Ladies - Did you change your last name?

[asscher_girl]

Yes, I really didn't consider not taking it. One day I asked DH about changing my name and he said he would be fine either way, whatever made me happy Not that I wouldn't, I was just curious if it was important to him. It did take me about 8 months to get it done though, I was so busy with work I didn't have time. I'm so glad I did it, I love sharing our last name together.

 

[Jennifer W]

I didn't change my name, I was 30 and established in my career and my qualifications were in my family name. Really however because it was MY name. I do have children, I don't think it has really caused any difficulty or confusion. People seem to cope. My kids have my husbands surname. Sometimes I do get called my first name husband second name by school etc and that is OK

I think my husband did sort of expect I would change my name, but didn't care enough to make a big fuss and has long ago got over it.

As another poster has noted it is older female relatives who have made more of a deal of it. They like to ignore my decision and behave as if I did as they thought I should have. This is 10 years later.

Recently my lovely and supportive mother in law wrote me a bank cheque using my first name husband second name, I couldn't deposit to my bank account and had to give it back to her!

The Mrs husband first name husband second name really bothers me. One of my aunts likes to do this . Both me and my husband are Dr but she still uses Dr and Mrs husband first name husband second name. She doesn't think women should do paid work after marriage, with or without children.

I did have a couple of relatives who loved to do this, to underscore their disapproval. Eventually, I put the envelopes back in the mail with 'return to sender, not known at this address' written on them. That stopped it.

 

[jeweln]

I have been married for 27 years and I have kept my maiden name .did not like the idea of losing my identity .
what if a woman marries & divorces several times then she will have to change her name each time which is not practical .what if she does not like the husband's name or its meaning ? she should not be forced to take it .

 

[amertrine]

I did have a couple of relatives who loved to do this, to underscore their disapproval. Eventually, I put the envelopes back in the mail with 'return to sender, not known at this address' written on them. That stopped it.

LOVE IT!

 

[usnwife]

I just added his name behind mine, so I legally have 2 last names no hyphen. This solved all of our problems as all my premarriage stuff is still valid, and we still share a last name. The best thing is Mrs. Mine His is not the same name as my MIL Mrs.His.

 

[stephbolt]

I did change my name. I liked the idea of DH and I sharing a family name with our future children, and did not have any professional ties to my maiden name. I did move my maiden name to the MN slot because it means more to me than my previous MN.

The Mrs husband first name husband second name really bothers me. One of my aunts likes to do this . Both me and my husband are Dr but she still uses Dr and Mrs husband first name husband second name. She doesn't think women should do paid work after marriage, with or without children.

This drives me insane too! It's mostly MIL and other people on DH's side of the family who send stuff to "Mr. and Mrs. his first last, or even worse just Mrs. his first last. I still have a first name, and I prefer to be addressed by it!

 

[Clio]

I added his last name on and use my maiden name as a middle name. Mostly that's for publications and work stuff. When introducing myself, I'd just say Clio Lastname.

I had no real preference one way or another, and he had a mild preference for my taking his name, so I did. It was pretty easy, and I haven't regretted it in 15+ years. I like having a family name.

Among my high school friends, I'd say that about 90% changed their names. For my college friends, it's closer to 50%.

 

[Clairitek]

This is the first name change discussion I've seen on PS where the majority of the posters either hyphenated or didn't change at all. Interesting. I think it's because it is in Hangout and not BWW.

I hyphenated. It was the happy medium in my mind. I did not receive pressure or opinions from my DH. I knew my father (very close to my parents) had an opinion about the expectation that women would change their name. He thinks its weird and unfair. I also think he wanted me to still be known by my maiden name since its the one I share with him.

A few months after I got married I decided to change to Claire Maiden Married. No hyphen. I went to the SS office to make the change and had an emotional breakdown while trying to fill out the forms. I actually wrote out that name and it felt all sorts of wrong. Then factor in the fact that I knew my dad would be sad about it (though he never told me so, I just figured it out on my own) just made it hard to accept being known as Claire Married.

So I left the office and drove the hour to work. On the way I called DH and asked him if he was OK with our kids having a hyphenated name. He said it wasn't an issue. I asked him if he wanted to hyphenate, which he declined. I totally respected that. Its his name! I went to the SS office closer to my work and changed my name to Claire MothersMaiden Maiden-Married. I didn't have a middle name growing up and I really identify with my mother's side of the family (the only family members I'm close to with my father's last name are him and his parents). So now it sounds like I have three last names!

Like some others I do get mail addressed to me as Mrs HisFirst Married or Mrs Claire Married with no hyphen or evidence of my single girl name. Actually, one of my "close friends" is one of the biggest offenders with this. I think next time that happens I'm going to do what Jennifer did and write "Return to sender. Not known at this address." on it and stick it in the mail. My MIL thankfully has gotten the clue that I do not like being Mrs HisFirst Married. I'm not sure if DH said something or if she observed that I always write out my name and then his name on the second line of a return address space when we mail things to them. As a joke, my mother will send stuff to Dr and Mr Maiden-Married (I have a PhD). DH laughs.

To the OP: I'm sorry that your FI doesn't respect that your name is YOUR NAME and not his. I hope he comes around on the issue and learns that you're not snubbing his family by not taking his family last name. You're just being you, which includes sticking with the name you were born with.

 

[monkeyprincess]

I took my husband's last name and really had no second thoughts about doing it because I did not identify strongly with my common last name, sharing a last name with my husband signified our union to me, and I knew it would simplify things when we have children. That said, I can understand why a lot of woman are opposed to changing their name and feel like it is part of their identity. The ironic thing to me is most women who keep their maiden name have their father's last name. So regardless of whether you take your husband's name or keep your father's last name, the whole system is paternalistic. I don't know what the solution is because even if everybody hyphenated their names, you still have decide which name comes first, and then when your daughters get married and have children, they are going to have to drop at least one of the hyphenated names or risk having crazy long surnames. I went with the simple, traditional approach, and although it was strange at first, I don't have any regrets.

 

[Jennifer W]

I suppose I don't much care if it's paternalistic. I can cope with that. I don't care where I got the name from, only that it is mine. I'll die with the name I got when I was born, regardless of the source of that name.

 

[Amys Bling]

So interesting to hear everyone's thoughts on this...

 

[Pandora II]

I was thrilled to swap my very distinctive, long, hyphenated surname for his short, more anonymous one.

Growing up in the UK with a hypenated surname everyone automatically assumed I was rich/posh/snobby before they even met me - nowadays hypenated surnames are more common due to the number of single parents/people who just live together so it's probably not as bad, but even so I wouldn't inflict it on my children.

Maybe I'm old-fashioned but I wanted us to all have the same surname. I also cannot bear to be addressed as 'Ms', I am 'Mrs'.

In my last job I sent out a lot of formal mail - faced with upsetting people whichever way I addressed things I decided to upset whilst being academically correct so I sent invitations to Mr and Mrs John Smith.

For all those who are hypenating now, I'll be interested to see what your future children do - if they also decide to merge names do they have 4 barrelled or do they pick the half they like best of does daddy's name take precedence over mummy's?

 

[Jennifer W]

I was thrilled to swap my very distinctive, long, hyphenated surname for his short, more anonymous one.

Growing up in the UK with a hypenated surname everyone automatically assumed I was rich/posh/snobby before they even met me - nowadays hypenated surnames are more common due to the number of single parents/people who just live together so it's probably not as bad, but even so I wouldn't inflict it on my children.

Maybe I'm old-fashioned but I wanted us to all have the same surname. I also cannot bear to be addressed as 'Ms', I am 'Mrs'.

In my last job I sent out a lot of formal mail - faced with upsetting people whichever way I addressed things I decided to upset whilst being academically correct so I sent invitations to Mr and Mrs John Smith.

For all those who are hypenating now, I'll be interested to see what your future children do - if they also decide to merge names do they have 4 barrelled or do they pick the half they like best of does daddy's name take precedence over mummy's?

I have the opposite. I do not answer to Mrs. It makes my skin crawl and sets my teeth on edge. I have no idea why it horrifies me so much, but I have a most visceral reaction to it. I correct it every time, it's like a reflex. It makes me spit and snarl.

 

[amc80]

Among my high school friends, I'd say that about 90% changed their names. For my college friends, it's closer to 50%.

That's crazy. I only have two friends that didn't completely change their names, and they hyphenated.

 

[Laila619]

That said, I can understand why a lot of woman are opposed to changing their name and feel like it is part of their identity. The ironic thing to me is most women who keep their maiden name have their father's last name. So regardless of whether you take your husband's name or keep your father's last name, the whole system is paternalistic.

I know, the whole thing is really pretty archaic. It's like you're either "property" of your father, or your husband. Either way, very paternalistic. I like my husband more than my dad so I switched, haha.

 

[star sparkle]

As someone who was born with a hyphenated last name, I absolutely hate it. My name has always been long and arduous to write, nobody ever understands, and 26 years later I'm just over it. I distinctly remember my days in grade school, sitting at my desk and looking at my name tag, and thinking "I can't wait to get married so I can have a regular, easy last name!"

Additionally, after got into my 20's and started my career, people I just meet always assume I'm married, and that bothers me. I frequently get things like "oh, and what does your husband do?" I say I'm not married, thankyouverymuch, and they say they assumed I was because of my hyphenated last name. Um, no.

Lastly, and even though I can't wait to be rid of my current last name, I feel a tad resentful that I don't even really have the option of hyphenating or keeping my last name as my middle if I felt the inclination to do so. If I think my name is obnoxious and a mouthful right now, there's no way I'd be able to handle First Middle Current-HyphenatedLast NewLast, or some variation thereof. That probably is what bothers me most. If I currently had a single last name, I'd keep it in a heartbeat as my middle name and take future DH's as a last. But nope, can't do it. I guess I'm resentful because I'd have liked that to be a decision *I* got to make for myself, not a decision that my parents essentially made FOR me by giving me this cumbersome last name I currently have.

 

[Octavia]

I was thrilled to swap my very distinctive, long, hyphenated surname for his short, more anonymous one.

Growing up in the UK with a hypenated surname everyone automatically assumed I was rich/posh/snobby before they even met me - nowadays hypenated surnames are more common due to the number of single parents/people who just live together so it's probably not as bad, but even so I wouldn't inflict it on my children.

Maybe I'm old-fashioned but I wanted us to all have the same surname. I also cannot bear to be addressed as 'Ms', I am 'Mrs'.

In my last job I sent out a lot of formal mail - faced with upsetting people whichever way I addressed things I decided to upset whilst being academically correct so I sent invitations to Mr and Mrs John Smith.

For all those who are hypenating now, I'll be interested to see what your future children do - if they also decide to merge names do they have 4 barrelled or do they pick the half they like best of does daddy's name take precedence over mummy's?

I have the opposite. I do not answer to Mrs. It makes my skin crawl and sets my teeth on edge. I have no idea why it horrifies me so much, but I have a most visceral reaction to it. I correct it every time, it's like a reflex. It makes me spit and snarl.

Jennifer, I love the way you describe things -- I feel exactly the same way but couldn't put it in such expressive terms.

I suppose I don't much care if it's paternalistic. I can cope with that. I don't care where I got the name from, only that it is mine. I'll die with the name I got when I was born, regardless of the source of that name.

And I totally agree with this, too.

 

[OCgirl]

I was thrilled to swap my very distinctive, long, hyphenated surname for his short, more anonymous one.

Growing up in the UK with a hypenated surname everyone automatically assumed I was rich/posh/snobby before they even met me - nowadays hypenated surnames are more common due to the number of single parents/people who just live together so it's probably not as bad, but even so I wouldn't inflict it on my children.

Maybe I'm old-fashioned but I wanted us to all have the same surname. I also cannot bear to be addressed as 'Ms', I am 'Mrs'.

In my last job I sent out a lot of formal mail - faced with upsetting people whichever way I addressed things I decided to upset whilst being academically correct so I sent invitations to Mr and Mrs John Smith.

For all those who are hypenating now, I'll be interested to see what your future children do - if they also decide to merge names do they have 4 barrelled or do they pick the half they like best of does daddy's name take precedence over mummy's?

I have the opposite. I do not answer to Mrs. It makes my skin crawl and sets my teeth on edge. I have no idea why it horrifies me so much, but I have a most visceral reaction to it. I correct it every time, it's like a reflex. It makes me spit and snarl.

I was just talking to my friend yesteray. She said it creeps her out when someone addresses her as Mrs. ______. She said she merrily responds to people when they call her Miss _______.

I don't think that many people address me with a Miss in the front anyway, unless I"m at the doctors or at a resort...

 

[missy]

Most of my friends who have graduate degrees under their maiden name kept their last name when they got married. I cannot think of any actually who changed their last name if they got married after graduate school amongst my circle of friends.

 

[KristyDarling]

This thread is such an interesting read! I'm especially interested in the responses from women who changed their names because they really disliked their surname. I *hated* mine growing up, because it is a really, REALLY funny last name. Hilarious even. The few of you here who know me IRL know what I'm talkin' about. I got teased for it relentlessly in the schoolyard, and even now as an adult I STILL get teased. That lifetime of teasing is a big part of why I feel such ownership of my name. I've EARNED it, dangit!! LOL. I could have changed it to my husband's more common last name, but then that would've been too easy. lol. Seriously though, there are obviously no right or wrong answers....it's just whatever is right for each of us as individuals, and in my case, I feel that my name IS me, so there's no good reason to change it.

 

[Haven]

I was thrilled to swap my very distinctive, long, hyphenated surname for his short, more anonymous one.

I have a very close family friend who did the same thing. Her maiden name was hyphenated, very long, and each of the two names in it began with McC. (Imagine "McCaffery-McCullen"--not exactly it, but the same sort of mouthful. She was thrilled to drop her maiden name and take on her husband's four-letter surname when they married. It's funny to say her name in both of its forms because the difference is so striking.

These discussions are always very interesting to me because I just don't relate to the feelings so many express about the connection between name and identity. I'm not sure why, and one way is certainly not better than the other.

I also find it interesting that people in general (not necessarily in our discussions here) tend to make judgments about women based on the decision they make in this situation. There always seems to be comments about how more educated or outwardly successful women tend to make one choice while less educated make another. Or, that dropping your maiden name says something about your independence or strength or yadda yadda yadda. I think people on PS are too polite to really say what they think in terms of these matters, but whenever this discussion comes up IRL the judgments are always there, and people are more forthright about making them.

I don't put much stock into using this choice to tell me anything important about an individual, because in my mind it isn't really all that important. I prefer to look at people's behaviors for those types of insights. But I do think it's fascinating, what people really believe about how much this choice reveals about an individual.

 

[amc80]

This thread is such an interesting read! I'm especially interested in the responses from women who changed their names because they really disliked their surname. I *hated* mine growing up, because it is a really, REALLY funny last name. Hilarious even. The few of you here who know me IRL know what I'm talkin' about. I got teased for it relentlessly in the schoolyard, and even now as an adult I STILL get teased. That lifetime of teasing is a big part of why I feel such ownership of my name. I've EARNED it, dangit!! LOL. I could have changed it to my husband's more common last name, but then that would've been too easy. lol. Seriously though, there are obviously no right or wrong answers....it's just whatever is right for each of us as individuals, and in my case, I feel that my name IS me, so there's no good reason to change it.

I fall into this boat. My maiden name was Cady. So almost EVERY time I was asked what my last name was, I'd say Cady, and the person asking would say "that's your last name?" Um, yeah I understood the question. And at least 90% of people would pronounce it Caddy...which always baffled me since it's phonetically Cady, as in rhymes with Lady. Plus, if I said "Cady, C-A-D-Y," it would almost always be written down Kady. Or sometimes even Cody.

So, that, combined with an uncommon spelling of my first name, means I've had to spell out both of my names my entire life. My married last name is a common name, just with an "e" thrown on the end...so now I just have to say "Lastname with an e on the end."

 

[rainwood]

I wanted to keep my last name and my husband really, really wanted me to take his. I ended up hyphenating which worked fine because both last names are one syllable. If it had been too long, I would have kept my last name and DH would have just had to deal with it.

I was surprised that DH felt so strongly, but it was the one traditional notion he had so things have worked out for the 33 years we've been married. Having a hyphenated name is occasionally a PITA, but that happens rarely now. It also makes for a good telephone screener. If someone calls and asks for Mrs. Husband's Last Name, I just say that she's not home right now. Anyone who knows me knows that's not my name, and anyone else is just a telemarketer. If someone called me Mrs. His First and Last Name, I'd probably struggle to be polite but it would bother me big time unless it was a very sweet 95-year old lady who thought that's still how things are done. Everyone else would probably get an icy glare and a "Who?"

Most of the women I know who kept their last names and whose children have their father's last name have had ZERO problem with it as far as school and other bureaucracies. Women should just do what they want as far as keeping or changing their names. There are no wrong choices.

 

[bee*]

I changed my name in my personal life (passport and driving licence) but for my work I've kept my maiden name. I will graduate as my maiden name as my parents have supported me so much during college that I think it would upset them if I graduated with my husbands surname.

 

[Haven]

This thread is such an interesting read! I'm especially interested in the responses from women who changed their names because they really disliked their surname. I *hated* mine growing up, because it is a really, REALLY funny last name. Hilarious even. The few of you here who know me IRL know what I'm talkin' about. I got teased for it relentlessly in the schoolyard, and even now as an adult I STILL get teased. That lifetime of teasing is a big part of why I feel such ownership of my name. I've EARNED it, dangit!! LOL. I could have changed it to my husband's more common last name, but then that would've been too easy. lol. Seriously though, there are obviously no right or wrong answers....it's just whatever is right for each of us as individuals, and in my case, I feel that my name IS me, so there's no good reason to change it.

Oh, now I really want to know your surname!

I have a friend whose maiden name is a nickname for poop. You can bet that she changed it to her husband's name as soon as she possibly could. In her younger sister's speech at the wedding she said, "And I am sooooo jealous you get to get rid of Poopnickname!"

 

[Jennifer W]

This thread is such an interesting read! I'm especially interested in the responses from women who changed their names because they really disliked their surname. I *hated* mine growing up, because it is a really, REALLY funny last name. Hilarious even. The few of you here who know me IRL know what I'm talkin' about. I got teased for it relentlessly in the schoolyard, and even now as an adult I STILL get teased. That lifetime of teasing is a big part of why I feel such ownership of my name. I've EARNED it, dangit!! LOL. I could have changed it to my husband's more common last name, but then that would've been too easy. lol. Seriously though, there are obviously no right or wrong answers....it's just whatever is right for each of us as individuals, and in my case, I feel that my name IS me, so there's no good reason to change it.

Oh, now I really want to know your surname!

I have a friend whose maiden name is a nickname for poop. You can bet that she changed it to her husband's name as soon as she possibly could. In her younger sister's speech at the wedding she said, "And I am sooooo jealous you get to get rid of Poopnickname!"

Now there's an interesting question. Would I feel the same way about it all if my real name was a euphemism for poop...

You're right about the judgement, btw. I am as guilty of it as anyone. When one of my friends got married and changed her name, I really had to give myself a stern talking to about my attitude. Her choice! My husband is very dismissive of people who do this, quite up front indignant about it. It's a tradition he dislikes quite intensely. Interestingly, he never said a word on his views about it until I'd made my decision, so I guess if I'd chosen to change my name to his, he'd have been annoyed by it every day of our lives together until....

 

[missy]

I was thrilled to swap my very distinctive, long, hyphenated surname for his short, more anonymous one.

I have a very close family friend who did the same thing. Her maiden name was hyphenated, very long, and each of the two names in it began with McC. (Imagine "McCaffery-McCullen"--not exactly it, but the same sort of mouthful. She was thrilled to drop her maiden name and take on her husband's four-letter surname when they married. It's funny to say her name in both of its forms because the difference is so striking.

These discussions are always very interesting to me because I just don't relate to the feelings so many express about the connection between name and identity. I'm not sure why, and one way is certainly not better than the other.

I also find it interesting that people in general (not necessarily in our discussions here) tend to make judgments about women based on the decision they make in this situation. There always seems to be comments about how more educated or outwardly successful women tend to make one choice while less educated make another. Or, that dropping your maiden name says something about your independence or strength or yadda yadda yadda. I think people on PS are too polite to really say what they think in terms of these matters, but whenever this discussion comes up IRL the judgments are always there, and people are more forthright about making them.

I don't put much stock into using this choice to tell me anything important about an individual, because in my mind it isn't really all that important. I prefer to look at people's behaviors for those types of insights. But I do think it's fascinating, what people really believe about how much this choice reveals about an individual.

I did not mean to offend you Haven. Personally, I earned a doctor degree under my maiden name and that was and is how my patients and colleagues know me. This choice had nothing to do with how smart or dumb I am in any way. My sister changed her name because she wanted to have the same last name as her children. She has as many degrees as I do so again just to reiterate, my choice had nothing to do with feeling smarter or more superior to anyone else. I just noted for the purpose of this discussion though that all my friends with post graduate degrees kept their maiden names and while we never discussed the reasons why it was most likely for the same reason I did. My dh never even wanted me to change my maiden name so it worked out well for us.

 

[missy]

This thread is such an interesting read! I'm especially interested in the responses from women who changed their names because they really disliked their surname. I *hated* mine growing up, because it is a really, REALLY funny last name. Hilarious even. The few of you here who know me IRL know what I'm talkin' about. I got teased for it relentlessly in the schoolyard, and even now as an adult I STILL get teased. That lifetime of teasing is a big part of why I feel such ownership of my name. I've EARNED it, dangit!! LOL. I could have changed it to my husband's more common last name, but then that would've been too easy. lol. Seriously though, there are obviously no right or wrong answers....it's just whatever is right for each of us as individuals, and in my case, I feel that my name IS me, so there's no good reason to change it.

Oh, now I really want to know your surname!

I have a friend whose maiden name is a nickname for poop. You can bet that she changed it to her husband's name as soon as she possibly could. In her younger sister's speech at the wedding she said, "And I am sooooo jealous you get to get rid of Poopnickname!"

Now there's an interesting question. Would I feel the same way about it all if my real name was a euphemism for poop...

You're right about the judgement, btw. I am as guilty of it as anyone. When one of my friends got married and changed her name, I really had to give myself a stern talking to about my attitude. Her choice! My husband is very dismissive of people who do this, quite up front indignant about it. It's a tradition he dislikes quite intensely. Interestingly, he never said a word on his views about it until I'd made my decision, so I guess if I'd chosen to change my name to his, he'd have been annoyed by it every day of our lives together until....

That's funny as my dh thinks it makes little sense ( for us at least)to change the last name too. Though he understands other people's reasons for doing so as do I.

 

[TravelingGal]

No I did not. I've mentioned it here probably many times before, but as a child of immigrant parents who struggle, and someone who is of a culture which (to me surprisingly) where women do not change names, I felt it right that I did not.

From Wikipedia: Korean women traditionally keep their family names after their marriage, but their children take the father's surname. In the pre-modern, patriarchal Korean society people were extremely conscious of familial values and their own family identities. Korean women keep their surnames after marriage based on traditional reasoning that it is what they inherited from their parents and ancestors, and cannot be changed.

Now, the above would not be the only reason why I didn't change my name (it wasn't even an important reason, really). My dad was very ill when I got married (he did not come to my wedding) and died a couple of years later. He and my mom struggled as many immigrant parents do, and I always felt he thought me more of a son than a daugther in many ways (probably because I'm more like him). I really wanted to achieve happiness and "success" in this country, and do it in my family name. It probably sounds silly, but that's the number one reason I didn't change.

The rest is the usual stuff. I was older when I got married, had an established career, and simply just liked my name. My ethnic last name would always be more "me" than the Australian surname of my husband.

TGuy and I had the name conversation recently, and he made the grave mistake of saying, "Maybe you'll change it someday when your name doesn't mean anything." I know he meant, as in "professionally" but I shot him a look that completely silenced him and simply said, "My name will ALWAYS mean something to me." Fortunately he crawled back into his hole. (I'm kidding, as he always has been great about the name game, but I also do understand he would have liked a Mrs. TGuy too.)

At least I'm married to someone who realized it was my choice. I was talking to my European coworkers, one who is English (not that that means anything) and he said, "It never even occured to me that my wife wouldn't change her name to mine." REALLY? My boss, who is 60+ years old once told me "it's [name change] is what you do." A Japanese coworker of mine recently got married after a long engagement. She's 40 years old and was considering changing her name as she's married to an American living in America. The rest of my coworkers are all men and told her she should change. I said, do you like your name? Do you want to change? It's YOUR name, you choose what you'd like! Have to say, I was happy to hear she did not change it!

Oh, and I despise Mrs. too. I like Ms. Keeps me feeling young.

 

[Kismet]

I changed my last name when I got married and added my maiden name to my middle name. I was rather looking forward to getting rid of it for every day use because it is not pronounced like it's spelled and it was always a pain getting people to spell it correctly.

My mother tried the Mrs Hisfirstname Hislastname address on a birthday card to me the first birthday I had after we got married. I was on the phone to her within 3 seconds of getting the card explaining that I changed my last name and not my first name. She wasn't being mean though, she was just so excited at being able to address something properly to her married daughter.

Using the new name was strange though. Since I answer my phone at work with my name I had to remind myself what my new name was when I got back from my honeymoon. My mother was all excited about that too. She hung up on me and called me back twice just so she could hear me say my new name.