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Early Onset Dementia

Echidna

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Haven|1342749672|3236988 said:
It's a difficult balance because I want to help my father if he is sick, but I have to protect myself and my growing family, too. He is very hurtful, and I constantly go back and forth thinking about whether I want him in my life. It always comes down to this belief (instinct?) I have that he cannot help himself. He really believes his lies. He really believes that whole situation happened with the A/C guy. It's hard for me to turn my back on him when I believe he's not doing these things on purpose. But maybe he's just that good, and I'm a sucker. Who knows?!

Haven, I've been sitting here reading tensely but I'd like to respond to the above. As an eldest/responsible/local/financially stable child, I have been dealing with some issues with my parents (nothing to the extent of yours, but some addictive behaviour and financial instability), who are the same age as your dad. Here are some thoughts:

1. I could NOT manage without the help of my siblings. One of them is here and one lives in NYC, but we are a team. Get your sisters involved in this- you do not have to do it alone. They may provide support to you instead of your dad, allow/encourage/help you to enforce strong boundaries, take some of the burden, manage your mum instead- all kinds of assistance. Let them help. It has brought us all closer together.

2. Someone on PS once posted an addiction/help-giving model where the first step is the acknowledgement. Unfortunately we cannot help anyone until they acknowledge they have a problem. My mantra now is, "I love you very much, and I'm worried about X. I'll be here for you if/when that concerns you too". Focus on where your dad is (denial!) rather than where you are at (diagnosis/treatment options).

3. Whether your dad's behaviour is deliberate or not, it will still have an impact on your growing family. I think you are incredibly wise to consider how much exposure you want to have, given Point 2. I say this particularly because he is willing to take loans out in your name. You are in NO WAY abandoning your dad; you are working within his present limitations (i.e., lack of desire to see a medical professional). I have a wonderful, understanding DH just like you, but my brother has asked me to stop doing certain things for our parent because he feels it will adversely impact my marriage. I was fairly confident that it wouldn't, but I have taken his advice because my baby family comes first.

Just some thoughts. Much dust and hugs for you.
 

Kaleigh

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Keep us posted. Hoping you get the support you need. We are here for you. :))
 

Dancing Fire

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Haven,hope you find some answer soon..hugs :))
 

VRBeauty

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Haven - I'm very sorry to read of the difficulties you're having with your father. I want to throw one other possibility out there -hydrocephalus, more commonly known as "water on the brain." Its symptoms can mimic dementia. Many years ago a friend's mother was exhibiting a lot of forgetfulness and irrational thought processes, and this is what it turned out to be. In her case surgery to implant some sort of shunt provided some relief, though her mother is now in her 80's and is also dealing with what appears to be dementia.

In any event, some sort of medical diagnosis is important... and I know that getting your father to agree to that is probably going to be difficult. Hugs to you...
 

pinkjewel

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diamondseeker2006|1342743519|3236926 said:
Well, I'll jump out on a limb and suggest that this could be mental illness and not primarily dementia. The years of strange behavior and lying seem to go back a long time, so I am not sure you can blame all the current issues on dementia. You mentioned him mixing up words a few years ago...any chance of drug/alcohol abuse or something like that? Did that stop?

And I'd have a talk with my mom about having contact with him. The help with the AC didn't work out very well.

My Dad had dementia for years before he was diagnosed with Alzheimers and he just wasn't like your father at all. I am not sure he could have created such elaborate lies.

I'm going to agree with diamondseeker. My father also had Alzheimers and his symptoms are nothing like you're describing. At first there was the forgetfulness, forgetting words or forgetting to eat, later progressing to thinking he saw bugs everywhere, packing a suitcase constantly, seeing faces looking in the windows at him, not being able to speak a sentence, etc. I could go on and on- but none of it is like what you've described.

I would think either brain tumor or mental illness. The problem will be getting him to a neurologist. We would take my Dad in the car and not really tell him where we were going until we got to the office-it was the only way we could get him there. I'm so sorry about your situation.
 

packrat

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HIPPA laws are really strict on needing permission to talk to other people about a patient..there is a form tho that he could sign stating that you and the Dr. can talk-if you could get him to sign that, it would save some of the dancing around the rules. Otherwise, I'd definitely try to find out who he Dr's with and just make an appt for a consult to voice your concerns. That gives the Dr. a bit of a heads up on looking for signs next time he comes in, and the Dr. might have some suggestions on things you could do or where you could go for other help. (The only ones I know of are Aging Services and DHS)
 

rubybeth

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Haven|1342739151|3236891 said:
Thank you, Maria.

That is a really interesting point, and you might be on to something there. He is extremely socially awkward, though we've always believed he doesn't realize it but maybe he does.

He's always been "bad at life" as some would say--He can't really get his act together, can't complete what seem like very simple tasks to most people.

Oh, Haven, *hugs.* The way you describe this above, it sounds like social anxiety and/or ADHD. Lying to cover up for these wouldn't be uncommon.

My mother has recently been mixing up more words and facts than she has in the past, so I asked my sister about it when she was staying at home on her summer break. She said she would give my mom a cognitive assessment (she's a speech/language pathologist) that would pick up on any major deficiencies. She gave me the assessment first, so I could see what it was like. I got a perfect score, and our mom was one answer away from potential issues, though I don't know if she was taking it seriously or just going along with it to humor us. I could ask my sister for the name of the assessment and you could administer it to your dad as a kind of 'brain teaser.'

Edited to add: it's called the Mini Mental State Exam, and I found a link to it in PDF form here (you administer it verbally, except you give the person a writing utensil and paper for some of the questions): http://www.getnhp.com/PDFs/ProviderPDF/Provider_Manual/Appendix/Tab%2013%20Mini%20Mental%20State.pdf
 

iLander

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Haven said:
I don't know what he is, but I'll look up sociopath and see what that's all about.

Here's a profile of a sociopath. I hope that by understanding what it is, giving it a name, you and your family can have an easier time with it. It's a mental illness. Not a lot you can do, but it least it you know what it is now. There's no question in my mind that this is what you father has had for his whole life.

Profile of the Sociopath

Glibness and Superficial Charm

Manipulative and Conning
They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.

Grandiose Sense of Self
Feels entitled to certain things as "their right."

Pathological Lying
Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests.

Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.

Shallow Emotions
When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.

Incapacity for Love

Need for Stimulation
Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common.

Callousness/Lack of Empathy
Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them.

Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others.

Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency
Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet "gets by" by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc.

Irresponsibility/Unreliability
Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.

Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity
Promiscuity and sexual acting out of all sorts.

Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle
Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively.

Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility
Changes their image as needed to avoid prosecution. Changes life story readily.
Other Related Qualities:

Contemptuous of those who seek to understand them
Does not perceive that anything is wrong with them
Authoritarian
Secretive
Paranoid
Only rarely in difficulty with the law, but seeks out situations where their tyrannical behavior will be tolerated, condoned, or admired
Conventional appearance
Goal of enslavement of their victim(s)
Exercises despotic control over every aspect of the victim's life
Has an emotional need to justify their crimes and therefore needs their victim's affirmation (respect, gratitude and love)
Ultimate goal is the creation of a willing victim
Incapable of real human attachment to another
Unable to feel remorse or guilt
Extreme narcissism and grandiose
May state readily that their goal is to rule the world

(The above traits are based on the psychopathy checklists of H. Cleckley and R. Hare.)

NOTE: In the 1830's this disorder was called "moral insanity." By 1900 it was changed to "psychopathic personality." More recently it has been termed "antisocial personality disorder" in the DSM-III and DSM-IV. Some critics have complained that, in the attempt to rely only on 'objective' criteria, the DSM has broadened the concept to include too many individuals. The APD category includes people who commit illegal, immoral or self-serving acts for a variety of reasons and are not necessarily psychopaths.

DSM-IV Definition

Antisocial personality disorder is characterized by a lack of regard for the moral or legal standards in the local culture. There is a marked inability to get along with others or abide by societal rules. Individuals with this disorder are sometimes called psychopaths or sociopaths.

Diagnostic Criteria (DSM-IV)

1. Since the age of fifteen there has been a disregard for and violation of the right's of others, those right's considered normal by the local culture, as indicated by at least three of the following:
A. Repeated acts that could lead to arrest.
B. Conning for pleasure or profit, repeated lying, or the use of aliases.
C. Failure to plan ahead or being impulsive.
D. Repeated assaults on others.
E. Reckless when it comes to their or others safety.
F. Poor work behavior or failure to honor financial obligations.
G. Rationalizing the pain they inflict on others.

2. At least eighteen years in age.

3. Evidence of a Conduct Disorder, with its onset before the age of fifteen.

4. Symptoms not due to another mental disorder.

Antisocial Personality Disorder Overview (Written by Derek Wood, RN, BSN, PhD Candidate)

Antisocial Personality Disorder results in what is commonly known as a Sociopath. The criteria for this disorder require an ongoing disregard for the rights of others, since the age of 15 years. Some examples of this disregard are reckless disregard for the safety of themselves or others, failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors, deceitfulness such as repeated lying or deceit for personal profit or pleasure, and lack of remorse for actions that hurt other people in any way. Additionally, they must have evidenced a Conduct Disorder before the age of 15 years, and must be at least 18 years old to receive this diagnosis.

People with this disorder appear to be charming at times, and make relationships, but to them, these are relationships in name only. They are ended whenever necessary or when it suits them, and the relationships are without depth or meaning, including marriages. They seem to have an innate ability to find the weakness in people, and are ready to use these weaknesses to their own ends through deceit, manipulation, or intimidation, and gain pleasure from doing so.

They appear to be incapable of any true emotions, from love to shame to guilt. They are quick to anger, but just as quick to let it go, without holding grudges. No matter what emotion they state they have, it has no bearing on their future actions or attitudes.

They rarely are able to have jobs that last for any length of time, as they become easily bored, instead needing constant change. They live for the moment, forgetting the past, and not planning the future, not thinking ahead what consequences their actions will have. They want immediate rewards and gratification.
 

iheartscience

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Hmmm, I don't know that the symptoms Haven has described really fit with the profile you posted, iLander. But since I'm not a mental health professional and haven't met Haven's father, I suppose I don't really know either.
 

iLander

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thing2of2 said:
Hmmm, I don't know that the symptoms Haven has described really fit with the profile you posted, iLander. But since I'm not a mental health professional and haven't met Haven's father, I suppose I don't really know either.

I agree, I don't think all of that applies to Haven's father at all. I don't think he would meet the diagnostic criteria, which are for extreme levels of the disease.

Haven is a kind and generous person to keep trying and caring so much for her dad. It's a tough road, and my heart goes out to her. 8)
 

Jennifer W

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Haven, I really hesitated to post here, because this is such a difficult topic for you, and my views, for what they are worth, are perhaps at odds with many of the others here. So, if you don't find this helpful, disregard it. I don't want to stamp in with big clumsy feet here, but I would like to offer a slightly different perspective on potential mental health issues like this, based on what I have learned from working in the NHS here.

At present your father is a competent adult, and a young-ish adult at that. His lifestyle choices are his to make, he can choose to tell the truth about a situation or to hide the truth (and he may have reasons for that which no one else would fathom). More significantly, the decision to seek assessment and treatment, or to choose not to do so lies entirely with him. If he doesn't want you to be part of that decision, that is his right. He has an absolute right to privacy in medical matters, even from his children. Perhaps especially from his children. From what you have written, there is no evidence that he currently lacks capacity, and so any and all choices about health and lifestyle are still only his to make. If you have concerns for his immediate safety at any point, obviously that situation changes, but until then, you have to respect his wishes (and find a way to make sure that any negative effects arising from those wishes are his and not yours to bear).

I understand that you want to offer help, support and love and that you want to protect him from harm, but at this stage, even if he is suffering from a specific disorder (and I wouldn't speculate about this, because I don't know him or what his norm actually is) there is no action here that lies within your hands.

I'd say that while of course you want to help him if he's sick, you can't force him to accept help or even to determine whether or not he is sick. All you can do is set your own boundaries and make sure his choices don't impact too far on your own wellbeing.

I hope you can find peace with this situation, and that it isn't having too much of an impact on your own happiness.

eta I hope this doesn't come over as lacking in compassion. It certainly isn't meant to, I really do feel for you, Haven.
 

smitcompton

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Hi Haven,

My first job out of school was as an administrative assistant to a Vice President of a Big Corporation.(not a Sec.)
We would hold staff meetings with Dept heads and other various company personnel that he needed to interact with. He was 56. He & I traveled together to branches of the company , went to dinner, conferences etc. Everything was good

Six months later he began to call meetings every day to discuss the same thing we discussed the previous day. Soon everyone on staff noticed it and we just didn't know what to do. He was looking for another promotion but the behavior got weirder and weirder.
After months of this we had to go to his boss to let him know. His Boss was wonderful about it. His forgetfulness was something the company decided to overlook. They just gave him less responsibility. It seemed to help him. I think that was the early onset of Alzheimers. Ileft soon after so don't know the complete story.but that was an experience.

I don't think you are around your father enough to make this determination. I would be concerned about his vitamin intake and I agree with ILander that the B vitamins are very important for good brain function. His lie shows me he can still think and is probably getting back at your mother .I don't think he forgot. He didn't want to do it in the first place. His lies are nothing new. He needs a good checkup, that shouldn't be that frightening to him.

He exshibits some unusual behavior, but really Haven, don't get all upset. its bad for your baby and you. This is the time to be at ease with the world. Buy him the B vitiamins, please include B12, and take him for a checkup.

Sorry for your worries.

Annette
 

decodelighted

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I hope that article wasn't too much to handle last night. I regretted posting it soon after but it was too late. I'll say that our story hasn't so far been quite as tough as that family's gone through. So please don't be discouraged.

Re: the most recent lie. He just didn't want to do it. As usual. No surprise. I suspect that your fears etc are coming to a head somewhat because of the hormones going on inside YOU. You're feeling a need to get things in your world all tidied up for the coming babino but please, please, please don't stress yourself out about this or force a "crisis" at a time you're ill equipped to handle it. Calmly seeking allies in your sisters ... exploring options ... all great as long as they don't impact your main focus on your growing family.
 

zoebartlett

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I'm sorry to hear about this, Haven. I can imagine how hard dealing with your dad must be when he's acting out, so to speak.

I'd suggest talking to a mental health or medical professional about this, as well as reaching out to other family members for help.
 

soocool

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Haven, so sorry that you are going through this.Hope your dad seeks the help he desperately needs.

My sister and I thought my dad was exhibiting signs of dementia. When we asked his doctor if he could check him by giving him the test for dementia my dad went ballistic. He was borderline, but the doctor sat him down and told him that he has 2 loving daughters who wanted him around for a long time (dad is nearing his mid 80s) and dad then told the doctor to do whatever tests he needed to do. Turns out my dad's levels of B12 and D were extremely low. It took about 6 months, but what an incredible difference.

My girlfriend's mother had to be placed in a nursing home (again older- 90 years old) because one day she wondered into the street with a kitchen knife claiming that there were people in the house robbing her. Of course there weren't Because she had shown she could be a threat to herself or others it was not difficult to have evaluated then while for years she said no and her daughter could not do anything about it.
 

marym

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Haven,

I'm sorry that I haven't read the entire thread, but I just wanted to chime in with my experience with dementia. My father has early onset dementia that began in his late fifties. His is a rare form called FTD (frontotemporal lobe dementia-probable Pick's subtype) This type of dementia hits early and affects the frontal lobe initially, eventually moving to the temporal lobes. It mainly affects reasoning, judgement and insight. I don't think my father was capable of articulating to anyone that he was having problems with things. He just started acting more and more bizarre. He went from being a quiet, reserved man to talking non-stop. The earliest symptom I noticed (had NO idea it was dementia at the time) was that he was frequently repeating himself. He would tell the same story over and over and over again. He also was exhibiting obsessive compulsive tendencies, such as switching lights on and off, pacing the hallway, etc. He started spending money compulsively, and would hoard random items. He began having problems with his job, and was eventually laid off. We had no idea for the longest time what was wrong with him. At first I thought he was having some kind of late mid life crisis. It was like he had been abducted by aliens and came back a totally different person.

It wasn't until he came over one day to help me assemble a bed frame I had purchased from Ikea that I suspected possible dementia. He couldn't understand the directions and kept putting things together incorrectly. This is a man who was formerly and engineer and would have never had problems with something like that. I urged my mother to take him to the doctor, who incorrectly diagnosed him as having had a stroke. He gave us no other help/explanation and of course my dad's behavior just continued to get more and more bizarre. My mom was ready to divorce him.

Finally we got him to a neurologist who confirmed that he did in fact have FTD. My mom has been caring for him at home for the last seven years and we finally placed him in a nursing home the beginning of this month when he fell and broke his hip.

If it hasn't been suggested already, I would try to get him in to see a neurologist. There are many many types of dementia which all present with different symptoms. It took so long for us to get a diagnosis. It honestly has been terrible- like living a nightmare. I sincerely hope that your father doesn't have this devastating illness. We were absolutely shocked at the lack of support from healthcare professionals. It's like they just deal you this horrible blow and then send you on your merry way to deal with it. Best of luck to you and your family.
 

House Cat

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iLander|1342798843|3237223 said:
thing2of2 said:
Hmmm, I don't know that the symptoms Haven has described really fit with the profile you posted, iLander. But since I'm not a mental health professional and haven't met Haven's father, I suppose I don't really know either.

I agree, I don't think all of that applies to Haven's father at all. I don't think he would meet the diagnostic criteria, which are for extreme levels of the disease.

Haven is a kind and generous person to keep trying and caring so much for her dad. It's a tough road, and my heart goes out to her. 8)
I'd like to add that I think it is dangerous to diagnose people from things read on the internet. I think it is best to leave this job up to professionals. "Sociopath" is a VERY serious diagnosis.
 

iLander

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Haven! :wavey:

Please come back to the thread. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings!

What do I know? I'm just spouting out stuff, trying to be helpful, and just being a dork instead.

House Cat is right, I have no idea what I'm doing or saying.

Please come back. :(sad
 

Haven

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I'm here. Sorry. I've been sorting out my thoughts and feelings about all of this and don't want to post more until I have a better idea of what I'm thinking.

I've read everyone's posts and have taken them all to heart. Nobody hurt my feelings at all, so no worries iLander! :wavey: It's quite the opposite--this thread has really helped me view all of this in a very different way. It's just been difficult for me to sort out what I want to say, so I'm going to wait until I have a shot of being somewhat coherent.

I no longer believe my father may have early onset dementia, but I do believe he may have a mental illness. Jennifer's post (among others) really helped me come to terms with my real motives for wanting to get my father some help, and it's brought me a lot of clarification. Everyone's posts have been really wonderful. I am so grateful for PS. I'm just still working through my thoughts about all of this so as you can see I'm at that stage of thought where everything that comes out is just a rambling mess.

I'll be back. I can't tell you all how much I appreciate your participation in this thread. Thank you.
 

rainwood

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Haven -

I wasn't going to share this, but given your last post, I wanted to add a little more about my mother.

Several years after my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, I felt strongly that she would benefit from a change in a variety of things, from having a medical alert bracelet to adult day care to moving into assisted living to how her husband interacted with her. He didn't seem to understand that the path ahead was going to get worse and that there were things we could now to make things better later. My mother remarried later in life (after retirement) to a man who is difficult to get along with and who doesn''t want help or suggestions from anyone. We differ in almost every way, from political viewpoint to how to deal with people. Not surprisingly, our relationship was okay but not great, and we've had a few run-ins. He, however, was good at taking care of my mother generally, if not always understanding how she was changing because of her disease and what she might need now or in the future.

I went into full-blown problem-solving mode, getting books to read and doing research. I felt I owed it to my mother that she get the best care possible, and I was frustrated that I couldn't get her husband to take the steps she'd benefit from. It finally came to a head and we had a big, nasty fight about it. I thought he wasn't taking good care of my mom and he thought I was trying to control their lives. It was awful. I decided I had to take a step back for the sake of my own sanity and because I wasn't accomplishing anything anyway.

Shortly thereafter, I read a newspaper article from a columnist who specialized in senior issues. She basically said what Jennifer said. People have the right to make decisions about their own lives, even if they are destructive ones, so long as the only people they are harming are themselves, and so long as they are mentally competent. When I read that article, something seemed to click for me. Although my mother isn't competent now, she was when she got married and gave her husband the right to make decisions about her. I had to reduce the amount of time I spent with them until I could get to the point of being okay with a lack of control.

Accepting that I couldn't fix things for my mom was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, but I'm glad I did. It's certainly better for my mental health, and because I backed off and tried to be supportive, my mom's husband is more willing to accept my suggestions, ask for help on certain things, and use me as a sounding board about her care. We never would have gotten to that place if I hadn't stepped away and let things sort of happen.

I still think my mom's life should be different than it is, but I also understand that she loves and relies on her husband, that he's a central part of her life, and if that means they just barely muddle through, then that's the way it is. He bears the brunt of her care and I can't swoop in whenever I disagree with the decisions he makes and expect to improve the situation.

My guess is that you need to get to a similar place with your father, to understand that stepping back for awhile may be the best thing. It's so hard to do, it seems unfeeling and ungrateful and being a bad daughter, but it's not. It's just reality. We can't fix everything, no matter how much we want to.
 

Haven

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Rainwood--You articulated exactly what it is that I'm dealing with right now. Thank you so much for sharing your story. It really, really resonates with me and what I'm currently working through. Thank you.

I was at a family event last night with both of my parents, and I had the PSers' wisdom and stories rolling around my head the entire time. You all have given me so much to think about, and dare I say--a bit of a moment of clarity. I'll be back once that moment turns into some solid reflections.

Again, thank you so much everyone.
 

iLander

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Haven|1342978928|3238180 said:
I'm here. Sorry. I've been sorting out my thoughts and feelings about all of this and don't want to post more until I have a better idea of what I'm thinking.

I've read everyone's posts and have taken them all to heart. Nobody hurt my feelings at all, so no worries iLander! :wavey:

Oh thank goodness!! :appl:

Take your time, Haven, we'll be here when you're ready.
 

alene

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Haven, saw your post and wanted to chime in as a professional, with expertise in just that, diagnosing dementia and other cognitive problems (I'm a neuropsychologist). First, please try not jump to any diagnostic conclusions based on others' experiences. Dementia is not a single entity, it's a pretty diverse group of conditions with different symptoms and different manifestations. What are typical early symptoms for Alzheimer's Disease is not the same for vascular dementia or fronto-temporal dementia, etc. While for some, memory problems may be the first prominent signs, for others the so-called personality changes (related to frontal lobe pathology) become obvious long before memory deficits become apparent. Second, whether or not your father has mental illness has little relevance to whether or not he has dementia. Antisocial personality disorder, depression, anxiety, or just about any other DSM diagnosis does not protect one from developing neurological problems leading to dementia; it's not either or. As for what would be most useful course of action, I think if you can somehow get him to get a comprehensive evaluation, it would answer a lot of the questions. Ideally, he needs to see a neurologist, get neuroimaging (MRI, etc) and see a neuropsychologist for a comprehensive evaluation (really, the only way to determine if he actually has dementia). That would be ideal, but on a personal note, I know that it can be incredibly hard and sometimes just impossible to convince someone to go see a doctor, let alone several, especially when they believe there's nothing wrong with them. I wasn't able to do it for my own father, who clearly was showing signs of cognitive decline but didn't want to hear about it, until it was too late. It's really hard, knowing something is wrong and feeling helpless to do anything about it. I do hope you have a lot of support to get you through this. Many hugs.
 

Andelain

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 10, 2010
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3,524
Haven, I got nothing except some dust to send you. And a few hugs.
 
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