HOUMedGal
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Jan 13, 2005
- Messages
- 1,832
Scout: First off, I''d like to say that I respect your coming and asking for advice from folks who have "been there and done that."
I''m afraid I''m going to offer the same kind of advice that the others have...I think it would be best if you waited on the engagement. Here''s why.
I dated a guy for a year and a half when I was in high school...started dating when I was 14, broke up with him when I was 16. The next serious relationship I had began when I was 18 and about to head off to college. Believe it or not, even though we were doing the long-distance thing, and he was still in high school while I had started college, our relationship lasted for 2 years. But at around that point, I had a sudden realization:
I had changed soooooooooooo much during those 2 years of college.
I had begun to know who I really was, the "real me" had started to blossom in an environment where I was away from my family, away from my old friends, and away from all the things I had grown up with, that dictated who I was. I started to realize what kind of person I was becoming, what I wanted, what I didn''t want, what was most important to me in life and love. And it was VERY different than what was important to me at age 16.
Then, when I met the man I''m with now, the man I''m going to be engaged to this summer and marry 2.5 years from now, I realized that he was everything I knew I wanted and everything I never knew I wanted. Plus, at this point, we are both mature enough, with enough life experience, to be able to think through big decisions like engagement.
Oh, and about the promise ring thing: my boyfriend gave me a promise ring last summer, and it meant almost as much to me as an engagement ring!! Being "engaged to be engaged" is great, and during the time I''ve been wearing the promise ring, we''ve been able to grow together even more and realize that we truly do mean it when we say we want to be together forever.
I guess what I''m trying to say is that at 16, even though you may be a mature 16, you still have some growing to do. I considered myself to be a very mature teenager, as did adults who knew me, but I had no idea of all the changing that I was yet to go through. The sheer amount of life experience you have, simply by virture of the number of years you''ve spent on this earth, has so much to do with your level of maturity.
So here''s my advice: try to be patient and give it a little longer before you get engaged. Make SURE, without a doubt, that this is a rest-of-your-life kind of thing. And in the meantime, give her a promise ring on Valentine''s Day!! This will let her know just how serious you are about your relationship, yet still give you a little "growing room" if you need it.
No matter what you do, I wish you the best of luck.
I''m afraid I''m going to offer the same kind of advice that the others have...I think it would be best if you waited on the engagement. Here''s why.
I dated a guy for a year and a half when I was in high school...started dating when I was 14, broke up with him when I was 16. The next serious relationship I had began when I was 18 and about to head off to college. Believe it or not, even though we were doing the long-distance thing, and he was still in high school while I had started college, our relationship lasted for 2 years. But at around that point, I had a sudden realization:
I had changed soooooooooooo much during those 2 years of college.
I had begun to know who I really was, the "real me" had started to blossom in an environment where I was away from my family, away from my old friends, and away from all the things I had grown up with, that dictated who I was. I started to realize what kind of person I was becoming, what I wanted, what I didn''t want, what was most important to me in life and love. And it was VERY different than what was important to me at age 16.
Then, when I met the man I''m with now, the man I''m going to be engaged to this summer and marry 2.5 years from now, I realized that he was everything I knew I wanted and everything I never knew I wanted. Plus, at this point, we are both mature enough, with enough life experience, to be able to think through big decisions like engagement.
Oh, and about the promise ring thing: my boyfriend gave me a promise ring last summer, and it meant almost as much to me as an engagement ring!! Being "engaged to be engaged" is great, and during the time I''ve been wearing the promise ring, we''ve been able to grow together even more and realize that we truly do mean it when we say we want to be together forever.
I guess what I''m trying to say is that at 16, even though you may be a mature 16, you still have some growing to do. I considered myself to be a very mature teenager, as did adults who knew me, but I had no idea of all the changing that I was yet to go through. The sheer amount of life experience you have, simply by virture of the number of years you''ve spent on this earth, has so much to do with your level of maturity.
So here''s my advice: try to be patient and give it a little longer before you get engaged. Make SURE, without a doubt, that this is a rest-of-your-life kind of thing. And in the meantime, give her a promise ring on Valentine''s Day!! This will let her know just how serious you are about your relationship, yet still give you a little "growing room" if you need it.
No matter what you do, I wish you the best of luck.
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