Mom punishes 7 y.o. with hot sauce and cold showers

[dragonfly411]

You know I'm all about boundaries, blah blah blah, but I think it is SO important in the early year to give and SHOW your kid a lot of love.

No one can push my buttons like the people I love. Because they are the very very few who I care what they think. I was a fairly good kid, but remember on a couple of occasions my mom blowing up at me. I fully anticipate that some day, Amelia is going to make me LOSE IT.

Hopefully losing it will simply entail me just shouting or something, and not doing anything nutty. When my mom blew up at me, I knew she was mad (and that I had done something to deserve this). She even swore at me in Korean...impressive since she never swears. But I knew how much she loved me...that never changed and I could deal with it for what it was...a very big argument.

In cases of abuse, I don't think that true love is there, but I can't presume to know what goes on in the minds of these people. All I know is that discipline is only effective without long term damage if there is love.

In response to this. I think that in some instances, no, it truly is not there. I think though that there are instances where the love is there, but the person doesn't understand the proper ways to express it. The abused may end up abusive because it is all they know. The neglected might become possessive because they feel a need to grasp on to anyone that enters their life. I think so many things depend on individual case scenarios, and we can never truly know.

 

[TravelingGal]

You know I'm all about boundaries, blah blah blah, but I think it is SO important in the early year to give and SHOW your kid a lot of love.

No one can push my buttons like the people I love. Because they are the very very few who I care what they think. I was a fairly good kid, but remember on a couple of occasions my mom blowing up at me. I fully anticipate that some day, Amelia is going to make me LOSE IT.

Hopefully losing it will simply entail me just shouting or something, and not doing anything nutty. When my mom blew up at me, I knew she was mad (and that I had done something to deserve this). She even swore at me in Korean...impressive since she never swears. But I knew how much she loved me...that never changed and I could deal with it for what it was...a very big argument.

In cases of abuse, I don't think that true love is there, but I can't presume to know what goes on in the minds of these people. All I know is that discipline is only effective without long term damage if there is love.

In response to this. I think that in some instances, no, it truly is not there. I think though that there are instances where the love is there, but the person doesn't understand the proper ways to express it. The abused may end up abusive because it is all they know. The neglected might become possessive because they feel a need to grasp on to anyone that enters their life. I think so many things depend on individual case scenarios, and we can never truly know.

No, you're right. And it's heartbreaking. And God willing, I'm thankful my daughter will never have to know. She doesn't understand Korean so if I choose to swear at her in Korean, she won't have a clue.

 

[random_thought]

It is very hard being a parent and trying to figure out what's best for your child. I'm sure we all can agree. Aren't you the person who posted about the grandparent caregiver smoking around your child? Some people could say that is abuse, to subject a small, growing baby to a smoky environment day in and day out, which can potentially harm development. My point is that I've learned not to judge other parents' actions unless it involves hitting or other true physical or verbal abuse. Now that said, the hot sauce and cold showers would definitely not be anything I personally, or my wife, would do.

I really don't think this was necessary.... I fully agree with MP on the

 

[GliderPoss]

This is a really interesting thread. The video was heartbreaking and I truely believe that woman has no love for that little boy - none at all. She clearly doesn't deserve him. Hope Dr Phil ironed her out.

But on the subject of dicipline (and no I'm not a parent yet) it seems there can be a fine line or "balance" between what is right and wrong. I was spanked and promise you I am just fine. Mostly the ultimate threat was "wait till your father gets home!". Honestly I hardly remember him ever laying a finger on me - the mere threat was enough to snap me back in line. The occassionally wooden spoon was brought out but usually a quick smack on the bum was all that was needed. The embarrasment alone was horrible!

I am also not a fan of trying to reason with a baby/early toddler. Sorry don't believe they understand- hence why it seems many kids these days are so unruly! Other the other hand there is no need for excessive or cruel punishments. Guess it's a personal thing and I doubt everyone will ever agree...

 

[lilyfoot]

I've never understood the use of physical force in relation to disciplining a child. For the most part of my childhood, my mom was a single mother raising 3 children, and there was literally only one time that she struck my older sister. Besides that, there was never spanking, hitting, soap in the mouth, hot sauce in the mouth, etc., and yet we were still relatively very well-behaved children.

I just don't think it's necessary.

 

[y2kitty]

Dunno, the thing is, I wouldn't want to give my kid food issues by punishing them with hot sauce.