Keeping your priorities straight . . .

[Person24]

I have been working as an attorney for a little over 6 months now. Prior to that I had always been a student or had a relatively low stress job. I find myself losing sense of what is really important (i.e. my friends, my husband, my family) and always thinking about work and putting everything else on the back burner. I really do not like that I am becoming this workaholic person who constantly thinks about work. I feel like it could end up badly for me. But I am having a hard-time forcing myself to keep my priorities in line with what I think they should be. (i.e. I spent all morning reading work e-mails and worrying about work). Any advice on keeping what is REALLY important in view

 

[movie zombie]

if you're at a law firm you're doing exactly what is expected and you will make partner on time.

"name" law firms expect that they will be the priority.......

if you're at a 'no-name' firm or "boutique" firm, well, i'd say your still doing what you need to do as you're still in your first year.

not much nelp, right?!

do find time each day to do something that is not job and/or legal related and is just for you. could be sitting under a shade tree for 30 minutes. doesn't have to be elaborate.

you are fortunate to have a job.....i say that in all seriousness.
i've seen a lot of law school students take jobs way below what they trained.

good luck.

 

[Person24]

Move Zombie,

I like my job and know I am lucky to have found a good job in such a crappy market (and hey I am not even working this Saturday!). I just fear becoming someone who lives to work. I know my husband is having a hard time adjusting to my new schedule (and he thought law school was bad).

 

[movie zombie]

yes, law school is all theory.....and there is a price to be paid for being successful in a successful law firm.
spouses of either gender do not like it when "game" has to be played.......but play it you must because if you don't the partners will be telling you about it. and you really don't want that.

the only way it will get better is to do your time, get the experience and then go to a small firm or boutique.

unfortunately, law is one of those fields that pretends to have changed and be family friendly but in the end its all about billable hours, isn't it?

 

[Person24]

I don't work at a huge scary firm or anything. My boss tells me my billables are fine and to just keep doing what I am doing. I can't even imagine how people deal with the highly unreasonable "golden hand-cuff" type places. My guess is they burn out quickly and go somewhere smaller.

 

[JewelFreak]

I'm sure MZ is right about law firms. As far as new jobs & new careers are concerned in any field, you put in a lot of time in the first years as you get established, learn the ropes, & find your feet. Later on, you'll be glad you did. It is tough on spouses & SOs. However, it's an investment in your joint future & part of the sacrifice we must make with that in mind. Your DH would expect the same of you -- and may, at some point in his career.

Taking down-time is really important too, though. Maybe keep Sundays work-free, just for the 2 of you, or a night each week when you go out for dinner together. Takes determination sometimes, but the world won't collapse if you aren't checking messages a whole day.

It's wonderful you like your job so much -- as MZ says, having one in the law at all at the moment is a triumph -- and loving it, even more so!

--- Laurie

 

[Haven]

I think the careers we choose to pursue say a lot about our priorities. If you chose to pursue a career in a field that demands that you put your job first, then either you prioritize things that comes along with that career and you haven't figured it out yet, or you pursued the wrong career.

If your current situation is one that will change in a year, and if you can deal with that, then it sounds like you'll just have to deal with it until it changes. But if you're in a career situation that isn't likely to change with time, then perhaps you should pursue a different way of using your legal degree.

I say this because I've seen a lot of people stick it out in jobs that demand what they perceive to be too much of their time, and in a number of years they *become* the job--their entire identity is wrapped up in it. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, if that's what you want, but if it isn't what you want, then maybe you have some thinking to do.

 

[Gypsy]

I have been working as an attorney for a little over 6 months now. Prior to that I had always been a student or had a relatively low stress job. I find myself losing sense of what is really important (i.e. my friends, my husband, my family) and always thinking about work and putting everything else on the back burner. I really do not like that I am becoming this workaholic person who constantly thinks about work. I feel like it could end up badly for me. But I am having a hard-time forcing myself to keep my priorities in line with what I think they should be. (i.e. I spent all morning reading work e-mails and worrying about work). Any advice on keeping what is REALLY important in view

Yes. A ton of it. And just so you know, you're not alone. I was where you are (attorney and trying to keep priorities straight) several years ago.

I will post more later. But I just wanted to post that the important part is that you are even questioning it now. That's a huge (and great) first step.

 

[lulu]

You're going to get much better at what you're doing-it's a learning curve.For about a year I took every case home with me. In a year you'll find that you don't think about work so much and you'll have more of a personal life. I promise you. I've been there.

 

[Gypsy]

I have been working as an attorney for a little over 6 months now. Prior to that I had always been a student or had a relatively low stress job. I find myself losing sense of what is really important (i.e. my friends, my husband, my family) and always thinking about work and putting everything else on the back burner. I really do not like that I am becoming this workaholic person who constantly thinks about work. I feel like it could end up badly for me. But I am having a hard-time forcing myself to keep my priorities in line with what I think they should be. (i.e. I spent all morning reading work e-mails and worrying about work). Any advice on keeping what is REALLY important in view

I think you should set a time period. A year or a year and a half from now. Pick a date. A Saturday or a Sunday. And on that day evaluate how happy you are where you are and whether you think you've lost sight of priorities or if you think things are better and you were just overwhelmed now. It will give you enough time to adjust in what you are doing, and still be soon enough that you will lots of options if you want a change.

For me, I was always an over achiever and it was always about achieving the next level, all my life. Until I stopped one day and realized it never stops. There's always another level and no time to enjoy the level you are at, or what you've already achieved. And that the attorney's I worked for where fine with that in their own lives, had gone through it themselves and chosen to be workaholics and they didn't understand my concerns kept thinking I would 'get over it', and I realized they never would understand how I felt. So, I opted out. I went into contract management in software companies. And it was better. Much better than working at a firm. Especially if my bosses weren't attorney's.

Even in corporate life you are encouraged to get to the next level and having done that now, and been a manager at my last job I realized I don't like to manage people. And I just like doing my job, getting a very nice paycheck for what I do, but not an amazing one, and coming home and enjoying my cats, my husband and everything else.

And that was a HUGE mental shift. At first I felt like a slacker and like there was something wrong with me. My family didn't understand, and neither did my lawyer friends. But then I realized that for me: I prefer to work to live and not live to work. That's not everyone. But I sat down with my husband and we both feel that happiness isn't linked to money. And once we were on the same page we realized And that making a joint income of 200k+ wasn't making us happy at all. And we worked out how much we needed to make to allow us to have a life we enjoyed without too much financial stress. And we decided that we were happy with that. I gave up some bling, shopping, expensive pastimes and ... you know what? I don't miss it.

And now, I'm opting out of even that within the next few years. I am saving up to complete the GIA GG course, and want to be an appraiser, an independent appraiser in my next "career incarnation'. And I'm going to work toward that.

On the other hand, one of my best friends in law school, who wanted a home, husband and kids made general counsel three years ago at the young age of 33. She drives a Maserati, travels the world, owns a big house with staff... and can't keep a relationship, doesn't have kids, and is never at home to see her house. She owns a beautiful 23K diamond watch, adores jewelry and buys whatever she likes... and lives and breathes work.

The two of us started at the same place. And now we're in totally different worlds. And I can't say I envy her. I really like my life. I really like my husband. I really like my cats. And I really like being able to enjoy them as much as I want.


For you, give it a little time and then in a year take stock. See what you think is happening, what makes you happy and what doesn't. The great thing about a law degree is the skills it gives you and the respect it garners and it's flexibility. You have a TON of options if you decide to opt out of the standard legal routes of firm life, or in house life.

I met up with a huge group of law school friends 4 years after graduation. And all but my best friend (the one who is general counsel) were looking for ways out of the rat race. It's VERY NORMAL that 4 years after graduation people start looking for ways to opt out. I just felt that way earlier than most. And that might be the case for you too. But first, give it enough time so that you can say, "I gave it my best and I gave it enough time, and I KNOW that it was wrong for me, and so I made a change."

You aren't trapped. That's the key. You have options. And there are many people, including me, who can help you find the right path for you.

 

[iLander]

Two thoughts;

No one, on their deathbed, has ever said "I wish I had spent more time at the office".

And this saying by Charles De Gaulle; "The graveyards are full of indispensable men."

I know these sayings, because I went through the work-work-work phase of my life. I am past that now, and realize that my youth zoomed by without me enjoying it.

But make the money while you can, sock it away, but realize the phase will end. Be sure that your identity doesn't go with it.

 

[Person24]

Gypsy -
I understand where you are coming. I am very much an overachiever. I expect a lot out of myself and feel like other people expect a certain degree of success from me. I do get concerned about how people would perceive me if I ever did chose an alternative path (not that I am making any decisions right now). I just don't want to be one of those people who has no one once work isn't the center of their lives. Work isn't going to take care of you if you are sick . . .

ILander - I am def. going to try and save money while I can. I just spent a lot of the money I have made on things I have been putting off for years and that needed to get done. But I am now in a position to start aggressively saving. My husband and I always try and live like we have one income even when we have two (just in case something were to happen).

 

[Gypsy]

Gypsy -
I understand where you are coming. I am very much an overachiever. I expect a lot out of myself and feel like other people expect a certain degree of success from me. I do get concerned about how people would perceive me if I ever did chose an alternative path (not that I am making any decisions right now). I just don't want to be one of those people who has no one once work isn't the center of their lives. Work isn't going to take care of you if you are sick . . .

I could have written that post, several years ago.

I went to Georgetown Law. There is an expectation that comes with that from every person I have ever worked for. And it's always that they expect me to just keep acheiving ... to the death.

But it's like anything else. You have a diamond. How many times are you going to upgrade it? When is it enough. At what point are you upgrading instead of taking a desperately needed vacation. When do you just enjoy your ring as it is, and spend money and time and effort on something else. And what is wrong with never upgrading and just keeping your original one carat diamond. Are you a slacker then?

Or buying a house. You buy a starter home. Then another bigger home. When do you just enjoy owning your own space. What if you just keep your starter home because you like it. Are you a slacker?

Out whole society is geared toward achievement. But you can be an overachiever academically and opt out of it career wise. When I have had to justified myself I've said that my goals are to be the happiest, healthiest person I can be, the best wife and a good daughter, and a good friend. Those are the goals I strive for. And there is nothing wrong with that. I don't judge workaholics. They shouldn't judge me. Period.

It's not easy to deal with other's expectations. But how many times do you have to? A couple times a year? Well, I am happy with my decision to opt out every day since I made it. And if that means I have to deal with obnoxious or judgmental people a few times a year or even a couple times a month... that's a trade off I'll take. It's much better than meeting everyone else's expectations of me while being unhappy daily.

Meeting anyone's other than my own expectations made me desperately unhappy, and resulted in me being clinically depressed, gave me an anxiety disorder. NOT WORTH IT. Even the most obnoxiously judgmental person can't hurt me worse than I was hurting trying to live a life that was wrong for me.

I'm not saying that's your path. But I'm telling you what my path was like so that if it becomes applicable to you... you know you aren't alone. And that it's worth it to pursue whatever makes you happy however unconventional that is.

 

[Person24]

Gypsy,

I definitely could see how attorneys can end up with depression and/or anxiety disorders. I feel like part of the reason I did well in law school and am doing well as an attorney so far is that I am neurotic and a bit anxious. It makes me double check everything and be nit picky about everything for fear of screwing up (overachiever personality perhaps?). So although that type of personality comes in handy in this field in some ways I can see it being destructive as well.

 

[Phdecorate]

It is ok to work hard and push yourself. However, you need to be able to evaluate and figure out if there is anything else to your life. Do you do anything fun? Do you have a date night even if it is just three hours of watching tv and ordering pizza? The point is, it doesn't have to be big things or things that maybe right now you do not have all the time for, but those little things in life should be what its worth living for, so to speak.

I gave up a job with crazier hours and a long commute for one where I have a lot of freedom and flexibility. After a few tough years, I had realized that is what helped me. But I still pressure myself and push myself, I just don't have to be micro managed to get it done.

My important things are Wed date nights with the SO, even if it's just something small, taking my dog for a walk in the park and seeing how much he enjoys it which makes it worth the extra 20 mins and going to the gym or getting some type of exercise every day, even if it is just 15 mins. All else is negotiable but I make those things my priorities, aside from my responsibilities. And priorities and responsibilities are not always the same thing.

So don't beat yourself up, it sound alike you have already identified you would like to make at least a few changes. Now see what you can do even if it is very small for yourself or your SO. 5 mins even, or 1 time a week or something. Or even a monthly thing!

And remember, the thing about life is you only get one.

 

[movie zombie]

your boss is happy with your billables.
you sounds like you like where you work.
as noted the first year is a learning curve.
you will be working "smarter" and faster before you know it.

however, you have stated your husband is unhappy with your hours.....i didn't hear you actually say that was true for yourself....only that you want to keep your priorities straight.

i'm going to suggest it is time to sit down with hubby and talk about priorities. get on the same page before you start making any changes.

your relationship, imo, has got to be a priority. as noted above there are ways to do that. i don't hear you saying that you think you made a career choice mistake by going to law school. what i'm hearing is that you want to make sure that there will be balance in your life. how do others in your law firm do it? is there anyone there that you admire and seems to have "balance" in their life?

many do leave law offices and move to less pressure offices or into the business arena and use their law skills there. some move into nonprorfits or other organizations taking huge salary cuts and use their law skills there. you do have options.

it does sound to me like you've actually landed well and perhaps are having first year jitters. talk to your hubby. be clear what you need for yourself but take into account what he would like to see. date nights and weekends go a long way towards making a spouse feel significant.

give yourself some time. again, you seem to have landed well and that is a very fortunate thing in this economy.

 

[MissGotRocks]

Gypsy -
I understand where you are coming. I am very much an overachiever. I expect a lot out of myself and feel like other people expect a certain degree of success from me. I do get concerned about how people would perceive me if I ever did chose an alternative path (not that I am making any decisions right now). I just don't want to be one of those people who has no one once work isn't the center of their lives. Work isn't going to take care of you if you are sick . . .

I could have written that post, several years ago.

I went to Georgetown Law. There is an expectation that comes with that from every person I have ever worked for. And it's always that they expect me to just keep acheiving ... to the death.

But it's like anything else. You have a diamond. How many times are you going to upgrade it? When is it enough. At what point are you upgrading instead of taking a desperately needed vacation. When do you just enjoy your ring as it is, and spend money and time and effort on something else. And what is wrong with never upgrading and just keeping your original one carat diamond. Are you a slacker then?

Or buying a house. You buy a starter home. Then another bigger home. When do you just enjoy owning your own space. What if you just keep your starter home because you like it. Are you a slacker? Out whole society is geared toward achievement. But you can be an overachiever academically and opt out of it career wise. When I have had to justified myself I've said that my goals are to be the happiest, healthiest person I can be, the best wife and a good daughter, and a good friend. Those are the goals I strive for. And there is nothing wrong with that. I don't judge workaholics. They shouldn't judge me. Period.

It's not easy to deal with other's expectations. But how many times do you have to? A couple times a year? Well, I am happy with my decision to opt out every day since I made it. And if that means I have to deal with obnoxious or judgmental people a few times a year or even a couple times a month... that's a trade off I'll take. It's much better than meeting everyone else's expectations of me while being unhappy daily.

Meeting anyone's other than my own expectations made me desperately unhappy, and resulted in me being clinically depressed, gave me an anxiety disorder. NOT WORTH IT. Even the most obnoxiously judgmental person can't hurt me worse than I was hurting trying to live a life that was wrong for me.

I'm not saying that's your path. But I'm telling you what my path was like so that if it becomes applicable to you... you know you aren't alone. And that it's worth it to pursue whatever makes you happy however unconventional that is.

I love this in bold print. It is so spot on! Not living in the moment robs us of so much. That's not to say that people shouldn't have dreams or aspirations but to live the good life, we truly have to appreciate what we have in the present and stay focused in the moment. I'm going to remember these comparisons because they make so much sense to me!

 

[movie zombie]

its all about balance.......

 

[Gypsy]

its all about balance.......

Exactly. But I'd go one step further. It's about finding your own personal balance. What works for one person isn't right for another. And it takes time to find out what it right for you... time and trial and error. Error is not failure, it's just a signal for a course correction. So if you find yourself in a place you aren't happy with, figure out a course correction and go from there.

 

[Person24]

its all about balance.......

Exactly. But I'd go one step further. It's about finding your own personal balance. What works for one person isn't right for another. And it takes time to find out what it right for you... time and trial and error. Error is not failure, it's just a signal for a course correction. So if you find yourself in a place you aren't happy with, figure out a course correction and go from there.

I agree with this. Everyone is different and everyone handles stress and lack of free time differently. I feel like I am handling it okay for now (other than the constant worry I am not doing good enough). But I can't imagine that it really gets "easier" with experience. It appears that the higher on the food chain people get the more responsibility they have and the more pressure stress (even if their actual work-load gets smaller because they can delegate more). So my guess is it doesn't get easier you just adapt and it seems easier because you become accustomed. I also get concerned with how things would work once kids come into the picture.

 

[Gypsy]

its all about balance.......

Exactly. But I'd go one step further. It's about finding your own personal balance. What works for one person isn't right for another. And it takes time to find out what it right for you... time and trial and error. Error is not failure, it's just a signal for a course correction. So if you find yourself in a place you aren't happy with, figure out a course correction and go from there.

I agree with this. Everyone is different and everyone handles stress and lack of free time differently. I feel like I am handling it okay for now (other than the constant worry I am not doing good enough). But I can't imagine that it really gets "easier" with experience. It appears that the higher on the food chain people get the more responsibility they have and the more pressure stress (even if their actual work-load gets smaller because they can delegate more). So my guess is it doesn't get easier you just adapt and it seems easier because you become accustomed. I also get concerned with how things would work once kids come into the picture.

This is insightful. I think you are on the right path, as long as you listen to your gut and realize that what you feel is valid and that even if others don't validate your feelings or don't share them-- you are still right to feel them and that you should listen to YOURSELF not to others opinions you will be okay.

 

[Lotus99]

I've always tended to compartmentalize. When I'm at work, I work. When I'm at home, I focus on home stuff.

If you have to check emails, limit the time you spend doing that. Make it a 15-minute task after you've had dinner or before you go out for the day. The rest of the time, try to focus on relaxing with your husband (or whatever else it is you're doing with him). Put thoughts of work on the back burner. They're not getting work stuff done and they're only distracting you.

As for kids and the future -- priorities change. Worry about that when the time comes. For now, try to find a balance between work and husband/loved ones. Life changes constantly, and there will certainly be years when you feel everything is taking too much of your energy. When you're young, you can handle it, but sometimes you need to find creative ways around the things that aren't important.

 

[Brown.Eyed.Girl]

Gypsy pointed me towards this thread because she knows I went through a very similar situation, where I really questioned whether this was the lifestyle I wanted. The difference is that I never started working; I changed paths as soon as I graduated from law school.

In law school, I was making money (I had firm jobs both summers), I went to UChicago for law school, I was in a relationship with a classmate and even in law school, our lifestyles were such that we really didn't worry about money too much (we also went on amazing vacations to New Zealand, Costa Rica, etc.). But even then I was pretty unhappy. I summered my 2L summer at a major NYC law firm (one that the recession hurt a LOT less than other firms). And I didn't like what I saw. People weren't happy, even those who were really really good at their jobs. One attorney (who has since made partner) practically lived at the office. I didn't love the law (which played a factor), and I certainly didn't love it enough to sacrifice that.

Since then I switched to education (I'm finishing a Masters and credential program now). Oh, also, the relationship ended. I'm living in CA now, and I'm probably always going to be poor (teachers' salaries being what they are), but I am happy. I realized that my priorities did not include sacrificing friends, family, me time, etc. just to get ahead in the rat race that is Biglaw. And I love what I do now. I love teaching, and I'm excited to go to work, and love working with my students, and I'm healthier and happier and on track to where I want to be in five, ten years.

Yeah, it's sad that I look at a 62K starting salary and think, Whoa, that salary is HUGE, compared to Above the Law's post today about how one NYC firm is raising to 180K. But you know, I'd rather have less money and a better quality of life, and hopefully a future that involves meeting The One, and having a family, than having all that money and no time to spend it, or no happiness (though thank heavens for Income Based Repayment and the Public Service Loan Forgiveness Program).

Just my 0.02 and I realize my situation isn't going to be right for everyone, but I am happy to have reevaluated my priorities and gotten out.

 

[rainwood]

The first year of practice is kind of weird. You're doing everything for the first time, which can be unsettling, and it takes awhile to get over being anxious about that because it's all so new. Law school doesn't prepare people for the actual practice very well so it's a time where you keep discovering how much you don't know. It turns out to be a lot! The key is to set good and efficient habits from the beginning, and minimize non-productive time as best you can. It's okay to wonder whether you're striking the right balance because most of us wonder that at some point. But you need to find the right answer to that question for YOU, and I think 6 months is too soon to decide for most lawyers. Not everyone will agree and you've heard from several of them already, but I don't think you should make any big decisions just 6 months in.

Eventually, you'll need to figure out what you want out of your career. Being in private practice doesn't mean you have to be in private practice forever. It may be something you love or it may be something you do to gain experience and move into something else. There are lots of legal-related options, but most of them aren't available to someone with little experience. I was in big law when it made sense for me then switched to something else when it didn't. I moved into a general counsel position, but lead a totally different life than the one Gypsy described of her friend. There are lots of ways to be a lawyer.

One of the skills that took me awhile to learn was to be "present" when I was at work and be present when I was at home. Until I did that, I was always thinking about work and it drove my husband nuts. That's part of the challenge of the first few years for everybody. And if your husband is unhappy about the hours you work and those are the hours you're likely to keep for awhile, you need to have a discussion about what your individual and shared career and personal goals are, and how you can best go about achieving them.

Hope this helps.

 

[missy]

Hi Person24, there is a lot of sage advice in this thread. Living in the moment and taking it day by day and re-evaluating after a time period is important. My dh is in the environmental law field and he put in lots of long and hard hours for the first decade of his career in corporate law. He was happy and realized he was working hard with an eye towards the future but enjoying what he was doing right then as well. He then switched fields because he became unhappy (always re-evaluating-it's a lifelong process) after 16 years and did something different because he was burnt out and needed a fresh change.

He is now back in environmental and sustainability but at a different corporate firm and he is happy. Of course that can all change as nothing in life is static but for now all is well. He is putting in less hours, delegates lots more and is fulfilled in what he does. You have to pay your dues in the beginning if that is the sort of lifestyle you want. It is all about priorities and no one but you and your dh can decide what is right for you.

I'm with Haven in that before I decided what I wanted to do for a living I decided what type of lifestyle I wanted and money and power was not the end all be all (not saying this is true for you but this was a factor in my decision for sure). I chose a field where when I was at work I was at work but when I was at home my mind would not be at work and I would not be on call 24/7 (as my dh often was and rarely is now but sometimes).

My dh and I are of the same mind in that we work to live and not live to work. But as I said, the beginning of your career is where you have to put in the elbow grease and work harder than you will have to later on in your career. So what is happening now is not what necessarily has to continue happening 5-10 plus years (it all goes so fast) down the road. It is all about what you decide you want in life. But for now I recommend keep working at this job you are enjoying and take the necessary time to decide what you and your dh want now and in the future. Priorities can and will change and that is all a normal part of the process of life.

You are young and this is just the beginning. But always Live in the Moment!

 

[Person24]

Maybe I spoke too soon that I was handling this okay! I literally had the worst, most stressful day at work of my life today. The sad thing is I know that other days could and will get WAY worse than today.

Being a newbie professional is def. painful. Maybe this is what bootcamp is like?

Okay. I will stop complaining now. I am being a baby. But it still stinks!

 

[Person24]

And yes I know I am lucky to actually have a decent law job . . .

 

[Gypsy]

Maybe I spoke too soon that I was handling this okay! I literally had the worst, most stressful day at work of my life today. The sad thing is I know that other days could and will get WAY worse than today.

Being a newbie professional is def. painful. Maybe this is what bootcamp is like?

Okay. I will stop complaining now. I am being a baby. But it still stinks!

Of course it sucks. And you aren't being a baby at all. Calling a spade a spade isn't being a baby!

There is a line. At some point you hit diminishing returns and that's not failure. If you hit that point, get out for your own good.

Everyone kept telling me how lucky I was to be offered the jobs I was, to be where I was, to make the salary I was making. They were talking from their experience and their expectations. For ME, it wasn't lucky. It was just trapping me. Period.

People talk from their experiences. You have to view things from yours. Because it's YOUR LIFE, and your experience is what counts. Period. Your perspective and your emotions. Don't invalidate that.

 

[movie zombie]

.......Being a newbie professional is def. painful. Maybe this is what bootcamp is like?
Okay. I will stop complaining now. I am being a baby. But it still stinks!

yep.

but that is true no matter what professional field. and changing "fields" is no bed of roses either. its part of the adjustment from classroom to the reality of the work world. expect to have bad days. BUT every day should not be a bad day for months on end....much less years on end. for some the transition is easy. for others more painful. for some its because it really was the wrong career path. perhaps a law firm is not for you. perhaps working for a nonprofit will be your cup of tea. but no matter what there are going to be bad days. as my mother so infamously stated and pissed me off no end, "who said life is fair?" !!!!!!! gotta pay those dues but only you can decide what "dues" your willing to pay........ i'm sure there is reason you chose family law: perhaps reconnecting with those thoughts/feelings/ideas will help you get through this first year.

 

[MissStepcut]

Maybe I spoke too soon that I was handling this okay! I literally had the worst, most stressful day at work of my life today. The sad thing is I know that other days could and will get WAY worse than today.

Being a newbie professional is def. painful. Maybe this is what bootcamp is like?

Okay. I will stop complaining now. I am being a baby. But it still stinks!

I'm still in law school, but I just wanted to say, it was similar for me at my first "real" professional job between college and law school. It sounds like you have a good attitude about it, in terms of putting it in context. When you're new to a field, want to excel, want your boss to think you're competent, all that, it's a rough adjustment, especially compared to being a student. Other than that, I'll leave it to Gypsy and everyone else who's actually practiced law.