57K for a wedding in San Francisco?! OMG.

[pannini]

Hi everyone, fiance and I went to complimentary consultation with a wedding consultant last weekend, and she went through an itemized list of things we wanted or preferred, and she gave us a grand estimated quote of 57K for a wedding in San Francisco!

Insane! What is the strategy to getting a day of consultant/coordinator and still keep everything within a reasonable budget? We naively said we hoped for a 35K wedding in SF, then after she asked us questions and tallied things up, she said 57.

We went into shock, and shortly thereafter we got really depressed for a week or two. Now we''re just trying to figure out how to go about this.

Anyone know of options or approaches? Should we ask her to help us keep it within 40-42K as a way to negotiate her help?

 

[meresal]

Find another planner immediately. It would be stupid to "negotiate" with a planner unless you are talking about HER wage... not YOUR budget. Why would you change your budget to add $10k because of one planner?

A great planner will try thier hardest to get you exactly waht you want, and still keep you in budget. You aren't paying someone to tell you what you will spend, you are paying someone to help you realize what you what for the lowest price.

If I told someone my budget was $35k and she told me that I would *have* to spend $57k, I would leave her office. Did she say anything else? Like ideas on how to attain what you want for less?

A planner should be answering these questions for you.

ETA: A bigger budget from you, usually means a bigger pay check for her (Is her fee based on a percentage of your budget? or a flat rate?). I would meet with a few more and get their opinions.

 

[honey22]

Ditto everything Mere said. It''s crazy talk. You should shop around anyway I believe.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

I agree with meresal, but I will say I am not surprised by that price.

I am doing a wedding in Santa Rosa on a Friday night. I did it in Santa Rosa to avoid the prices from SF and napa/sonoma proper. I have received several discounts for doing the Firday night thing, and except my dress

, have not gone crazy. My wedding is already approaching 30k.

That is for a Friday night, 75 people, beer/wine open bar, chicken dinner, DJ (for the ceremony and reception), and photographer from SF.

But I will stress, this is your budget, a good wedding planner will tell you what is realistic and help you stretch it. Not tell you it isn''t possible.

 

[PumpkinPie]

I think Meresal said it best.. I agree completely

 

[caribqueen]

I''m curious to know what kind of guestlist numbers that consultant considered in her quote.

 

[cara]

Well, I disagree a bit with mere in that in this case you told the planner what you wanted and she said it would cost $57k. It might, depends on what you asked for!

If you want a planner to work within your budget, you will have to approach the wedding planning from that perspective: this is my budget, how can I get as much of what I want as possible for this budget and what compromises will have to be made to stay in budget. Talk to your planner again and emphasize your budgetary constraints and ask her to discuss with you ways to stay in budget and get most of what you want.

But you may not have the right planner for this approach - I think some planners will pressure you to up the budget rather than make the compromises necessary. For reference, I can easily see $60k being a SF wedding budget without much trouble - depending on what you want. I had a 100 person wedding in wine country for under $40k and it was pretty nice if I do say so myself, but we definitely had to work to limit our spending to that extravagant amount. And you can certainly do it for less than we spent, but again it depends what compromises you are willing to make.

 

[sonnyjane]

Date: 3/23/2010 10:10:17 PM
Author: cara
Well, I disagree a bit with mere in that in this case you told the planner what you wanted and she said it would cost $57k. It might, depends on what you asked for!

This. From what you've told us, you didn't tell the planner your budget, you just listed what you wanted and asked for the price. That price sounds right on par for the area, honestly. Definitely shop around for planners and vendors and plan to make some sacrifices, but I don't think this planner did anything wrong.

 

[pannini]

Date: 3/24/2010 12:24:07 AM
Author: sonnyjane

Date: 3/23/2010 10:10:17 PM

Author: cara

Well, I disagree a bit with mere in that in this case you told the planner what you wanted and she said it would cost $57k. It might, depends on what you asked for!

This. From what you''ve told us, you didn''t tell the planner your budget, you just listed what you wanted and asked for the price. That price sounds right on par for the area, honestly. Definitely shop around for planners and vendors and plan to make some sacrifices, but I don''t think this planner did anything wrong.

Thanks everyone!

Regarding the response above. The first thing she asked was what our budget was. We said 35-40K for a 150 person wedding in SF. We told her we wanted certain things and she listed them. She then asked how important it was to have certain things and she listed them and tacked a quote to each listed item. Then she gave us a quoted total of 57K. She then said, it would be advised that we try to go outside of SF for a 15% reduction in the budget, but with catering and venue and number of guests, it would be hard to go below 50K. I see how it made sense. I just want to know if it''s possible to have a 35-40K wedding in SF for our guest size.

We are simple people, we don''t expect much. Just a good photographer and decent food. And a good group of people there with good music. Hell, I guess everyone wants that right?! lol.

 

[cara]

Yeah, of course its possible to have a 150 person wedding in SF for $35-40k. But what are you willing to compromise on? Lunch/brunch instead of dinner? Day of week? DJ? Cheap photog? Cheaper venue (they are generally cheaper for a reason - or you end up spending so much on rentals/fixing it up that the savings are washed out)? No planner (what is her fee?) Flowers?

It sounds to me like the planner was trying to be realistic in telling you her estimate of what the wedding you want would cost. She doesn''t want to be in the position of telling you she can get you a $60k wedding for $40k and then you are really unhappy when either the budget blows up or you have a wedding that doesn''t meet your expectations because compromises were required. If you are prepared to make compromises to stick to your budget, call her back and see what she recommends BUT you''ll have to prioritize what you want and be prepared to provide some flexibility.

She still could be the wrong planner for this task. Not all are budget focused, or want the stress of working with budgets that are tight relative to the expectations. Some planners do end up saving you money ( or at least saving you the equivalent of their fee) because of their relationships with vendors but some are really providing a service (organization, aesthetic or event planning skills) that costs something, so its another expense in your budget.

Yeah, and its amazing what the ''basics'' cost! Really, venue, catering, photog and possibly band (if by good music you mean band), you just mentioned the budget biggies. I guess some people go crazy on the dress, and flowers are $$$, but you might do well to play with the knot budget calculator a bit on your own, and price out certain elements to see if you can find satisfactory options in the price range you want.