when your jewelry preferences don't match your social circle

[MichelleCarmen]

Re: when your jewelry preferences don't match your social ci

I think you have gotten some sage advice here so I will just add in my two cents. I will not spend my life forming to what others think I should say or do. Life is short so if you heart's desire is a 9mm OEC then I say do it. What would be more upsetting. Getting it and worrying about other's reactions or not getting it and constantly thinking about it.

Yup, I can't really fathom not getting something you want and can afford just because other people won't understand it. Haters gonna hate. Don't care.

ETA I should add that my e-ring is the biggest of anyone in my family or friends, and I did get a few slightly judgmental comments from them when I first got it. I just asked them if they were jealous, which seemed to shut them right up.

Now I'm upgrading to an even bigger diamond, and if they have something to say about either a. the fact that I'm upgrading or b. that it's even bigger, so be it. I'll happily ask them if they're jealous once again.

Oh and another thing-I don't discuss my purchases with people, so I bet many won't even notice.

They may or may not notice, but might not pay close attention. FWIW, I wore my diamond pendant and a relative asked me about it and I explained that it was the diamond from my mom's eng. ring that I had made into pendant. At another function, the same person asked me about it AGAIN! She didn't even remember that she had already known/asked about it! ETA - and, I've had this pendant for years...I actually went for a long time w/out wearing it to family events because one relative rolled her eyes at me. I'm NOT a flashy jewelry person and I am self conscious, so this made me not want to wear it. Now, I do wear it and everyone looks but never says anything. It is ridiculous too b/c the diamond is only .38. lol

 

[movie zombie]

Re: when your jewelry preferences don't match your social ci

yep, haters going to hate.
so wear what you want.

 

[Autumnovember]

Re: when your jewelry preferences don't match your social ci

yep, haters going to hate.
so wear what you want.

AMEN to THIS.

Life is seriously way too short to worry about what others are going to think.

You want a big diamond? Buy the big diamond, wear it in good healthy, and be happy. Thats it. How others choose to react is their own problem, not yours.

 

[yennyfire]

Re: when your jewelry preferences don't match your social ci

I could have written your post (other than being towards the crunchy end of the spectrum ). I am fairly frugal in most areas of my life, but I love bling. After my original ering was lost, we replaced it with a 3.5ct cushion with 1.0ct trap side stones. It was a lovely ring, but I just wasn't comfortable wearing it. I traded "down" to a smaller stone (still hefty at 2.83ct.) and have been ecstactically happy ever since. What I'm saying is that you know yourself best. If you can't have the attitude that what anyone else thinks doesn't matter and their judgement (even if it's only your perception of their being judgemental) is going to diminish your pleasure in your bling, don't do it.

That's my .02 for whatever it's worth.

 

[Laila619]

Re: when your jewelry preferences don't match your social ci

If you'll be too self-conscious to enjoy it, then don't buy it.

If you will wear it and not care what others think, then buy it!

 

[AmeliaG]

Re: when your jewelry preferences don't match your social ci

I just re read your first post and unless I'm reading it wrong, it looks like a big diamond does match your social circle but not your family. Hopefully, you spend more time with your social circle than your family, so why don't you wear the diamond around your social circle and not around your family?

I know the purists would say you should feel comfortable wearing it in any situation and in front of anybody, but really, if you're not going to be spending a lot of time with your family, I think the simplest thing to do is just not to wear it around them. You'll still have a lot of opportunity to wear and enjoy the ring more often in front of the people who appreciate it.

 

[MissGotRocks]

Re: when your jewelry preferences don't match your social ci

I have a much larger diamond than most of the people I know. Why? Because I love diamonds! Most of these people would not focus time and money on diamonds because they really don't mean that much to them. They do to me so I have what I can have and wear it without shame or reservation. I don't worry about feeling like I am flaunting them because I'm not - I wear them solely for my own personal pleasure. Most people that know me well understand and know this about me. There are choices and trade offs in life - we all make them. Wear what you want and don't worry about answering to others. That's a never ending game be it a house, a car, jewelry - whatever. Where would you ever draw the line if you start living your life in that vein?

 

[Sakuracherry]

Re: when your jewelry preferences don't match your social ci

My husband and I are in our mid-twenties and still in college. I have the biggest diamond in my social circle, but I don't care! It's uncommon to have a big diamond in my culture, but I don't care about it, either! We have no debt and paid cash for my ring. My mother-in-law did not look happy when I showed her my new ring, but my husband told me not too worry about her reaction. I believe that one should always do what s/he want to do as long as her/his action does not hurt or bother other people.

 

[AGBF]

Re: when your jewelry preferences don't match your social ci

Am I the only person on Pricescope struggling to buy a bigger diamond? It seems like a bizarre question for a place where we are always talking about DSS (diamond shrinkage synndrome). However, I get the impression from this thread that everyone else can afford a diamond of the size the she wants!

The funny thing is that in the past I was one of the people who could afford a diamond of the size I wanted...because I didn't want a stone as large as the one I want now. But the stone I want now is still quite petite compared to some of the stones mentioned just in this thread, and I am selling all my other diamonds and colored stone rings in an attempt to save enough money to buy it!

I am interested in buying a 3 carat round brilliant, but since I want a D color VS clarity ideal cut, I am going to have to sell everything else (diamond and colored stone wise) I have to afford to buy it!

Deb/AGBF

 

[VRBeauty]

Re: when your jewelry preferences don't match your social ci

There will be a time in your life where this isn't an issue, say about 20 years. But by then the price of the diamond you want, with inflation, may be out of reach. If you can afford it now, go for it and who cares what anyone else thinks. Age (hopefully) brings wisdom. Be yourself!

This. Except that it probably won't take twenty years, and as MC pointed out, part of that time will roll by as you're saving for your big buy. You will outgrow your concern about what your family thinks about your hobby AKA jewelry, especially since it's something you're saving for and can afford without impacting your financial security. And if you're still a bit not sure when you have that money saved up? I'd buy the diamond anyway, and get it set, and wear it on special occasions until your self-confidence grows into it. If it does "languish in a drawer" you can always sell it later.

 

[nala]

Re: when your jewelry preferences don't match your social ci

Welcome to my world. I can def. share some insight. I work with very modest teachers who probably have a lot to say about my jewelry, but then I realize that I have a lot to say about their choices--their choices to have a lot of kids, to not work summer school, to spend thousands on pet care, etc. The point is that at the end of the day, we all have our opinions, but the beauty is that most people just keep these to themselves. And if they don't, they are not worth worrying about.
As for family....my family is completely clueless bc they have no knowledge of the actual cost of diamonds, so they never seem to notice or judge...which is fine by me.

 

[omieluv]

Re: when your jewelry preferences don't match your social ci

People who judge others for what they have are just compensating for what they don't have.

Just the other day a "friend" of mine noticed I had a new phone and said "didn't you and your FI just buy a house? how can you afford a new phone?" To that, I promptly replied "well, we purposely bought a house that was well under our budget, to avoid being house poor." It was none of her business how I can afford a new phone or my finances as a whole. So whether it is a blingy ring, a house, car, or even a new cell phone, it's not going to matter - haters are going to hate. Haters are not very happy people, so all you can do is make yourself happy, which they will hate you for anyway

 

[junebug17]

Re: when your jewelry preferences don't match your social ci

Life is too short - get what you want and wear it wherever you feel comfortable - sounds like family is the issue, so just don't wear it around them - eventually you'll get used to it being on your hand and you'll reach a point where you'll say the heck with this and start wearing it around them lol. You have a few years, chances are you'll feel differently by then anyway.

 

[monarch64]

Re: when your jewelry preferences don't match your social ci

Am I the only person on Pricescope struggling to buy a bigger diamond? It seems like a bizarre question for a place where we are always talking about DSS (diamond shrinkage synndrome). However, I get the impression from this thread that everyone else can afford a diamond of the size the she wants!

The funny thing is that in the past I was one of the people who could afford a diamond of the size I wanted...because I didn't want a stone as large as the one I want now. But the stone I want now is still quite petite compared to some of the stones mentioned just in this thread, and I am selling all my other diamonds and colored stone rings in an attempt to save enough money to buy it!

I am interested in buying a 3 carat round brilliant, but since I want a D color VS clarity ideal cut, I am going to have to sell everything else (diamond and colored stone wise) I have to afford to buy it!

Deb/AGBF

Oh, Deb I don't think you're alone! It seems as if most have the means to afford larger stones, but I'll speak for myself and say that we aren't in the position and probably won't be for years. We're in the "foundation-laying" phase of life right now, and hope to have the means to purchase a few luxury items, possibly including a larger diamond, in the somewhat distant future.

Just you hang onto your gold, and your charm bracelet!

 

[Cehrabehra]

Re: when your jewelry preferences don't match your social ci

Just wear it. I embrace my incongruencies. Bling and Birkenstocks are my staples!

 

[AGBF]

Re: when your jewelry preferences don't match your social ci

Am I the only person on Pricescope struggling to buy a bigger diamond? It seems like a bizarre question for a place where we are always talking about DSS (diamond shrinkage synndrome). However, I get the impression from this thread that everyone else can afford a diamond of the size the she wants!

The funny thing is that in the past I was one of the people who could afford a diamond of the size I wanted...because I didn't want a stone as large as the one I want now. But the stone I want now is still quite petite compared to some of the stones mentioned just in this thread, and I am selling all my other diamonds and colored stone rings in an attempt to save enough money to buy it!

I am interested in buying a 3 carat round brilliant, but since I want a D color VS clarity ideal cut, I am going to have to sell everything else (diamond and colored stone wise) I have to afford to buy it!

Oh, Deb I don't think you're alone! It seems as if most have the means to afford larger stones, but I'll speak for myself and say that we aren't in the position and probably won't be for years. We're in the "foundation-laying" phase of life right now, and hope to have the means to purchase a few luxury items, possibly including a larger diamond, in the somewhat distant future.

Just you hang onto your gold, and your charm bracelet!

Thanks, Monnie! I always know I can count on you. I also know that in the real world there are lots of people who are just the way I was when I first got engaged-young and poor-also people who are not so young and poor! I have held onto my gold jewelry (including my set of 24K gold bangles). In fact I left off my charm bracelet to have a charm added on Saturday. (I had bought it eons ago but never bothered to have it soldered on.) And I am gleefully wearing my dangling Buccellati gold earrings right now with my new, very short, red haircut! I'm not giving up all jewelry...just the stones that might raise some cash!

Deb