PS Mommy Thread-Newborn to 12 months!

[fieryred33143]

Thanks Mere. I wanted to mention that at 3 months, there is a growth spurt. What C is doing sounds a lot like what S did at that age. I wouldn't add in the rice cereal at 3 months unless directed by the pedi. There's really no evidence that solids = STTN or even that they'll be full for longer so it won't do much for him. Based on what you wrote of him feeding at 8/9/11, my guess is the growth spurt.

Have you looked into the Baby Whisperer? I believe a lot in babies needing to nap and needing to sleep early. Three months was also around the age when Sophia started going to bed earlier. At the time we would put her down to nap at 7:30pm and have her in bed for the night at 10ish. Then after reading some of the advice from here, I started making 7:30 the bed time. It took a lot of discipline and patience sine she would still wake up at least once between 7:30 and 10ish but we made it realllly boring for her (no getting out of the room, no lights, just mommy and a rocking chair) until she stopped waking between 7:30 and 10.

She didn't STTN until 6 months though. Prior to that she would go to bed at 7:30, wake between 10-11pm, wake between 2-4am, and up for the day at 6:30am. I wouldn't worry about what he *should* be doing and just go based on his cues.

I really do think it's a growth spurt though and hopefully he'll bounce back in a few days.

 

[Mara]

Mere...Ditto fiery on the BW or other type of sleep training information. It's not even about CIO just about what you need to know as a parent to help train the babe. 11pm is pretty late for a bedtime. J was going to bed at about 7:30-8pm by 3mo. He also was a crap napper, but he was a champ at night so I chose my battles and just tried to institute a nap schedule that was 'decent' per day if not totally ideal as long as he gets his night sleep.

When you say he refused to go down from 6:30pm to 11pm, did you guys try the entire 5 hours to get him to go down? And if so, what are the methods you're trying? Are you using the Happiest Baby techniques of shushing, swaying, singing, sucking etc? Because when J was about 1-2 months that is ALL we could get to work for us...and sometimes it would take up to 45 min to put him down for sleep but we just did it--it's not fun but we knew he needed to learn to sleep. The swaying and sound machine would work like magic but sometimes it would take a long time and the room had to be dark, no light, no interaction from outside etc. It was all part of the bedtime routine. Do you have one of these so that C knows what to expect...aka something like bath, massage, bottle, book, bed? If not, maybe you can start instituting one.

Also if C is rolling I wouldn't swaddle him anyway, you could sack him but it will not keep from rolling at all, J rolls all night long in his sack. Now that all J does is want to roll (and it prevents him from relaxing enough to sleep), I put his boppy in the crib with him as he is falling asleep so he physically cannot roll. And I remove it when he has fallen asleep (usu within 30 min). Once he is asleep he will STILL roll but in his sleep he does not seem to mind it like when he is awake--and he is also finally feeling better about waking up on his tummy and/or playing on it too.

As the others said, the 'guidelines' for sleep are just that. But you CAN try to help him sleep better and longer and I think you definitely should. So much happens in their first year while sleeping--all types of brain and body growth and development. Good luck!!

Ally--you poor thing on your first day back-- we deswaddled around the same time I returned and it was NOT FUN. But hang in there..you will make it!!

SS...I missed this but are you swaddling? It helped us immensely to get J to sleep longer and better without us holding him. We made it TIGHT.

Fiery, YAY for a fabulous birthday. We miss you on here.

re: sleep positioner--we had this for J until he was deswaddled almost, maybe like 3.5mo? but the kid would literally MOVE IT around his crib WITH HIM so it wasn't exactly a deterrent to anything. And then he would wiggle out of it. But when he was really little, like under 2 months it worked a lot better.

 

[meresal]

Viz- I'm sorry you were in a bit of the same boat. It's funny you say something about people telling you to keep him awake. IMO, if anything is impossible, it is trying to keep an infant awake. I can ward it off for about 15 minutes, but that is it. If C wants to sleep, he is going to sleep.

Fiery- I think you are right. This is definitely a growth spurt. The last time he did this was at about 1.5 months and he moved from 3 oz to 4oz... I think he is making his next jump. Today we had a 30 minute and a 45 minute feeding. They were also about 2 hours apart, which is much quicker than his typical 3-3.5 hour spans.

Mara- He woke up from his nap at 630, and will usually go back down at the 2 hour mark, however, at the two hour mark, he just became super super fussy, but wasn't rubbing his eyes or anything. He wasn't tired. We weren't trying to put him down the whole 4 hours, but more like the last hour and a half, then just fed him again and he passed out.
We also don't make a habit of him going down at 11. Sturday night, we were at a wedding. The other nights, it has been strictly from him taking those late naps.
You are right, we definitly need to get him on a schedule. Ideally, I would like him to sleep 8-8 or 9-9. I am not going back to work, so a little more sleep in the morning is what I need, and that also gives DH more time to hang out with him when he gets home from work.
When he wakes up at night, I never leave his room and I never talk to him. It is strictly food and sleep. I did have to hide the Groegg though, because he would sometimes catch sight of the glow and it would wake him right up.

C took a 3 hour nap from 430 to 730 tonight (the first substantial sleep of the day, other than his 45 minute nap about an hour after waking up this morning), woke up to eat at 730pm, was fussy for a bit so we gave him a bath, and then he ate at 9 and went down for the night at 930. I was definitely happy with this... except the fussiness, but that will pass after the growth spurt.

We are having his Christening this weekend, so he and I are headed back to my home town tomorrow! I made our flight so that he wouldn't have to miss his Gymboree class. He loves it so! I finished packing everything this evening so that I don't have to worry about it tomorrow, heaven for bid, he decides to have another anti-nap day.

I'm getting the hang of this whole planning ahead thing.

Re: Rolling at night... He has always hated being on his back, so I think that is the problem. Once he learns to roll back to his stomach, or gets used to being on his back, it will be ok. Luckily he doesn't roll in his sleep, but currently only rolls after already waking up... so it isn't causing any unnecessary wakes

 

[Mara]

mere for the schedule, you can try just starting to put him down at the time that you want him to. it might take a week or so for him to pick up on it. i tried to do the whole 'lets move bedtime 30 min' and it wasn't as successful as just saying ok you are going down at X time and that's it. his range is 7-8pm depending on our day and his naps--if he had crappy naps then 7pm is his max or else he will be overtired and if he had a really long nap or 2 then we'll do 8. and even if he didn't want to go down at X time during when we were training, i would just keep at it and soothe him til he fell asleep. usually after a few nights he started picking up on it.

the nap thing for us is still what is kind of hit or miss. but i figure if he gets 2 45min-1 hour naps per day i am happy since he sleeps 12+ hours at night overall. you mentioned not going back to work--did you decide to stay home? good for you!! i LOVE when J sleeps late on the wkds or on my work from home day--it's like a little surprise haha. also funnily enough though he sleeps pretty consistently, his wakes are still kind of all over, anywhere from 7am to 9am. oh one more thing about a schedule...if J misses his 4-5pm nap that is kind of the cutoff time. if he won't sleep by 5pm then i don't let him sleep because i'll just put him down for bed at 7pm or even 6:30pm if he is crabby. it works really well that way. we try to get a nap in around 11 or 12, and then again at like 3 or 4pm. but we don't have a prob keeping him awake, the days of him just passing out are LONG gone.

the last thing i want to say is that even though i am a schedule nazi... i think a lot of parents and kids get along just fine without anything rigid. so just do what feels right for you guys.

AFM--someone is being really inconsistent about eating. we are trying to add that 2nd solid in so it goes like 7-8am bottle; 11am solid, 12am bottle, 4pm bottle, 6pm solid, 7-7:30pm bottle. but the last few days he has woken up after 12+ hours and not guzzled his bottle, in fact we were having a hard time getting him to eat 1/2 of it. then he wouldn't be THAT interested in his solid either, rinse and repeat all day for the last 3 days. today he drank more and ate a fair amt, but i feel like we're trying to feed him all this stuff and he just is like 'peeps i am not that hungry'. the pedi said he should be eating 2-3 4oz solids per day but we are barely managing like a 2oz solid in the morning and 3-4oz in the evenings and maybe 23-25oz of liquids. it might be that he just finished a spurt (he seemed like he wanted to eat more last week) but it's hard to tell. anyway i am figuring don't worry--he'll eat what he needs. i just hate those stupid growth charts and knowing he's 30% makes me want to feed him more. should i decrease his liquids or just not expect him to drink as much anymore? not quite sure. anyhoo.

oh and viz i wanted to say...girl feed the jar and feel good about it. we are doing jar meats because i don't feel like pureeing chicken and freezing it and it's organic and blah blah so i feel fine about that, i am mixing fresh veggies into his jars but i kind of like the combo method for now anyway.

talk about crazy schedule. tonite after work i walked 3m with a friend and J, came home and made him blueberries and pears to freeze, fed him (meat and veggies) and got him to bed by myself. greg had a work event. i was like damn this single parent stuff is hard!! thankfully G brought me dinner because at that point i was like COUCH PLEASE.

i'm talking to my boss tomorrow about wfh 2x a week as part of this slightly more flexible schedule so hope it works out. and trying to narrow down my child care too to finalize things this month!!

oh and i stopped pumping just about a week ago i think..i did some hand express for a few days but since then have stopped and it's been about 4 days with nothing and i feel ok. don't know how long it will take for the last of the milk to totally dry up but so far so good. fingers crossed.

 

[MonkeyPie]

I tried to give Micah peas again yesterday. He hadn't had anything to eat in almost 5 hours and had just woken up from a nap so I knew he had to be starving. I poked in the first mouthful and he gave me this disgusted look like, "What the hell, mama, I hate this crap!" It was kinda funny, but I want him to at least try this stuff while he's still pliable enough to change his mind. So I kept poking it in, and he kept swallowing, but he was decidedly underwhelmed compared to when he got carrots or sweet potatoes. I finally quit when he started pursing his lips to keep the spoon out. Ah, stubborn baby!

He seems to have finally passed the 4-month wakeful...knock on wood. He's been back to his 5-7 hour stretch at the beginning of the night, which I lovelovelove.

I also finally found a cotton sleep sack, halo. I wanted one for ages but all I could find was flannel - who puts their super hot baby in flannel in the summer??? But zulily had a super cute zoo one for sale and so I snagged it. Yay for breathable cotton so he won't roast, but will stay comfortably warm. His chunky little thighs kept getting chilly at night but I didn't want to bundle him since he has a tendency to overheat and sweat, so hopefully this will help.

 

[steph72276]

Mere, ditto Mara on getting on a schedule. E is such a creature of habit that every night at exactly 7:30 he starts rubbing his eyes and knows it's time to get ready for bed. Our routine is bath, massage with lotion with low lights and soft music, and bottle while rocking. It now only takes him 30 minutes or so from start to finish most nights to get him down. I really believe in routine and it worked well with both my boys. Good luck!

Mara, I think you are doing great with J's feedings and I would just follow his hunger cues. That's the great thing about babies, they regulate their appetites so well and he would be screaming if he was starving. E doesn't eat all that much baby food either, so I don't force it if he doesn't want more than a few bites. And I also don't take much stock in the weight percentages. E is in the 25th percentile, but he looks plenty healthy, so I'm not worried in the least. J would be giving you hunger signals if he were really not getting enough food.

We're heading to the pool, trying to enjoy my last few days with A before he starts school. Everyone have a great day!

 

[steph72276]

MP, you probably saw the pics of E after I gave him peas for the first time...he hated them so much. The second time, he still made faces like "this is so gross mom, you are so mean to give this to me". He's loved everything else we've given him, but peas are a no go!

 

[phoenixgirl]

Good morning, all.

My visit to the pedi made me realize we've been creating some bad habits. We've been BFing around the clock and to soothe Claire when she's woken up by teething pain. When I was working, I was so freaked out by the thought of losing my milk supply that I didn't mind feeding over night. And our house is so small that even with our bedroom doors closed and the white noise machine on, I am awake if Claire is making noise. No need for a monitor here!

So anyway, last night I decided to wait and see what kind of crying she was doing, especially because DH was out of town and if she sees me, she usually wants to nurse even if she's not hungry. At 4 she woke up chattering to herself. Then she started fussing mildly, but it never sounded like, "Help! I need help!" crying, more like, "I'm a little grumpy but I'm soooo tired!" So I let her fuss until 5, at which point I went in and discovered her chubby leg stuck through the slats. Poor baby! She seemed calmed just by my presence, but I also thought I was getting the nursing vibe (she kept looking at the chair we usually nurse in and diving for it). But then she fell asleep after the first side, and I was like, oh no Baby, you can't relieve just one side! Wake up and take care of the other one!

I want to get to a schedule where we're BFing more like 4x a day instead of 6 (or more if the night is bad). She knows how to drink from a sippy cup but doesn't seem to love either water or juice. The pedi said I could try whole milk (1x a day like juice, not instead of BM), so I'll see if she finds that any more interesting.

 

[MonkeyPie]

MP, you probably saw the pics of E after I gave him peas for the first time...he hated them so much. The second time, he still made faces like "this is so gross mom, you are so mean to give this to me". He's loved everything else we've given him, but peas are a no go!

That's how Micah does, haha! He wrinkles up his nose and scrunches his mouth, even though he swallows it. Next time I am going to take Mara's advice and mix them with carrots or something that he likes. Poor babies, us mean mama's giving them yucky peas!

 

[steph72276]

PG, I'm sure you've said this before, but does she take a paci? E has been semi waking up the past few weeks in the middle of the night, but I put the paci in and pat his leg or bottom and he goes right back out. Do you think she's just nursing for comfort or is she really hungry?

 

[meresal]

Thanks for all of the feedback Mara. I have decided not to return to work. I just enjoy this little guy way to much, to go back to a job I hate.
Now lies the problem of meeting with the manager. I hate being "that girl" that doesn't come back, but when I left, I was 110% sure I would return. Luckily he has 3 kids and is a big family guy, so I think he will understand. We just have to work something out. I would offer to stay until they find a replacement, but it took 4 months for our managers to get our last new hire into the office, from interviews to offer. I am thinking more like a week or two, at the most. We will see.

As for last night, C woke to eat at 2 and went back down, then at 5 to eat and went back down. He started making some noise about 15 minutes after putting him down, but he put himself back to sleep (Yaaay!), and then woke up for the day at 7. He might have slept a bit more... I forgot to shut his drapes, so his room was lit up like a christmas tree this morning. Mommy fail. Ohh well, he is all smiles this morning! Hopefully we can keep this up!

 

[PrettyBlues]

So, as I said, Miles had his four month appointment yesterday. He is 13.5 pounds and 24 inches, so 15% percentile for both. My little peanut! But if you use his adjusted age he would be around 50% for both, so really either way he is doing great. He is growing and healthy so that is all that really matters. And doctor said that now with me using the carrier and trying to keep him off his head as much as possible, his head seems to be rounding out and it shouldn't be a problem. Especially now as he will spend more and more time sitting up, on his tummy, in his exersaucer, etc. as he gets older. Sooo glad it won't be an issue.

However, poor little guy was not happy about his shots this time. At two months, he cried when he got them but then hardly seemed bothered once we got home, he just slept a ton. This time, he was napping and then woke up quite upset. D went to get him, and accidentally grabbed him on his leg when holding him and he let out such a sad cry. We had a look and his one leg was all puffy and red (not from D, just from the shot). I changed his diaper and then wanted to give him some infant tylenol (in Canada the batches were not recalled) but at first he would not settle enough to even give it to him. He was crying so hard his face was completely red and tears were streaming down his face And this was not a usual fussy or hungry cry. We finally got him to calm down enough to take it and then I fed him to see if it would help. He reluctantly ate, and with some rocking, fell asleep. Woke up again at his usual time, 4, and was ok in his pnp, but then when I picked him up started crying again. Gave him some more tylenol and fed him, and rocked him until I knew he was in a deep sleep before putting him back down.

The good news is he seems much more himself this morning. I just hated to see him so sad and hurting.

Mere, growth spurts are fun aren't they? Hopefully it is passing now for you. As far as sleep normally, Miles also seems to do well on a night schedule. We sort of followed his lead as far as when to put him to bed. He originally was going to bed between 9 and 10, and then we noticed that he would spend the last hour to hour and half really fussy and just thought well maybe he needs to go to bed earlier. So then we put him down at 8 and it was much better for him and us. So we do his night routine with bath (not always), pjs, book, feed, sleep. And he seems to sleep much better going down the same time every night. I've noticed when someone else is watching him and they tell us "he wasn't tired" and goes to bed later, it messes him up the entire next day.

But as Mara said, this is what works for us and things may be different for you.

 

[steph72276]

Pretty Blues, from what I have read the 4 months shots are often the worst. E did not have a bad reaction to the first shots or to his last ones at 6 months, but he did run a slight fever and was fussy for a day or 2 with the 4 months shots. Hope he's feeling better today.

 

[vizsla]

mere - for what it's worth (and take into account i have nil advice on true sleeping) buuuttt i did discover in the early days (before c was sick) that sleep would go great for one night, then hooey for another week - and then it would go great for 2 nights and gradually get better and better.
aaaaaaand as soon as it gets great, he will get a cold or ear infection and throw everything off - hehe we started a nighttime routine around 4 months. how successful it was depended on how my little guy was feeling, but without fail at 7:30p he knows it's time for bed. i also realized that i set myself up for failure in the early days by having c do an 'after daycare' nap. he simply wasn't tired enough at 7:30p, even if his body said 'it's time for bed'. but, like i mentioned before, i drove myself crazy trying to get the 'recommended' hours. eventually, by not letting him to sleep past 5:00p (at the VERY latest) he was tired at 7:30p and would sleep better at night. now, depending on when he wakes up for the day (anywhere between 5:30-7:00a) he still takes 2-3 naps/day that range from 45mins to 1.5 hours - for example, if he wakes up early he will want to nap at 8a, 12p, and 3:30-4ish - on these days i wake him up (gasp) at 5:00p, so he will be tired at 7:30 (but it's more like 8:00p when he has a late nap) - and on days when he wakes up late he will nap around 10a and 3p (but when he was around 4 months i think he was still taking 3-4 naps a day)- anyhoo, our routine was always the same before bed and even tho the sleeping part was hit or miss, i can see the benefit of sticking with the routine even if i didn't think it was working for MONTHS!

PG - i don't think what you were doing was a mommy fail in the least bit! nursing mothers typically nurse at night for the first year. i would be right there with you if i was still nursing. if it isn't an inconvenience to you, i wouldn't eliminate that feeding just b/c the pedi said so. don't most kids drop this feeding on their own around a year anyway?? if you are concerned with the slat situation - do you use a sleep sack? i know you are not a bumper girl, but i love having ours in the crib. c curls up to it (mara, do you have a bumper for j to snuggle in?) i am a smidgen surprised that the pedi recommended milk already?? i always thought it was 1+ years?? or am i wacky?

mara - c is all over the place with eating too. one day he will want to eat a lot of solids, then the next he's tight lipped. and he still prefers his bottle over food in general. i try not to stress too much about it because i figure, like everything, there will be kids who eat anything put in front of them and others who won't touch foods. i always offer breakfast and dinner - and i know he get's a meal at school - so if he eats breakfast or dinner GREAT, if not.. no biggie. i know eventually he will. i think just making the routine of offering food is the hardest part about feeding. adding in those extra feeding times cuts into my already short time with him each night. i realized with c that in the same way that i can't force him to sleep, i also can't force him to eat. i take it as a sign that he's going on instinct rather than learned behavior and i'll keep providing the right environment, but instinct may be telling him 'not right now.' his eating has, however, been an indicator of something amiss with his health - whether it be an ear infection or the tummy issue..

afm - overnight.. literally.... overnight c learned how to crawl. sunday he was army scooting and last night he crawled to get a toy. DH and i both looked at each other with our mouths open like 'holy crap, we are in trouble!' we are going to have to do some major baby proofing this weekend. c is such a wiggle worm anyway - i fear for my sanity. take last night for example, he was going for some plugs in his room and i said 'no charlie, not for you' - he would turn and look at me and smile, then slowly start to reach for them again (rinse repeat) i tried so hard not to laugh b/c it was flipping cute...

 

[anchor31]

Mara - Like you said, I don't think you should worry too much about how much he's eating, if he's hungry he'll eat. As far as cutting back on milk to give more solid goes, everything I've read recommends that at this age they should still have as much milk as they want. Your pedi wants him to eat 8-12oz a day at 6 months? That seems like a lot. Your schedule sounds like a good plan. Do you know if J has times in the day where he's more hungry? I know my J has always been ravenous in the evening, so I give him more food then. My schedule looks more or less like this: 7AM bottle, 8:30AM breakfast (cereal and fruit), 9AM nap, 11AM bottle and lunch (meat, veggies and fruit), 1PM nap, 3PM bottle, 5PM dinner (cereal, veggies and fruit), 7PM bottle and bed.

PB - Yay for a good appointment! Go Miles (love that name, btw)! Yuck for shots though. Thankfully, they space out after 6 months.

AFM - Maybe someone could have an idea as to why that it, but I have no problem whatsoever putting J down for naps even when he's wide awake, I just put his in his crib, give him his paci and blanky and turn on his musical thingy and walk out... Not a sound from him for the next 2 hours. And then at night he fusses and fights bedtime. I do the same thing, crib, paci, blanky and I put on his lullaby CD he loves so much... but he can fight sleep for an hour, even when he was very obviously tired when I gave him his bottle.

ETA - Viz, yay for C crawling! Go Charlie!

 

[Mara]

re bumper-we just have a breathable bumper in there now. J tries to grab it and pull it down to snuggle with--but it obviously does not work that way. since he likes to have his face near stuff i just am not super comfortable with the PBK bumper in the crib yet, on the flip side i give him a blanket when he fusses...but at least it's got lots of holes in it so i feel ok with it. one of my friends told me she is putting the dream blanket in with her babe and he loves snuggling with it plus it's muslin. J's loveys from A&A are kind of the same idea but he tends to grab the lovey and 'fling' his arm and then oops lets go and there it goes to the end of the crib. and he doesn't know enough to go retrieve it yet (or else he'd be finding his own paci!)--but a blanket seems to be more 'on him' so he seems to always know where it is to snuggle.

anchor, i have no idea why your J is doing that! hehee. sometimes J will be passing out when i am feeding him his bed bottle and then he'll be thrashing around and burbling to himself for like 20 min. wtf kid you were tired? i swear sometimes these kids throw us for a loop. rational does not seem to APPLY here. your feeding schedule sounds great--we can't manage more than 2 right now but again even getting him to accept the 2 plus the liquids is kind of a struggle. but i agree i'll just keep taking the cues from him. btw hope J is feeling better from his recent uti.

mp, i totally mix in peas now. i tried them with him a few times and he did eat them but nope didn't love them so i started mixing them into things and he couldn't get enough. i think his fave so far was cauliflower, peas, avocado and a little oatmeal. he mowed on that combo!

steph, girl i can't believe little bellylicious E is only 25% for weight!!! there must be some CHUNKO babies out there.

speaking of belly i was looking at a pic i have in my cube yest and it's J at like 6 weeks when his belly was still ginormous and kind of wide and he has the same smirky little smile he still gives me sometimes. i love it. and i miss his big belly. he's so long and lean now, this kid is like concave unless he just ate 9oz!

viz...yay for C crawling!! gooo C. how have his ears been lately?? and girl i hear ya re the feeding times just taking more time away from hanging with the babe. adding in even the dinner took us like 3 weeks of trying to be consistent and find the right time and thankfully my mom is doing the 'lunch' at 11--i can't even comprehend adding in a 'breakfast' right now so i figure we'll deal with that later.

PB...aww the shots are so sad. the nurses tell us to massage the entry points for the shot as it will help disperse the medicine better and more quickly and also take some of the pain away. it is really hard to massage an area you know is sore but after a few minutes J seemed to like it. we do it a bit the next day too.

mere..don't worry about being that girl-- your mgr prob has some sort of feeling--i think every woman that goes on out mat leave their bosses know it's a 50/50 shot. actually now that i have been back at work for 2+ months now, i really like it... there are some negatives of course but if i can work on a bit of a flex sched from home i think i will be happier longer. i don't know that i'll stay permanently or not still want to go PT in the future but if we can do something for a few months i think it'll help. i love using my work brain and i know my programs and feeling like i am contributing and i admit i like getting away and having ME time (going to get a pedi at lunch or running errands so i dont have to do them when i am home with J) but i do wish i had a bit more time with the babe.

AFM...we just had one wake again last nite at 5:45am. keeping fingers crossed it continues this way.

 

[split_shank]

Hi ladies, while I am a newbie to this thread (actually I am still part of the Preggo's thread), I have been following from time to time on your great thread trying to get an idea of what to expect come November! I just had a question re: sleep training/CIO/whatever works for you. A home daycare that I am looking at has written in its 'handbook' that all infants should be able to fall asleep on their own, in a crib, and that this should be worked on before they come to the center. Some of you had mentioned that sleep training/CIO shouldn't be tried before 4 months or so (which I totally don't disagree with) , but if I'm going to be sending my 3 month old off to daycare, is this going to be possible?? I'm all for getting a routine down and self soothing, but I can't imagine that a 3 mo. old is going to be able to go to sleep on their own without CIO from time to time... don't mean to open another can a worms or beat a dead horse, but do you guys think this is unreasonable for them to expect from an infant?

 

[drk]

More sometime soon. Just wanted to quickly post for any new moms wanting a nursing cover the email I got from uddercovers (which I use as a pumping coverup):

"This week (August 1st - 7th) is World Breastfeeding Week and we wanted to show our support for breastfeeding so we are running a promotion where you can get any of our nursing covers (regular price $32) free! The code is "Breastfeeding". If you're not currently nursing, this is your chance to stock up on great baby shower and Holiday gifts and a great promo code to pass along to your expecting friends - (they will thank you)!
Once you get to www.uddercovers.com, click on "Shop Now" and select the cover you would like. Type Breastfeeding into the promo code box and it will bring your product total to $0. All you pay is the shipping fees. You can use the code more than once - you just have to open a new browser window to do so.
You can also use this promo code to get a 3 piece gift set for only $5!"

 

[ChinaCat]

Feel like I keep trying to jump in here but keep getting interrupted and after I save my replies, the thread has moved too fast and most of you have gotten pretty good replies already. So!

Mara- I'm going to tell you to step away from the growth charts! I know it's hard, but it's just a number and it's just an average. It doesn't mean ANYTHING really. If J is growing and thriving, then he's just the right weight for him. You can't force him to eat. Remember, your ped has guidelines, but not every baby is the same. And a lot of peds don't recommend that much food for kids at or under 6 months. AND in theory, a baby can subsist healthily on either BM or formula ONLY for up to 1 year. So think of the food as fun and an added bonus for J. I promise, he will start eating more and soon. Remember, O is only like 5th percentile and he's doing great. He eats a ton and is totally healthy, he just has a fast metabolism.

MP- O still sleeps in the cotton sleep sacks. They are great for a "blanket" and also helps keep him from getting his legs stuck in the slats. They aren't a swaddle thing at all for him, just his little blanket.

VIZ- Yay for crawling!!!!!!!!!!!!!! O totally does that when I say "not for Oliver!" He thinks it's funny and does it again, but turns to look at me and wait for me to say "Not for Oliver!" Then he throws his head on his hands and starts laughing hysterically. Rinse repeat. I have learned to re-direct him BEFORE he gets there now. Handfuls, these boys.

Mer- You've gotten some good advice. I will say try not to let what they "should" be doing drive you too much. I don't think O slept that much at his age. He slept great at night, but not long naps till he was much older. And I know you would "like" him to do that schedule, but be forewarned that you can't really make your kiddo have a different bedtime/wake up than he naturally will do. I know Dreamer and others tried that back in the day, as they were not early risers and wanted more sleep time in the morning and no go. You can try to keep him up, but he probably will wake up at "his" wake up time no matter what. If I keep O up, he still wakes up at 6:30-7 am. Also, not all babies are STTN at his age, so hopefully he'll do it, but he may not be ready. Glad you made a decision about work! Your employer will be fine, you'd be surprised at how supportive most people are when you tell them you want to spend more time with your family. And yes, they do "expect" it to some degree. People are still shocked at my firm that I"m still here.

Speaking of- I have officially gone to a flex time schedule. 3 days in the office, reduced hours target. I will most likely still have to do work outside of those 3 days, but hopefully can do it from home. We'll see.

 

[ChinaCat]

SplitShank- Good question. My first reaction is the same as yours- seems a bit young and you can't really "make" a baby do it at that age. Let me think on that.

Which reminds me of something I wanted to say. I had typed out a whole response to MrsAT, but most of you said what was needed to be said before I could post it. A quick summary-

MrsAT- If you're still lurking- First, any mom is welcome here. Hope you stick around. I am going to assume that your post was meant in the best possible way and you didn't mean to offend and were truly just trying to offer another opinion. Second, as it's been pointed out, it's not so much what you said as how you said it. There are many moms on here who do not believe in CIO, who co-sleep, who follow "attachment" parenting. But we don't "know" you and when you come on to a forum comprised of a group of ladies who have been in the trenches together for a year or more (including pregnancy) and seemingly attack or pass judgment on one of them, well, of course we are going to circle the wagons. We support each other through the good times and bad, and that tends to form some pretty strong bonds. Also, saying things like we put our babies in a jail(?) and act selfishly is pretty judgmental and those words are what we hear, not your possibly valid POV.

Ok, that being said, I think we need to clarify what we mean when we say "CIO". For me, officially, CIO is a sleep training method that consists of no-holds barred letting your child cry for however long it takes, for a few nights, in order to break any bad habits and get them to self-soothe and sleep on their own. That is a simplistic explanation, but there you go.

To me, letting your child fuss for a few minutes during naps or at night, or giving them 10 minutes before you go in is not necessarily "CIO". It IS letting them cry, but it's not the serious sleep training method that is so hard to actually do.

So for me, Mara is letting her child cry to see if he will self-soothe, but she has not yet done full-blown CIO. And not that she needs to.

I just think some people see "CIO" and immediately assume a baby is in there crying for hours. And sometimes that is what we mean, but not always.

So maybe we should clarify or come to a consensus on what CIO means for us here on this thread.

 

[fieryred33143]

Mere-That's wonderful news that you'll be staying home I know you were on the fence about it so it's great you came to a decision.

Hi ladies, while I am a newbie to this thread (actually I am still part of the Preggo's thread), I have been following from time to time on your great thread trying to get an idea of what to expect come November! I just had a question re: sleep training/CIO/whatever works for you. A home daycare that I am looking at has written in its 'handbook' that all infants should be able to fall asleep on their own, in a crib, and that this should be worked on before they come to the center. Some of you had mentioned that sleep training/CIO shouldn't be tried before 4 months or so (which I totally don't disagree with) , but if I'm going to be sending my 3 month old off to daycare, is this going to be possible?? I'm all for getting a routine down and self soothing, but I can't imagine that a 3 mo. old is going to be able to go to sleep on their own without CIO from time to time... don't mean to open another can a worms or beat a dead horse, but do you guys think this is unreasonable for them to expect from an infant?

In my honest opinion, yes it is unreasonable. Not only because CIO really isn't 'fit' for all 3 months old (I'm sure some can handle it) but because they also go through so many changes that being able to say your LO sleeps in a consistent manner at that age is a stretch. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but generally speaking at that age they aren't. Now, you CAN work on getting them used to a crib and not napping/sleeping on top of someone at that age but it is really hard to predict whether your baby will be a young self soother.

 

[Mara]

thanks ladies, yeah I know mentally that the growth charts are just an estimate. but it can be confusing sometimes. here i thought we were like ahead of the game with our 1x dinner at 6mo and he's been eating solids since 4.5mo and she is like no, do 2-3meals, he's prob STARVING. our pedi is kind of old school which is funny but she also says that we shouldn't put ANYTHING, even a breathable bumper in the crib, go figure. and i don't want meals to be a negative thing at all and J seems to enjoy eating but not be SOO into it. i just feel like he's not that hungry so he's like WHY am i eating again?

my Mom's take on it (she's the baby whisperer after all, her self-moniker!) is that i should give him more plain food vs mixing, aka maybe he doesn't want to be eating apple blueberries but just apple. i was like that is an interesting perspective but no i don't think mixing foods has anything to do with whether or not he eats 2oz or 3oz. he 'accepts' the food regardless of what it is...even eats peas when he doesn't love them. but he's just kind of like 'whatever sure' lately as opposed to being excited the way he was a few weeks ago. then again it could just be a phase.

re: a 3month old soothing themselves, it COULD happen but it's a long-shot. J self soothes from time to time and even did it when he was younger but to CONSISTENTLY ask that of them for every nap is not realistic IMO. i mean even today when we put J down for a nap sometimes it takes one or two entries to his room and paci put back in and rolling him back over for him to 'relax' enough to sleep. and he's 6mo old and a great sleeper overall. honestly if the daycare 'requires' that, i wouldn't send my kid there i'd be too stressed about it.

CC...yay for a flex sched! i know you mentioned you'd prob still be doing work but it is wonderful to at least feel some of that pressure taken off yanno. while i prob will be able to wfh a bit more, on the flip side i end up feeling a little more stressed at home than i am at work because i feel like i have to PROVE more that i am working if that makes sense? i'll have care for J while i am at home with him so i can actually work but it's still kind of a diff situ and i def would be happier not working 2 days a week than working 2 days from home a week but i'll take whatever i can get at this point and still have a job.

 

[anchor31]

split shank - If they require that, they probably care for babies older than 3 months. J has always been a a great napper, but until 5 months I was not able to have him nap in his crib, only his swing. I've been able to just put him in his crib and walk away for naps since he was about 6 months. The daycare may not be right for you and your little one...

 

[split_shank]

Thanks ladies, I was thinking the same thing, just wanted to see if this was unusual to some degree. This definitely isn't my first choice, but hoping that this isn't what I'm going to find at other places as well. I will continue to be the 'crazy' mommy that would like my baby rocked every once in awhile if need be.

 

[phoenixgirl]

SS, we put Claire in daycare at 3 months, and she was able to put herself to sleep in the crib at that time if I picked up on her tired cues and got her down at the right moment. She rarely cried in the process. Later became a different story! So it's doable, but it's definitely the kind of thing that you can't force. Some babies aren't napping in their cribs or on their own at all, let alone able to fall asleep without help. I guess the question is what, if anything, your daycare would actually do if you showed up and said, "Oh, yup, sure, falling asleep without help, uh huh," but really that meant it had happened only once or twice (ya know, the time you HAD TO take a shower or else you would solidify into a pillar of crud, so you put a crying baby down just for ten minutes and were totally surprised when s/he went to sleep . . .)??? Our daycare was kind of bossy and finicky, but it turned out to be all talk.

But my memory is that when Claire was younger, she was less mobile and less aware of the world around her, so she was able to fall asleep when swaddled in the crib. We even broke her of the swaddle before we put her in daycare so that there wouldn't be an extra step for them to do, and she was still OK.

Mere, congrats on staying home! I think employers always know it's a possibility, but I also know you'll feel better once you talk to them. Keep us updated!

Steph, I believe Claire is comfort-nursing because she wakes up with teething pain. We give her tylenol and/or teething tablets, but while the pain is still fresh she gets herself worked up, and the easiest way to calm her down is with the boob. She stopped taking a paci about a month ago when the teething pain started up, so I think maybe she doesn't like the way it feels in her mouth at the moment?

Viz, yeah, I just looked back in my AAP book, and it says babies have a hard time breaking down the protein in cow's milk, but I suppose that a 9 month old could (probably) handle a little bit? Surely you don't go from being completely unable to totally able at 1 year? My pedi pointed out that we give the babies yoghurt and cheese. I'm mostly curious to see if she doesn't take the sippy cup (which she has figured out how to suck on, she just doesn't keep going after a couple of swallows) because it's the water/juice she doesn't like, or the cup itself (and I've tried four different kinds). But I'll probably just stick with the juice for another month or so.

I guess I'm getting nervous about the prospect of weaning because DH and I have been trying to figure out when to plan our trip to France, and I'm afraid that I'm going to schedule it for when she's 13 months only to find that I'm still BFing 6x a day! That is NOT how I want to wean my baby! So I am trying to think of ways to at least get to breakfast, lunch, dinner, and bedtime nursing. But on the other hand, it's been over 100 degrees here too many days to count this summer, and since we're not really taking the sippy cup, I worry about Claire's hydration. Why can't somebody just tell us what to do???

Our best friends had their baby Saturday, and he took to BFing like a champ in the hospital, but now he is getting frustrated at the boob and refusing it sometimes. We all know how frustrating that can be! You just want an instruction manual!

 

[Mara]

lol I had to post this...Giselle Bundchen's thoughts on how breastfeeding should be MANDATORY law:
http://omg.yahoo.com/news/gisele-bundch ... -law/44949

Umm FYI girlfriend, not all women ARE ABLE TO bf but great job on making them feel SUCKY.

 

[MonkeyPie]

lol I had to post this...Giselle Bundchen's thoughts on how breastfeeding should be MANDATORY law:
http://omg.yahoo.com/news/gisele-bundch ... -law/44949

Umm FYI girlfriend, not all women ARE ABLE TO bf but great job on making them feel SUCKY.

This woman is kind of stupid. Ever since she pushed a human being from her loins, she WILL NOT stop talking about it! She brags all over herself about how she did it without drugs and claims it didn't hurt one bit because she "meditated." She can kiss my drug-loving butt

 

[vizsla]

Hi ladies, while I am a newbie to this thread (actually I am still part of the Preggo's thread), I have been following from time to time on your great thread trying to get an idea of what to expect come November! I just had a question re: sleep training/CIO/whatever works for you. A home daycare that I am looking at has written in its 'handbook' that all infants should be able to fall asleep on their own, in a crib, and that this should be worked on before they come to the center. Some of you had mentioned that sleep training/CIO shouldn't be tried before 4 months or so (which I totally don't disagree with) , but if I'm going to be sending my 3 month old off to daycare, is this going to be possible?? I'm all for getting a routine down and self soothing, but I can't imagine that a 3 mo. old is going to be able to go to sleep on their own without CIO from time to time... don't mean to open another can a worms or beat a dead horse, but do you guys think this is unreasonable for them to expect from an infant?

really ?!?!?!?!?!?
(take this from the point of view of someone who was completely blindsided by sleep issues) but there is NO WAY to tell if your little one (congrats by the way will be a 'good' sleeper or not. sure, we all hope and pray for an angel baby - but, as i found out - not always the case i'm not here to tell you what to do, but i would highly consider looking for another option - one where they are either able to accept babies of all sleeping abilities, or one that will work with you and YOUR baby's schedule. i've honestly never heard of a place that makes this their rule. we were so fortunate to find a place that totally worked around charlie's wonky day to day schedule.

 

[vizsla]

CC - YIPPEE on the new schedule!!!!!

PG - this may sound completely WT but for awhile i was getting charlie to take water by filling up a straw and putting it in his mouth and then releasing my finger. he thought it was great fun i then transferred him to the sippy by pouring my water into his cup. he would reach for it every time i would take a sip so i thought i would try giving him 'mommy's water'. he also thinks ice is hilarious and loves to have his special 'dessert' water (water, ice and a splash of prune juice - old man) after dinner. anyhoo, does claire like to drink from your cup?? could be a way to transition her?? i worry about hydration a lot too.
as far as weaning goes.. are you planning on weaning and supplementing with formula? if you are then the process shouldn't be that long... if not, you will probably be in for a longer stretch of BF. i fully planned on continuing bottles even after his first birthday.. 18months maybe??

 

[PrettyBlues]

Viz, yay for crawling

CC, congrats on the flex schedule. That's great news.

SS, like the others have said you never know what kind of sleeper you will have. Not to mention that 3 months *is* to young for most babies to self soothe. And on top of that, the baby could be a great sleeper, go down on their own in the crib, and then a few weeks later completely change course. Babies have been known to rewrite the rules as soon as you think you have them figured out So what does the daycare do in that case? Kick you out? It all seems a bit strange to me personally. Then again, I'm not looking for daycare, so maybe that is standard...although that doesn't appear to be the case. So I would also look for somewhere else to send your little one.

Mara, I saw that article just today. As someone who wanted to, and is, exclusively breastfeeding I still give it the big ole Formula is NOT poison, and as long as a baby is being fed I don't think it is anyone's business what they are eating. I'm glad it worked out for her, but as we all know from being on here, it is not always easy (more often than not it is HARD), and you are right it doesn't always work despite a lot of effort and tears. I can't believe what a stupid idea that is!

PG, I just had a look at the book we are given by the government here for babies, because I knew they spoke about milk before 12 months. It says they can start to have milk from 9 months, but they need to be eating a varied diet, including vegetables, fruits and meats every day, 1/2 cup iron enriched cereal and foods with a bit of oil for essential fatty acids. It says if they are not eating all of these foods, then you should wait to introduce. I don't know about any of this as I'm not there yet nor have I asked my pedi, but wanted to let you know what it said.

M is still not having a great day. I did get some smiles, but still lots of tears and a low grade fever. It is gone now, hopefully tomorrow he will feel better. Steph, I hope the 4 month shots are the worst. Mara, I feel like it's too late to try the massage, as wouldn't already be dispersed at this point? But I will try and remember that for next time, maybe it will help.