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Whats the smallest in diamond size you could go?

kenny

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Thanks, Amelia.
 

orbaya

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For me, the smallest I could personally wear and still be thrilled is a .5ct...if money were no object. The MOST I would go is 2.5 carats, for my hand.

I do live in an area where .5ct is average, though. I have a 1 ct round solitaire that I haven't worn in years because people always commented on how "huge" it was and it made me uncomfortable because people would bring up the salary thing...or the "he must REALLY love you to buy a diamond THAT big!" I have always just wanted to shout to people that diamond size does not equal the amount of love.

I have a gorgeous 5 stone band that I wear as my everyday ring now so I'm happy! :appl:
 

Autumnovember

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CherryBlossom|1305708255|2924649 said:
Autumnovember|1304899200|2915702 said:
Amys Bling|1304898863|2915695 said:
[
I too, go to school/clinicals in a very poor area so at times I am not as comfortable. However, I thought about it and wondered how I would feel if my stone was smaller and I STILL don't think I'd be comfortable wearing it there. A friend and I were walking down one of the streets in a poor neighborhood and I twisted my ring around so the diamond was facing my palm...her diamond is smaller than mine and I was just as nervous for her as I was for myself.

Okay, I need to say this because I think there are many times we read/hear things and don't speak up and on this matter I have to say something even if it ruffles some feathers. I had a VERY difficult taking a lot of the things that you were saying seriously due to the comments you made about poor people and being in a poor area. The fact you mentioned turning your ring around in your palm or being afraid to walk in a "poor area" Are you seriously afraid of the people you work with and the area you work in? are you afraid of all poor people? I am doing my residency in a hospital in Los Angeles and I have go to Compton, East Los Angeles, etc. on a regular basis. It's "poor" area but frankly I have never felt afraid of the poor people that I work with, nor have I ever put myself in a position where I feel unsafe in the location where I am working/walking around in. I would never talk about it the way you described. I just don't understand those comments one bit and was actually offended by them.

I wouldn't wear my ring in the hospital because it would snag on gloves. I would just war a simple band. But that would not have ANYTHING to do w/ poor people being around. I don't understand why them being "poor" and you feeling "safe" had to keep getting brought up :(

Anyway, besides that. Sure, making comments about either ppl w/ a small ring or a large ring is insulting. BUT there is a difference. Someone who has a large rock could most likely afford a smaller stone but someone with a smaller stone may simply not be able to do the same. For us to act that personal identity value isn't placed on larger stones ignores simple socio-economic issues.

Furthermore, I feel like nobody can make you feel judged unless you actually think that they have a right to judge you. If you felt like someone was being rude to you, it's your job to set your boundaries w/ people and address them the correct way. People can't insult you unless you let them. This convo seems like the a skinny pretty girl saying "why is it rude to make fun of people who are overweight, but okay to make fun of me just because I'm skinny and pretty." People have teased me about my center stone, people tease me about all types of stuff, but it's okay cuz I tease them for being obsessed about other things. I don't get offended by it because I understand why they are doing it. You can't become insulted by something that you're proud of, no matter who makes fun of it and you shouldn't surround yourself w/ people who take jabs at you. That's toxic. I don't aim to please or appease anyone, only those who truly matter to me... and they are not many.

Well, perhaps I should have added to the fact that in this particular area where my school is located there is a lot of violence and a lot of robberies/muggings. Why would I want to wear my diamond ring in an area where people are starving? No thanks. While some people may look at my ring and think "wow thats beautiful" I know for sure that some of my patients would inevitably think many other things and not necessarily bad. Do I feel unsafe? Ummmm...yes. Why? Because the other day there was a shooting right on the street that our school is located on. I park next to cars with bullet holes in them. Last December was the first month in 13 years that there wasn't a murder. It competes with detroit for #1 dangerous city in the U.S. Am I supposed to feel safe? I don't live in fantasy land where I think I'm safe in an area that ISN'T in fact SAFE, just because it would make me feel better. Why would I want to make myself a target by wearing my ring (and this goes for anyone wearing any kind of diamonds big or small)? Reality is, it DOES make me a target. I can be a target because I'm a female, I'm little, ANYTHING. Jewelry is INCLUDED.

And maybe this will ruffle your feathers but I could give a poop less if you take what I say seriously. You don't have to. If you aren't afraid of the area you work in, good for you but thats not me. Your own post makes me take you less seriously too so the feeling is mutual.


There are boundaries to be set with certain people. Would you set boundaries with your boss if he made a comment similar to the one that was made to me? Probably not.

How you react to insults is just that, how YOU react. I don't react the way you do.

By the way, it isn't a choice to surround myself with people who take jabs at me considering that it was a classmate who I see on a daily basis.
 

MichelleCarmen

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Autumnovember|1306108594|2927977 said:
CherryBlossom|1305708255|2924649 said:
Autumnovember|1304899200|2915702 said:
Amys Bling|1304898863|2915695 said:
[
I too, go to school/clinicals in a very poor area so at times I am not as comfortable. However, I thought about it and wondered how I would feel if my stone was smaller and I STILL don't think I'd be comfortable wearing it there. A friend and I were walking down one of the streets in a poor neighborhood and I twisted my ring around so the diamond was facing my palm...her diamond is smaller than mine and I was just as nervous for her as I was for myself.

Okay, I need to say this because I think there are many times we read/hear things and don't speak up and on this matter I have to say something even if it ruffles some feathers. I had a VERY difficult taking a lot of the things that you were saying seriously due to the comments you made about poor people and being in a poor area. The fact you mentioned turning your ring around in your palm or being afraid to walk in a "poor area" Are you seriously afraid of the people you work with and the area you work in? are you afraid of all poor people? I am doing my residency in a hospital in Los Angeles and I have go to Compton, East Los Angeles, etc. on a regular basis. It's "poor" area but frankly I have never felt afraid of the poor people that I work with, nor have I ever put myself in a position where I feel unsafe in the location where I am working/walking around in. I would never talk about it the way you described. I just don't understand those comments one bit and was actually offended by them.

I wouldn't wear my ring in the hospital because it would snag on gloves. I would just war a simple band. But that would not have ANYTHING to do w/ poor people being around. I don't understand why them being "poor" and you feeling "safe" had to keep getting brought up :(

Anyway, besides that. Sure, making comments about either ppl w/ a small ring or a large ring is insulting. BUT there is a difference. Someone who has a large rock could most likely afford a smaller stone but someone with a smaller stone may simply not be able to do the same. For us to act that personal identity value isn't placed on larger stones ignores simple socio-economic issues.

Furthermore, I feel like nobody can make you feel judged unless you actually think that they have a right to judge you. If you felt like someone was being rude to you, it's your job to set your boundaries w/ people and address them the correct way. People can't insult you unless you let them. This convo seems like the a skinny pretty girl saying "why is it rude to make fun of people who are overweight, but okay to make fun of me just because I'm skinny and pretty." People have teased me about my center stone, people tease me about all types of stuff, but it's okay cuz I tease them for being obsessed about other things. I don't get offended by it because I understand why they are doing it. You can't become insulted by something that you're proud of, no matter who makes fun of it and you shouldn't surround yourself w/ people who take jabs at you. That's toxic. I don't aim to please or appease anyone, only those who truly matter to me... and they are not many.

Well, perhaps I should have added to the fact that in this particular area where my school is located there is a lot of violence and a lot of robberies/muggings. Why would I want to wear my diamond ring in an area where people are starving? No thanks. While some people may look at my ring and think "wow thats beautiful" I know for sure that some of my patients would inevitably think many other things and not necessarily bad. Do I feel unsafe? Ummmm...yes. Why? Because the other day there was a shooting right on the street that our school is located on. I park next to cars with bullet holes in them. Last December was the first month in 13 years that there wasn't a murder. It competes with detroit for #1 dangerous city in the U.S. Am I supposed to feel safe? I don't live in fantasy land where I think I'm safe in an area that ISN'T in fact SAFE, just because it would make me feel better. Why would I want to make myself a target by wearing my ring (and this goes for anyone wearing any kind of diamonds big or small)? Reality is, it DOES make me a target. I can be a target because I'm a female, I'm little, ANYTHING. Jewelry is INCLUDED.

And maybe this will ruffle your feathers but I could give a poop less if you take what I say seriously. You don't have to. If you aren't afraid of the area you work in, good for you but thats not me. Your own post makes me take you less seriously too so the feeling is mutual.


There are boundaries to be set with certain people. Would you set boundaries with your boss if he made a comment similar to the one that was made to me? Probably not.

How you react to insults is just that, how YOU react. I don't react the way you do.

By the way, it isn't a choice to surround myself with people who take jabs at me considering that it was a classmate who I see on a daily basis.

We moved from an upper-middle-class neighborhood to a more working class (due to not finding a rental/stuck in a lease where we're at till end of summer) and I admit even though people aren't starving and there are not any shootings (I check the crime updates weekly on the county website), I quit wearing my studs and they're not even big - only .82ctw. The other day I did put them in b/c I was going to a school function (school in the nicer neighborhood) and the next day decided to go for a walk and thought, "wait, what the h*ll am I doing wearing these around here?". I would never have thought that where I lived before. Little things like that seem like common sense to me. Why make one self a target? I think intuition is key in situations like these!
 

merilenda

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This doesn't add to the conversation really, but I just wanted to add that actually St. Louis is the most dangerous city in the US, not Detroit. That figure is...skewed for reasons I won't bore anything with here. But I just had to pipe up since my old stomping grounds were being overlooked. :cheeky:
 

Autumnovember

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merilenda|1306194136|2928637 said:
This doesn't add to the conversation really, but I just wanted to add that actually St. Louis is the most dangerous city in the US, not Detroit. That figure is...skewed for reasons I won't bore anything with here. But I just had to pipe up since my old stomping grounds were being overlooked. :cheeky:

You're right. Camden, Detroit, St. Louis and a few others take the #1 spot every other year.
 

Autumnovember

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Bumping this because I'd like for the person that I responded to, to see it.
 

manderz

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I've been hemming and hawing about responding, because I'm really not sure what my answer would be. I can't eliminate the money issue, it's just beyond my capacities as money is ALWAYS a concern. I've never purchased something without thinking about "Can I get a better deal some where else?" or "Do I need to spend this much money on {item}?" So, I will tell you about how I came to choose the ring I did. I was working at a jewelry store, and got to try on all sorts of beautiful pieces. When we were discussing engagement, I found two specific stones that I was in love with, and could not decide between. One was a .78 slightly elongated princess, and the other was what I ended up with, my 1.04 round. I would have been equally happy with either size. The round ended up slightly edging out the princess because I already had a princess cut 3stone that I still love.
 

kindred

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I haven't read the whole thread, but I don't really see how you can take price out of the equation when talking about such an expensive luxury item as a diamond.
 

Pandora II

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A few bits and pieces from me... I'm based in the UK.

If you really want to get some rude comments intended or otherwise then have a coloured stone e-ring! I get fairly irritated on PS when I see people saying 'why not just get a coloured stone till you can afford the diamond'... not much different from saying 'just get the one carat till you can afford the 3ct'.

Despite the fact that I could have had a diamond well above the average size for the UK for the cost of my e-ring I have had people insinuate that my husband is cheap, that I'm hoping to 'upgrade to a diamond' when we can afford to and my own grandmother tell me that my cousin has just given his FI a 0.75ct diamond for an e-ring and she hopes I won't be upset because mine is only a coloured stone! Amongst our friends it has never been an issue as they all know that I am obsessed with gemstones and assume that I will have picked something pretty decent.

I fo hate feeling like I have to justify my having chosen to have a coloured stone, or explain that many coloured stones can cost way, way more than any white diamond of the same size and that some people just don't really care for diamonds...

Since my daughter was born I have acquired a 3-stone OEC ring of around 2cttw. When my grandmother saw it her reaction was that finally my husband was treating me how he should! :-o I got my mother to tell her on the quiet that it cost rather less than my e-ring and she was apparently speechless. I wasn't that pleased with myself for getting my mother to do that but I hated feeling that my grandmother felt that about my husband and wanted to make him look good in her eyes - I also didn't mention that I bought the diamond ring for myself!

It's interesting how much stock people put on what your husband/FI can give you in terms of a rock.

Regarding the size of diamond that is the smallest I would wear... 0.01pts (several in a setting with a nice coloured stone please). Okay, seriously if money was no object and I wanted a diamond e-ring then I'd be fine with 0.5ct, but my ideal size would be around 1ct. Anything much over 1.5ct is too big.

Partly because I live in the UK. Here, if I was to see a young girl - say early 20's with anything over a 1.5ct I'm afraid I would assume that it was probably fake or that she was American.
 

GliderPoss

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Interesting discussion - I dont think people should be too quick to be offended about small diamonds, as others have pointed out saying that large ones are "tacky" is also hurtful.

Mine is 0.25ct and yes that is due to budget so I didn't have a choice but I do really love it. :love: On the other hand if I was offered a 3ct asscher or emerald cut I certainly wouldn't say no! :lol:
 

Indylady

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.25 to .5 would be just fine for me.
 

partgypsy

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This is an old post but I'd say a 1/3 carat or maybe even less depending on how it was set. If it was a skinny stacker ring maybe 10 points in a single bezel? The 2 diamond rings I own, one is a 1/3 carater in a thick 2 tone bezel setting I get a lot of compliments from. The other ring has a .47 carat center round stone and it's all I've ever wanted in a diamond ring (no plans for upgrading).

Pandora I'm surprised at the comments of your GORGEOUS RING (which I would want to steal). I think of British and Europeans in general being more sophisticated about colored stones for engagement rings (see: Diana or Catherine's ring). But maybe the world is getting Americanized regarding diamonds as end all be all for engagements.

Autumn November I'm not your original poster, but I'm with you. I've lived in not so safe areas in Chicago and Durham. When I lived in Chicago there was a shocking case of a women being attacked and beaten in front of witnesses in the Subway because they wanted her gold necklace. Ever since then I've been very aware of how I am perceived when traveling in not safe areas. (look like you know where you are going and not to be f*cked with, don't attract attention including flashy jewelry). The only linguistic distinction I would make would be to substitute "poor" for "crime-ridden" as they are not synonymous.
 

Autumnovember

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part gypsy|1307383865|2939093 said:
wow I searched for mugged and ring and so many stories came up :o
Don't feel safe because you are in a "safe" neighborhood either. One was from Lincoln Park Chicago.

Attached is a story that happened just outside a Whole Foods in Dallas.

http://www.wfaa.com/news/crime/North-Dallas-Woman-has-75-carat-Diamond-Stolen-in-Violent-Attack-82752882.html

Be safe.


Thank you for the post--that is exactly what I was getting at. About to go read the article now!
 

yssie

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1. A 7.5ct ring only worth 90k - what was wrong with it?
2. She says she was wearing it w/ diamond palm-side, as she often does - if you have the presence of mind to recognise that you are safer turning it, you presumably have the presence of mind to recognise that wearing 100k on your finger at that time and place is a bad idea. Only an absolute idiot courts trouble like that.
 

Sparkly_Not_Gaudy

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Yssie|1307385487|2939112 said:
1. A 7.5ct ring only worth 90k - what was wrong with it?
2. She says she was wearing it w/ diamond palm-side, as she often does - if you have the presence of mind to recognise that you are safer turning it, you presumably have the presence of mind to recognise that wearing 100k on your finger at that time and place is a bad idea. Only an absolute idiot courts trouble like that.

ARE YOU BLAMING THE VICTIM?!

She should be able to shop at Whole Foods and not worry about being bloodied, no matter what.
 

Sparkly_Not_Gaudy

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KittyGolightly|1304963501|2916416 said:
Wow, those are some pretty rings, Lula! I'm in love with the aquamarine from the March 19th post.

I have a pair of diamond studs that a friend gave to me. They are beautiful, but quite small. I'm not sure of the exact size, but each one is less that a quarter carat. I'm tall-ish (5' 9"), and have a big face. I've never felt comfortable wearing those earrings. I just feel like I'm wearing little girl jewelry when I put them in. So, sadly, they sit in a box and I wear fakes instead. I'll give them to my niece when she gets bigger.

.
You could put them in jackets and enjoy them.
 

yssie

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Sparkly_Not_Gaudy|1307388057|2939141 said:
Yssie|1307385487|2939112 said:
1. A 7.5ct ring only worth 90k - what was wrong with it?
2. She says she was wearing it w/ diamond palm-side, as she often does - if you have the presence of mind to recognise that you are safer turning it, you presumably have the presence of mind to recognise that wearing 100k on your finger at that time and place is a bad idea. Only an absolute idiot courts trouble like that.

ARE YOU BLAMING THE VICTIM?!

She should be able to shop at Whole Foods and not worry about being bloodied, no matter what.


Oh honestly, of course not. She obviously shouldn't have been mauled.
Her lack of common sense is baffling. By the time most hit 20 they recognise that we don't live in a perfect world, and make the appropriate adjustments... bleating about how it was unjust does little good when she is the one sitting in hospital getting stitches - and it all could've been so easily avoided.
 

CherryBlossom

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Autumnovember|1306378334|2930476 said:
Bumping this because I'd like for the person that I responded to, to see it.

Out of all these pages of comments, why is it so important for me to respond to this? What do you want me to say? I don't like the way you worded yourself. It made you sound snobby and it made "poor" people sound like animals. It's also not the only comment that you made on here that just sounded weird and snobby. I am sorry but I don't get it. Are you a resident? finishing medical school? I really hope that you have better bedside manners.

I am at UCLA and none of my peers would talk about other individuals in that way. That's why it just sounded a bit off to me. That's my opinion, just like you're entitled to yours. But it shouldn't really matter what my opinion is, didn't you say that you "could give a poop less if you take what I say seriously. You don't have to." ??

and in regards to everything else you said about the classmate, you have the ability to control that. The classmate is not your boss, so there's no excuse why you shouldn't assert your boundaries. Are you asking if I would push back a little if a boss was constantly taking jabs at me? mmmm yes, I would. If I began to take the jabs personally and it bothered me THAT much, I would certainly say something. why not?
 

CherryBlossom

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Yssie|1307399945|2939273 said:
Sparkly_Not_Gaudy|1307388057|2939141 said:
Yssie|1307385487|2939112 said:
1. A 7.5ct ring only worth 90k - what was wrong with it?
2. She says she was wearing it w/ diamond palm-side, as she often does - if you have the presence of mind to recognise that you are safer turning it, you presumably have the presence of mind to recognise that wearing 100k on your finger at that time and place is a bad idea. Only an absolute idiot courts trouble like that.

ARE YOU BLAMING THE VICTIM?!

She should be able to shop at Whole Foods and not worry about being bloodied, no matter what.


Oh honestly, of course not. She obviously shouldn't have been mauled.
Her lack of common sense is baffling. By the time most hit 20 they recognise that we don't live in a perfect world, and make the appropriate adjustments... bleating about how it was unjust does little good when she is the one sitting in hospital getting stitches - and it all could've been so easily avoided.

exactly. why must we fight common sense?
 

Autumnovember

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CherryBlossom|1307413294|2939521 said:
Autumnovember|1306378334|2930476 said:
Bumping this because I'd like for the person that I responded to, to see it.

What do you want me to say? I don't like the way you worded yourself. It made you sound snobby and it made "poor" people sound like animals. It's also not the only comment that you made that just sounded weird and snobby. I am sorry but I don't get it. Are you a resident? finishing medical school? I really hope that you have better bedside manners.

I am at UCLA and none of my peers would talk about other individuals in that way. That's why it just sounded a bit off to me. That's my opinion, just like you're entitled to yours. But it shouldn't really matter what my opinion is, didn't you say that you "could give a poop less if you take what I say seriously. You don't have to." ??

why is so important for me to respond to this


LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have to laugh. I really do. I could see why your friend felt like the victim. Look at the way YOU speak to people. I know you must think you're this open minded person who is so holier than thou but really, you're not.

You can think I'm weird and snobby alllllll you want. You're right, I must be pretty weird if I'm *snobby* and picked a school in the location that it is in.

If you don't like my comments, you should probably put my on ignore, just like after this, I'm doing with you.

There was absolutely nothing I said that was off or not an actual fact. Hopefully all the DNP's AND nurses that teach me, have better bedside manners than me too since its they too, know the fact.

By the way, learn some PS etiquette. You'll know exactly why it mattered to respond.

Oh and since you're so worried about my bedside manners, all my patients absolutely love me, hopefully you can sleep better at night now.
 

CherryBlossom

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Autumnovember|1307413729|2939527 said:
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have to laugh. I really do. I could see why your friend felt like the victim. Look at the way YOU speak to people. I know you must think you're this open minded person who is so holier than thou but really, you're not.

You can think I'm weird and snobby alllllll you want. You're right, I must be pretty weird if I'm *snobby* and picked a school in the location that it is in.

If you don't like my comments, you should probably put my on ignore, just like after this, I'm doing with you.

There was absolutely nothing I said that was off or not an actual fact. Hopefully all the DNP's AND nurses that teach me, have better bedside manners than me too since its they too, know the fact.

By the way, learn some PS etiquette. You'll know exactly why it mattered to respond.


Please remember that my "friend" is an individual who called a total strange the "N" word and proceeded to defend her right to use the word. I don't regret a single thing that I think about or said to her. And if I ever hear her saying anything racist to totally innocent people ever again, I am going to say more. Honestly do you really want to go down that road w/ me?

But again, it shouldn't matter if one tiny comment you made sounds snobby to my ears. why does it matter what I think? I don't care that much about your comments to put you on ignore. I don't have anyone on ignore, nobody gets to me that much. I made ONE comment to you saying that it just sounded a bit snobby to me and you are going on this rant. It's really not a big deal, especially if I am wrong and you're not a snob.

I am sorry that you took my words the way you did, I am not into internet flame wars. Please don't be so defensive. I am a complete stranger on the internet, what I think about something you wrote on the internet does not matter in the grand scheme of things. keep on talking about poor people in whatever way you please. :loopy:

Autumnovember|1307413729|2939527 said:
Oh and since you're so worried about my bedside manners, all my patients absolutely love me, hopefully you can sleep better at night now.

Good! They should! that's our job. Are you a resident? nurse? med student? if you want to keep on talking about "poor" people in front of your patients like this, go for it! I just think that's pretty strange.
 

CherryBlossom

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Amys Bling|1305948192|2927052 said:
Cherryblssom
The quote regarding clinicals and turning your ring around was AN, not mine and the way it was quoted was misleading... If you read back on earlier pages you will see what I am referring to... The way it is quoted makes it look line I was saying that so I am confused why you have a hard time taking me seriously???? Many people here don't wear certain things while traveling, etc. I don't like to show up at someone's house wearing an expensive luxury item while they can't afford food, heat etc. I just think it's rude. I never indicated anything about feeling unsafe.

My bad, when I pressed the "quote" box it must have been a copy of a copy so your name showed up on top instead of the original poster. I totally agree w/ the way you put it and that makes sense, I just didn't agree w/ AN/OP.
 

Autumnovember

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CherryBlossom|1307414259|2939532 said:
Autumnovember|1307413729|2939527 said:
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have to laugh. I really do. I could see why your friend felt like the victim. Look at the way YOU speak to people. I know you must think you're this open minded person who is so holier than thou but really, you're not.

You can think I'm weird and snobby alllllll you want. You're right, I must be pretty weird if I'm *snobby* and picked a school in the location that it is in.

If you don't like my comments, you should probably put my on ignore, just like after this, I'm doing with you.

There was absolutely nothing I said that was off or not an actual fact. Hopefully all the DNP's AND nurses that teach me, have better bedside manners than me too since its they too, know the fact.

By the way, learn some PS etiquette. You'll know exactly why it mattered to respond.


Please remember that my "friend" is an individual who called a total strange the "N" word and proceeded to defend her right to use the word. I don't regret a single thing that I think about or said to her. And if I ever hear her saying anything racist to totally innocent people ever again, I am going to say more. Honestly do you really want to go down that road w/ me?

But again, it shouldn't matter if one tiny comment you made sounds snobby to my ears. why does it matter what I think? I don't care that much about your comments to put you on ignore. I don't have anyone on ignore, nobody gets to me that much. I made ONE comment to you saying that it just sounded a bit snobby to me and you are going on this rant. It's really not a big deal, especially if I am wrong and you're not a snob.

I am sorry that you took my words the way you did, I am not into internet flame wars. Please don't be so defensive. I am a complete stranger on the internet, what I think about something you wrote on the internet does not matter in the grand scheme of things. keep on talking about poor people in whatever way you please. :loopy:

Autumnovember|1307413729|2939527 said:
Oh and since you're so worried about my bedside manners, all my patients absolutely love me, hopefully you can sleep better at night now.

Good! They should! that's our job. Are you a resident? nurse? med student? if you want to keep on talking about "poor" people in front of your patients like this, go for it! I just think that's pretty strange.

Ok, I'm going to say this one more time.....

I didn't say anything bad about anyone. I said they were poor. They are. I said I felt unsafe. I do. I said it is an area of very high crime rate. It is.

You keep telling me to "go for it and talk about them that way" ....There is nothing I'm saying that isn't true. And actually, when I parked a few blocks away from my school a woman who lives in the area came up to me and told me I had better go park somewhere else if I wanted to make it back to my car alive. My own PATIENTS tell me that the area is horrible, that they are INDEED poor. Nothing I said was a fabrication or derogatory.
 

packrat

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
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Messages
10,614
If someone said "He must looove you" comments to me I'd just smile and say "Yeah, my fiance/husband loves me way more than yours loves you. Sorry about your luck" point and laugh at them and then walk away.
 

FrekeChild

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Dec 14, 2007
Messages
19,456
Pandora|1306881735|2934808 said:
A few bits and pieces from me... I'm based in the UK.

If you really want to get some rude comments intended or otherwise then have a coloured stone e-ring! I get fairly irritated on PS when I see people saying 'why not just get a coloured stone till you can afford the diamond'... not much different from saying 'just get the one carat till you can afford the 3ct'.

Despite the fact that I could have had a diamond well above the average size for the UK for the cost of my e-ring I have had people insinuate that my husband is cheap, that I'm hoping to 'upgrade to a diamond' when we can afford to and my own grandmother tell me that my cousin has just given his FI a 0.75ct diamond for an e-ring and she hopes I won't be upset because mine is only a coloured stone! Amongst our friends it has never been an issue as they all know that I am obsessed with gemstones and assume that I will have picked something pretty decent.

I fo hate feeling like I have to justify my having chosen to have a coloured stone, or explain that many coloured stones can cost way, way more than any white diamond of the same size and that some people just don't really care for diamonds...

Since my daughter was born I have acquired a 3-stone OEC ring of around 2cttw. When my grandmother saw it her reaction was that finally my husband was treating me how he should! :-o I got my mother to tell her on the quiet that it cost rather less than my e-ring and she was apparently speechless. I wasn't that pleased with myself for getting my mother to do that but I hated feeling that my grandmother felt that about my husband and wanted to make him look good in her eyes - I also didn't mention that I bought the diamond ring for myself!

It's interesting how much stock people put on what your husband/FI can give you in terms of a rock.

Regarding the size of diamond that is the smallest I would wear... 0.01pts (several in a setting with a nice coloured stone please). Okay, seriously if money was no object and I wanted a diamond e-ring then I'd be fine with 0.5ct, but my ideal size would be around 1ct. Anything much over 1.5ct is too big.

Partly because I live in the UK. Here, if I was to see a young girl - say early 20's with anything over a 1.5ct I'm afraid I would assume that it was probably fake or that she was American.
Ah, the old colored stone ering vs. the diamond ering! Pandora, you already know I'm on your side with that. Mine WAS much cheaper than a diamond, but I didn't get it for that reason. He would have bought me whatever I wanted. Besides, I have almost 20 erings now, and you can't get that kind of variety from diamonds!

Did I mention that I have a .75ct old cut diamond floating around in my gem box? Along with some more expensive garnets, sapphires and spinels!

As for the topic at hand, my mom bought me a tiny chip of a diamond and I wear it happily...not often as an ering anymore, but that's mostly because it's yellow gold.

As far as the controversy over crime/lower SES neighborhoods/bling...I work with homeless people. Most of them have serious criminal backgrounds. None of them have money, otherwise they wouldn't be applying to the government for benefits. I don't feel comfortable wearing a lot of my jewelry to work. My 1ctw earrings? Wear them every day. They are badly in need of a cleaning, they aren't round and because of both of those things, they don't look like diamonds! I tend to wear smaller erings (9mm is the biggest, most typical size is 6.5mm) and I don't wear anything thats at all ostentatious. I don't know the specific background of most of the people walking through the door. I am not going to put myself or my office at further risk. I remember every single day that these people are often living off of $240 a month, which wouldn't even pay my utility bills!
 

Autumnovember

Ideal_Rock
Joined
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4,384
packrat|1307415990|2939560 said:
If someone said "He must looove you" comments to me I'd just smile and say "Yeah, my fiance/husband loves me way more than yours loves you. Sorry about your luck" point and laugh at them and then walk away.


Hahahaha, I was actually thinking about this the other day.

Recently, someone said that to me and I just told them to stop because to me, carats don't equate with how much my FI loves me...thats just stupid.
 

FrekeChild

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 14, 2007
Messages
19,456
packrat|1307415990|2939560 said:
If someone said "He must looove you" comments to me I'd just smile and say "Yeah, my fiance/husband loves me way more than yours loves you. Sorry about your luck" point and laugh at them and then walk away.
Once upon a time I wore my mom's 1.52ct princess to work. The temp employee at the time looks at it and says "Wow! Your dad must have really loved your mom!"

I F-ing hate that shiz. Size has nothing to do with how much someone loves someone else.
 
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