If you lost your engagement ring would you.....

[Dreamer_D]

I wouldn't choose the same style of ring again. If my ring were lost forever I'm not sure what I'd do, but rather something different. If I looked down and saw a different ring, I think I could deal with it. If I tried to get the exact ring I think I'd just be reminded of how lovely the ring I lost was. I can't replace it and trying and having a reminder everyday would hurt.

I also wouldn't get a Calico cat if mine died, the reminder would be too painful for a bit.

Exactly, but substitute long haired dacshund for calico cat!

My orignal e-ring is not insured because it is valuable primarily for sentiment and there would be no point in replacing that. That said, if the ring was worth more monitarily then it would be insured and if lost, I would get something totally new.

And I am sorry you lost it! How stressful!

 

[Clio]

I would get something very different. Not because I don't still love my engagement ring - I do. I think, however, that trying to replace the ring would feel like a pale imitation of the original to me. I would want to go in a different direction so that it wouldn't feel as if we were trying - and possibly failing - to recreate what was lost.

 

[Circe]

I would get something very different. Not because I don't still love my engagement ring - I do. I think, however, that trying to replace the ring would feel like a pale imitation of the original to me. I would want to go in a different direction so that it wouldn't feel as if we were trying - and possibly failing - to recreate what was lost.

Oh, well said, Clio. This is pretty much exactly how I feel: given that I chose my original e-ring myself, odds are good there would be a lot of similarities, but I think if it were too close, I'd constantly be comparing old and new, and probably to the detriment of the new. Hell, my husband claims I do do this with the cats, and comforts them when I mention that our old cat never fell off the back of the couch ....

But, SapphireLover, it sounds like the issue here is more your husband's position and how it differs from yours than any internal back-and-forth. On that front, me? I'd argue that it was too hard to recreate the sentiment of the original and present the suggestion that you both work together to represent where you are now, since you can't recapture where you were when you started out. And if he dug his heels in, I'd probably point out that, a) I was the one wearing it, and, b) I'd worn his choice for X years. If I'm the one wearing a thing 24/7, I'm just not martyr enough to put somebody else's aesthetic preferences first!

 

[centralsquare]

Good question. You know, I don't know. I love my ER. But I'd also love a lot of other things!

 

[Kaleigh]

I am very sorry it's lost. I think you need to take your husbands feelings to heart. But at the same time, tell him there is no replacing the original. The new ring although may be different, doesn't mean your love for him is any different.. God now I sound like a Hallmark card...

My husband did the opposite. He got me an upgrade at Tiffany's same ring, just larger stone...

At first I said nope, I love my ring. It's perfect.

He said they are bringing rings for you. Let's go and see.. It's up to you...

Yeah I got the same ring, just bigger stone... But still would be happy with the first one..

 

[Mrsacornblue]

Ok- now it's time for 100% honesty. I was never 100% happy with my ring. I'm not sure if getting the design done from scratch will make a difference.

Yes, the likelihood is that we will get more back on the insurance than we paid for it. I wouldn't use it as an opportunity to go bigger on the stone, rather to go for a better quality stone. I'd get the same shape but I am thinking of a plain setting.

I do get the point about making compromise and also upsetting my husband. Argghh! It's all so stressful.

I should just keep quiet until I've got confirmation from the insurance company that they will pay out.

On the other hand (actually the same hand and same finger) I would never ever want to replace my wedding ring. Even if I lost it i would replace it with exactly the same one.

See...I feel the same way about my e-ring but not my wedding band. I LOVE my e-ring. If (god forbid), something happened to it, I'd probably replace it with a similar cut and style of radiant cut diamond (maybe a bit bigger). My WB was something that we bought because we needed rings. The jeweler talked me into round cuts channel set (which I shound have never done....should have gone with my gut and gotten the princess cut!) We were in the throes of remodeling our house and didn't have the money to get the WB I wanted. I have since upgraded it to a full prong-set eternity of princess cut diamonds...a far cry from what I started with...and am very happy. DH was supportive of this reset because I never wanted to change my e-ring. I think that it is a delicate balance of your wants and your DH's wants...just like marriage.

 

[QueenB29]

If you weren't 100% happy with your ring to begin with than that's different. I understand that feeling. I have a pink diamond (.33 fancy brownish pink EC VS1) and I love it. I love that my DH went to some much trouble to get me something that was special and rare and beautiful And it's all of those things and I love pink and I love emerald cuts. I didn't get to choose it though, and while I had it reset into a ring I like much better than the original solitare, there are times (about once a day) that I look down and really wish I had a big honking white diamond on my finger instead Would I ever trade it? No. If mine was lost would I be devastated? Yes. Would I want another one? I don't know

The problem is how get one that's different and makes you completely happy without upsetting your DH. I would never in a million years tell mine that the pink diamond maybe isn't what I would have wanted. It would hurt him too much. I would probably try to go with what some of the other posters said. Tell your DH that even if you recreate it, it won't be the same to you. That it would be less painful for you to see a completely different ring. That you won't have to look at your hand and constantly remember what was lost

Slightly dishonest? Yes. And you'll probably get other PSers who tell you never to do that and to just be up front with him. But for me, a little white lie would be a lot easier to live with than the expression on DH's face if I told him my ring didn't make me 100% happy....

 

[Gypsy]

Clio summed it up for me too. My diamond is a fancy. And as much as I love it, short of Kenny selling me his 2 carat asscher (which looks like mine only bigger ), I wouldn't get another asscher. It would feel too much like a copy of the original and would make me said. But I would get a rectangular EC though. And most likely that is what I'd end up with. Close enough, but not exact.

I don't do well with copies. If you do... then your decision might be different.

 

[Amys Bling]

I wouldn't choose the same style of ring again. If my ring were lost forever I'm not sure what I'd do, but rather something different. If I looked down and saw a different ring, I think I could deal with it. If I tried to get the exact ring I think I'd just be reminded of how lovely the ring I lost was. I can't replace it and trying and having a reminder everyday would hurt.

I also wouldn't get a Calico cat if mine died, the reminder would be too painful for a bit.

Totally agree.

 

[violet3]

My ering is a 10 pt eternity band -- if i were to lose it, I think i would try a blingy five stone with larger diamonds so I could wear it more. I baby my ring a lot because of the diamonds under the hand, and i think i would be less nervous about a plain band for the shank.

 

[tammy77]

I'd get something similar. I'd probably just go for a little larger center stone and a half eternity tapered cathedral instead of the plain band tapered cathedral. I love my ring and I am sentimental about it. The reasons can't all be replicated, but some can. I'm sentimental about it because my DH picked it out with me (stone himself, setting together) - we can replicate that. The parts we cannot replicate (that he proposed with it, that it was blessed at our wedding, etc.) can not be fixed by getting the exact same thing again.

I'm sorry your ering was lost btw. I hope it all works out well for you in the long run.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

Take a pay out.

cheers--Sharon

 

[FrekeChild]

I couldn't replace it with something identical. That's the problem/cool thing with colored stones.

Having said that, I wouldn't anyway. But I have 20 "erings" anyway, so no difference.

 

[marcy]

How awful you lost your engagement ring. I think I would go for something different. That being said is DH wanted me tom have the same thing we would go pick out something together. Good luck.

 

[swingirl]

If my car was stolen, I wouldn't get the exact same thing. At the very least I get a newer model or different color. If my house burned down I would have it rebuilt differently and improve if I could.

And if I lost my ring, I would start from scratch and design something different (not better and not an upgrade, just different). It would be a rebirth of the original but I would not want an exact duplicate because I would always know it was a "duplicate" and not the original. So for me---I would want the replacement to be "new" and not a "duplicate". My husband would understand my feelings.

Maybe you should come clean and admit to your DH that although you loved it at the time, there are things about it that you would like changed because after wearing it, your taste have changed.

 

[pregcurious]

It would depend. If I really liked the original ring, and it would really hurt my husband to change it (to the same degree it would hurt for me to have an ugly ring), I would get the same ring.

If I disliked the original ring to point where it would make me extremely annoyed to replicate it, and it would really hurt my husband to replace it, I would try to explain to him that I never liked the original ring and work with him to find a new design.

 

[nfowife]

I was in the exact same situation. Long story short, I had a new ring made that was very very similar to my original but not exactly the same. I went back and forth about what to do. There are just so many options and I literally stayed awake at night worrying about what to do, spent hours researching new sets, etc. DH didn't really care either way.
My wedding band was made to match my original e-ring and unless I got a solitaire it wouldn't really go with another style of ring altogether. And my wedding band is sentimental to me- I've worn it daily for 10 years now. And it's perfectly beautiful, with 5 small stones, .84 ctw. There was no reason not to use it. I originally felt I would move it and wear it as a RHR but it's not really blingy enough on it's own for that I think. Once I decided to keep the spirit of the original design I felt great relief. Sure, there are so many great beautiful rings out there. But my set is "me" and has really grown on me and I didn't feel I could just cast it aside, kwim?
Anyhow, I am very satisfied with my new ring. The old ring had a single .25 sidestone on each side of my 2 carat center; the new one has a 2.3 center with 2 - .18 sidestones on each side.

 

[SapphireLover]

I thought people would want an update. We have had a talk. DH was against me getting a plain solitaire in a plain band, as he felt that it would be something that hasn't got any meaning at all. He felt it would have no story at all about it and I may as well just go shopping for a handbag or something dull. I then suggested that I got a sapphire instead, at which his face lit up, he smiled and said that that sounded perfect. I always wanted a sapphire engagement ring, and we originally started off looking at them, and I don't know how I ended up with a diamond. DH said he would love for me to replace my lost ring with a sapphire as although it would always be a different ring, it would still have a story and meaning for us.

So, in the end, all is well that ends well. Right, I'm off to the coloured stone forums to stalk sapphires and work out what my insurance company are going to pay out!

 

[LGK]

I *did* lose the original one, and that's why I have the two larger OECs. I did upgrade- a LOT. The original was a .20ish ct total weight '40s set, with a center around .10. It was a terribly cut stone in retrospect- I can't recall it *ever* throwing off any rainbow fire at all. I liked the style of the setting, and had no clue there was much difference in diamond cuts even in small sizes like that. Nevertheless I wore it happily for about 7 years and "upgrading" never crossed my mind at all.

Then I saw this amazing over one carat OEC in a fabulous filigree setting, and fell hard for it. OMG. It sparkled like nothing I had ever seen.

That started the antique jewelry obsession, for sure. My 1.22 ct OEC in the antique PT filigree setting was an attempt to approximate that ring; and it's my replacement, upgraded e-ring. (The larger OEC is really a RHR, though I wear them opposite since the larger one is safer on the left paw.)

DH isn't really sentimental about jewelry; but he actually doesn't know I lost the original! I had been unable to wear it, due to damage to the prongs and such, so I put it somewhere very, very safe. Very.

 

[phoenixgirl]

My husband felt the same way about the plain gold wedding band he gave me when I wanted to get a diamond band to wear instead. Eventually we had the "bike/diamonds breakthrough of 2006" in which I pointed out how he loves to upgrade and change his bikes constantly, and how I felt the same way about jewelry, and he finally got it. But he is a very sentimental person and at first was very confused and upset by the thought of changing something so special.

So yes, I would get something different if that's what caught my eye. I'm thinking about getting a new e-ring for our 10th anniversary in 3 years (I have an heirloom diamond now, so I would get an upgradable diamond from a PS vendor) and I will probably get a new setting. I love my setting but it may not suit a new diamond, ya know? Plus tastes change, and I'm not sure I want to wear a ring that says "2004" forever.

 

[SapphireLover]

Well, you guys, the insurance company have finally paid out and with my chosen jeweller, not one that they specify. I now the cost of replacing my diamond paid for, but know I can get something different if I choose.

Let the shopping begin!

 

[yssie]

I'm so sorry this is necessary, but I'm glad to hear of your happy resolution! Your new ring will definitely have a story (granted it wouldn't have the greatest start, but at least it's happily ever after at the end ) - and you'll love it all the more because DH loves it, I promise

 

[SapphireLover]

Thanks Yssie.

DH is in a good mood about it all, the plan is to go for a sapphire and he is totally on board with the plan for a new ring. In fact, he is away this weekend but has told me to go to the jeweler and start talking and working out what I want, as its been going on for such a while. I don't have high hopes for it being sorted before Christmas, but you never know!

 

[tyty333]

Well, you guys, the insurance company have finally paid out and with my chosen jeweller, not one that they specify. I now the cost of replacing my diamond paid for, but know I can get something different if I choose.

Let the shopping begin!

Woohooo!!!

 

[aljdewey]

If I lost my 3-stone e-ring, I'd change to an antique stone. Hub wouldn't care as long as I was happy, and those are the diamonds that hold allure for me now.

 

[D&T]

I'm not a newly wed anymore and my hubby doesn't care now what I wear (he used to when we were first married maybe for a year) A solitaire isn't high on my list anymore. If my ring was lost/stolen, I'd probably just get a wide diamond band or wear one of my other anniversary rings. As my husband has often said to me... "It doesn't matter what you wear on that ring finger of yours...As long as there is A Ring on it " But this only came after about five years of marriage and after the five year upgrade and resets and purging and purchasing.

 

[SapphireLover]

Funny you should say that, but I have thought of getting a really good eternity band instead.

I can't wear any rings with stones for work, so only ever wear my wedding ring. I kind of think a cool diamond band would also be nice. The problem is, I really want both!

 

[luv2sparkle]

I am sorry you lost your ring, but happy for you that you had insurance and could replace it! I hope you enjoy the process and get something that your really love.

 

[Sundial]

I would miss my three stone ring if something happened to it, but at this point in my life I think I would just move my five stone right hand diamond ring over to my left hand and wear it as a wedding band. Even though it is a less expensive ring I just love the look!

I am glad you got your payout and that you and your husband came up with a mutually acceptable idea for replacing it. Happy shopping!!!

 

[mrs taylor]

Haven't read through, but been there, done that. I replaced with the same thing and it hurt every day I wore it. It was like a reminder that I didn't have my ring. It was awful and made me feel sick. I sold it and went a completely different way, asking dh to be the one (again) to pick it with some input from me. I am now MUCH happier with a totally different ring that dh did pick out. Even though I still swoon when I see rings similar to my original (diamond and sapphire 3 stone in a heavy trellis setting) I'm swooning for MY ring. Not a reproduction. Just another perspective.

Just read through and saw the update! WONDERFUL and I love that you're going with something your husband is happy with! Fantastic!