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Age Difference

Haven

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 15, 2007
Messages
13,166
texaskj|1314752041|3005873 said:
First husband was two years older, second husband was three years younger.
There's a glorious six weeks out of the year when SO and I are the same age; he's younger.
I worked with a woman who married a man 40, you read that right, 40 years older. And she was an absolute wreck when he died of Alzheimers after being in a nursing home for quite a number of years.

Haven...which U of I?
The University of Illinois, of course. :cheeky:

I forget that U of I could mean a couple different universities. I also have a bad habit of writing "the city" when, of course, I mean Chicago.
 

Haven

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 15, 2007
Messages
13,166
AprilBaby|1314754021|3005911 said:
We were at U of I in 1992! Husband was finishing his PhD. Fun times!

We are 3 years apart. My father and stepmother were 10 years apart. Worked fine until he turned 60. Didn't go so well after that as she became "old" like him ( he was prematurely old) and they didn't have any fun because he was disabled and couldn't do anything anymore. He died at 72 and she was a 62 yr old widow. Now she is 75 and she has an 88 yr old bf. Go figure.
WOOHOOOOOO!!!! Illini pride is strong on PS! I love it.
 

texaskj

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Joined
Aug 31, 2010
Messages
1,197
Haven|1314755180|3005935 said:
texaskj|1314752041|3005873 said:
First husband was two years older, second husband was three years younger.
There's a glorious six weeks out of the year when SO and I are the same age; he's younger.
I worked with a woman who married a man 40, you read that right, 40 years older. And she was an absolute wreck when he died of Alzheimers after being in a nursing home for quite a number of years.

Haven...which U of I?
The University of Illinois, of course. :cheeky:

I forget that U of I could mean a couple different universities. I also have a bad habit of writing "the city" when, of course, I mean Chicago.


Ahh, U of I means University of Iowa in my family. Me, 1985; Dad, 1968. I went to school with a ton of people from the burbs around Chicago. At that time, out-of-state tuition at Iowa was cheaper than in-state for Illinois.

Sorry for the thread jack everyone. Back to your regularly scheduled program.
 

manderz

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Joined
Mar 8, 2010
Messages
1,539
He's 4 years older, and it works out well for us. We know many of the same people, since we grew up in the same town, and we've had many mutual friends and acquaintances. We're also on a pretty even playing field in terms of pop culture references.
 

NOYFB

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 16, 2008
Messages
2,649
I am 7 years older than DH. When we started dating he was just shy of 21 and I had just turned 28. (I've heard all the cradle robber jokes!). But honestly, age has never been an issue for us. He has always been more mature for his age, and I've always looked younger than my age (we are now 42 and 35) so people have always assumed we were the same age.

Funny story - when DH told his mom about me he said "I have a new girlfriend, but there's a bit of an age difference, so I don't want you to freak out". When he told her I was 28 she let out a sigh of relief and said "Thank God! I thought you were going to tell me she was 15!" My mother-in-law and I have gotten along famously ever since! :wink2:
 

Asscherhalo_lover

Ideal_Rock
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Messages
5,703
He's one year and two months older. We started dating at 15 though so we grew up together. We have both always been old for our age.
 

Verdy

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jun 20, 2011
Messages
319
BF is 6 years my senior, 7 when it's his birthday. Despite the fact that I'm not really considered fully 'mature' for my age, we don't notice the age difference at all. He can be as childish as I am when we're having a good time, and I can be as serious as he is when there's a tough topic at hand. After all, I think most of you can agree when I say that when it comes to love, age is just a number! ::)
 

sillyberry

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Joined
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Messages
1,792
Haven|1314743608|3005771 said:
HollyS|1314743431|3005768 said:
Haven -- my DH is a U of I grad! 1977!

I don't know whether that should make you feel really young, or make me feel really old . . . :bigsmile:
WOOOOOOOT! It just makes me feel like I'm in good company. :bigsmile:

Shout out to Mr. Holly:

I!-L!-L!
Mine too...2003 (undergrad)/2006 (law school). He spends too much time on the Orange and Black Illini sports message boards...

DH is 4.5 months older than me. In some ways he's more mature, in other ways I am. I look pretty young for my age (I turned 30 two weeks ago and his mom thought I was 25 until just recently) and I'm kind of flighty. Upon meeting me many people think I'm a dingbat. But I've also always been pretty career-minded and goal-oriented, and am doing pretty well on that order. DH looks older and is a bit more stodgy, and often jokes he's been middle-aged since middle school. But he's also the guy who spends too much time on the Orange and Black Illini sports message boards...and on his fantasy leagues. And he's smarter but not as focused so even though we're both lawyers I have the more "mature" career path going on.

Despite being so close in age, I haven't seen a bunch of movies he thinks I should have seen, so it drives him CRAZY when I don't get references. I was a 6-year-old girl when Predator came out -- no I haven't seen it!!!
 

jstarfireb

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 24, 2007
Messages
6,232
My husband is a year and a half older than me, so that's pretty much the same age. We're also at the same level in our careers, which I think would make us feel the same age if we weren't.
 

Arkteia

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Premium
Joined
Nov 3, 2009
Messages
7,589
I am almost two years older than my husband, but he was such an accomplished guy at 24 when we met that it did not matter. Totally self-reliant and reliable. Does not matter at all.

Of interest, my father always thought that women should marry younger men. Because women usually live longer, it is sad, he said, to watch old lonely ladies. Someone in this thread has already mentioned it. Honestly, I feel there is a certain male dominance re. age in Hollywood! (No one raised an eyebrow when Michael Douglas married a woman 30 years his junior, but when Demi Moore marries a guy 20 years younger than she is, all newspapers make a big deal out of it. When Halle Berry married her now ex-husband, everyone mentioned he was 11 years younger, when Kim Bassinger... Nicole Kidman...). I saw a movie about Leni Riefenstahl, she was 74 when she married her husband, and he was 41 or so, I think they had a great time together because both liked scuba diving and made a movie about it.
 

Dancing Fire

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i'm suppose to be 1.2 yrs older,but i think my wife lie about her age.. :lol:
 

Resonance.Of.Life

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Joined
Nov 8, 2008
Messages
1,449
He's a month and 4 days older than me :snore: . And it works out justtttt fine. I used to only date older guys (2-4 years older than me) but my bf is incredibly sensitive and mature for his age.. so it works out ! :)
 

NakedFinger

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Joined
Jan 8, 2009
Messages
690
My husband and I are 1.5 years apart. I think its perfect, it was just enough of a gap for him to be more mature that the guys my age.

My viewpoint on significant age gaps (and I am not trying to offend), is it creeps me out. My parents had me young. So while I love having young parents because we are so close, it pretty much ruined the chance for me to ever date an older guy. While many 25 year old's may not have an issue with dating someone 40, I would always be like "ewww, your only a few years younger than my dad!" That usually halted the pursuing on their end! Haha When I was 20, I had a colleague tell me he was in love with me and he was 38. He didnt see a problem with it, but at the time, my dad was only 42. Dating a guy only 4 years older than my dad was totally creeped me out. Maybe the rule of thumb should be, if the gap is big enough that one of the parties could theoretically be your biological parent, maybe its too much of a gap?? HAHA.

I will say though, as someone who has always been way too mature for their age, I can see how dating someone older would be appealing. At 20, I was more like 30. So it probably would have been a lot easier to date someone 30. (Luckily my husband was very mature and independent at a young age too, so only the 1.5 year difference wasnt an issue). My issue would be, is sure, some 40 year olds are young looking, sexy and fun, active etc, so you dont mind being 25 and him 45. But what happens when you are 45 and he is 65? I could it getting harder as you get older?

(I dont think a 10 year difference is a big deal, but I dont understand how a 20+ age works though. To have someone talk about a time when you werent even born yet has to be weird. "Oh I graduated medical school this year" "Oh, I wasnt even born yet". Weird. Its got to be hard to find things is common? Kind of like these guys: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbi...-aspiring-country-music-singer-Las-Vegas.html What do you think they talk about?? lol)
 

Autumnovember

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Messages
4,384
NakedFinger|1314818009|3006602 said:
My husband and I are 1.5 years apart. I think its perfect, it was just enough of a gap for him to be more mature that the guys my age.

My viewpoint on significant age gaps (and I am not trying to offend), is it creeps me out. My parents had me young. So while I love having young parents because we are so close, it pretty much ruined the chance for me to ever date an older guy. While many 25 year old's may not have an issue with dating someone 40, I would always be like "ewww, your only a few years younger than my dad!" That usually halted the pursuing on their end! Haha When I was 20, I had a colleague tell me he was in love with me and he was 38. He didnt see a problem with it, but at the time, my dad was only 42. Dating a guy only 4 years older than me was totally disgusting to me. Maybe the rule of thumb should be, if the gap is big enough that one of the parties could theoretically be your biological parent, maybe its too much of a gap?? HAHA.

I will say though, as someone who has always been way too mature for their age, I can see how dating someone older would be appealing. At 20, I was more like 30. So it probably would have been a lot easier to date someone 30!

(I dont understand how a 20+ age works though. To have someone talk about a time when you werent even born yet has to be weird. "Oh I graduated medical school this year" "Oh, I wasnt even born yet". Weird. Its got to be hard to find things is common? Kind of like these guys: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbi...-aspiring-country-music-singer-Las-Vegas.html What do you think they talk about?? lol)

My dad is 63 so my SO is not even close to his age lol. His father is 75. First time I met his dad he said "Well Mr. AN, sexy little tiger you got there!" :-o :bigsmile:


I could totally seeing it being completely weird for you though, I wouldn't be able to date someone that much older than me if they were close to my parents age either. All of the guys I've dated are just too immature and STILL are (Both of my ex's are now 25) as immature as they were or even worse now.

Me and FI do talk about times when I was in 1st or 2nd grade and we think its funny...nothing weird about it to us. He'll say something and I'll say "oh sweet! I was like what, 5?" and he'll say "oh my gosh, thats right! holy crap" and we laugh because we forget about the age gap a lot.

I also notice though that I get along very well with older people in general. A lot of my close friends are older (in their 30's) and I value their friendships more than I do of some of my younger friends.

The friends that I do have that ARE my age are very successful already, very mature individuals. One a pharmacist, another lawyer, etc. They're driven, motivated, determined and very mature for their ages as well.

This isn't to say that I don't act my age sometimes because there are definitely a lot of areas in my life where I do. Sometimes I do things that are "very my age" and it catches my older friends off guard, I do have to remind them that yes, I'm still 23 :)

So, I wonder...is your circle of friends around your age too, if you and your SO are close in age? What about those of you who have an age gap...do you also have an age gap with your own friends? I wonder if there is a correlation at all.
 

Maisie

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Joined
Dec 30, 2006
Messages
12,587
My husband is 9 years younger than me. We don't notice the age difference. Either he is mature for his age or I am immature :bigsmile:
 

LGK

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 27, 2007
Messages
2,975
Autumnovember|1314818577|3006606 said:
NakedFinger|1314818009|3006602 said:
My husband and I are 1.5 years apart. I think its perfect, it was just enough of a gap for him to be more mature that the guys my age.

My viewpoint on significant age gaps (and I am not trying to offend), is it creeps me out. My parents had me young. So while I love having young parents because we are so close, it pretty much ruined the chance for me to ever date an older guy. While many 25 year old's may not have an issue with dating someone 40, I would always be like "ewww, your only a few years younger than my dad!" That usually halted the pursuing on their end! Haha When I was 20, I had a colleague tell me he was in love with me and he was 38. He didnt see a problem with it, but at the time, my dad was only 42. Dating a guy only 4 years older than me was totally disgusting to me. Maybe the rule of thumb should be, if the gap is big enough that one of the parties could theoretically be your biological parent, maybe its too much of a gap?? HAHA.

I will say though, as someone who has always been way too mature for their age, I can see how dating someone older would be appealing. At 20, I was more like 30. So it probably would have been a lot easier to date someone 30!

(I dont understand how a 20+ age works though. To have someone talk about a time when you werent even born yet has to be weird. "Oh I graduated medical school this year" "Oh, I wasnt even born yet". Weird. Its got to be hard to find things is common? Kind of like these guys: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbi...-aspiring-country-music-singer-Las-Vegas.html What do you think they talk about?? lol)

My dad is 63 so my SO is not even close to his age lol. His father is 75. First time I met his dad he said "Well Mr. AN, sexy little tiger you got there!" :-o :bigsmile:


I could totally seeing it being completely weird for you though, I wouldn't be able to date someone that much older than me if they were close to my parents age either. All of the guys I've dated are just too immature and STILL are (Both of my ex's are now 25) as immature as they were or even worse now.

Me and FI do talk about times when I was in 1st or 2nd grade and we think its funny...nothing weird about it to us. He'll say something and I'll say "oh sweet! I was like what, 5?" and he'll say "oh my gosh, thats right! holy crap" and we laugh because we forget about the age gap a lot.

I also notice though that I get along very well with older people in general. A lot of my close friends are older (in their 30's) and I value their friendships more than I do of some of my younger friends.

The friends that I do have that ARE my age are very successful already, very mature individuals. One a pharmacist, another lawyer, etc. They're driven, motivated, determined and very mature for their ages as well.

This isn't to say that I don't act my age sometimes because there are definitely a lot of areas in my life where I do. Sometimes I do things that are "very my age" and it catches my older friends off guard, I do have to remind them that yes, I'm still 23 :)

So, I wonder...is your circle of friends around your age too, if you and your SO are close in age? What about those of you who have an age gap...do you also have an age gap with your own friends? I wonder if there is a correlation at all.

I was thinking about it and besides my current best friend- who's 10 years younger, and I've been friends with for about 7 years or so- most of my friends (excepting my sister-cousin) are younger, most around 3-4 years younger. My husband is a year older than I am.
 

purselover

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 20, 2008
Messages
2,066
I'm 9 days older than my husband so not much of a difference! If I weren't with my DH though I would definitely consider someone up to their 40's (I'm 26) I doubt I'd go younger though.
 

isaku5

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 15, 2005
Messages
3,296
DH is 4 years and 3 weeks older than I am. :mrgreen:
 

MissStepcut

Brilliant_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 29, 2011
Messages
1,723
I dated someone 7 years older once. I didn't notice a difference... and that was the problem! Current SO is a little under a year older than me, and we're both 27 going on 40. It works.
 

TooPatient

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Sep 1, 2009
Messages
10,295
Autumnovember|1314818577|3006606 said:
NakedFinger|1314818009|3006602 said:
My husband and I are 1.5 years apart. I think its perfect, it was just enough of a gap for him to be more mature that the guys my age.

My viewpoint on significant age gaps (and I am not trying to offend), is it creeps me out. My parents had me young. So while I love having young parents because we are so close, it pretty much ruined the chance for me to ever date an older guy. While many 25 year old's may not have an issue with dating someone 40, I would always be like "ewww, your only a few years younger than my dad!" That usually halted the pursuing on their end! Haha When I was 20, I had a colleague tell me he was in love with me and he was 38. He didnt see a problem with it, but at the time, my dad was only 42. Dating a guy only 4 years older than me was totally disgusting to me. Maybe the rule of thumb should be, if the gap is big enough that one of the parties could theoretically be your biological parent, maybe its too much of a gap?? HAHA.

I will say though, as someone who has always been way too mature for their age, I can see how dating someone older would be appealing. At 20, I was more like 30. So it probably would have been a lot easier to date someone 30!

(I dont understand how a 20+ age works though. To have someone talk about a time when you werent even born yet has to be weird. "Oh I graduated medical school this year" "Oh, I wasnt even born yet". Weird. Its got to be hard to find things is common? Kind of like these guys: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbi...-aspiring-country-music-singer-Las-Vegas.html What do you think they talk about?? lol)

My dad is 63 so my SO is not even close to his age lol. His father is 75. First time I met his dad he said "Well Mr. AN, sexy little tiger you got there!" :-o :bigsmile:


I could totally seeing it being completely weird for you though, I wouldn't be able to date someone that much older than me if they were close to my parents age either. All of the guys I've dated are just too immature and STILL are (Both of my ex's are now 25) as immature as they were or even worse now.

Me and FI do talk about times when I was in 1st or 2nd grade and we think its funny...nothing weird about it to us. He'll say something and I'll say "oh sweet! I was like what, 5?" and he'll say "oh my gosh, thats right! holy crap" and we laugh because we forget about the age gap a lot.

I also notice though that I get along very well with older people in general. A lot of my close friends are older (in their 30's) and I value their friendships more than I do of some of my younger friends.

The friends that I do have that ARE my age are very successful already, very mature individuals. One a pharmacist, another lawyer, etc. They're driven, motivated, determined and very mature for their ages as well.

This isn't to say that I don't act my age sometimes because there are definitely a lot of areas in my life where I do. Sometimes I do things that are "very my age" and it catches my older friends off guard, I do have to remind them that yes, I'm still 23 :)

So, I wonder...is your circle of friends around your age too, if you and your SO are close in age? What about those of you who have an age gap...do you also have an age gap with your own friends? I wonder if there is a correlation at all.


All of my friends are older. Mostly in their 40s-50s.

No problem with FI being close in age to my parents... he's 7 years older than them.


(I'm 26, FI is 55)
 

Autumnovember

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 28, 2010
Messages
4,384
TooPatient|1314825196|3006680 said:
Autumnovember|1314818577|3006606 said:
NakedFinger|1314818009|3006602 said:
My husband and I are 1.5 years apart. I think its perfect, it was just enough of a gap for him to be more mature that the guys my age.

My viewpoint on significant age gaps (and I am not trying to offend), is it creeps me out. My parents had me young. So while I love having young parents because we are so close, it pretty much ruined the chance for me to ever date an older guy. While many 25 year old's may not have an issue with dating someone 40, I would always be like "ewww, your only a few years younger than my dad!" That usually halted the pursuing on their end! Haha When I was 20, I had a colleague tell me he was in love with me and he was 38. He didnt see a problem with it, but at the time, my dad was only 42. Dating a guy only 4 years older than me was totally disgusting to me. Maybe the rule of thumb should be, if the gap is big enough that one of the parties could theoretically be your biological parent, maybe its too much of a gap?? HAHA.

I will say though, as someone who has always been way too mature for their age, I can see how dating someone older would be appealing. At 20, I was more like 30. So it probably would have been a lot easier to date someone 30!

(I dont understand how a 20+ age works though. To have someone talk about a time when you werent even born yet has to be weird. "Oh I graduated medical school this year" "Oh, I wasnt even born yet". Weird. Its got to be hard to find things is common? Kind of like these guys: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbi...-aspiring-country-music-singer-Las-Vegas.html What do you think they talk about?? lol)

My dad is 63 so my SO is not even close to his age lol. His father is 75. First time I met his dad he said "Well Mr. AN, sexy little tiger you got there!" :-o :bigsmile:


I could totally seeing it being completely weird for you though, I wouldn't be able to date someone that much older than me if they were close to my parents age either. All of the guys I've dated are just too immature and STILL are (Both of my ex's are now 25) as immature as they were or even worse now.

Me and FI do talk about times when I was in 1st or 2nd grade and we think its funny...nothing weird about it to us. He'll say something and I'll say "oh sweet! I was like what, 5?" and he'll say "oh my gosh, thats right! holy crap" and we laugh because we forget about the age gap a lot.

I also notice though that I get along very well with older people in general. A lot of my close friends are older (in their 30's) and I value their friendships more than I do of some of my younger friends.

The friends that I do have that ARE my age are very successful already, very mature individuals. One a pharmacist, another lawyer, etc. They're driven, motivated, determined and very mature for their ages as well.

This isn't to say that I don't act my age sometimes because there are definitely a lot of areas in my life where I do. Sometimes I do things that are "very my age" and it catches my older friends off guard, I do have to remind them that yes, I'm still 23 :)

So, I wonder...is your circle of friends around your age too, if you and your SO are close in age? What about those of you who have an age gap...do you also have an age gap with your own friends? I wonder if there is a correlation at all.


All of my friends are older. Mostly in their 40s-50s.

No problem with FI being close in age to my parents... he's 7 years older than them.


(I'm 26, FI is 55)

I thought I had everyone beat here for a minute!

Was it strange at first and then gradually over time become normal?
 

Scorpioanne

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Oct 14, 2008
Messages
394
My first husband is 6 years older than I and the difference was noticable in that there were things I wanted to do like go out to the bar and go dancing that he was so over having spent years doing that while in a band. DH is 5 years minus 2 days younger than me and the only time we really notice it is when I talk about something from the early 80's and realise that he was still in high school! :lol: . I went to his high school reunion a few years ago and ppl asked me where I went to HS and when I said where they'd say "oh do you know so and so?" and the reality was that I graduated in '77 and DH graduated in '83.
 

Dancing Fire

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 3, 2004
Messages
33,852
Autumnovember|1314826165|3006698 said:
TooPatient|1314825196|3006680 said:
Autumnovember|1314818577|3006606 said:
NakedFinger|1314818009|3006602 said:
My husband and I are 1.5 years apart. I think its perfect, it was just enough of a gap for him to be more mature that the guys my age.

My viewpoint on significant age gaps (and I am not trying to offend), is it creeps me out. My parents had me young. So while I love having young parents because we are so close, it pretty much ruined the chance for me to ever date an older guy. While many 25 year old's may not have an issue with dating someone 40, I would always be like "ewww, your only a few years younger than my dad!" That usually halted the pursuing on their end! Haha When I was 20, I had a colleague tell me he was in love with me and he was 38. He didnt see a problem with it, but at the time, my dad was only 42. Dating a guy only 4 years older than me was totally disgusting to me. Maybe the rule of thumb should be, if the gap is big enough that one of the parties could theoretically be your biological parent, maybe its too much of a gap?? HAHA.

I will say though, as someone who has always been way too mature for their age, I can see how dating someone older would be appealing. At 20, I was more like 30. So it probably would have been a lot easier to date someone 30!

(I dont understand how a 20+ age works though. To have someone talk about a time when you werent even born yet has to be weird. "Oh I graduated medical school this year" "Oh, I wasnt even born yet". Weird. Its got to be hard to find things is common? Kind of like these guys: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbi...-aspiring-country-music-singer-Las-Vegas.html What do you think they talk about?? lol)

My dad is 63 so my SO is not even close to his age lol. His father is 75. First time I met his dad he said "Well Mr. AN, sexy little tiger you got there!" :-o :bigsmile:


I could totally seeing it being completely weird for you though, I wouldn't be able to date someone that much older than me if they were close to my parents age either. All of the guys I've dated are just too immature and STILL are (Both of my ex's are now 25) as immature as they were or even worse now.

Me and FI do talk about times when I was in 1st or 2nd grade and we think its funny...nothing weird about it to us. He'll say something and I'll say "oh sweet! I was like what, 5?" and he'll say "oh my gosh, thats right! holy crap" and we laugh because we forget about the age gap a lot.

I also notice though that I get along very well with older people in general. A lot of my close friends are older (in their 30's) and I value their friendships more than I do of some of my younger friends.

The friends that I do have that ARE my age are very successful already, very mature individuals. One a pharmacist, another lawyer, etc. They're driven, motivated, determined and very mature for their ages as well.

This isn't to say that I don't act my age sometimes because there are definitely a lot of areas in my life where I do. Sometimes I do things that are "very my age" and it catches my older friends off guard, I do have to remind them that yes, I'm still 23 :)

So, I wonder...is your circle of friends around your age too, if you and your SO are close in age? What about those of you who have an age gap...do you also have an age gap with your own friends? I wonder if there is a correlation at all.


All of my friends are older. Mostly in their 40s-50s.

No problem with FI being close in age to my parents... he's 7 years older than them.


(I'm 26, FI is 55)

I thought I had everyone beat here for a minute!

Was it strange at first and then gradually over time become normal?
not really...look ahead 10 yrs from now when she'll be 36 and he'll be 65.
 

Black Jade

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 21, 2008
Messages
1,242
Me and my husband are almost the same age. I'm 5 months older, but joke its a year since I was born the year before.
People of different ages can be in love, and even more, can be soulmates and then unless there's a good reason, why shouldn't they be married?
Was at lunch yesterday with girlfriends and one of them is a 27 year old married to a 45 year old man. They met when she was his au pair (he didn't have a wife at the time). She loves his kids and is great with them. They are obviously very much in love. She seems to like older people--she was at lunch with all us 45-55 year olds without her husband and got along fine (jsut like usual, she's always with us). But this may be partly because when she got married she instantly had teenaged stepchildren and so has more in common with us than newlyweds closer to her age, who don't usually have kids yet or have very little kids.
I have another friend, she is on her second anniversary with her husband, she is nearly forty and he isn't thirty yet. Also, she LOOKS a lot older, almost like his mom. He looks very young and while she's very pretty, she's no Demi Moore. But they are seriously in love. And he is great with the kids. Between them, they have six kids ranging from 18 to 5. He was a widower.
I only have problems with these couples if there is something wierd. Which I would define as like one of my uncles (a dear man in other ways, and now dead for many years) who kept changing his wives as if he were getting a later model of car, just constantly, and they kept getting younger while he got older. and he would marry women who obviously wanted something out of the deal.(he was quite wealthy and successful) It created all kinds of situations, including one where his son, who was the age of the latest stepmom, started an affair with her (or vice versa). It got really incredibly ugly. Like so ugly that someone ended up dead. That kind of thing is a mess. But you don't have to be very different ages to be in seriously messy relationships. So I say live and let live.
The uncle I'm talking about ended up with over 20 children from five different women and was taking care of none of them at his sudden death--the last wife, who was about 25, inherited everything because she was married to him at the time, even though they were just married a short time--the kids from the other women got nothing.
But she IS very nice to our family and has been a very quiet widow now for like 25 years.
 

Black Jade

Brilliant_Rock
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Aug 21, 2008
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1,242
It's chicken or egg question, does the couple with different ages end up hanging out with the older person's friends because they're married to them, or did they end up marrying them because they were hanging out with older people before?
It could be hard to say.
I have friends ranging from about 16 to 80, but I find that most of my friends are clustered in the 35-45 range, which is ten or fifteen years younger than I am. Part of it is that this is who tends to approach me because (it's not such a problem now but it used to be) people generally take me for younger. Women that age tend to get friendly with me because they think I'm that age until I disillusion them, while my exact peers tend not to think I'm their age. This is not a big problem now because I do look about forty finally. It was a huge problem --or at least uncomfortable, when I was forty and looked like twenty-one (most of the time. At my fortieth birthday party I got carded and the waiter would not serve me a drink until I showed him my license. I was the only person at the table that he did that too. It was a truly embarrassing experience). I used to get horribly talked down to and not taken seriously (I am also short) and when I started working again at that age used to wear very stuffy suits all the time in an effort to look somewhat older, which worked sometimes and didn't work sometimes.
I mention this becasue several people in this thread have mentioned that they look older than they are, or that their spouse looks younger or that they met someone and thought they were older or younger and so started dating--I think people may approach others based on the age they look sometimes rather than the age they are, so that their choice of romantic partner may end up being kind of determined by who is approaching them.
My father looked way much younger than he was, much more than I do, when he was seventy, people would think he was forty and it was interesting, he had a bunch of forty year old friends. Also, when he ended up separating from my mother, it was thirty to thirty five year old women who ended up approaching him all the time and he mostly wasn't terribly interested in them because they had children as young as his grandkids and he wasn't interested in raising another family.
He was also very energetic and active so it was hard to hang around his friends his age, who used to, he said, sit around complaining and not moving.
That makes me think, I may also tend to have younger friends becasue I had a late-life baby. I still have a teenager because of that, while most of my peers are WAY done with that. You do often end out hanging out with people that your kids are on the same sports teams and doing the same things also, jsut because you see them all the time. I have two older children who are out of the nest and then this late life baby.
He's always telling me that I'm the age of his friends at school's grandparents, which is basically true. People in their fifties here do have teenaged grandchildren, which is a bit startling to me when I do the math. I could definitely see having grandchildren at my age, many people do, but teenagers? I'd have to have had my kids at 18,and they'd have to have had a kid at eighteen also, which would make the grandkid now sixteen (my son's age) when they are their early fifties. I was way not ready to have kids when I was eighteen.
 

Fly Girl

Ideal_Rock
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Jan 9, 2007
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7,312
DH is 5 weeks older than me, and I don't notice any difference in our ages at all. :bigsmile:
 

centralsquare

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 18, 2009
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2,216
DH and I are two years apart....works for us!
 

AGBF

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
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Jan 26, 2003
Messages
22,143
ame|1314714390|3005351 said:
He is 7 years older. Sometimes its noticeable, others it's not. We're both a couple of fat, overgrown children.

Welcome back, ame!

Deb/AGBF
:appl:
 

Imdanny

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 21, 2008
Messages
6,186
He's two years older.
 
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