
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