Upgraders/Setting Changers- Being happy with what you have?

[february2003bride]

I'm the first to admit that over the last few years, I was a habitual diamond/setting/wedding band changer. I've stopped for a variety of reasons and have had my current diamond for 2 years and my current setting for a few months. The plan has been in a couple of years to upgrade my diamond to the size I really want (basically, the size diamond I had sold, maybe a bit larger) and a setting I wouldn't want to change.

However, DH and I have been planning short and long terms financial goals. And mulling those over, I've been wondering, why not just be happy with the ring I have? Why keep putting more money (not debt, just to be clear) into a ring? It's a nice size (.80 carats), in a beautiful setting. I would want a different wedding band (both plain and diamond), but that's minuscule in cost compared to an upgrade.

So knowing that there are a few upgraders/setting changers on PS I thought I'd ask, could you be happy with your current diamond and/or setting/wedding band? Could you wear it, not thinking of what you would change? What would it take to not change your set anymore?

 

[Haven]

Re: Upgraders/Setting Changers- Being happy with what you ha

I'm on my second engagement ring, so one upgrade.

I think this will be my forever ring. I became unhappy with my original ring because, while beautiful, it just wasn't my style. It was too modern and blingalicious, I wanted something more classic. Now that I have it, I'm pretty sure I'll be happy with it forever.

I think learning to be happy with what you have depends on *why* you're upgrading in the first place. Do you upgrade because you love the search? Or do you upgrade because it's a good distraction from something else that's bothering you in life, but that you don't have great control over? Or do you upgrade because you haven't quite figured out your own style yet? Or do you upgrade because you just plain love change and you can afford it? Or for some other kind of reason?

 

[Laila619]

Re: Upgraders/Setting Changers- Being happy with what you ha

Hi Feb! I think once I found the right setting for my 0.98 ct (a 3 stone setting), I did not have any real urge to upgrade anymore. I feel like I kept changing settings because I just wasn't happy with those particular settings. But once I found the 'One', I now feel pretty content. So the bottom line is, if you still feel urges to change things, I think you just haven't found the One yet. It's like marriage...when you meet the right person, you are content. You might still check out other people/rings from time to time but you are still satisfied with what you have. At some point, you have to decide to stop comparing other peoples' bling to your own too (not saying you do that, but I know I did). That helped me a lot too. I think my bling beast has finally been tamed.

 

[marcy]

Re: Upgraders/Setting Changers- Being happy with what you ha

I think if you want an upgrade and you can afford it then I don't see any reason not to upgrade. If I never upgrade my current wedding set I could be happy with it but I am always thinking about how I could change it.

My original ering had a small diamond and I wore it proudly for 16 years. Then I got a 1/2 ct diamond and new wedding set. It was an ASG000 and I loved it for about 3 years but changed out my rings several times in those 3 years. Then I decided I wanted a 3/4 ct. diamond so I upgraded my rings and diamond at Christmastime in 2010. It only took me about a month to start thinking I wanted a different diamond. The 3/4 ct. diamond was GIA EX and - yes I am sure it was all in my head - but I constantly stared at it thinking it wasn't as nice as the AGS0 I traded in. I was back looking to upgrade my diamond within 5 months. I got a 1 ct. AGS000 and do really like it but now I am contemplating a different ering with diamonds or a different band. Of course I thought 1 ct. was huge when I got it but now I'm thinking maybe looking in to a bigger diamond sometime.

Haven asks some good questions and has some very good points to consider on upgrading. I believe I honestly like the thrill of finding something new yet I get buyer's remorse before I get home. I worry about spending the money on something I didn't really need. I think I should have looked at more things, got something bigger, got something better, etc. Which of course is why I am constantly planning my next upgrade. It doesn't stop with my wedding rings either. I have a pretty good list going for upgrading RHRs, pendants and earrings. Now I just have to find the money to take care of that wish list. The jeweler where most of my pieces of jewelry are from have an easy and great upgrade policy which of course help me justify an upgrade.

Will my upgrade fever ever go away? I sincerely doubt it.

 

[junebug17]

Re: Upgraders/Setting Changers- Being happy with what you ha

For much of my married life we just didn't have the extra funds for diamonds...I did receive a .33 diamond ring when I got engaged, which I subsequently lost some years later. I received a 5 stone band for my 10th and wore that as my wband. So yes, I guess for many years I was happy with what I had. (of course, PS didn't exist back then! ) I recently got an OEC ring that was a major purchase for us and still kind of blows my mind money-wise, so yes, I won't be getting any more expensive pieces of jewelry and I will just be happy with what I have.

I guess the bottom line is - it all depends on how you really feel! If you think you can be happy with your current diamond, and any happiness you get from an upgrade is going to be affected by guilt, then maybe it's best to keep what you have. That said, if you have the funds for an upgrade and it's really important to you and will give you a lot of joy, I don't see anything wrong with going for it.

 

[Fly Girl]

Re: Upgraders/Setting Changers- Being happy with what you ha

DH is on his third wedding band and I have two that I wear regularly. I upgraded my original Ering but it took about 30+ years and discovering Good Old Gold on PS before I did anything about it. In that case, it went from .18 ct to .66 ct. Still a modest everyday sort of ring, but now you can actually see the diamond. We got a 25 anniversary upgraded diamond ring with a 1.5 ct diamond for me pre-PS, and I have no wish to change it. The ring is by my favorite Minneapolis jewelry designer, is made from heavy platinum, and I love wearing it. I may wear other rings, and I may get another diamond ring, but this 25 year anniversary ring is not going to be upgraded. It's just right as it is.

And, as you say, it has the distinct advantage that I already own it.

 

[missy]

Re: Upgraders/Setting Changers- Being happy with what you ha

I'm on my second engagement ring, so one upgrade.

I think this will be my forever ring. I became unhappy with my original ring because, while beautiful, it just wasn't my style. It was too modern and blingalicious, I wanted something more classic. Now that I have it, I'm pretty sure I'll be happy with it forever.

I think learning to be happy with what you have depends on *why* you're upgrading in the first place. Do you upgrade because you love the search? Or do you upgrade because it's a good distraction from something else that's bothering you in life, but that you don't have great control over? Or do you upgrade because you haven't quite figured out your own style yet? Or do you upgrade because you just plain love change and you can afford it? Or for some other kind of reason?

I love what you wrote Haven. Very insightful. For me, it really is more about the thrill of the search than anything else. I have been thinking about this a lot lately and I love my ER so why am I obsessing about an upgrade/reset?? Every which way I look at it I realize it is much more about the thrill of the chase and has little, if anything, to do with the ring itself. The same applies to all my jewelry searches/purchases. Once I actually make the purchase the excitement is gone and I am on to the next search. Not an efficient way to save money LOL. I truly enjoy the hunt more than the actual purchase. Not that I mind buying beautiful bling but I mean, how much of it can I actually wear? I am more of a minimalist in my personal style which doesn't lend itself to wearing multiple pieces of jewelry most of the time.

 

[DiamondBrokersofFlorida]

Re: Upgraders/Setting Changers- Being happy with what you ha

I'm on my 5th setting and second diamond. I'm in the business so it is easier for me to do changes. I'm still thinking of upgrading my center diamond in the future to slightly larger and better color.

 

[luv2sparkle]

Re: Upgraders/Setting Changers- Being happy with what you ha

I probably won't ever upgrade again. I am pretty happy with what I have, but that can easily slip away if I spend too much time looking at other peoples rings that I find beautiful. Sometimes, I don't even wear my ring for days. I spent a long time wishing for it. I think it is beautiful and the stacking set I always wanted but I think I am done.

I have kind of moved on to other things. I love to quilt so I just bought a top of the line sewing machine that costs the price of a small nice used car. That is not to say I will never buy another piece of jewelry, but for now I will take a break.

 

[ame]

Re: Upgraders/Setting Changers- Being happy with what you ha

The only reason Ill be changing the setting is poor workmanship. Ill probably have this stone a good while, til I am where I feel like we can really swing a good upgrade (Star 129 monster 3-stone!). I am batting around if I should do a 3 stone with two stars now, though Jon will probably pull his hair out if we are on a quest for 2 smaller matching Stars . I am also considering putting a bezel on this stone for the reset as well, in theory that it would be safer...I dunno. I have not started setting aside the cash to reset again.

 

[Maria D]

Re: Upgraders/Setting Changers- Being happy with what you ha

I probably won't ever upgrade again. I am pretty happy with what I have, but that can easily slip away if I spend too much time looking at other peoples rings that I find beautiful. Sometimes, I don't even wear my ring for days. I spent a long time wishing for it. I think it is beautiful and the stacking set I always wanted but I think I am done.

I have kind of moved on to other things. I love to quilt so I just bought a top of the line sewing machine that costs the price of a small nice used car. That is not to say I will never buy another piece of jewelry, but for now I will take a break.

Sorry, threadjack:

ooooooooo, new sewing machine! Whadja get?

 

[coda72]

Re: Upgraders/Setting Changers- Being happy with what you ha

I have upgraded my diamond a few times, and I'm still not quite at the size I want. However, right now my husband and I have other goals, so I am done with the upgrading and in fact, I am selling my diamond. But hopefully in a few years, if all goes well, I can get a new diamond to replace it.

It sounds like you're somewhat in the same situation. You aren't at the size you want, but you also have other things going on that don't allow you to get to the size you want. If I were you, I would keep what you have until your financial situation changes.

 

[mrs jam]

Re: Upgraders/Setting Changers- Being happy with what you ha

As soon as I make it up to 3 - 3.5 cts, I will be (and stay) completely satisfied. Any time I want to change the look of my solitaire after that, I will rely on stacking bands rather than a reset. I really don't enjoy the search process; I just want to be DONE. So I can move on to handbags.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Re: Upgraders/Setting Changers- Being happy with what you ha

I had a 1 ct. diamond in a solitaire setting for 30 years and got the 1.6 diamond for our 30th anniversary. I recently switched to a 1.58 and am selling the other diamond because I can potentially make a profit. However, if for some reason it doesn't sell, I may wear it as a solitaire and reset the current one in a three stone ring or something. I do not desire a rb larger than 1.6 cts.

I'd love to have an antique style cushion or OEC as a second ring, but I am not changing my e-ring from a rb in Tiffany repro setting with Tiffany wedding band because that is the style I have always worn and it never goes out of style.

 

[armywife13]

Re: Upgraders/Setting Changers- Being happy with what you ha

I am in the process of getting my one and only upgrade, a 3.62 OEC. Through a stroke of luck(actually many strokes of luck) I am able to hit the perfect size for me and my chunky size 8 fingers. I currently am having it set in the jbeg Julia bezel, which will allow me to mix and match stackers if I feel the need for some change. Down the line if DSS sets in(I know, I am crazy...but it might happen) or my taste in settings changes, I might consider resetting-but no changing diamonds. I love the diamond I am getting, and all the luck that made it possible for me to get it makes me feel like we are meant to be together.

With regards to finances, DH and I sat down and had a serious talk about financial situation. We determined that it would be possible, so we went ahead with it. If it had put a large stress on our finances or caused us to miss our financial goals, we would not have done upgraded and would have waited until we were more comfortable spending the money.

 

[Rhea]

Re: Upgraders/Setting Changers- Being happy with what you ha

I've never upgraded, or changed setting; I've added to my collection and own a few bands and 3 diamond rings, my original 0.47 in white gold, my 0.30 transitional in white gold filigree setting with side stones, and my 3 stone which I think I may sell.

I'm actually very pleased with the 0.30. It's hands down my favorite, and has been since I got it about 4 years ago. For me, it wasn't the size of the stone, it's the setting, which is just amazing. The stone doesn't stick out, it isn't a feature really, it's part of the setting, and it's very lovely. I'm happy with what I have. I think I would like someday to possibly have another ring, one that I could wear a wedding band with as I can't with this one, but every time I try to form what I want or draw pictures it's compared to my 0.30. I really think this is it!

 

[HollyS]

Re: Upgraders/Setting Changers- Being happy with what you ha

I think most upgraders are "happy with what they have" now, and in the past.

There is the occasional person who cannot be satisfied. Their issues go much deeper than a need to have finer bling. We've known a few here on PS in years gone by.

And there will always be someone out there who must have a project; or they have a need to continually be a consumer. I suspect their closets are bulging, too. That may apply to a PSer or two. Maybe.

Sometimes it's a question of repairing/replacing a damaged ring.

But a lot of upgraders are celebrating milestones, anniversaries, babies, or their ability to finally afford to replace that tiny speck of a stone purchased eons ago when they were cash poor.

 

[rosetta]

Re: Upgraders/Setting Changers- Being happy with what you ha

I think most upgraders are "happy with what they have" now, and in the past.

There is the occasional person who cannot be satisfied. Their issues go much deeper than a need to have finer bling. We've known a few here on PS in years gone by.

And there will always be someone out there who must have a project; or they have a need to continually be a consumer. I suspect their closets are bulging, too. That may apply to a PSer or two. Maybe.

Sometimes it's a question of repairing/replacing a damaged ring.

But a lot of upgraders are celebrating milestones, anniversaries, babies, or their ability to finally afford to replace that tiny speck of a stone purchased eons ago when they were cash poor.

I think you've covered all the bases here.

I was lucky enough to get great stones of a decent size when I got married, so my reason for upgrade can't be to replace a tiny speck. The settings are beautiful so I don't need a setting upgrade. I don't have a burning need to keep a project going, nor do I constantly have to be buying stuff. I see no logical reason for me to upgrade, so I'm good.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Re: Upgraders/Setting Changers- Being happy with what you ha

ladies,don't you feel sorry for your hubby having to put up with all these "upgrades"?...

 

[february2003bride]

Re: Upgraders/Setting Changers- Being happy with what you ha

Thanks for all the great replies! I guess I should have been more specific in my original post. To me, there is a difference between women who have had their original e-ring for X years and then upgraded for a special anniversary and women like me, who have upgraded/changed say, more than 3+ times for whatever reason.

Haven, very interesting questions and I'll definitely be asking myself them. I don't think my habitual setting change is a deep rooted issue, however looking back when going through the stress of dealing with my parents and brother over a financial issue (my brother spent ALL of their retirement) I was changing my settings a LOT. Now, I've removed myself from dealing with them over my brother, and I went back to work and I changed my setting to a plain solitaire so I wouldn't worry about pave stones falling out (my job requires a lot of hand washing/hand sanitizer/lotion) and I don't think about changing *nearly* as much, other than wanting an upgrade down the road.


Leila- did you decide about your setting and the side stones? Do you think you'll keep it and get the prongs fixed or get a different one?

 

[armywife13]

Re: Upgraders/Setting Changers- Being happy with what you ha

ladies,don't you feel sorry for your hubby having to put up with all these "upgrades"?...

I do, and this has been my only upgrade-albeit a large one. I won't feel so bad when we get his gigantic Chevy Silverado because then we will be even

 

[onedrop]

Re: Upgraders/Setting Changers- Being happy with what you ha

I keep coming back to this thread, because I find the topic so interesting! I haven't commented until now, because I just did know how to respond. However, after some thought, my opinion is this: if you can afford it and the upgrading/resetting is not an attempt to deflect another issue, then I think it's fine. I think there is such a thing as being happy with what you have....for now.

Feb: I think it's interesting that you made a small connection between the issues you were having with your family and some setting changes/upgrades. It kind of makes sense. Not saying that every person that upgrades/re-sets a lot has underlying "issues," but I think sometimes it can explain the need to concentrate on something else when there are other stresses going on in life.

I think for me, I think I am just trying to find a setting that I am happy with! My style seems not to be firm when it comes to settings, so I do myself making changes more often than most. But I think I've finally found something that satisfies all of my needs and wants in a setting, so I think that itch has been scratched!

 

[Mayk]

Re: Upgraders/Setting Changers- Being happy with what you ha

I'm on my second engagement ring, so one upgrade.

I think this will be my forever ring. I became unhappy with my original ring because, while beautiful, it just wasn't my style. It was too modern and blingalicious, I wanted something more classic. Now that I have it, I'm pretty sure I'll be happy with it forever.

I think learning to be happy with what you have depends on *why* you're upgrading in the first place. Do you upgrade because you love the search? Or do you upgrade because it's a good distraction from something else that's bothering you in life, but that you don't have great control over? Or do you upgrade because you haven't quite figured out your own style yet? Or do you upgrade because you just plain love change and you can afford it? Or for some other kind of reason?

Havemn... I'm a fan...well said.... Calls for a little self examination. Always good for the soul!

One and only upgrade of my original ering diamond because we got an EGL stone first... Then upgraded to AGS but only slightly larger. Then upgraded setting twice from 14kt to 18 kt same setting then to platinum different setting All done with ering... Now I am having RHR issues but that is solely the fault of this website!

 

[stargurl78]

Re: Upgraders/Setting Changers- Being happy with what you ha

I still have my original e-ring (I've only been married a year) but I think I could be happy with it forever if I could change the head. It's too high and it's a 4-prong setting (I usually prefer 6 prongs). I might have that taken care of this year. I would love to upgrade some day to a larger stone but that probably won't happen for at least 10 years and if it doesn't happen I won't be devastated.

 

[Gypsy]

Re: Upgraders/Setting Changers- Being happy with what you ha

I'm very happy with my set now. I originally had a temp setting that made my center look smaller proportionately. Then I got what was supposed to be my forever setting, but the pave quality wasn't good on the halo. So I had the halo redone by Steven Kirsch and in the process had him fix the design issues I had with my original halo too (I wanted smaller melee and nicer claw prongs and better optical symmetry).

It's been over a year and I really wouldn't change my set now at all. It's just right for this Goldilocks.

 

[Gypsy]

Re: Upgraders/Setting Changers- Being happy with what you ha

BTW. I do find that not wearing it 24/7 or even everyday increases my happiness with it. Every time I put it on it's like I'm seeing it anew and it mesmerizes me and makes me feel so lucky to have it. Having a 7 stone band to switch out with it is nice, because I wear my set some days and wear that some days and I don't get tired or used to either. Both are kinda new/fresh for me when I wear them as a result.

 

[diamondringlover]

Re: Upgraders/Setting Changers- Being happy with what you ha

My hubby told me recently that I will never be happy is he right? I dont know...I know that I dont like my diamond...will I ever change it..maybe, maybe not, I really cant see spending the amount of money it would take to to buy what I really want...so I will probably keep what I currently have...I am planning a reset though and hopefully it will be my last one...but if my hubby is right...who knows...

 

[TravelingGal]

Re: Upgraders/Setting Changers- Being happy with what you ha

I wouldn't want to upgrade if it meant giving up what I have (trading in). Not only am I sentimental, but my jewelry is usually a marker of some sort of event in my life. Years from now, it would be fun to show my daughter - this is what we could get when I was engaged, this when you were born, this when I turned 40, etc. Maybe when I am 60, I will finally get a honker. Or maybe not. But either way, I've always been happy with my bling and the memories they are for me.

 

[Haven]

Re: Upgraders/Setting Changers- Being happy with what you ha

I wouldn't want to upgrade if it meant giving up what I have (trading in). Not only am I sentimental, but my jewelry is usually a marker of some sort of event in my life. Years from now, it would be fun to show my daughter - this is what we could get when I was engaged, this when you were born, this when I turned 40, etc. Maybe when I am 60, I will finally get a honker. Or maybe not. But either way, I've always been happy with my bling and the memories they are for me.

I like this, it's a really sweet way to look at things.

I always knew you were a softie, TGal!

 

[Rhea]

Re: Upgraders/Setting Changers- Being happy with what you ha

ladies,don't you feel sorry for your hubby having to put up with all these "upgrades"?...

You of all people are very aware of how much watches cost. Nope, I don't feel sorry for him. He is building a nice collection as am I.