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Showing off?

rubybeth

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Nov 12, 2007
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I just got a jewelry birthday gift yesterday, and I keep having the urge to post on Facebook to tell my friends how happy I am with the present from my husband. However, I keep thinking this will be seen as showing off/bragging or hypocritical seeing as we've been very open about how we're working hard to pay off our student loan debt ASAP. I don't want to justify my gift, I just want to enjoy it as the special thing that it is.

What do you do when you get a new piece? Show it off to friends/family? Say nothing and let them notice for themselves? My friends know of my jewelry obsession (heck, I've now helped 5 friends buy engagement rings) but my social anxiety is off the charts when it comes to this. :sick: My birthday isn't until the end of the month, so I'm nervous for when people ask, "What did you do/get for your birthday?" I am always inserting my foot directly into my mouth and just want to have something gracious to say (for once). :???:
 

Tanzigrrl

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Sep 17, 2010
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744
Great topic! I struggle with this myself.

I show off my jewelry here and thank goodness for PS. I can show off my "play pretties" here and not be judged and it's not weird to talk about metal type, stats, etc. etc.

In real life, it's much harder. Ex: last Christmas, I was at a party and a very well-intentioned friend ran up and said, "Hey, Tanzigrrl, what kind of jewelry did you get for Christmas?" I really did get a lovely piece (to me, from me - for Christmas, but still). The couple I was standing with had just said that they have to get a new roof due to storm damage and I felt really awkward. :rolleyes:

I buy jewelry for myself all the time and I help my friends find key pieces they're looking for. My good friends just accept that this is my hobby and part of me and whenever they have questions/need advice in that department, they come directly to me. And, it's a lot of fun! But, with friends and acquaintances that I don't know as well, it can get really weird. I have a friend who has developed an allergy to her WG ring. I said, "Oh, platinum will work" and she said, "Do you know how much platinum is, it would be way too much for us to buy a new wedding band and redo my engagement ring in platinum!" :sick: It felt extra weird because she knows my rings are platinum due to my own nickel sensitivities.

So, yeah, no solutions, just commiseration. I feel awkward about it sometimes, too. But, that said, I'm not shoving it in anyone's face and I'm not living some life of excessive luxury, it's just that I choose to spend what discretionary money I have on jewelry.
 

MichelleCarmen

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Feb 8, 2003
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You say nothing and let them notice and ask about it if they decide to.

Here on PS we have fun showing off our stuff, but in real life, it's inappropriate to either post on a regular family/friends FB or show someone in person because jewelry is a luxury item and it will come across as bragging by some people.

FWIW, I've never had someone come up an announce they got a new piece. One friend recently upgraded and she didn't say ANYTHING and so I told her her ring is pretty and she thanked me and said it had been a surprise upgrade. We left it at that. Sweet and simple is best, IMO.
 

MonkeyPie

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Apr 23, 2008
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MC|1302813291|2896164 said:
You say nothing and let them notice and ask about it if they decide to.

Here on PS we have fun showing off our stuff, but in real life, it's inappropriate to either post on a regular family/friends FB or show someone in person because jewelry is a luxury item and it will come across as bragging by some people.

FWIW, I've never had someone come up an announce they got a new piece. One friend recently upgraded and she didn't say ANYTHING and so I told her her ring is pretty and she thanked me and said it had been a surprise upgrade. We left it at that. Sweet and simple is best, IMO.

I guess I was inappropriate when I ran up and told all my friends about my engagement and showed them my ring...or when I got my wedding band...or my studs...crap, every time I got pretties. No one ever acted like I was bragging, and I have friends that certainly would have told me if I had been.

OP, it depends on your friends. Only you know their personalities. Yeah, it sucks, but just because they had to replace a car/roof/whatever and have no money for "frivilous" stuff doesn't mean you should be embarrassed about your well-thought-out gift.
 

MichelleCarmen

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Feb 8, 2003
Messages
15,880
MonkeyPie|1302813755|2896171 said:
MC|1302813291|2896164 said:
You say nothing and let them notice and ask about it if they decide to.

Here on PS we have fun showing off our stuff, but in real life, it's inappropriate to either post on a regular family/friends FB or show someone in person because jewelry is a luxury item and it will come across as bragging by some people.

FWIW, I've never had someone come up an announce they got a new piece. One friend recently upgraded and she didn't say ANYTHING and so I told her her ring is pretty and she thanked me and said it had been a surprise upgrade. We left it at that. Sweet and simple is best, IMO.

I guess I was inappropriate when I ran up and told all my friends about my engagement and showed them my ring...or when I got my wedding band...or my studs...crap, every time I got pretties. No one ever acted like I was bragging, and I have friends that certainly would have told me if I had been.

OP, it depends on your friends. Only you know their personalities. Yeah, it sucks, but just because they had to replace a car/roof/whatever and have no money for "frivilous" stuff doesn't mean you should be embarrassed about your well-thought-out gift.

Clearly you know your friends' personalities so all was good with you. Based on a single post by a person (the OPer) we cannot say how her friends/family will react, because we don't know her aquaintances, so I think it's better to suggest refraining. But, whatever. It's not like it's that big of a deal!

And this is another one of the numerous anecdotal threads...no matter what any of us experience, a crystal ball won't form from stories to provide a clear answer :)
 

elrohwen

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May 20, 2008
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5,542
I'm fine showing something new off to friends, whether it's a new purse or new jewelry (not that I've had any new jewelry lately), but I wouldn't post on Facebook. None of my good friends would think I was showing off, but I think FB seems more like bragging since you're literally telling everyone you know, kwim?
 

MonkeyPie

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Messages
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MC|1302814326|2896183 said:
Clearly you know your friends' personalities so all was good with you. Based on a single post by a person (the OPer) we cannot say how her friends/family will react, because we don't know her aquaintances, so I think it's better to suggest refraining. But, whatever. It's not like it's that big of a deal!

And this is another one of the numerous anecdotal threads...no matter what any of us experience, a crystal ball won't form from stories to provide a clear answer :)

Agreed. In this case, however, it doesn't have to do with death or birth defects. :rolleyes: I was just making a point.
 

MichelleCarmen

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MonkeyPie|1302814555|2896201 said:
MC|1302814326|2896183 said:
Clearly you know your friends' personalities so all was good with you. Based on a single post by a person (the OPer) we cannot say how her friends/family will react, because we don't know her aquaintances, so I think it's better to suggest refraining. But, whatever. It's not like it's that big of a deal!

And this is another one of the numerous anecdotal threads...no matter what any of us experience, a crystal ball won't form from stories to provide a clear answer :)

Agreed. In this case, however, it doesn't have to do with death or birth defects. :rolleyes: I was just making a point.

Okay, I'm just scratching my head at this one and moving on... ;-)
 

rubybeth

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Nov 12, 2007
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I will definitely NOT post on FB based on this feedback. Good to know I'm not the only one who feels weird about this, though, Tanzigrrl! Thank goodness for PS and all the awesome posters here to share our love of jewelry.

I guess if anyone asks about my birthday gift in person, I can choose to tell/show them or not based on what I know about them. I think most of my friends/family would just be happy for me, but others might be more judgmental.

I still feel sort of badly about showing off my engagement ring when I first got it (3 years ago!), specifically to a friend who'd gotten engaged not long before me. I said something stupid about it not being a big ring, then realized her ring is much smaller. :errrr: I just need to learn to be quiet! :oops:
 

slg47

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Apr 4, 2010
Messages
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this is what PS is great for :) show off all you want!
 

lbbaber

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Feb 18, 2011
Messages
691
Hmmmm, good question. I just debated this myself bc I recently got a new engagement ring. My final answer was to show it off. I pick my "friends" for a reason--- becasue they ARE my family and friends. I was excited and wanted to show it off (and the hoops I got recently too). If someone is going to judge me based on what I do on MY facebook page, then its not someone I care to have on my list.

Another reason I chose to post them was because I have ALOT of family out of state (including 3 sisters). This is where we show our pictures. My sisters wanted to see them!! I figured since my page is very private and ONLY my friends and family can see what I post then why not?? Sure, not everyone is doing as financaily well right now but that doesnt mean that people will spite you for being happy. Should I not post news of a pregnancy bc their are people on my list trying to get pregnant? I would like to think that my friends/family are happy for me as I am for them when good things go their way.

Finally, I have seen others on my list post their "goodies" too. I am not the only one. If we are happy and want to share then why not?? Its not like I am going down to the local food panty with my bling saying "look at me!!!". For safety sake though, I would make sure you have a private setting before posting anything of value.

Congrats on your new bling!!
 

rosetta

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Jan 7, 2010
Messages
3,417
It's not my style to show off (except on PS!)

But I'm not that bothered if others do.
 

tigian

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Feb 25, 2009
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2,731
I only show off on PS...definitely would feel silly posting on FB. I get slightly embarrassed when certain people notice new things that I am wearing. There are other people, like my sister, who I can't wait to show because they will be as happy with my new things as I am.
 

slg47

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well now you can really easily link your SMTB thread to your facebook/twitter account!
 

shihtzulover

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Jun 30, 2010
Messages
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I struggle with this, too - and not just with jewelry. I am so proud that I have a wonderful fiance who is so thoughtful and amazing, but on the other hand, I definitely get the feeling that it gets too brag-y sometimes. I try to only post things like that in moderation, so that I can be proud and so that he can feel good knowing that I love something enough to post about it on fb, but I don't mention every little thing.

I think a lot of it depends on what your friends do, too. So many of my friends take pictures of things that they received from their significant others, and the vast majority posted their engagement rings after being proposed to. I know that some people on PriceScope would never do that and have never even heard of such a thing, but I felt fine posting just one picture of my ring, since most of my friends do the same.
 

havernell

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 10, 2006
Messages
571
If your husband had given you, say, an espresso machine for your birthday, would you post pictures of it on Facebook and show it off to friends without them inquiring about it?

I would say you should treat a jewelry gift the same way you'd treat any other gift in this regard, however that may be based on how you and your friends generally interact with one another.
 

HollyS

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Yes, you are proud of the gift, and you would like to share. But, if you have some financial struggles, and everyone knows . . . someone will make it their business to mind your business.

It's human nature.

I keep my treasures to myself. Or if someone notices, I don't elaborate and give a lot of details. I simply prefer not to listen to 'the chatter' that details have a way of encouraging.
 

missy

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I never post anything on FB because I rarely use FB however I do "show off" IRL to good friends and family usually. Everyone who knows me well knows I love beautiful jewelry so it is no secret. I show the people who I know will appreciate it and for the ones who I know won't care I don't and if they notice it they notice it but otherwise I don't go out of my way to show them. And I of course am sensitive about it and won't show any jewelry off to anyone who is having financial difficulty etc. But for the most part my loved ones and friends while they do not share my obsession enjoy seeing my new baubles. :cheeky:
 

Cehrabehra

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You can customize your lists and photo albums on fb. You can make an album private to only you, upload your pictures and wait a week until it isn't showing on your homepage and then make it available to some or all of your friends under the radar. Or just don't post it to the feed aka publishing it. Posting what is special to you and advertising it don't have to be the same thing.

Do what is organic to you. People who dontappreciate that shouldn't hold power over your opinion of yourself. Unrealistic maybe but a good goal to aim for!
 

LGK

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I'd say it depends on how close you are to them. My sister and my best friend I would totally show a new goody off to, and they'd be thrilled for me (and I did that with my new setting recently). They're both, mmm, in lower income brackets than me and DH, but even so we are tight enough that it's not an issue. Acquaintances, or friends I haven't known for decades? No. I'd not say a word.

PS is great for showing off your loot- I mean, we are all just as crazy about jewelry and will genuinely be thrilled for you! And I know I adore looking at all the great stuff PSers show off. So, personally, if I have a new exciting shiny I would show it to my sister, my best friend and PS. And my mom. That's pretty much it. So anyway yeah, show it off to any super close friends and PS, and leave it at that is my advice. (Soooo. Spill. What is it??? :naughty: )
 

Dancing Fire

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rubybeth|1302811930|2896126 said:
I just got a jewelry birthday gift yesterday, and I keep having the urge to post on Facebook to tell my friends how happy I am with the present from my husband. However, I keep thinking this will be seen as showing off/bragging or hypocritical seeing as we've been very open about how we're working hard to pay off our student loan debt ASAP. I don't want to justify my gift, I just want to enjoy it as the special thing that it is.

What do you do when you get a new piece? Show it off to friends/family? Say nothing and let them notice for themselves? My friends know of my jewelry obsession (heck, I've now helped 5 friends buy engagement rings) but my social anxiety is off the charts when it comes to this. :sick: My birthday isn't until the end of the month, so I'm nervous for when people ask, "What did you do/get for your birthday?" I am always inserting my foot directly into my mouth and just want to have something gracious to say (for once). :???:
oh,you must :!:
 

rubybeth

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Joined
Nov 12, 2007
Messages
2,568
Thanks for all of the advice/opinions/etc. -- I really appreciate it!

havernell: I probably wouldn't post a photo of an espresso maker, but they aren't pretty! :))

HollyS: I wouldn't say we have financial struggles at all, we are just aggressively paying off our student loans vs. waiting 20 years and paying tons of interest. We've got great jobs but haven't 'upgraded' our lifestyle after graduating. We are very lucky and grateful.

Cehra: good point about making a more private photo album! I forgot about that option; then I could share with just those I'm closest to.

LGK: it's a bezel band to stack w/my e-ring: [URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/whiteflash-glamour-shots-of-my-birthday-present.159302/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/whiteflash-glamour-shots-of-my-birthday-present.159302/[/URL]
 

dragonfly411

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Jun 25, 2007
Messages
7,378
I tend to tell my family and friends about new jewelry pieces. I don't use facebook at this point in time, and only post cool memory photos on twitter, so I probably wouldn't post them on there, but I do like taking fun pictures of my jewelry.
 

Winks_Elf

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The other day I posted on FB about how excited I was to finally have gotten a matching band for my e-ring. Nothing extravagant, just a 2.5mm Roseco micropave diamond band. My mom knows what I do for a living, so she knows I didn't break the bank to get it, and she knows I'm frugal when it comes to spending money on jewelry to begin with. However, both she and my father lost their jobs within 10 days of each other, so she was very pissy about me getting a new ring (in other words why did I buy myself a ring instead of helping them out with their bills). What she DIDN'T know was that the ring was ordered and paid for MONTHS ago. She's very petty and jealous to begin with on material things, so the phone call I got from her should not have surprised me. It must have been my cousin talking to her mother, and her mother (my mom's sister) calling my mom and making mention of it.

It did hurt me though because I sold the diamond band I had found on Ebay when we remarried in order to buy presents for hubby and kids at this past Christmas, and have been wearing a simple 2mm stainless steel ring since. It sucks that people (especially in my own family) are that jealous, but it taught me a lesson. I'm currently having my very own (and my first!) Infinity diamond set at the moment. I now know there's no way in hell that I'll post anything about it on FB when I get it.
 

rubybeth

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Winks_Elf|1302894690|2897101 said:
It did hurt me though because I sold the diamond band I had found on Ebay when we remarried in order to buy presents for hubby and kids at this past Christmas, and have been wearing a simple 2mm stainless steel ring since. It sucks that people (especially in my own family) are that jealous, but it taught me a lesson. I'm currently having my very own (and my first!) Infinity diamond set at the moment. I now know there's no way in hell that I'll post anything about it on FB when I get it.

Aww, that sucks! I'm sorry she didn't handle that more gracefully. :sick: Do you have a SMTB thread on your new ring? Sounds lovely! And congrats on the Infinity diamond--can't wait to see photos! :love:
 

natascha

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Aug 10, 2010
Messages
644
I would love it if people started posting their pretties :naughty: .

I don't use facebook or the like so I can't respond to that, but I do sometimes try to show my gifts. Problem is I don't live in a culture conductive to that.

It drives me bonkers that it is perfectly normal to show of your new iphone, car, expensive purse, etc but diamonds are not really acceptable. My rings are tiny over here but in Sweden they are pretty extreme so while people will gush and talk about other expensive purchases my e-ring does not even get a comment. Funny enough I was talking to some "friends" (we are all students) and after chatting about one girls future plans to buy a horse we got talking about future engagements. The same girl that spends huge amounts on clothes and horses says that she would never spend more than 2000 dollars on an e-ring and some other lovely comments about how excessive that is. I was sitting right next to her and she had been admiring my ring just 30 min prior. I just felt all warm and fuzzy after that.

So please lets have a bling campaign on facebook, twitter and all of those, Sweden usually gets it after a couple of years / decades :wink2:
 

Winks_Elf

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rubybeth|1302898068|2897157 said:
Winks_Elf|1302894690|2897101 said:
It did hurt me though because I sold the diamond band I had found on Ebay when we remarried in order to buy presents for hubby and kids at this past Christmas, and have been wearing a simple 2mm stainless steel ring since. It sucks that people (especially in my own family) are that jealous, but it taught me a lesson. I'm currently having my very own (and my first!) Infinity diamond set at the moment. I now know there's no way in hell that I'll post anything about it on FB when I get it.

Aww, that sucks! I'm sorry she didn't handle that more gracefully. :sick: Do you have a SMTB thread on your new ring? Sounds lovely! And congrats on the Infinity diamond--can't wait to see photos! :love:

No, I was so upset after that I didn't even download the pictures I took. :(
 

Indylady

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Apr 28, 2008
Messages
5,717
MC|1302813291|2896164 said:
You say nothing and let them notice and ask about it if they decide to.

Here on PS we have fun showing off our stuff, but in real life, it's inappropriate to either post on a regular family/friends FB or show someone in person because jewelry is a luxury item and it will come across as bragging by some people.

FWIW, I've never had someone come up an announce they got a new piece. One friend recently upgraded and she didn't say ANYTHING and so I told her her ring is pretty and she thanked me and said it had been a surprise upgrade. We left it at that. Sweet and simple is best, IMO.


+1
 

risingsun

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Joined
Dec 19, 2006
Messages
5,549
I think it is normal to show others your engagement ring. It is not just a piece of jewelry, it is about a change in your life. Other pieces of jewelry, I only make a point of showing to other jewelry loving friends. If others notice and ask, that is fine. Otherwise, I keep my lip zipped :saint:
 

risingsun

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 19, 2006
Messages
5,549
Cehrabehra|1302825163|2896369 said:
You can customize your lists and photo albums on fb. You can make an album private to only you, upload your pictures and wait a week until it isn't showing on your homepage and then make it available to some or all of your friends under the radar. Or just don't post it to the feed aka publishing it. Posting what is special to you and advertising it don't have to be the same thing.

Do what is organic to you. People who dontappreciate that shouldn't hold power over your opinion of yourself. Unrealistic maybe but a good goal to aim for!

Thanks for the suggestion for FB. I've hesitiated posting jewelry there, although some friends have asked. I don't want it going out over the news feed.
 
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