Successful Relationships/Marriages

[LadyJane83]

Bored... so thought I''d open up a dialogue.

In your opinion, what are the "ingredients" for establishing/maintaining a healthy and happy marriage or relationship? What is most important?

Is it better to have more of a "romance" (in the traditional sense- like Nora Roberts novels lol) or more of a "friendship"?

What have you learned from past relationships or relationships of your family and friends?

 

[FrekeChild]

In your opinion, what are the ''ingredients'' for establishing/maintaining a healthy and happy marriage or relationship? What is most important?
Communication. Communication. Communication. And compatible life goals.

Is it better to have more of a ''romance'' (in the traditional sense- like Nora Roberts novels lol) or more of a ''friendship''?
Friendship.

What have you learned from past relationships or relationships of your family and friends?
Learn to pump your own gas. Being dependent on your husband for gas pumping does now show people how much he loves you, it shows people how you''re incapable of doing anything yourself.

 

[princesss]

Okay, I''m just thinking out loud, so don''t mind me if this isn''t coherent.

-Communication. You have to be able to talk about anything - good, bad, and ugly. You have to be able to have respectful conversations even when you have vastly different opinions. If I wasn''t willing to talk to my BF about our sex life, money, our families, pet care, kids, our friends, food, sloth, etc. we''d have had a lot of fights where the underlying cause never would have been addressed. We discuss the deeper issues, and work on them together as well as whatever brings them to the surface.

-Compatible sex drives. Just sayin''.

-Similar attitudes towards spending and debt. If one person thinks you should only pay cash, and the other would rather have the latest whatever than put money towards retirement, you''re going to have problems.

-Willingness to meet in the middle. I give gifts to show affection. BF makes sure that my Chobani is at the front of the fridge so I can get it easily in the morning to show he''s thinking about me. We''ve been giving affection the way we want to receive it - so we''ve been trying to do both, and appreciate what the other person does. I make sure his ginger beer and dark rum stash are easily accessible, and he picks up a movie he knows I like.

-A small amount of butterflies - passion and romance decreases after a while (hopefully it doesn''t totally disappear) and other things become more important. But I like that every now and then I look at him and just get plain giddy. I like that when I haven''t seen him in a few days, I get antsy and get butterflies about seeing him.

-A strong friendship. Even before we were dating, I liked and respected my BF as a friend. As other things take priority, we''ve got a strong friendship - butterflies aside, I genuinely like M as a person. Starting as friends was amazing for us because we already had a strong foundation when serious emotions got involved.

-You need to understand and respect each other''s non-negotiables, no matter what they are.


I guess I think that romance and friendship are equally important, they''re just not equally important at the same time - if there''s no spark, there''s no point trying to make one, and if there''s no friendship it''s going to be hard to get through stressful times. New babies, deaths in the family, job loss...these things have very little (dare I say no?) romance in them, and yet a strong marriage can get through them and use them to get stronger.

Not sure I answered your question or made any sense, but that''s what came to mind.

 

[LadyJane83]

Great posts! I was just interested on seeing everyone''s thoughts on relationships in general. My bf and I definitely have a strong friendship and like to spend a lot of time together. I think communication and similar goals are very important. It is also nice when your character traits sort of "balance" each other (for example, I am impatient and the bf is patient).

 

[monarch64]

Date: 3/26/2010 1:32:31 PM
Author:LadyJane83
Bored... so thought I''d open up a dialogue.

In your opinion, what are the ''ingredients'' for establishing/maintaining a healthy and happy marriage or relationship? What is most important?

Is it better to have more of a ''romance'' (in the traditional sense- like Nora Roberts novels lol) or more of a ''friendship''?

What have you learned from past relationships or relationships of your family and friends?

His main purpose in life should be pleasing me. I''m not an accessory.

Romance in the Nora Roberts sense is not my cup of tea. Romance in the JD Robb sense I can deal with. It is AS important as friendship, which equals mutual acceptance and support, but not codependence.

I''ve learned that life is too short to be miserable with someone. If you can''t work out the big issues, they bleed into the little ones and then everything is an issue. People do not typically change, imo, and when you find the person with whom you are compatible, you won''t want to change them.

 

[lilyfoot]

Date: 3/26/2010 1:48:41 PM
Author: FrekeChild
In your opinion, what are the ''ingredients'' for establishing/maintaining a healthy and happy marriage or relationship? What is most important?
Communication. Communication. Communication. And compatible life goals.

Is it better to have more of a ''romance'' (in the traditional sense- like Nora Roberts novels lol) or more of a ''friendship''?
Friendship.

What have you learned from past relationships or relationships of your family and friends?
Learn to pump your own gas. Being dependent on your husband for gas pumping does now show people how much he loves you, it shows people how you''re incapable of doing anything yourself.

Yes, yes, yes, and yes. Completely, 100% agree. Though, compatible sex drives don''t hurt either

Friendship, definitely.

What have you learned from past relationships or relationships of your family and friends?
Don''t allow yourself (as in, your sense of self) to be lost within a relationship.

If you find that you can''t be yourself with your partner, he/she is not the right partner for you.

If you think it''s wrong, 99.9% of the time, it is.

 

[lilyfoot]

Date: 3/26/2010 2:11:11 PM
Author: monarch64


I''ve learned that life is too short to be miserable with someone. If you can''t work out the big issues, they bleed into the little ones and then everything is an issue. People do not typically change, imo, and when you find the person with whom you are compatible, you won''t want to change them.

Mon, your whole post was great, but this definitely stood out to me.

Don''t get into a relationship, get engaged, or get married to someone, and expect them to change. They stay the same! That''s a very important life lesson.

 

[fieryred33143]

Ditto what the smarty pants have already said

.

Also another key recipe:

One cup
3/4 margarita mix
1 shot of tequila
Teaspoon of sugar

Once you are married, 2 shots.

Once you have kids, skip the mix and sugar.

(a sense of humor also helps)

 

[RaiKai]

I think there is room (and need) for both a healthy, strong friendship, and a healthy strong "romance". When I say romance though, I mean a genuine affection and interest in the other, not a Hollywood-romantic ideal. I really don't think it is a case of one or the other...the friendship needs to be truly there at the core, but if there is no romance....well....romance really adds that spark I think is needed.

I don't think it is as simple to list "ingredients" but here are my first thoughts....

Elements I think are important:

- continuous curiousity about self and other
- complete honesty (as in not "selective" honesty!) about your true nature and self including where you may fear sharing those insecurities or feelings
- communication...lots of it (this will be repeated in various forms here!)
- compassion for one another and self
- trust in one another and self
- willingness to explore the relationship and one another and self
- acceptance of each other as they are and acceptance of self
- personal self-awareness and self-responsibility for own feelings, etc and allow the other to also take self-responsibility for self
- compatibility in respect of sharing affection (i.e. emotionally, sexually, etc)
- readiness to identify and learn together what marriage means for you as a couple
- encourage and support personal/individual growth
- respect for one anothers individuality as their own person (not as a "role" or your "half" or what have you)
- compatibilities on your values and goals for your lives/relationship
- I will also add a shared belief in the value of counseling, etc if we do get stuck!
- continuous participation in dialogue and conversation (this really fits in with several of the others above)
- a very strong sense of "teamwork" - this involves having shared and active ideas and plans on how to deal with finances, children, in laws, careers, household life, setbacks, lifestyle - this does not mean you need to be 100% the SAME on these things, but that you can work together, respect one another, and really put the "team" of you above things like the drama in-laws may bring, etc.
- a sense of humour - an ability to laugh at yourself, at one another (in a respectful way of course!), at life, at the stumbles you take together


What have I learned from my own past relationships:

- things can be good on paper, but not in application
- you can't force things into something they aren't
- there is more to a great relationship than two pretty awesome people
- does not matter how much one of you tries if the other one isn't
- it is better to be alone outside of a relationship then lonely in one
- if you don't accept, trust, believe and love yourself warts and all....how can anyone else be given that opportunity...and no relationship will make up for your own insecurities
- chemistry is not all there is to it
- friendship is not all there is to it
- a problem with your sex life can rapidly become a BIG problem
- you can read all the self help books you want, but you both need to be willing to work together
- at the core of it, men and women both really are not that different - yes, there are differences, but it is not as concrete as the self-help books will have you think when you get to the core of it...the trick is seeing past the roles and societal expectations and getting to the core of one another

What I have learned from others relationships (and more of my own):

- see all my above points...I will also add
- you are not emotionally smarter than your partner just because you are a woman
- a lot of communication issues would resolve if people just took the time to breathe and listen with some compassion and understanding rather than try and prove their own "point"
- both men and women can make a lot of stupid decisions and would be better off talking to a counselor before they repeat the cycle...again
- leave the immaturity and drama to the children and the theatre
- you can't live your life, or enjoy a healthy relationship, if you live it like you are ticking boxes (get engaged, get married, tick tick tick) according to some strange expectations
- a commitment can or will not be there irrespective of engagement or marriage - there are couples who are married who are completely uncommitted, and those who aren't who are completely committed
- relationships should not be THAT HARD. Yes, there will be times where you need to pull together through some tough times, but when it is a matter of you having to "make" the other person do this or that, or not do this or that........it is NOT going to end well.
- marriage is not an end goal
- you cannot expect someone else to MAKE you happy despite what the movies may tell you

Phew, that is enough for now!

 

[RaiKai]

Date: 3/26/2010 2:12:48 PM
Author: lilyfoot

Date: 3/26/2010 2:11:11 PM

Author: monarch64



I've learned that life is too short to be miserable with someone. If you can't work out the big issues, they bleed into the little ones and then everything is an issue. People do not typically change, imo, and when you find the person with whom you are compatible, you won't want to change them.

Mon, your whole post was great, but this definitely stood out to me.


Don't get into a relationship, get engaged, or get married to someone, and expect them to change. They stay the same! That's a very important life lesson.

My perspective is more....don't expect them to change, AND don't expect them to stay the same either. People, healthy people, change. You will change until you are dead (and I am not so sure yet what happens then!). I am always changing, my husband is always changing, as we are continuously exploring how we relate to one another, the world, and ourselves.....

So, I married him accepting him AS he was (and that as he has BEEN is part of that too), but also being flexible to accept how he may be as life carries on. Granted, it is POSSIBLE, that we may both change in ways that just cannot work for one another anymore and that is when some tough choices might come (I don't foresee this, but it is not impossible either) however I do trust that as long as we continue the elements I described in my previous post, I trust we can continue to grow together AS we change.

While many people marry hoping the other will change (which does not work well), many also marry thinking the other will never change (which also does not work well)....this is encompassed in that saying "women marry hoping the man will change, men marry hoping the woman won't, both end up being disappointed" - despite the statement being a little....stereotyped, I think you can say that this is a tendency of people in a lot of ways.

 

[winelover23]

Wine. Club. Memberships.

 

[purselover]

Relationships need great communication, like Princess said you can''t be afraid to talk about things no matter what it is. Every relationship has it''s up and downs but you''ll never get out of the downs if you can''t talk honestly with eachother.

It''s important to show love the way the other person needs it, again similar to Princess my DH makes me coffee in the mornings which helps my day run smoother and saves me a few minutes, he''ll also put together a baggie of granola to help me out if he knows that''s what I want.

Like Freke said similar life goals, do you want to travel, how many kids do you want, when, who will be the primary caregiver. How do you handle finances? How much of your income should you save, spend on a house, etc.

Friendship is key it really is what builds a strong foundation in a relationship. Passion goes through highs and lows, but you''ll always be best friends.

Try to fight fairly, I know over the years I''ve gotten better about taking a deep breathe and really thinking about what''s coming out of my mouth during a fight. Don''t drag other issues into your fights stick to one topic at a time. Sometimes you have to let things go, I know DH can be a nightmare around finals but for 2 weeks a years I suck it up and let him be a pain - and whenever possible he lets things go with me. If we nitpicked eachother on every little thing we''d be fighting 80% of the time. You guys are on the same team and you are not eachother''s enemy.

You''re in it for the long haul so try to have as much fun as possible!

 

[CNOS128]

It''s also important to choose well. And to recognize when you''re not with the right person - or when that person isn''t giving you what you need - and be able to walk away.

And ditto all the communication stuff.

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 3/26/2010 2:14:23 PM
Author: fiery
Ditto what the smarty pants have already said

.

Also another key recipe:

One cup
3/4 margarita mix
1 shot of tequila
Teaspoon of sugar

Once you are married, 2 shots.

Once you have kids, skip the mix and sugar.

(a sense of humor also helps)

LOL!! Love this.

 

[monarch64]

So RaiKai, wouldn''t you say that you WILL NOT change the fact that you are always changing? I was going for simple.

 

[Lilac]

Date: 3/26/2010 1:58:11 PM
Author: princesss
Okay, I'm just thinking out loud, so don't mind me if this isn't coherent.

-Communication. You have to be able to talk about anything - good, bad, and ugly. You have to be able to have respectful conversations even when you have vastly different opinions. If I wasn't willing to talk to my BF about our sex life, money, our families, pet care, kids, our friends, food, sloth, etc. we'd have had a lot of fights where the underlying cause never would have been addressed. We discuss the deeper issues, and work on them together as well as whatever brings them to the surface.

-Compatible sex drives. Just sayin'.

-Similar attitudes towards spending and debt. If one person thinks you should only pay cash, and the other would rather have the latest whatever than put money towards retirement, you're going to have problems.

-Willingness to meet in the middle. I give gifts to show affection. BF makes sure that my Chobani is at the front of the fridge so I can get it easily in the morning to show he's thinking about me. We've been giving affection the way we want to receive it - so we've been trying to do both, and appreciate what the other person does. I make sure his ginger beer and dark rum stash are easily accessible, and he picks up a movie he knows I like.

-A small amount of butterflies - passion and romance decreases after a while (hopefully it doesn't totally disappear) and other things become more important. But I like that every now and then I look at him and just get plain giddy. I like that when I haven't seen him in a few days, I get antsy and get butterflies about seeing him.

-A strong friendship. Even before we were dating, I liked and respected my BF as a friend. As other things take priority, we've got a strong friendship - butterflies aside, I genuinely like M as a person. Starting as friends was amazing for us because we already had a strong foundation when serious emotions got involved.

-You need to understand and respect each other's non-negotiables, no matter what they are.

I guess I think that romance and friendship are equally important, they're just not equally important at the same time - if there's no spark, there's no point trying to make one, and if there's no friendship it's going to be hard to get through stressful times. New babies, deaths in the family, job loss...these things have very little (dare I say no?) romance in them, and yet a strong marriage can get through them and use them to get stronger.

Not sure I answered your question or made any sense, but that's what came to mind.

Ditto to all of it, and I particularly agree with the parts I just bolded. Couldn't have said it better myself, princesss

 

[RaiKai]

Date: 3/26/2010 2:51:28 PM
Author: monarch64
So RaiKai, wouldn''t you say that you WILL NOT change the fact that you are always changing? I was going for simple.

Oh gosh, I know, I confused myself writing that.

You said it much, much simpler indeed! I''ll just ditto that.

 

[hisdiamondgirl]

Date: 3/26/2010 2:14:23 PM
Author: fiery
Ditto what the smarty pants have already said

.

Also another key recipe:

One cup
3/4 margarita mix
1 shot of tequila
Teaspoon of sugar

Once you are married, 2 shots.

Once you have kids, skip the mix and sugar.

(a sense of humor also helps)

This has to be the best advice ever!

 

[hisdiamondgirl]

Date: 3/26/2010 2:11:11 PM
Author: monarch64

Date: 3/26/2010 1:32:31 PM
Author:LadyJane83
Bored... so thought I''d open up a dialogue.

In your opinion, what are the ''ingredients'' for establishing/maintaining a healthy and happy marriage or relationship? What is most important?

Is it better to have more of a ''romance'' (in the traditional sense- like Nora Roberts novels lol) or more of a ''friendship''?

What have you learned from past relationships or relationships of your family and friends?

His main purpose in life should be pleasing me. I''m not an accessory.

Romance in the Nora Roberts sense is not my cup of tea. Romance in the JD Robb sense I can deal with. It is AS important as friendship, which equals mutual acceptance and support, but not codependence.

I''ve learned that life is too short to be miserable with someone. If you can''t work out the big issues, they bleed into the little ones and then everything is an issue. People do not typically change, imo, and when you find the person with whom you are compatible, you won''t want to change them.

Whoa! Now that is HOT! I think I could deal with that too!

 

[LilyKat]

Liking each other. Consideration, kindness, forgiveness, compatible life goals and a sense of humour.

 

[vc10um]

Date: 3/26/2010 3:01:22 PM
Author: Lilac

Date: 3/26/2010 1:58:11 PM
Author: princesss
Okay, I''m just thinking out loud, so don''t mind me if this isn''t coherent.

-Communication. You have to be able to talk about anything - good, bad, and ugly. You have to be able to have respectful conversations even when you have vastly different opinions. If I wasn''t willing to talk to my BF about our sex life, money, our families, pet care, kids, our friends, food, sloth, etc. we''d have had a lot of fights where the underlying cause never would have been addressed. We discuss the deeper issues, and work on them together as well as whatever brings them to the surface.

-Compatible sex drives. Just sayin''.

-Similar attitudes towards spending and debt. If one person thinks you should only pay cash, and the other would rather have the latest whatever than put money towards retirement, you''re going to have problems.

-Willingness to meet in the middle. I give gifts to show affection. BF makes sure that my Chobani is at the front of the fridge so I can get it easily in the morning to show he''s thinking about me. We''ve been giving affection the way we want to receive it - so we''ve been trying to do both, and appreciate what the other person does. I make sure his ginger beer and dark rum stash are easily accessible, and he picks up a movie he knows I like.

-A small amount of butterflies - passion and romance decreases after a while (hopefully it doesn''t totally disappear) and other things become more important. But I like that every now and then I look at him and just get plain giddy. I like that when I haven''t seen him in a few days, I get antsy and get butterflies about seeing him.

-A strong friendship. Even before we were dating, I liked and respected my BF as a friend. As other things take priority, we''ve got a strong friendship - butterflies aside, I genuinely like M as a person. Starting as friends was amazing for us because we already had a strong foundation when serious emotions got involved.

-You need to understand and respect each other''s non-negotiables, no matter what they are.

I guess I think that romance and friendship are equally important, they''re just not equally important at the same time - if there''s no spark, there''s no point trying to make one, and if there''s no friendship it''s going to be hard to get through stressful times. New babies, deaths in the family, job loss...these things have very little (dare I say no?) romance in them, and yet a strong marriage can get through them and use them to get stronger.

Not sure I answered your question or made any sense, but that''s what came to mind.

Ditto to all of it, and I particularly agree with the parts I just bolded. Couldn''t have said it better myself, princesss

Yup. Ditto again. Well said, P!

 

[luckynumber]

Date: 3/26/2010 4:42:01 PM
Author: vc10um

Date: 3/26/2010 3:01:22 PM
Author: Lilac

Date: 3/26/2010 1:58:11 PM
Author: princesss
Okay, I''m just thinking out loud, so don''t mind me if this isn''t coherent.

-Communication. You have to be able to talk about anything - good, bad, and ugly. You have to be able to have respectful conversations even when you have vastly different opinions. If I wasn''t willing to talk to my BF about our sex life, money, our families, pet care, kids, our friends, food, sloth, etc. we''d have had a lot of fights where the underlying cause never would have been addressed. We discuss the deeper issues, and work on them together as well as whatever brings them to the surface.

-Compatible sex drives. Just sayin''.

-Similar attitudes towards spending and debt. If one person thinks you should only pay cash, and the other would rather have the latest whatever than put money towards retirement, you''re going to have problems.

-Willingness to meet in the middle. I give gifts to show affection. BF makes sure that my Chobani is at the front of the fridge so I can get it easily in the morning to show he''s thinking about me. We''ve been giving affection the way we want to receive it - so we''ve been trying to do both, and appreciate what the other person does. I make sure his ginger beer and dark rum stash are easily accessible, and he picks up a movie he knows I like.

-A small amount of butterflies - passion and romance decreases after a while (hopefully it doesn''t totally disappear) and other things become more important. But I like that every now and then I look at him and just get plain giddy. I like that when I haven''t seen him in a few days, I get antsy and get butterflies about seeing him.

-A strong friendship. Even before we were dating, I liked and respected my BF as a friend. As other things take priority, we''ve got a strong friendship - butterflies aside, I genuinely like M as a person. Starting as friends was amazing for us because we already had a strong foundation when serious emotions got involved.

-You need to understand and respect each other''s non-negotiables, no matter what they are.

I guess I think that romance and friendship are equally important, they''re just not equally important at the same time - if there''s no spark, there''s no point trying to make one, and if there''s no friendship it''s going to be hard to get through stressful times. New babies, deaths in the family, job loss...these things have very little (dare I say no?) romance in them, and yet a strong marriage can get through them and use them to get stronger.

Not sure I answered your question or made any sense, but that''s what came to mind.

Ditto to all of it, and I particularly agree with the parts I just bolded. Couldn''t have said it better myself, princesss

Yup. Ditto again. Well said, P!

+1

just don''t get me started on the topic of sex again

 

[HollyS]

A successful relationship, regardless of marital status, is about respect. First and foremost. In every little instance, and every big situation. Treat each other with respect every moment of every day.

There is NOTHING more important; it is the foundation upon which the relationship will be built. If you respect each other, treat each other with deference and care, you will find it difficult to be angry, or hurtful, or snide, or mean, or resentful, or touchy, or crabby, or . . . use hundreds of other nasty little emotional land mines that have a tendency to eventually explode. ALWAYS respect each other. If you cannot, you have the wrong partner - - period.

Romance? Are you talking passion? ''Cause it will come and go. Nobody has a soap opera ''super couple'' type relationship. N-o-b-o-d-y. And geez, wouldn''t that be exhausting, anyway. But if you aren''t ''friends'' with your SO, the relationship is destined to grow stale.

Real romance is doing small things every day to make the other person feel important, secure, cared for, appreciated, respected. Successful couples don''t even have to think about it. They do it.

 

[monarch64]

Date: 3/26/2010 8:04:16 PM
Author: HollyS
A successful relationship, regardless of marital status, is about respect. First and foremost. In every little instance, and every big situation. Treat each other with respect every moment of every day.


There is NOTHING more important; it is the foundation upon which the relationship will be built. If you respect each other, treat each other with deference and care, you will find it difficult to be angry, or hurtful, or snide, or mean, or resentful, or touchy, or crabby, or . . . use hundreds of other nasty little emotional land mines that have a tendency to eventually explode. ALWAYS respect each other. If you cannot, you have the wrong partner - - period.


Romance? Are you talking passion? ''Cause it will come and go. Nobody has a soap opera ''super couple'' type relationship. N-o-b-o-d-y. And geez, wouldn''t that be exhausting, anyway. But if you aren''t ''friends'' with your SO, the relationship is destined to grow stale.


Real romance is doing small things every day to make the other person feel important, secure, cared for, appreciated, respected. Successful couples don''t even have to think about it. They do it.

Holly, spot-on, I totally agree that the "R" word is key. Great post.

 

[Haven]

I actually think the key to a successful relationship is to have shared expectations for what you expect from each other, and from life.

 

[RaiKai]

Date: 3/26/2010 8:04:16 PM
Author: HollyS
A successful relationship, regardless of marital status, is about respect. First and foremost. In every little instance, and every big situation. Treat each other with respect every moment of every day.



There is NOTHING more important; it is the foundation upon which the relationship will be built. If you respect each other, treat each other with deference and care, you will find it difficult to be angry, or hurtful, or snide, or mean, or resentful, or touchy, or crabby, or . . . use hundreds of other nasty little emotional land mines that have a tendency to eventually explode. ALWAYS respect each other. If you cannot, you have the wrong partner - - period.



Romance? Are you talking passion? ''Cause it will come and go. Nobody has a soap opera ''super couple'' type relationship. N-o-b-o-d-y. And geez, wouldn''t that be exhausting, anyway. But if you aren''t ''friends'' with your SO, the relationship is destined to grow stale.



Real romance is doing small things every day to make the other person feel important, secure, cared for, appreciated, respected. Successful couples don''t even have to think about it. They do it.

Wonderful post and right on (aka ditto this!)

 

[princesss]

Date: 3/26/2010 8:04:16 PM
Author: HollyS
A successful relationship, regardless of marital status, is about respect. First and foremost. In every little instance, and every big situation. Treat each other with respect every moment of every day.


There is NOTHING more important; it is the foundation upon which the relationship will be built. If you respect each other, treat each other with deference and care, you will find it difficult to be angry, or hurtful, or snide, or mean, or resentful, or touchy, or crabby, or . . . use hundreds of other nasty little emotional land mines that have a tendency to eventually explode. ALWAYS respect each other. If you cannot, you have the wrong partner - - period.


Romance? Are you talking passion? ''Cause it will come and go. Nobody has a soap opera ''super couple'' type relationship. N-o-b-o-d-y. And geez, wouldn''t that be exhausting, anyway. But if you aren''t ''friends'' with your SO, the relationship is destined to grow stale.


Real romance is doing small things every day to make the other person feel important, secure, cared for, appreciated, respected. Successful couples don''t even have to think about it. They do it.

Great post, Holly!

 

[PumpkinPie]

Most of my thoughts have already been posted - I just wanted to thank RaiKai for taking so much time to contribute to this thread - such a helpful post!

 

[Indylady]

I don''t think I have anything to add that hasn''t been said except for compromise, but here''s my list anyway.

Successful relationships have:
Respect
Love
Trust
Dedication
Communication
Flexibility
Compromise
And a little big of magic, like Princesss mentioned

 

[ChloeTheGreat]

All of the above.

"Being on the same page" is so important