PS Mommy Thread-Newborn to 12 months!

[Mannequin]

Baby W was either wide awake, wanting to feed every hour, or fussy from about 1:15 to 5 am last night. UGH.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

MQ, you must be exhausted!!

I also occasionally let K nap on her tummy. She's always had incredible neck control and so long as I can watch her and she's happy, I'm happy. She's not as much of a tummy sleeper as some babies, but occasionally she does like it. And I totally understand the 3 hour schedule. I pump every 3 hours, but have to feed her separately, so one hour out of three is pumping, feeding, burping and changing diapers. When she's sleepy, I can get things done. When she's awake, it's all about entertaining her. She likes looking around when I go places (Target, the grocery store, the beach, etc.) so usually that is an activity I try to sqeeze in to my 2 hour window.

When do you get to see images from the shoot? I think a mix of sleepy and awake is good!

Skippy, your boys are so adorable--that would make me want to have another! D and I were talking last night (at 2am, haha) about how we're already looking forward to the next one. And previously we weren't sure if we were going to be one and done. That's already out the window!

PT, A is a clever little girl! Does she cry after she spits it out?

LC, it's 10am here and I'm still in my pjs complete with toothpaste I spilled on them last night. I try to shower between my 9am and noon pump sessions, but it just depends on when Katie naps. She's been up since 6:30 with the exception of a quick 1/2 an hour nap in her Ergo while I did laundry, so I'm hoping she falls asleep soon so I can shower and pump (my pumping schedule is off today).

Only one other mom in the group is going back to work. And none of them breastfeed! So the two biggest challenges I'm having aren't really shared by the other moms.

How did E sleep last night? Did you have another 4.5 hour stretch?

Pancake, I forgot to mention that I also get jealous...or maybe just nastalgic when I see pregnant women. I don't know, meeting K for the first time was the best thing that's ever happened in my life. And I know there are so many fun milestones ahead of me, but part of me is just excited for women who are about to experience that.

AFU, I got 6 hours of broken sleep last night which is SO much better than the 2 hours I got the previous night. Funny what a difference it makes! I was feeling really sick yesterday afternoon (which really sucks when you're caring for a newborn), but feel normal today. Thank goodness. Still, I might take it easy today. I just need to buy some frames for the prints we got from our professional photo shoot so that might be all I do today.

D and I were talking around 2am last night and D said he's really struggling with the thought of me going back to work. I obviously understand as I struggle with it, too, but I still think it's best for the family right now. I have a feeling we'll be talking about it continuously over the coming months. I think we're both on board with me trying part time and then taking it from there. I'm pretty sure that I will work 4 days/week indefinitely, though, which is how I left it with my boss.

 

[Mannequin]

NEL - I am tired, for sure. Glad you got some extra sleep last night! I should be getting proofs from the photo shoot after Easter. the photographer and his family are cruising next week, and he had a few shoots he was working on ahead of the newborn pics we just took. The session fee included 25 proofs, so I will be able to share quite a few pics when they are ready.

LC - I have been forcing myself to put on shorts and a nursing top most days before noon. I could easily end up in my PJs all day.

Weston has been napping well today, but I am dreading the evening again. His witching hours have been awful. I am going to try to start him on a bedtime routine ASAP. Anything would be helpful at this point, and I feel stupid for not being able to figure this out.

I feel like I am nursing constantly, and since I am breastfeeding, I don't have many breaks from caring for the baby. I brought this up with my husband tonight. He said he would like to help me out more and help watch the baby while he is home after work. What is he doing right now? Working on the spare bedroom that he wants to turn into a playroom/future bedroom for the baby. While the baby was awake for playtime between feeds an hour and a half ago, he was on the computer watching stock trading reports. At least he threw a frozen pizza in the oven for dinner during the last nursing session. I don't think he understands how exhausting it is to be up all night with the kid in addition to being the sole caretaker all day. He gets to sleep when Wes is melting down fighting sleep at 3 am. His answer for everything baby related seems to be "pump your boobs" or "take a nap" - sounds great in theory, but not a damn thing gets done around here if I leave everything to him.

And now baby is awake again after only an hour of sleep. He just fed on both sides within the last two hours. Got him a front carrier with a paci, but now I am stuck walking around because as soon as I try to pull him out of this thing, he'll be awake again. Good thing I didn't try to take a nap as hubby suggested.

 

[Skippy123]

MQ, have a chat w/your hubby; I was dying w/twins and my hubby really stepped up to the plate. You will feel so much better getting a break, hugs and hope he helps soon!

NEL, you are the sweetest! Yay that you aren't one and done! I love that my boys have each other to play with! Your daughter is gorgeous and will make an awesome big sis!!! I am glad you got some sleep!

 

[NewEnglandLady]

MQ, I know I am hogging the thread now, but just want to tell you that I COMPLETELY understand your frustration with feeling like the sole caretaker right now. I think a lot of women feel the same way. It's like having boobs automatically means you take on the majority of the responsibility. Since I'm pumping, D can give K a bottle, but I hate waking him and asking for help since he's working. But when I'm exhausted and up with a baby who's been awake for hours and it's 4am...and he's snoring? I want to cry. The other night I actually got the camcorder out and documented my exhausting night and you can hear D snoring in the background.

And also, my husband has not changed a diaper. Or dressed her. He 's TERRIFIED of hurting her. I'm on the computer right now because he asked if I could watch her while he ran to the bathroom...and that was 20 minutes ago. I just checked on him and he's looking at after-hours futures trading reports (ha, sounds like your hubby!). I was upstairs folding more laundry when he asked me to come down and watch her, so it's not like I was relaxing.

Anyway, didn't meant to ramble. But I can totally relate. It's not that I don't enjoy my days with K, but in the evenings I find it frustrating that I still can't get a minute to myself (just to do laundry!) while D's day is pretty much the same as it was before we had the baby.

Maybe we should both take Skippy's advice and chat with our husbands. I just don't think D knows HOW to help me and I don't want him to feel bad.

 

[pancake]

Oh Mannequin, you poor thing. Since you have been expressing, can your husband maybe give Wes a bottle in the evening so that you can have some sleep before the night shift? I think one of the hardest things for us has been finding the time to still sit down and talk about how D and I are going as a couple. Could you and DH try and snatch even 15 minutes to talk about that? It would give you a chance to try and talk calmly about how you might be able to do things better, and it would give you some protected time to communicate your frustrations (rather than just saying them when they happen). I think some fathers find it hard to understand just how hard it is to be a full-time mum and how hard those witching hours and nights are. Can you divide the witching hours into shifts? Eg. after a feed, could your husband take him until the next feed, and change/soothe him etc?

In terms of Weston's behaviour - it will improve! Babies this age are trying to figure things out - they need to learn how to self-regulate, how to fall asleep, how to stay asleep, what day and night are, etc etc. It will definitely get better! Obviously I can't say this from a BTDT viewpoint because I am figuring it all out at the same time as you, but to put my professional hat on for a moment, the first 12 weeks are the period of most dramatic change in baby behaviour, and things will settle down. It's a matter of getting through the initial blur. Hugs hugs hugs!

Don't worry about not getting anything done. I don't think anybody gets anything done in the first 3 months, from what I can gather!

NEL - ditto on how you view pregnant women! Also, when I was pregnant I felt like I was part of some special "club" - obviously now that I have Sylvie then I feel like a part of an even more special club, but it's different. I'm glad you enjoyed your mothers group - the solidarity is lovely I think.

I totally understand the apprehension about returning to work. I'm only starting back in mid-August, and even then I am feeling queasy about the thought. Especially since these first 5 weeks have just flown by!

LC - it is 1:40pm here and I changed out of my PJs (and into sweats, ha) 30 minutes ago.

PT - re the dummy spit (literal) - does it cause a dummy spit (figurative)? I can just imagine those cheeks expelling that dummy!

AFU - Sylvie is back on the pooing wagon after one day of respite. We're still doing the one-side-per-feed thing, and she seems perfectly satisfied and to be honest, has pooed just as many times today (it's only lunchtime!) as she was before!

Definitely more wakeful during the day in the last week, and definitely harder to settle during the day. I am almost always having to settle her to sleep on me before putting her down (although not at night), which I was doing my best to avoid but I just cannot get around it at the moment. She's also not self-soothing during her day sleeps the way that she was. Oh well... Our nights are still good though, touch wood.

Today I have a research grant due and in an effort to get it done, I stuck her in the Bjorn and she actually settled in it for the first time! I have now just taken her out, wrapped her and put her in her cot, and she slept for about 5 minutes and is now fussing

In other news... it's FRIDAY! That means family time! (D walks in the door after work and the first thing he says is, "Stop! Daddy time!" )

 

[parrot tulips]

MQ - I hope you manage to have a nice talk with your husband about your needs/concerns. Being a mother is exhausting. I don't know exactly how to explain it, but it's not just the physical work that's involved, or even the lack of sleep. It's constantly having to think about the baby and his/her needs, so your mind can never really take a break (and as a result, your body can't really relax). When my husband takes over baby duty, I can switch off that caretaker mode, so doing mindless tasks like laundry or making dinner feels like a break. What helps me, is having my husband give Ava a bottle in the evenings (I breastfeed, so this is her only bottle of the day). Additionally, I've started nudging J awake on weekends when I hear the baby crying or fussing, and ask him to bring her to me. I had started feeling resentful that he was sleeping through the night, and I was up ever few hours feeding and changing the baby, so this was my way of involving him. During the week, I "let" him sleep.

NEL - I understand what you mean about feeling nostalgic about pregnancy. Despite my pregnancy complications, I was actually quite comfortable, so I really got to enjoy most of it. But because of my pregnancy complications, I never got to experience most of the last trimester, so as uncomfortable as it might have been, I feel like I missed out. Still...I'm not sure how eager I am to become pregnant again. Between being an older first time mom, and being advised to speak with a perinatologist before even trying for a second, it all seems so daunting.

AFU - Ava is having a fussy day. I joke that days like this are why babies are so darn cute. It's hard to be mad at such sweet little faces (my sister has a "kittybooth" app).

 

[lliang_chi]

MQ, Yikes! Poor you, my friend! Try tanking up Wes more, maybe he's melting down because he's hungry? I think you have a pretty big guy, kind of like mine. When Ethan had witching hours, it was probably because we weren't feeding him enough. I feed Ethan between 3.5-4oz bottles. Or when he's nursing I also massage my breasts so he gets extra milk. When I do that whilst pumping, in 20 mins I get about 4 oz, so my guess is in 10 mins, Ethan's finished about 2oz. Also in terms of routines, does Wes pass out while nursing? Maybe try changing him before his feeds, so you can put him down afterwards without changing if he's passed out.
I can't wait to see Wes's pics. The reminds me I should order some prints.

PT, LOL about Ava's new "trick." Those chubby cheeks and that angel face, I dunno how you can keep yourself from just staring at her all day...

Skippy, your boys seriously make me wish I had twins. I love how well it looks like they get along in your photos. My sis and I are super close I think E&M are going to be close too. Just look at them!

NEL, Interesting to hear that your DH is anxious about you going back to work. The plus side is you have a really great policy at your company and the whole part time thing is awesome. I say test the waters out when the time comes and see what your opinion is. I shower the night before so at leasgt I've got that going for me. But yeah the PJs and brushing my teeth thing were kind of hit/miss for me since Ethan... I feel the same way about the DH's uni friends how they don't exactly have the same issues as I do. But that's what the wonderful PS community is for. I get so much more insight from here than from anywhere else.

Add me to the list of DH's that really need to lend a hand. I do feel fortunate, DH usually does 2 feedings after he gets home, but his daily routine is definiitely NOT as different as it used to be. I mean he comes home and doesn't even pick up Ethan until 1.5 hours later. During which time he's sleeping or on the internet or something.

My pedi insisted I get Vitamin D drops for Ethan. Does anyone else's Pedi say to supplement Vita D??

Tues was Ethan's 4 wk appt. He got his HepB vaccine, and is at the 75% for weight and 95% for length.

Other that that, we had a REALLY good day today. Ethan behaved totall predicable.

 

[pancake]

LC, were you vitamin D deficient in pregnancy? If so, then Ava should DEFINITELY be on vitamin D supplements (as her levels at birth would correlate with yours) and if not, it is probably reasonable that all breastfed babies are given vitamin D although this is not common practice at the moment. Formula fed babies get plenty from formula (400 units/litre) whereas the amount of vitamin D in breastmilk is negligible (about 25 units/litre). In my case I was deficient in pregnancy AND I'm breastfeeding, so Sylvie is taking 400 units a day - but I am thinking of ditching this and giving her a once-off dose of 50,000 units (which would last about 3 months - so into our winter here).

*takes paediatric endocrinologist hat off*

PT - THOSE CHEEKS, THOSE CHEEKS! I know we all keep going on about it... but omg!


On the DH/division of labour issue - D is really hands on as much as he can be and so I'm really very lucky, but we still have issues. Because he's working full time AND he needs much more sleep than I do, I do the nights on my own from about 10pm during the week. On the weekends he will usually pick Sylvie up overnight and change her maybe once/night (although she typically only wakes at around midnight and then 4am, so it's not too bad for us at the moment) but because of the BFing, it's still mostly me. In normal adult waking hours though, he is very much the primary carer from Friday evening to Monday morning. This is not a solution that would suit everyone (keep in mind my husband is also a paediatrician so we are definitely not representative of the typical new parent couple), but I do think it helps to have the caring roles/times clearly defined. It may be that some DHs don't understand what the expectations are, or they are just a bit all at sea with all the changes. There are so many changes in the relationship and household dynamics, and as a rule most men aren't as emotionally intelligent as women... so they might just need a bit more direction.

But I think it is definitely important to talk it out, and to make specific time/s to do so as otherwise it's all too ad hoc and the time is "unprotected". If there is someone else who can watch the baby for half an hour or 45 minutes between feeds, all the better - then you can go out for a coffee or a walk to discuss it.

We are finding it quite difficult to make time for just us, even though we are thinking about it. Even when we do (and we are lucky that Sylvie's grandparents are able to watch her for us) we often find the discussion coming back to Sylvie, rather than our relationship and the impact of all the changes.

I like this link very much for identifying and discussing relationship issues with the arrival of a newborn: http://tlc.howstuffworks.com/family/how-to-adjust-to-a-newborn.htm

(this was one I found during my 4am Google session a couple of weeks back!)

 

[Mannequin]

Skippy - (((HUGS))) Thanks for your kind words. Took your advice and got the ball rolling on talking this out last night. I can't imagine how tough this would have been with twins - you are an amazing lady!

NEL - I feel your frustrations loud and clear. It is SO difficult not to feel resentful that my life is not my own anymore and my husband is relatively unscathed by parenthood. The lack of sleep, the constant focus on what Weston needs, the physical recovery from childbirth I am still going through - it's enough to make my head spin. I also feel bad about asking DH to help in the wee hours of the morning because he is working. Your man has not done ANY diapers? WOW! I don't recall mine doing more than one dressing session, but he's done a few diapers. He totally owes me for the midnight blowout surprise from Wes last night! This kid hadn't pooped in two days and was obviously saving up - all over his legs, onesie, my nightgown, etc. The learning curve for parenting is daunting for both DH and I - we both have a hard time consistently figuring out what the baby wants and it makes both of us feel incompetent. Three college degrees, two successful professional careers, and a rental home business between the two of us, and we can't get this kid to settle down? Oy!

pancake, PT, LC - SO glad to read all of your posts and know I am NOT the only person going through this. THANK YOU for all your advice and support! Thanks for the link, pancake - I will be sure to watch it today.

As I told DH last night, these have been the most exhausting 3 weeks of my life, at the same time being the best 3 weeks ever. Hubs and I talked last night, and he is realizing that he needs to take a feed in the evenings so that I can get some baby-free time to sleep or relax. Of course, in order to get that time, I have to use my single pump for a total of about 40 minutes during the day (if the baby allows it!) to get enough milk for a bottle, and I could be using those 40 minutes to rest, too. It's a catch-22. It would be nice to have relatives living close by to help give my husband and me a break, but it's at least an hour drive for any of Weston's grandparents to come out here, and then visits end up being extended and we feel like we need to feed and entertain everyone. There are still bugs to work out here, but at least we started the conversation.

The wee man had a decent evening yesterday - I did a bath and nursed him around 8:30. DH gave him a 3 oz bottle around 10 pm and sent me to bed while he held/watched the baby. Weston woke up again around midnight with previously mentioned poopapalooza, so I was up to change and feed him. He's been nursing at least 20 minutes a boob before pulling away and passing out in a milk coma. Sometimes I can get him to wake a bit to try the other boob or attempt burping. Most of the time, he is zonked until I try to put him in the crib. He may wake up at that point (if so, back to the glider for boob #2) or he might relax and snooze, if he doesn't give himself hiccups. He slept on his tummy from about 1-4 am, and then woke to eat again. Back to sleep for another 2.5 hours until Daddy woke him while getting ready for work. He ate and then stayed in his crib long enough for me to shower, though he was awake and screaming when I got out of the bathroom. He's been napping in my Infantino carrier for about an hour now. We're going to attempt some light grocery shopping today, and maybe I will get around to finally grading the student papers I have had in my teacher bag at home here since the day before I went into labor.

Maybe TMI, but yesterday I finally got up the nerve to see how things are healing from my birth experience - I had a regular vaginal birth and had a 2nd degree tear. I knew there would be a lot of work down there because it took the doctor and a resident about twenty minutes to sew me back up. Seeing the extent of the damage and the stitching makes me better understand why I need to take things easy and focus on light activity like walking during this time of healing, even though I am dying to get back to my Jillian Michaels videos and running.

 

[basil]

Hi All!

Congrats to all the new moms! So cute and squishy!

H is almost 8 months now. He's a very happy baby and smiles and laughs all the time. Such a joy! He is trying mightily to crawl but hasn't mastered it yet. He does scoot backwards and turn side to side on his belly, just can't seem to get the forward movement down. He has 2 teeth and is chowing down on everything we offer him.

We're building a house and I'm of course working full time +, so things are busy. And still no formula!

Here are his 7 month pictures. I know I'm biased, but I think he is just so beautiful!

 

[Skippy123]

BASIL, awww your little guy is sooooo Adorable! I can't believe how much he has grown; please post more pics more often! Happy 8 months; he looks like such a sweetheart and charmer!! hehe

PT, oh AVA and those cheeks of hers! I would just smooch them over and over and try to gobble them up; she is such a doll!!! haha I have said that too! Thank goodness they are made cute or we might eat them (that is what my hubby says).

MQ, I am so glad you rested last night and your hubby did a feed. These first few months are the hardest; everything you are saying I was feeling but I promise it slowly gets better. Also people want to help and don't feel you need to entertain them; you can always make it up to them later (a year down the road), I bet they completely understand as they were parents to newborns too! huge hugs to you! Oh and I remember maybe a couple of months after the babies were both home I wanted to cry because I thought my life would never be what it use to be; a bit true but also it does get easier and you will start doing some of the old things (like dinner and movies) down the road! You are doing a great job!!!

LC, awww, I bet you and your sister are wonderful friends; I love that!!! You will have to share stories w/me about when you two were little! Evan and Miles do love each other. Miles is funny and loves to sit on Evan (I don't allow it and get after Miles) but I think Miles loves his brother so that is his way of saying, I love you. It is super cute when they are sitting in the high chairs and reach for each others hands! Also when I am pushing them in the stroller they make sounds to each other and they also make sounds to each other in their cribs in the morning. When I walk in they are smiling at each other (they have their own crib) but they can see each other! Great job momma for such a healthy baby; he is a doll!!!

NEL, I was super uncomfortable preggo (I felt awful the whole time); if I had to describe it it would be that I felt like a log and my breath was taken away from me (I was always winded). lol anyway, I always said during pregnancy I would never miss it but now I do!!! I miss the baby kicks and knowing an incredible life is growing. I still look at my boys in amazement that they were in me! Do you do that with your gorgeous daughter? My husband teases me about how amazed I am but it really is amazing/fabulous/wonderful to grow a little life!

Pancake, I am glad your hubby is a great support! awww i love that he said stop, daddy time! Now I have that song in my head! hehe Your hubby sounds sweet!


hugs mommas! You sound like you are doing well with your beautiful babies! I love reading all your posts because they remind me of my newborns and a lot of memories I almost forgot, so thank you! I will say before the babies were born my husband told our friends and family he would never change a diaper. I guess with twins he was sort of forced into it! Anyway, in the early days I had a day where I just cried and felt overwhelmed and had a heart to heart and so my husband took the 9pm feed and 12 pm feed so I could sleep until they woke at 2 or 3am; do let your hubby's (partners) know what you need. They might need instructions or some showing (like diaper) changes but they will get it and be changing diapers like my husband. Also, in a few months they will be sleeping longer stretches; sending lots of sleeping dust your way and hugs for being such awesome mommas!!! Looking forward to more pics!!! please

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Skippy, thanks so much for the encouraging words. You've always been such a sweetheart and I love reading your posts and seeing pics of your boys. I talked with D last night about how I sometimes feel like I'm hitting a wall. The thing is, he's genuinely happy to help, he's just scared of hurting her. So I can ask him to change a diaper and then have to reassure him for 10 minutes that the baby is fine, that he didn't hurt her, or I can do it myself in 30 seconds. Still, he's getting better every day (and is holding her now as I pump and she fusses).

I know your pregnancy was not an easy one (twins are never easy!). My pregnancy was only painful at the end, but I feel like I've already forgotten it. I miss the kicks, hiccups and movement, too. I'm sure that if/when I get pregnant again, I'll be cursing the third trimester shooting crotch pain and thinking "why did I miss this?!"

Basil, H is adorable!! Look at those teeth!! How is the house coming along??

MQ, I'm glad you are having a decent night fairly often, even if not every night. The nighttime poopapaloozas are the worst (we had one last night). How did the light grocery shopping go? K loves the grocery store if I wear her. I think the lights are extra interesting.

I didn't have a vaginal delivery, but seeing my nether-region in that state would probably make me sweat a little!

Pancake, it sounds like you and D have pretty much worked things out, or at least are really open to talking through it (which I think is most important). I don't think any type of work, whether it be caring for a baby, cooking/cleaning, working/salaries, etc. can ever be 100% equal, but if you both play to each other's strengths and are 100% committed (which you are), then it will work out as best as possible.

LC, my pedi didn't think I needed vitamin D because I was supplementing with formula (and still am). My next appt. isn't until the 2 month mark but now I sort of wish I'd scheduled a 1 month appt.!

It's good that your husband takes a couple of feedings. It really does help just to get 15 -20 minutes on your own without worrying about the baby. My mother jokes that she had absolutely no help from my father when I was born. He couldn't even look at a poopy diaper without gagging. But when I got a little older we did things together ALL the time.

PT, ha, that pic of A is hilarious! And I can understand the thought of another pregnancy being overwhelming for you. If I'd gone through what you did, I'd have been a mess. A is so adorable and tiny--there is no need to think about another baby right now!

AFU,

1. I'm about to go take a shower in my own shower right now! This makes me happy--during the week (when D isn't around), I shower in the tiny shower in the main floor so that I'm closer to K. I always bump my head while bending over to shave because it's so cramped.

2. We're going to look at a piano today. More discussions will ensue.

3. I feel like we're hitting milestones every day. First, I ran out of newborn-sized diapers, so I just started using my size 1s. Since they fit, I don't think we'll buy any more newborn diapers. Sad! Second, I took the bassinet out of her pack and play. She didn't like it, so now she just sleeps in the pack and play. Third, I bought some bigger bottles yesterday because she's consistently taking 4 oz. and I've been using 4oz. bottles until now. I needed some bigger bottles for when she starts wanting 5oz.

Not sure if I should continue the slow-flow nipples (Avent nipples--just one hole) or if i should start trying the bigger 2-hold nipples.

 

[parrot tulips]

NEL - We use Avent bottles too. Ava let us know when she was ready for the size 2 nipples. We noticed her starting to fuss and fight feedings after only 2oz, so we tried the next nipple size, and she was so much happier. No more squirming, and much more volume getting consumed (4-5 oz as opposed to 2-2.5oz). So exciting, albeit a little sad too, to watch them grow and hit these milestones. While they may be too heavy to carry around before we know it, I can't wait to see the expression on Ava's face the first time we take a trip to the zoo, or to Disneyland.

 

[lliang_chi]

Pancake, no I wasn't Vitamin D deficient during pregnancy and the doctors never did any blood work (that I know of) that shows Ethan has a vitamin D deficiency. But if it won't do anything then I'll just give him the drops anyway. Per the supplement directions I'm giving him 1ml a day, I drop it into a bullet of breast milk and feed him that separately.
Sounds like you do a great job splitting childcare with your DH. That's fantastic. On the weekends, DH and I split the overnight wakings 50/50. But during the week, I take the early AM ones and he usually does the last feed before we go to bed (we go to bed late, 11:30-12AM) .

MQ, I'm glad you were able to talk to your DH. It sounds like he's willing to take on more and just give you some baby-free time. Yikes, sorry to hear about your tear. I had a c-section, so different type of recovery, but I totally hear ya on focusing on recovering rather than getting back to our old life.

Basil, Hayden looks so grown up! I can't believe he's so big! How's things going at work too. Wow, you're totally a BTDT mama if you've got him in overalls! I"m still in the onesie/sleepers, not brave enough to put him in a whole separate pair of pants.

Skippy, My sis and I are the closest. When we were little we used to get in all sorts of mischief since we had a partner in crime. And my mom said she had to feed us back-to-back in high chairs because we used to play with our food and get each other messy. But other than that, we were always there for each other and like I said the closest and best of friends. To the point that our brother and even our mom felt "left out."

NEL, So glad D is willing to try to help. It seems like he just needs to build his confidence in his caring abilities and he'll be a old hat at it. Until then, I guess it's just patience. Is Katie taking 4oz at each feeding?!? Wow! Ethan's doing 3.5oz or there abouts.

AFU, I think I figured out how to nurse Ethan. He keeps falling in to a milk coma and then wakes up an hr later. So now I let him nurse for 3-5 mins, and just as he's starting to coma, I pick him upright or try to burp him so he wakes up. If I wait too long he'll totally go comatose and I can't wake him for anything. The downside it takes 45min - 1hr to nurse him that way. It's a process... But this morning he was able to 3.5 hrs since I started nursing.

OK he's up again, time to nurse again... It takes SO LONG!

~LC

 

[Skippy123]

just a quick pic of Evan and Miles
hugs!

NEL, I am glad your hubby is helping and changing diapers and you got to take a shower in the better bathroom. hugs!

LC, aww your sis and you sound so sweet to each other! I hope the nursing gets quicker; I am glad you found what works for you and E!

 

[Loves Vintage]

Skippy!!!!!!!! Evan and Miles just couldn't be any cuter!!!!! Sooooooo sweet and FUN!!!!

 

[lliang_chi]

Skippy! I can't handle all the cuteness your boys make! I can't believe they're 11 months!!! They're looking like little boys now, not quite so baby anymore. It must make you so happy and sad at the same time.

Today I'm going ot meet my friend up for brunch. She had her son very early, somewehre around 26 wks. Our sons were supposed to be a 2.5 months apart. Anyway, so that's our big field trip today (me and Ethan).

Going to wake up the little man and tank him up now so he's all cute and sleepy and well behaved during brunch. I'd hate to be "that mom" who's baby makes a scene....

 

[janinegirly]

Basil: Hi!! And what a cutie you have...he's like a little Collin Farrel! And I hear you on life being busy. Wow on being that busy and still no formula (can't say the same here)..

PT: Awww on Ava. And just wait until the toddler years..then you will truly understand the purpose of their cuteness!

Skippy: Adorable!!

NEL: keep us posted on the piano! Where are you looking?

AFM: for those with babies 5-6 months, how much are they eating? Ounces of milk? A is starting on solids and it's harder to track the milk. She sometimes attacks the cereal and other days not so much.

Also on athe topic of feeding, what are you all choosing for a high chair? With #1 I had the Rainforest FP chair which I loathed. When we had a flooded basement I happily tossed it. No offense to anyone who has it, it was just too busy and big a footprint for me. So now I'm looking at the FP spacesaver, but then of course getting tempted by the Stokke and Oxo Highchair...

 

[CDNinNYC]

Just a quick drive-by as I'm out but, janinegirly, we have the stokke and lurve it! Will post more on it later.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Janine, the piano was at a local piano store and was on consignment. D liked it, but didn't love it, so he's still thinking about it. It's 7 feet and I rearranged the furniture in the formal living room to make sure something that size would fit. It does, but I'd still like something smaller!

We haven't bought a high chair, but when we do, I think we might go with the Boon Flair. Pancake won the Stokke, I believe, but obviously she won't be using it for a bit.

LC, woohoo for progress with nursing Ethan!! Katie isn't taking 4oz. at each feeding, but she consistently takes 4oz. a couple of times a day. Usually it's the morning (7 - 8am) feeding and the first evening (5pm) feeding--before we start the cluster feeeding. The nighttime feedings and middle of the day feedings are usually still around 3 oz.

How did brunch go??

PT, thanks for the nipple transition insight. K really seemed to be sucking hard on her bottle, so I thought maybe it was time to try the next size. But when I tried them, she seemed a little overwhelmed (big gulps) and she spit up after her bottle, so maybe it was too much too fast. I've gone back to the slow flow and will probably wait until she's more fussy with the feedings.

Skippy, those pics are SOOOOO cute!! You have such handsome boys!!

AFU, question: is there anything more terrifying than cutting a newborn's nails? Answer: NO!

The first time I tried cutting Katie's nails was the week after we got home from the hospital. They were pretty long and I thought she might poke herself in the eye. I clipped one nail with the clippers, nearly had a heart attack and then bit the rest of her nails as a trimming solution. I'm a recovered nail biter, so I considered myself an expert.

About 10 days after that, they needed trimming again. That time I worked up the nerve to clip them with clippers and it was fine.

Fast forward to today. They need trimming, so this morning I resolved to clip them. But then I pinched the tip of her ring finger with the clippers!! Thank the lord no blood was drawn, but she cried pretty hard and then i started crying because I'd caused her pain and it was very traumatic for both of us. Poor baby girl--her finger is completely fine now, but I can't bring myself to try again. I guess I'm going to file them or something.

 

[janinegirly]

CDNinNYC: Thanks, can't wait to hear more! How does it work without a tray for when they are just learning to eat?

NEL: piano shopping sounds fun - we have it on the list too and a spot in the LR for it. With 2 girls I think it' makes sense although I just know it'll probably end up gathering dust like my grandmother's did (which went to my aunt). Alot of PS'ers love athe BOON,-for me I want something wood based to blend (and one which can grow with the child). And if not, I would like it to be disposable and small!! And you'll have to worry about it before you know it!

As for nail clipping, trust me - it happens to every mom! I did it with DD1 and just felt awful. Did it once with A and stil felt awful but didn't freak out as much. I know they say you can file, bite them or use the baby scissors but none of them do the trick! My A's nails grow like crazy (is it something in the formula??) and scratches everyone like a little cat so I have to cut them almost weekly. But only one nip is almost like a rite of passage and I haven't done it since..I've learned new tactics for distraction and pull the nail back to be SURE, but it is close to impossible, I swear! And cutting toenails while they kick like mad is another fun challenge, lol.

Oh and does anyone else's LO's not like the bumbo? A has the fattest legs/calves she practically gets suctioned in, and then back arches and it all goes down hill. Hence the accelerated search for a high chair..

 

[pancake]

NEL, don't feel bad about the clipper incident - it happens to so many mums and babies! I was petrified of cutting Sylvie's nails so to begin with I used my crystal nail file, but then I bought the Tommy Tippee scissors and they are really good. I usually use clippers on my own nails but I think it's much harder to do damage with the scissors. When she was first born the tips of her nails were adherent to the tips of her fingers sort of - they curled over - and then when they detached I found they just peeled away. But after that I went with the file for a while. It works but the scissors are much faster.

Re the piano - I'm so envious! I know you're not 100% keen but I would LOVE an upright, let alone a baby grand.

D and my sharing of the parenting arrangement is not perfect by any means and we still have issues from time to time but it works for us and I think it is pretty good. But I think the one thing we really have going for us is that we make time to talk about it, and we make a dedicated time once a week to talk about how we are going as a couple. Sounds trite and corny I know, but we are finding it's becoming increasingly important.

Janine - I won the Leander chair, which is similar to the Stokke Tripp Trapp but it's more curved and it doesn't have a tray attachment. Friends of ours have the Tripp Trapp and LOVE it though. I also have another one that my in-laws gave us, which is heavily padded and quite luxe, and has wheels - I wouldn't have bought this myself but we will definitely use it! Then we also have the ubiquitous plastic Ikea chair which so many people swear by. It is SUPER easy to clean and really durable. If you're thinking of getting the Stokke I don't think you'll be disappointed though, as long as you don't want wheels or easy folding etc (and don't mind paying the $$ for all the accessories).

LC - YAY for nursing success! I can imagine it must feel SO slow after bottling for ages, but he just needs to get the hang of it and then he'll get faster. Sylvie currently just takes one side per feed and only takes 15 minutes, so not too bad! Fingers crossed things continue to get easier for you guys from here! How was your meet-up with your friend and her baby?

Skippyyyyyyyyyyy your photos are like one continuous pro baby shoot! I LOVE seeing your pics, your little men are such sparky, happy guys

Mannequin - how have you guys been faring these last few days? Hope things have been a bit better.

Basil - Hayden is gorgeous, I cannot believe he is already coming up to 8 months!! Handsome little guy.

AFU, we are going well. Sylvie went to her first big family party (with D's extended family last night) last night and was quite the hit. She was asleep when we arrived, but then woke up about an hour later and was perfectly happy being passed around for cuddles and attention. D's cousins kids LOVE her, it was so cute! There are 4 of them under 4, and they were so excited, stroking her hair and talking about being gentle etc.

I am having a bit of a tough time at the moment, but not because of anything to do with S. My aunt has been diagnosed with advanced ovarian cancer (and she's in Vietnam, so awful healthcare system), my parents are starting to talk about settling after their separation 4 years ago (!) but it's looking complicated... and the most stressful thing is that my father has been having abdominal pain for a few months and after a whole raft of investigations, a CT scan has shown up a mass in his left lung which I am almost certain is going to be cancerous. He has a PET scan tomorrow and a bronchoscopy sometime in the next week, but it's just on my mind all the time at the moment. We have a strange dynamic, definitely not a "father-daughter relationship" - he made my life very hard for a really long time; we're only just working out how to relate again now and it's still pretty fragile. But even with all the difficulties, he's still my father...

Anyway. Sorry to be a downer; I hope people don't mind me talking about it here. It's just hard because the only person who knows irl is D, and I can't really talk to anyone else about it at the moment as it's still not fully sorted. Also, my main confidante (apart from D) is my mum and their relationship is so acrimonious that it's just not an option to talk to her.

On a happier note, here are some photos of our girl Still feel overwhelmed by how much I love her, she fills my days with joy.

Centre of attention at her first party:


Chatting to her furry mobile friends:


Happy little girl:


Oh hi guys!!

 

[CDNinNYC]

I'm back.

We went with the Stokke for a number of reasons. It's stylish, lightweight, and doesn't take up too much space in our tiny apartment. I love that it's wood and matches our dining table. It scoots right into the table (which acts as the tray), and allows Isla to 'eat' at the table with us.

It's also great to clean. We looked at other chairs with a bunch of nooks and crannies that would make cleaning difficult.

There are extras that you may consider getting. We didn't want the cushion (figured it was one more thing to clean) but did get the baby set (free as part of a promotion).

I had also read the harness system helps with balance as does the movable footrest, which is great when they are learning to sit on their own.

Hope that helps. Let me know if you have any other questions.

PS: I'm loving all the baby photos! I know it's been said many times before buy PS babies are the cutest!

PPS: No time to look back but I think I read someone was asking about a new camera? I got the Nikon D5100 over Christmas and love, love, love it! I've been getting a lot of compliments on my photos of Isla, although I have to admit she deserves all the credit.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

CDNinNYC, thanks for the Stokke insight. I'm definitely going to consider it given all the perks.

Pancake, I'm going to order the scissors. I'm putting together an order of a few things I need. I'll have to figure something out until they arrive. Our pediatrician told us she cut her own son's finger--it does seem like everybody has a nail-clipping story. I'm still glad I didn't actually slice her finger. They're so tiny that it could be very bad!

Adorable smiley pics! We JUST started getting social smiles over the past few days. It makes my heart beam! I tried taking pics this morning, but every time I put the camera up, the smile faded.

I am very sorry to hear about your aunt and your father. Coping with sickness in an unstable relationships is very, very hard. I wish I could say something helpful and insightful, but I can't. I'm just so sorry you're going through this Do keep us updated.

Janine, I know that for a piano to keep its tone, it has to be played regularly. That's one of the reasons I'm opposed to it now, so I can understand not wanting something that will collect dust. Not to mention that our house isn't huge, so it's real estate that can be used by toys K can actually USE!

You make a very good point about the Boon. I also like that the Stokke is wood. The Stokke would probably work better in our house.

AFU, K was fussy today so I swaddled her (which she usually hates), put her in her pack and play and turned on the vacuum. She fell asleep instantly.

 

[pancake]

NEL, thank you for the kind thoughts. I did end up talking to one of my friends about it yesterday and that helped. I feel quite conflicted about the situation with my father; I know I don't "owe" him anything and I haven't forgotten what happened in the past, but I do feel strongly that nobody should have to go through this alone and so my brain is racing ahead thinking about future contingencies... Anyway, my friend talked me through quite a bit of that and said that ultimately, my top priority has to be my baby and our little family, and whatever I can do for my father once D and S are taken care of is well and good, but that I shouldn't take on responsibility for helping him beyond a) what I feel comfortable with, and b) what I can do once my husband and baby and our life together are taken into consideration - I shouldn't feel obliged to drop everything to help my dad.

So... waiting and seeing.

Re the piano - is there a particular reason why your DH wants one NOW? You make a very good point about pianos gathering dust... and then they are a hassle to maintain and restore if they are not played for that long. I grew up with a piano in our house, but my parents didn't purchase it until I was about to begin lessons.

CDN - thanks for the camera rec, it was me who was asking! I was tossing up between the D5100 and the Canon 550D, and ended up going with the Canon just because the interface is so familiar to me (all my compact cameras have been Canons).

AFU, we had our usual night (3.5-4.5 hourly feeds, good sleep). I have started expressing a little after feeds - only on the side(s) that S feeds on, I don't want to stimulate my supply any further at the moment. I got 20ml off one side yesterday, 35ml this morning. Not too bad considering S has her fill first! Also, I had a couple of lumps yesterday (they were quite painful!) so I had to switch Sylvie's feeding position around a bit to make sure those ducts got drained. All seems well at the moment - touch wood! Lucky for me S doesn't seem to care what position I put her in (football hold, madonna hold, side-lying) as long as there is a milk-filled boob available!!

 

[Skippy123]

NEL, my hubby accidentally clipped Evan's skin from his finger; he bled and my hubby felt soooooo bad. I filed them when they were little like that and clipped what I could see, maybe do it when she is sleeping? I am sorry. thanks about the boys! We need more pics! hugs momma. darn those tiny sweet fingers!

PANCAKE, awwww she is a doll, no wonder she was the center of attention!!! I am so sorry about your Aunt; I will keep her in my thoughts and prayers. hugs thanks about the boys!

JANINE, Mara and a bunch of the other mommas recommended the FP space saver high chair; we have 2 of them for the boys. I really like them. I just keep a towel under them and wash the towel as needed. They are cheap too on Amazon; I think they were 25 or 30? At 5 or 6 months (adjusted age) the amount of baby food varied; the doctor said try to go for 2 tablespoons after their bottles so that is what we did. thanks!!!!

LC, how did brunch go? thanks about my boys!

LV, I miss you in this thread!!! How is S and you? she is such a beauty! thank you so much for your uber sweet words!!!

 

[lliang_chi]

Hey Ladies,

Sorry for going MIA! Brunch was great! I tanked Ethan up and headed out there. He slept through 80% of brunch. When he woke up he needed a change, then he let my friend hold him for a good while. Then he had some more milk and he was totally fine. Yay! I was so relieved.

NEL, aw, don't sweat Katie's nails! I clip Ethan's when he goes into milk coma and he's out like a light. Aw, I just want to nibble on these tiny fingers! Except when they're scratching my already tender boobs... LOL! Well, sounds like Miss K has quite the appetite! Ethan doesn't quite get up to 4 oz ever. I tried pushing him to it but he's happy at a consistent 3-3.5 oz (90-110ml) and nothing more. Not sure what he gets when he nurses though.

Skippy, Does the FP trays fit in your dishwasher? And how does it attach to the chairs? I have all leather dining chairs, kind of like this one: http://www.crateandbarrel.com/furniture/dining-chairs/folio-chocolate-leather-side-chair/f3396..... I didn't get mine from C&B, but its the same style, all leather with no "holes" in it.

Pancake, hugs. I'm sorry you're dealing with news about your aunt and your dad. Your friend has very wise advice. Your primary focus is your little family, and you can help your dad but not to the detriment of yourself or your family. I can't do any other nursing hold except cross cradle. I guess I haven't practiced or I just don't bother. For my lumps I usually massage them as E is nursing or I massage them out during pumping sessions.

Janine, I like the Stokke Tripp Trapp also but I don't like how all the other parts come separate. I found on Amazon they have Keekaroo, which is like a Tripp Trapp but not quite. I think I might get that when it comes time to get a high chair. I'm reading The Baby Whisperer re: solids & milk, they said to replace oz of milk with solids. E.g. if she's eating 1 oz of purees, then nix 1 oz of milk.

 

[Skippy123]

LC, awwww I love that belly and look at that adorable baby yawn, what a doll!!! The PF has a strap behind the back so it clips around the top part and straps around the seat; you can adjust it. It is great and you can take it with you to restaurants if you like; we don't but you can. It does fit in our dishwasher, you take off the cover. this is the one we bought and I know others who like the second one in green/purple http://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Healthy-Deluxe-Booster-White/dp/B001GQ2RWQ/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1332964025&sr=8-3

and this would be nice too for extra support
http://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Space-Saver-Chair-Scatterbug/dp/B005IWM99K/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1332964025&sr=8-1

you can put it on camelcamelcamel to price watch it? Sometimes the prices come down.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

LC, Amen to your "baby hands are cute when they're not scratching my tender boobs" sentiment. When K's nails scratch my nipple, I want to cry. I really like that Keekaroo! And I'm so glad brunch went well! Those pics of Ethan are adorable, I want to tickle his little belly!

Skippy, your husband must have felt so bad about nipping Evan's finger! My own pediatrician admitted to doing the same thing. She had to bring her baby to the ER.

Pancake, how are you feeling? These past few days have been rough for you (emotionally). Glad you took care of the lumpy breasts--that happens to me, too, even with the pumping. With all of the massaging I do to my boobs, they've never been handled so much in their life.

AFU, I took K into the office today and she got to meet all of my coworkers. She was awake, but not too fussy, so that was good. It was nice to see everybody again, but I was also glad to come home

Mom group was on Tuesday, but we're hoping to meet again for a walk tomorrow. One of the girls in the group yesterday had an 11-day old and she looked so teeny tiny. And she was soooo sleepy--the rest of us were trying to entertain our alert babies, haha.