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Can a best man be a best girl?

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goldenringlets

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We''re getting married in June, and my fiance''s brother cannot be bothered to show up for the wedding. This essentially leaves him without a best man. His dearest and oldest friend in the world is a woman. What do you think about a best man that''s a woman? That''s make him the only man in site (what with my bride''s maids (2)). And, more importantly, what would she wear?

Thanks.
 

windy1365

Shiny_Rock
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Yes, it can be okay... but I don''t know how it will work. You probably wouldn''t want this girl to walk beside your bridesmaid.

What about his dad being the best man. Or, do you have a brother or a guy friend that can be the best man? Then, just make this girl friend of his a bridesmaid.
 

innerkitten

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i agree I think it can work.
 

innerkitten

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Well the best man or best lady don''t have to walk out with the maid of honor anyway. I was a maid of honor and didn''t walk out with the best man. I walked out with the flower girls, and the best man walked out from the side that the groom came out on.
 

icekid

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i was, and still am i guess, considering having some guy friends in my wedding. i generally tend to get along better with guys than girls! my best friend from college is male, and he stood up for another female friend of his last summer (yes, he is gay
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). but anyway, it''s YOUR wedding. do what you want!
 

bstraszheim

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At my sister and brother in law''s wedding, his "best man" was infact a lady. The maid of honour wore burgundy, the bride''s maids wore hunter green and she wore navy. I don''t know when she came out, she just stood next to my BIL. It worked out just fine and if that is his choice, then so be it! I don''t understand standing on some outdated tradition when something better would work for them.

Best of luck for the wedding!

Bridget
 

goldenringlets

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Thanks for all the great advice. I think it''ll be fine to have her as the "best person" -- I''ll just make sure her outfit isnt'' more girly than the bridesmaid''s....
 

Momoftwo

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I was at at wedding 15 years ago where the "maid" of honor was a guy. He was her friend for years before she met her husband. It was definitely different, but no one really made a big deal out of it. My only issue with referring to a person of the opposite sex as your best friend is that your fiance/spouse should be your best friend. But, I don''t see it as a big deal. The best man and maid of honor are just standing up with the couple as witnesses.
 

doxiemom

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My sister stood up on the side of our male cousin, I guess she was a grooms woman. She wore a simple but elegant black dress to blend in with the other guys tuxedos. The bridesmaids wore light blue. I think it is perfectly exceptable. Pick the people (person) you most care about and who cares about you to stand with you.
 

tlmd

Rough_Rock
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My Fiance is having his sister as his "best man" I''m just going to have her wear the same dress as the bridesmaids only in black. that way she will blend in nicely with the other groomsmen and everything will flow.
 

aljdewey

Ideal_Rock
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My husband''s sister was his "best man" or "groom''s attendant". We decided she would wear either a black dress similar to my MOH''s dress, or she could wear a tuxedo dress (like the one pictured below - that''s an Alfred Angelo dress #6441). She preferred the way the black dress looked, so she went with that.

It was the best thing we could have done.....she was honored, he was thrilled, and there was NO ONE else he would have rather had stand up with him.
She stood with him up front at the beginning of the ceremony, and she walked out behind my MOH after the ceremony.



tuxedo dress.jpg
 

Gale

Shiny_Rock
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That sounds like it was really nice Aljdewey. That tuxedo dress is great.
 

aljdewey

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Date: 4/6/2005 5:12:58 PM
Author: Gale
That sounds like it was really nice Aljdewey.
You know, it was really, really nice.

His family lives about 90 minutes away from us. We had an informal BBQ as a a rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding at my friend''s house. Because our wedding was so small (29 including us!), we had almost everyone come to the rehearsal dinner too. We started around 4
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0 p.m., and the last of us straggled out around 10.

My husband''s sister stayed with him at our place that night, while I stayed in a local hotel with my MOH. Rich hasn''t been able to spend that kind of one-on-one time with his sister in years, and it was really a special time for them. Plus, he didn''t end up spending the night before the wedding sitting alone. Too many times, people lose focus on the groom in the "bride flurry".
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She took him to breakfast in the morning, and helped him with his tie/cufflinks, etc, and she rode with him to the park where we married. She was by his side for everything.

We literally could not have made a better choice. She did far more to support him than anyone else would have. I love her to bits!
 

fountainfairfax

Brilliant_Rock
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All my life I''ve had close male friends and while its been wonderful to see some of them get married not once was I invited to be in any of their weddings..I would''ve been very proud and honored to have done so! and considering some of the sh-t I''ve seen a few of them few I certainly earned it!
 

Jennifer5973

Ideal_Rock
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Oct 18, 2003
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Weddings are about you two, your love and committment, and the people who love you, like your fiance''s best friend. It will work fine.
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Kaleigh

Super_Ideal_Rock
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I agree with Jennifer, I think it will be just fine. It''s about those that love you and sharing your special day with loved ones. This has become a lot more common these days, so no worry!!
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Gale

Shiny_Rock
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Aljdewey - reading your post about your husband and his sister brought tears to my eyes. It''s too bad more people don''t do the things they really want to do for their wedding instead of sticking to some set of rules that does not keep pace with the times. I know parental pressure can play a large part in these decisions, but it really should be easier for people to have the wedding of their dreams.
 

aljdewey

Ideal_Rock
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Date: 4/7/2005 12:57:39 PM
Author: Gale
Aljdewey - reading your post about your husband and his sister brought tears to my eyes. It''s too bad more people don''t do the things they really want to do for their wedding instead of sticking to some set of rules that does not keep pace with the times. I know parental pressure can play a large part in these decisions, but it really should be easier for people to have the wedding of their dreams.
Thanks, Gale.....yeah, it is unfortunate how much pressure brides/grooms get from MANY sources about their wedding. Weddings have become such an "industry" that I think people forget at times what it''s really all about.

I''ve seen hysterical posts from people who thought they were going to be branded uncouth if they didn''t do a chocolate fountain or personalized tissue packets at their wedding. Crazy! I firmly agree that it should be a special day with special touches, but it disappoints me to see the real meaning of the day get lost while angsting over details.

The details should be like a fine wine that complements a dinner.....it doesn''t overpower or up-stage the dinner, it just brings out all the wonderful qualities of the dinner.

I honestly think that most folks really need to be gentle but firm about keeping true to THEIR OWN visions of their weddings, and that''s something within their control.
 

dietvanillacoke

Rough_Rock
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Nov 2, 2004
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at one friend''s wedding i saw something done that i thought was really, really cool. first off the women were all wearing very simple, navy satin dresses and the men were all wearing black tuxes with silver vests/ties. this is how they were standing, on each side:

bride
MOH (female)
bride''s brother (male)
BM (female)
bride''s friend (male)

groom
best man (male)
groom''s sister (female)
groomsman (male)
groom''s friend (female)

and they all walked out with the respective people opposite them.

i thought it looked awesome! and made so much more sense to have their own siblings stand with them instead of with their future sibling in law.

just another option. honestly it''s your wedding.. do whatever you want!! as long as it''s meaningful to you nothing else matters.
 
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