Cancer, the Sandbox, and Me

[Vera W]

Dearest Andelain,

Thank you for so bravely sharing your cancer story and current situation. I am sorry I missed the other post but as you know I don't get on here too much. Please know that I am continually praying for you to get the best possible results and manageable treatment and of course for complete healing and recovery. You are one heck of a gal and I know that your future will only grow brighter and stronger once you finish KICKING that cancers boo-ta-ta. (I would love to use the swear word but we are in public here. )

You have been such a dear friend to encourage me with my brother's illness and extended hospital stay. Thanks so much for that, I have no doubt that your good will, will be returned to you in many fold. I am expecting wonderful healing for you in due time.

Sending you BIG HUGS from Texas and all of us at WF!!

 

[tyty333]

My heart sank when I saw the title to your thread . I have missed your post and I'm glad you are back. Let us
keep you company while you get through this thing. Cancer aint what it used to be (thank god).

 

[AGBF]

Hi, Andelain-

It is good to see you again. Now the job is just to see you get back to your fit self! Like so many others here, I believe you will make it. I also know that battling cancer is not easy and that you can use all the friends you can get...so I hope that you continue to update this thread! Many other Pricescopers have had threads of their own. I hope you will keep this one and use it for support as you continue treatment so that we may sustain you in your struggle!

You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Deb/AGBF

 

[diamondringlover]

Welcome back, I too have missed your posts!!! I am so sorry to hear about the breast cancer....seems like there is alot of that happening to people I know and it just sucks. I wish you a speedy recovery and you are in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[Beacon]

Hi again,

I don't want to threadjack in any way, but wanted to reach out to Kenny. I have not posted on PS for many months, so I missed Kenny's story, until I noticed his reference in this thread. Kenny I am so sorry for all that you went through and am very glad that your prognosis is so good. I did not know this was happening and want to send you my best wishes for many years ahead of great health. Hope to see you at a GTG in the future!

 

[luv2sparkle]

Many prayers for your complete recovery Andelain! I am glad you made it home safely after all you have been through. Thank you for your service to our country. May your next years be filled with joy, and be cancer free! Prayers and hugs.

 

[onedrop]

Andelain: Prayers for successful treatment of your cancer. And many thanks for your service!

 

[MissGotRocks]

It is good to see you back on PS - I'm terribly sorry about the cancer diagnosis. Best wishes for continued success with your treatment!

Hang in there - from your military experiences you are obviously a tough fighter and that will keep you in good stead!

 

[rainwood]

I wish you all the best. It can be a tough go, but you are obviously made of very strong stuff. My husband has been battling leukemia for 15 years and is coming up on his one-year anniversary of a stem-cell transplant so I know a little of what you're going through. It will get better. The chemo is often the worst part.

 

[movie zombie]

I'm happy that you're back in the States and back on PS. Hugs to you and healing vibes too.

what she said!

 

[stepcutnut]

Sending lots of healing vibes your way!

 

[Andelain]

Hugs to you from another cancer survivor!

Hugs to you from another cancer survivor!

Hugs back to you, Kenny. Glad you're leading the way here.

Hi Andelain. First, I would like to say that I am glad you are home safe from your deployment. But it saddens me that you are home from one battle to fight another. I am so sorry to hear about your breast cancer. I will definitely keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Sending lots of dust for a full recovery!

armywife13, Autumnovember, decodelighted, Dancing Fire, VRBeauty, susimoo, DiaDiva, lknvrb4, Maisie, missy, Tuckins1, Mrsacornblue, Scorpioanne, Laila619, davi_el_mejor, Anastasia, daintyG, tigian, Fly Girl, rubybeth, Matata, Skippy, lyra, tyty333, diamondrnglover, luv2sparkle, luv2sparkle, MissGotRocks, rainwood, movie zombie, and stepcutnut




Thank you all so much for the kind words, dust and prayers. I wish I could answer you each individually, but this chemo has me to sick to concentrate long enough to to that. I hope you'll understand how much each post means to me. Autumnovember, my prayers and dust gtill going up for you, too.

decodelighted, there's a way to set your preferenced so that junk down't show when you're logged in. I did it, but can't remember how. Perhaps someone could enlighten us?

Tuckins1, that Daisy is beautiful, thank you.

davi_el_mejor, The doc says I'm alive, but I sure don't feel that way right now!

Anastasia, I hope you keep feeling that way.

daintyG, if you like my style of writing, here's a thread I ran that you might enjoy. I had a lot of fun writing it, and I hope you like it, too.
[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/my-custom-whiteflash-ring-is-here.156794/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/my-custom-whiteflash-ring-is-here.156794/[/URL]

tyty333, I'd love to have your company as I go through this treatment.

rainwood, prayers and dust sent for your husband! I once came within hours of donating bone marrow, when my recipient died. I was so bummed, he was 9. I'm so glad it seems to have gone well for you husband.
.

 

[Andelain]

Bald is beautiful!
As Winnie the Pooh says" you are stronger than you think! "
It does suck that you survived all the horror of the sandbox and now have to fight this evil! You will be in my prayers daily!!!

Briefly about me:
Found a lump around Nov1994. Dr. Says get mammo after the holiday. So I waited till Presidents Day( hey it's a holiday!) mammo looked like a splattered egg. Never saw people move so fast! Saw Ob, Surgeon and oncologist in record time. March 1st . Biopsy :
My tumor was 4cm just 1cm away from being stage 3 and it had spread to a lymph node. So i was stage2b This was in the days before sentinel node biopsy, so the whole arms with of nodes are gone. After almost 18 years( it will be 18 on March 1st) my arm pit and about 4 inches down my underarm are still numb. BUT. Every once in a while I get a crazy itchy sensation and I realize I have more feeling!!! By my 20th anniversary I guess it will be all back. I has mastectomy with a TRAM flap reconstruction done at the same time. One bonus of the TRAM FLAP WAS a free tummy tuck!
8 cycles of chemo and 5 years of tamoxifen( hormone + )
About 5 years ago I had a breast lift on the other side( I was a 36 long at that point now they are perky as a 20 year olds!!

Sorry if this was TMI
Elisa

Elisateach, that wasn't TMI at all! Hearing details about others fighting or have fought breast cancer is goos information. I can't believe how much I've learned about cancer if just a few moths.

That sucks that you had to lose all the lynph nodes, but I'm glad you don't have lymphodema to go with your numbness. I was lucky to only have to lost 4 nodes, and count my lucky stars my arm isn't much swollen or numb. I hope you get all your feeling back, too.

I considered a TRAM flap for myself, but the though of getting muscles cut scares me off. I'm pursuing getting a DIEP flap, and if I can't get that, silicone implants only partly covered by the pec muscle. Unless there's another option I don't know about.

Thank you for your post!

So sorry to hear of your cancer! Breast cancer is a tough disease but thankfully treatments are much more effective these days than in the past. My mom died from it, both her Aunts had it, one died early but the other lived thil 83. Along the way I have had a lot of things done and pretty much as close as you can get to a cancer dx without actually having it (LCIS).

Triple neg is difficult but usually responds to chemo. Hope that chemo is kicking the cancer's butt! There is a great website, breastcancer.org, with awesome discussion groups and a whole section for women with triple negative. If you haven't been there, you might check it out. Lots of information, the participation is huge.

Hoping for a fully recovery for you!! Be well.

You're right, that's an informative website. I'm so sorry about your Mom and aunt. Thanks for posting and for the good wishes!

Andelain, keeping you in all of my positive thoughts and prayers.

Triple negative is something I'm all too familiar with - my sister is wrapping up her treatment as we speak. I don't want to fill your thread up with her story, but let me know if you have any questions about her treatment/experience.

Please don't be afraid to fill up this thread with your sister's story. Feel free to post it all, and I'm praying she won the battle. If you and she are comfortable with sharing I've got a lot of questions for you.

For starters, and if there's aren't too personal....

What chemo meds? I'm getting Adriamycin and Cytoxan together every 2 weeks, then I have a regimen of Taxol. The Taxol scared me, because of the high potential for permanent nerve damage. I'm trying to find if there's an alternative I could use.

What side effects did she have? I'm having cloudy head and forgetfulness (chemo brain) real bad, dizzy spells, and intermittent extreme fatigue.

If you're not comfortable posting here, can you contact me on Diamond Bistro? I have an account there.

Dearest Andelain,

Thank you for so bravely sharing your cancer story and current situation. I am sorry I missed the other post but as you know I don't get on here too much. Please know that I am continually praying for you to get the best possible results and manageable treatment and of course for complete healing and recovery. You are one heck of a gal and I know that your future will only grow brighter and stronger once you finish KICKING that cancers boo-ta-ta. (I would love to use the swear word but we are in public here. )

You have been such a dear friend to encourage me with my brother's illness and extended hospital stay. Thanks so much for that, I have no doubt that your good will, will be returned to you in many fold. I am expecting wonderful healing for you in due time.

Sending you BIG HUGS from Texas and all of us at WF!!

Vera, thank you so much for your friendship, I value it so much. Your brother stays in my prayers, even though I'm late to answer your email about him. I hope he comes back to kick some doctor's backside.... <hugs>

I'm working hard to get the best treatment, and think I've got a good oncologist. She's really thorough, and never rushes a visit. She's concerned that some of the side effects of the chemo might be something else going on, so she ordered a brain MRI for me. I told her that any scan of my brain would turn up negative.

Thank you so much for all the prayers and well-wishes, and please return all the hugs from me to everyone there. Bob included. I'll have you know I'm enjoying my brand new pretties so much I haven't even started to mix and match them yet like I like to do with my other earrings. They'll be prominently featured in a catch-up bling thread I need to run.

In case anyone's wondering, the WF earrings are a result of me 'pulling and Andelain' while working on a project an GOG that seems to have stalled, maybe permanently.

Hi, Andelain-

It is good to see you again. Now the job is just to see you get back to your fit self! Like so many others here, I believe you will make it. I also know that battling cancer is not easy and that you can use all the friends you can get...so I hope that you continue to update this thread! Many other Pricescopers have had threads of their own. I hope you will keep this one and use it for support as you continue treatment so that we may sustain you in your struggle!

You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Deb/AGBF

Thanks AGBF, it's good to see you again, too. You're right, that's my full time job now. I'm home and on disability now. I'm actually out of the military and had gone back over as a civilian. After being injured a few years ago, the military finally gave me the boot and sent me to the VA to collect money and treatment. Luckily the injury that DQ'd me from military service didn't DQ me from serving as a contractor. The real upside is that I have better health insurance than the VA ever would have offered me.

I'd be glad to post my updates here, as long as the mods don't mind. Prayers and dust will be appreciated for a while, and I really like the idea of hearing from other going/gone through this. Today's update is that I had my third dose of A/C, and I've been out of it and feeling like something the dog forgot to bury. But then, I've felt like that even since I started the chemo.

 

[Jennifer W]

Andelain, I'm late to this thread, because in truth, I just didn't have the words to express what I wanted to say to you. It just seemed so damned unfair. I wanted to say that a friend of mine is celebrating ten years of cancer-free joyful life this month, after beating breast cancer. I'm going to look forward to your updates and know that each one takes you closer to that same celebration.

Thinking of you during this tough stage, and looking forward to hearing good news soon.

 

[starshine]

Sending good wishes your way, Andelain. My mom has been fighting metastatic HER2+ breast cancer for 2 years now. It's a journey!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Andelain, I know I spoke to you on another thread and am just now seeing this one, but I wanted to tell you that I am sooo glad you are back with us! I will be praying for your healing and recovery!!!!

 

[movie zombie]

Andelain, i wanted to say that i read your post in JewelFreak's thread in which you said, "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." of course, that was about the loss of loved ones. what i wanted to say to you here in your thread which is about something one could never be happy about is that YOU have the right mind set and attitude traveling your path. one could never be happy having breast cancer. but one can be happy about having survived the sandbox. i don't think i'm writing any of this very well but i admire you. you are facing everything with courage. when i read what you wrote in that other thread i wondered if you had studied taoism at all.....? because that was such a taoist thing to write.

 

[AprilBaby]

Andelain, I am so relieved to see you back! I was worried something had happened over there. Thanks so much for your service! Every time I thought of you I said a prayer that things were fine and you were just busy. So sorry about the cancer. Sounds like you are getting good treatment and you will kick the beast and come out ahead! Best wishes and stick around! We all so missed you!

 

[Beacon]

Andelaine, sorry the chemo is making you feel so lousy

Just remember one thing: it's making that cancer feel even worse!!! The cancer is having a really bad day! It's getting killed by that chemo. So that is one way to see it!

I saw where you were discussing your recon options. One thing I have heard about, is that if a person does implants, they can also do some fat grafting around the implant to give a more natural look. I know that's all down the road, but wanted to mention this to you. Hope you are feeling a bit better today. (((hugs)))

 

[danners84]

Andelain, keeping you in all of my positive thoughts and prayers.

Triple negative is something I'm all too familiar with - my sister is wrapping up her treatment as we speak. I don't want to fill your thread up with her story, but let me know if you have any questions about her treatment/experience.

Please don't be afraid to fill up this thread with your sister's story. Feel free to post it all, and I'm praying she won the battle. If you and she are comfortable with sharing I've got a lot of questions for you.

For starters, and if there's aren't too personal....

What chemo meds? I'm getting Adriamycin and Cytoxan together every 2 weeks, then I have a regimen of Taxol. The Taxol scared me, because of the high potential for permanent nerve damage. I'm trying to find if there's an alternative I could use.

What side effects did she have? I'm having cloudy head and forgetfulness (chemo brain) real bad, dizzy spells, and intermittent extreme fatigue.

If you're not comfortable posting here, can you contact me on Diamond Bistro? I have an account there.

Andelain, I haven't forgot about you. Sis has been in town for surgery and rads, but her last rad treatment is Monday and she is hightailing it back home to her hubby after 3 months of living with our parents, so I'm spending most of my free time with her. I'll be brief for the moment but I'll come back to write more later.

Chemo: she did TAC, so same meds as you, only all at once. 6 rounds, 3 weeks apart. I've read about your treatment, as well. She did not have any neuropathy issues from the Taxol. How far are you into your treatment? She had dexamethasone and zofran as her pretreatments.

She had chemo brain, fatigue, loss of appetite, and nausea picked up after several treatments and they had to add an additional anti-emetic, I'll have to ask her what it was.

I'll be back for more later tonight.

 

[tyty333]

I'm amazed at you sense of humor right now Andelain...brain scan...negative.....ha ha ha ! Good one!

Keep us posted.

 

[danners84]

Ok, more details:

Sis was diagnosed in November with Triple Negative BC, stage IIIB, grade 3. Tumor was 5cm. At that point she was noticing a change within even a weeks time. First chemo was a week after the pathology report came back. 9+ involved lymph nodes.

So like I said before, her treatment was TAC: Taxol, Adriamycin, and Cytoxan all at once. 6 rounds, three weeks apart. Zofran and dexamethasone premeds. She also took Emend. After her third round, she had some pretty bad nausea and lack of appetite. She had another anti-emetic added, but she couldn't remember today what it was (says it wasn't phenergan) so I'll get that info from her later. Chemo was rough - she doesn't tend to be high energy at baseline, and she was pretty fatigued. But she only does some private tutoring, so unlike most, she had the luxury of resting all she could/wanted. She never experienced neuropathy from the Taxol, and no cardiac symptoms at this point from the Adriamycin. Heartburn was another big issue for her. I think when she asked they told her to take Pepcid? And chemo brain - she got around this by writing herself notes and keeping ALL of her schedule documented and in one place. And the chemo brain is now gone, so it's not permanent And her hair is growing back, thick and beautiful, as will yours.

Her chemo was completed in the town she currently lives in, but we had her come home for surgery and she stayed for radiation. She lives in a border town, and we live in a city with a top cancer hosp in the nation. It was by FAR the best choice. Top hospital + TLC from Mom was what she really needed.

Had a bilateral double mastectomy in April. Aside from the diagnosis as a whole, this was the roughest for her, both physically and emotionally. ALL lymph nodes on her affected side were removed. Her pain tolerance is extremely low, however, and most accounts that I have read say chemo is the worst. But we did receive excellent news post-op: pathology showed a pathological complete response, so no signs of cancer whatsoever in the removed tissue. I hope that you have the same results so that I can toast to you the same as we did for her.

She is finishing up radiation, which was delayed slightly because it took her a while to be able to get her arm up in the proper position after surgery - she was hesitant to move much, etc. But she pushed through and signed up for extra physical therapy which helped tremendously - I highly recommend it, even if you are good at sticking to pushing through the pain of exercises - PTs can teach you some great, very specific exercises. She has been doing really really well with radiation. I am extremely impressed. No lymphedema at this point, but she wears her compression sleeve throughout the day.

I'm minimal help with reconstruction suggestions because at the moment, Sis is refusing any more surgery. It's not my place to convince her otherwise, but I did encourage her to think about it seriously re: the long term emotional impact. I honestly believe she will regret it, but I cannot make her do it. Before her decision to not do reconstruction, she was planning on doing the autologous breast reconstruction - did not want to do implants because of the potential need for future surgeries.

Andelain, I really hope that you are tolerating your treatments well, and letting your MD know of any issues you are having. Sis was complaining to me about the heartburn but hadn't tried to find out if she could take anything. Speak up if you have ANY issues or concerns. No one can advocate for you if they don't know what you need.

How many treatments of AC are you getting total? Taxol then goes how often for how long? I'm sorry you're feeling like $h!t after your third round of AC.

Have you been tested for the BRCA genes?

Then surgery? Do I remember correctly that you said you had a lumpectomy but will be going back for mastectomy?
Are you going to be receiving radiation treatments?

Please keep us posted. Let me know if there are any other questions you have. And if there is anything that you would rather ask in private, let me know and I'll find my way over to DB.

 

[Gypsy]

Much dust and support coming your way. ((HUGS))

 

[JewelFreak]

Andelain, all my thoughts & wishes for the very very happiest outcome on this are piling up right on your doorstep; go look & you'll see them. Gosh, here I am boo-hooing about comparatively small stuff, when you've been doing hero duty & this too. Embarrassing. You will get through the chemo & come out on the other side to beat this; you already showed in country that you are brave & undefeatable. Chemo made my mother feel ragged too, but once it was finished, she returned to her sassy old self, hair & all, and oddly enough, her skin was never more beautiful.

I wish it were really possible to deposit a big heap of goodness onto your bed -- but you don't need to see it materially to know it is there. From all of us. Hug it to you.

Please keep 'talking' & letting us know how you're doing. Diamond (Type II, D flawless) dust for you.

--- Laurie

 

[Andelain]

Sending good wishes your way, Andelain. My mom has been fighting metastatic HER2+ breast cancer for 2 years now. It's a journey!

I'm sending dust and prayers her way, too.



I know I got some catching up to do here, just haven't felt up to posting at all. This chemo is kicking my arse. But I did get my promised bling thread up over in SMTB. Hope you folks enjoy the pics. [URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/andelains-catchup-bling-thread.177281/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/andelains-catchup-bling-thread.177281/[/URL]

I'll post more updates when I can. Thanks for all the dust and caring!

 

[Jennifer W]

Post whenever you feel like it - I hope this is a support for you, and not a chore. Thinking about you.

 

[Andelain]

Jennifer W, diamondseeker2006, AprilBaby, Beacon, tyty333, Gypsy, JewelFreak, thank you all for the kind words and dust. It's all appreciated. Jewelfreak, I read your thread and there's nothing small or insignificant about the losses in your life. Much dust coming your way, too.

BTW, I do love the D-FL dust. We all know I have a thing for D colored diamonds.

Andelain, i wanted to say that i read your post in JewelFreak's thread in which you said, "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." of course, that was about the loss of loved ones. what i wanted to say to you here in your thread which is about something one could never be happy about is that YOU have the right mind set and attitude traveling your path. one could never be happy having breast cancer. but one can be happy about having survived the sandbox. i don't think i'm writing any of this very well but i admire you. you are facing everything with courage. when i read what you wrote in that other thread i wondered if you had studied taoism at all.....? because that was such a taoist thing to write.

No Tao, just heard someone I know say it and could relate. So often when I find a thread or RL situation like that I get lost for words, so I'll borrow someone else's words if they say what I'm thinking.

I'm not sure if I have the best attitude or not. I'm neither optimistic about beating this, nor pessimistic. I either will or I won't win the battle. I know what the statistics say, even with treatment there's about a 30% chance it'll come back and spread. There's close to a 70% chance it won't. So I'll have to wait and see which side I end up on. Sometimes people tell me I have to just believe I'll beat this. I don't think that way, I have to accept that I may not. That means down the road I might have to think about things like who gets my bling, etc. For now though, I'm not concerned with that. For now it hasn't spread, so I'll keep on acting accordingly. And being too sick to move from the chemo, that is.......

Ok, more details:

...........

Wow, thanks for all that. Prayers and dust that she's beat it for good. Reading through, there's a lot we have in common. Same cancer, same treatment in a different order. Sounds like her tumor was probably in the fatty tissue of the breast, that kept it from being detected until it got large? Mine was above the fatty tissue, I discovered it when it was around 1 cm in size. It was growing fast, and was over 2 when it was removed. I could see it growing from one day to the next. I was also lucky that my lymph nodes weren't yet affected. Those will have to be retested because of the MRI coming up positive after my surgery.

Yes, I had a lumpectomy at first, but now have to have a mastectomy because of that MRI. I'm having them both off at that point. If my lymph nodes stay clean I should be able to avoid radiation. My chemo is being spread out differently. I'm having the Adriamycin/Cytoxin together every 2 weeks, then I'll have the Taxol by itself. Makes the chemo take longer overall. 4 doses of the A/C, then 12 of Taxol. My BRCA came up negative, which surprised my doc.

I'm having the chemo brain and fatigue worse with each dose, and really hoping I tolerate the Taxol a little better. I'm also having other, less serious but aggravating side effects.

Post whenever you feel like it - I hope this is a support for you, and not a chore. Thinking about you.

I don't think of it as a chore at all, I really appreciate the support. I was just too wiped to think up and type coherent replies. The fatigue and chemo brain are that bad at times right now. I'm just glad I have only one more dose of the nastier chemo drugs. Next one is supposed to be easier to tolerate, I hope so.

 

[loriken214]

Bless your precious heart Andelain! You are my SHERO in so many ways. My prayers for comfort and healing are with you.

I've been through two rounds of chemo to try and wean me off of steroids for my SLE Lupus and it isn't any fun. You are a fighter and I know you will get through this.

I'm looking forward to hearing more about your journey and please know that we are here for you!

HUGS,
Lori

 

[Sparklelu]

Thinking of you today, hope all is going well. ****dust****
As for the chemo brain sorry to say but I and my cousin( who was diagnosed weeks after me) found we had fog for about a year! Good thing is when you forget to do something like pay a bill and call it chemo brain they forgive you!
You mentioned in a post about mastectomy, IMO I hope you are considering reconstruction at the same time.
I was very glad I did. As I said I had tram flap and about 6 months later a nipple created( they do nipple saving procedures now). I felt a bit like I had been hit by a truck after the surgery but by 1month out was good to go! And had a flat belly!!!
My cousin did not do her recon right away and the sheer effort it took her to gear up for surgery a year later was massive. She too had Flap,but hers was from her back and belly. She was skinnier than me!!!!
I know and others might agree after it is all over and the docs say go one get outta here!!!! ( and they will) merely walking back for the 6 month blood work makes you want to heave!
Plus I think getting it done and over helps you put some closure on the situation. It's never completely done, but you can tuck it further away.
FWIW ... I found the middle treatments for me 4-5 the worst. Then the 6-8 were not as bad.

Elisa

 

[lliang_chi]

Lots of dust headed your way. A million thanks for the job you do and I'm really happy to see you're back on PS.