How do you guys DO it?? (Question from an absent, admiring BIW)

[blueroses]

....manage to post regularly, lead full lives, plan a wedding, and manage the stress of being engaged, I mean.

I''m in awe.

I''ve been completely MIA from PS and the BWW board for several months. In talking to lots of newlywed friends, I''ve found that FI''s pattern and mine is common: get a lot of stuff for the wedding done up front, hang out for a few months, and then have a TON of crazy stressful stuff hit the fan at the end.

In our case (with 65 days to go) it''s just a LOT of life-intervening stuff that''s prevented me from me from keeping any details updated on PS or anything. Which is a shame--it would have been fun to share stuff with you guys, and to see the growth of everyone else''s weddings. My oldest friend (this is happy news about which I''m THRILLED, but it''s still a change) who lives overseas is due with her first baby at the end of June, so I''m down a bridesmaid. Our reception hall was in limbo for a while--we weren''t sure if we''d have it after all and were potentially in another space with REALLY strict rules that would have cost us a couple thousand more dollars and finally just had it confirmed that it''s ours again. It''s been pretty crazy to the point of our considering pushing back our date by several months. We''ll have made that decision by March 1 for sure. And, my mostly absent-from-planning parents have suddenly gotten involved. THAT''S fun. Yeah.

*sigh*

In the meantime, I sleep with visions of paper lanterns, votives, manzanita branches, and hydrangeas dancing in my head. And meddling, judgey, reservations-sharing parents.


Anyway--you guys are amazing. I still haven''t even done my freaking SMTR thread with all the pictures of my e-ring. From last JUNE. I have the pictures!

I suck.

Ok, so that said:
.....is anyone doing digital calligraphy for their invitations?

I''ve found two really inexpensive vendors who seem great. Actually, their prices are identical, and I''m pretty sure one is an exact copycat of the first, but wanted to see if anyone had used either.
http://www.inkspun.com/calligo.htm
http://www.weddingink.net/home

Sending smooth-sailing and under-budget wishes.
xoxo
BR

 

[LilyKat]

Hi Blueroses!

Not sure about anyone else, but I do it by NOT REALLY CARING. No DIY projects for me. No obsessing over napkin colours. I don't care what flowers you use in my bouquet, as long as it's sort of pretty. No, I'm not going to give you a playlist, just do what you like, you're a professional. I ordered my dress unseen online for $300, think it's great, and that's that. No bridesmaids - big plus...

We've booked absolutely everything now and have nothing to do until the day except write and send the invitations.

This attitude has allowed me to actually have a lot of fun with the planning, without being stressed by the parental input (of which there has been a lot!) and not affect my full-time hospital doctor job. Please don't think I'm being critical of people who are more involved than me - it's great if you enjoy it! What I'm saying is, there IS another way

 

[Iowa Lizzy]

Hey BR. I really DON''T do it. Sometimes it seems like I have tons done. Then I remember that my wedding is 4 months away and I don''t even have anyone to officiate yet. Or grooms/groomsmen attire. Or music at the ceremony. Or a myriad of other details I continue to procrastinate on.

It''s so strange how wedding planning is part marathon (especially if you have a long engagement) to part sprint (at the very end). Some days I relish that I get to be a bride and plan all this. Others I lament that I let stupid things like the size of the peonies in my bouquet take over my mind.

 

[ArtistJess]

I work from home

I also set my wedding a year and a half away from my engagement. 2 months away now!

 

[laughwithme]

Our engagement is 14 months, so I never felt the rush (still 4 months to go.) All big stuff is done. Much of my planning has been online, as well - so clicking an extra tab to update or ask questions on BWW is no big deal. Its fun for me to read the experiences of other girls. I find time for this just as I find time to make my fiance dinner or read a book before bed or watch The Bachelor.

 

[ilovesparkles]

Good morning dear friend! I have fallen into the same situation. I moved and therefore dropped off the face of the planet including the wedding planning period. Now less than 4 months out, I am completely freaking out since I have nothing done! In fact I melted earlier this week and called my mom crying! I think it is just a choice of how to spend free time and how much sleep to get. At least for me!

I thought about you as I came here to update and didn''t recognize half the people posting. I hope the home stretch is a breeze for you! And you had better post wedding photos when you finally get those!

 

[pinki]

Date: 2/26/2010 3:07:36 AM
Author: LilyKat
Hi Blueroses!

Not sure about anyone else, but I do it by NOT REALLY CARING. No DIY projects for me. No obsessing over napkin colours. I don''t care what flowers you use in my bouquet, as long as it''s sort of pretty. No, I''m not going to give you a playlist, just do what you like, you''re a professional. I ordered my dress unseen online for $300, think it''s great, and that''s that. No bridesmaids - big plus...

We''ve booked absolutely everything now and have nothing to do until the day except write and send the invitations.

This attitude has allowed me to actually have a lot of fun with the planning, without being stressed by the parental input (of which there has been a lot!) and not affect my full-time hospital doctor job. Please don''t think I''m being critical of people who are more involved than me - it''s great if you enjoy it! What I''m saying is, there IS another way

+1 Haha...you and I sound like twins. I have some DIY projects, but I''m a crafty project person anyway so I just putz along with it.

Too funny, I''m so glad to hear another bride like me. I''ve literally told every vendor "I want a vintage wedding...here are some pics of what I like, my colors are pink and green and birch tree themed, make it happen this is your specialty not mine". It''s been awesome. I''ve actually found that most of these people get so excited to be able to fully extend their own creativity that they go above and beyond for me. My DJ is psyched out of his mind, my invitation designer was giddy, my cake guy was also ecstatic, and in the end I''m stress free and everything is coming together flawlessly. Even the guy who manages the ballroom says that he wants to get remarried like our wedding.

Cj

 

[FrekeChild]

Hey BR!

I got through it by picking a few choice things that I really REALLY cared about, and said "F it!" to the rest. My MOH called me the day we got to Vegas, with a "So, the jacket we bought for me to wear over my dress totally doesn''t go." And my response was, "MOH, I don''t give a rats @$$. Wear whatever you want."

And you know, I have no idea what she wore, but I don''t care, although I do hope she was warm enough.

But really, I did a lot of planning at the beginning, some interspersed planning (mostly making appointments/reception stuff) a few months before the wedding, and then in the weeks before the wedding I just had to pack and make sure I didn''t forget anything.

Stuff I stressed over:
-Food. And now, even almost 2 months after the wedding, people are still talking about it, and how for just about everyone it was the best meal they had ever had.
-My outfit. Well if anyone was going to look good, it''d better be me!
-Photographer. Dang good thing I stressed over this, looking at the pictures reminds me of things I had forgotten due to me being kind of out of it the day of.
-Invitations. My invitations were probably more important to me than they should have been. Even so, they came out beautifully.

Stuff I didn''t care about:
-Flowers. We carried bouquets. The guys had bouts. All white roses. No flowers at the reception.
-Programs, name cards, any paper products. Didn''t have them.
-DOH (dude of honor) and Best Men outfits. They all ended up wearing cobalt button downs, black pants and black ties. They looked fantastic, and without any effort on my part.
-The cake. Decorations?! Caketopper?! Hah! I didn''t even want a cake to begin with! It ended up being lovely, with chocolate covered strawberries, and naked blackberries, raspberries and blueberries on it.

And everything else basically came together due to deadlines, or necessity.

Don''t stress BR! Just breathe! And you know how to find me, if there is anything I can do to help!

 

[Haven]

I think it''s about your approach to the whole thing. I''m super laid back in general, and I wasn''t going to let planning our wedding (or buying a house, finishing my master''s, and planning and chaperoning a trip to Greece with 40 teenagers two weeks before the wedding) make me crazy.

I just made lists of what had to get done and when, and did them. I really dislike feeling stressed out or short on time, so I just prioritized and it worked out just fine. I was teaching full-time, too, so I had to work in grading and planning and all that. It just seemed to work out.

I think I didn''t care as much about the little details as some brides seem to, so those didn''t cloud my perspective at all.

I''m a big fan of To Do lists, and when I have big things coming up or a lot of things to juggle, I make them weekly. They really help. Maybe you just need to find a good time management tool that works for you.

 

[Steel]

Date: 2/25/2010 10:34:05 PM
Author:blueroses
....manage to post regularly, lead full lives, plan a wedding, and manage the stress of being engaged, I mean.

I''m in awe.

I have thought the very same thing. I never manage to string more than one or two posts together. I don''t know if I will ever manage to follow a thread from beginning to end

.

 

[Gypsy]

Posting kept me (relatively) sane, so I couldn't NOT post. But I still lost it. I was juggling a new job too, so sanity and sleep were basically what I sacrificed. And I got very ill the week of my wedding, was lucky that I was fine on the day of the wedding, then got even sicker AFTER the wedding. My body just gave out.

Advice. At some point stuff that normally sane you would not care about IN THE LEAST will become important. Like calligraphy. Just take a deep breath and think, "if I do this or don't do this what is the worst that could happen?"... A PSer did my envelopes on a printer in high quality color ink and we even decided to skip the 'faux' calligraphy fonts and they were STUNNING. No one but me cared. Or even noticed. Seriously. Which was a shame, cause they really turned out fabulous.

Prioritizing is very easy to advise, but really tough to do. If you have a problem with it, just ask. The great thing about this board is that many non-brides post here and will smack you down to reality to the extent that it is possible. Everyone has different priorities. I've been to weddings with the most amazing programs and menus. Guess what I didn't have at my wedding? Programs and menus. Guess what I did have? A memory table. I've been to zero weddings that have had that (other than my own). But when you are wedding planning, it's so easy to think you have to have it ALL (the programs, the menus, the memory tables, the chair covers, the custom table runners, the monogramed aisle runner...) and truly... you just don't. I nixed just about anything DIY... and ended up DIY my table numbers (which didn't turn out so great) and my escort cards (which did turn out great) to save money, but other than that... I either cut it out, or threw money at it to make it happen.

And blue... my deepest and most sincere congratulations to you both.

 

[blueroses]

Thank you ladies.

Honestly, I wish I''d been posting on here several times over the last couple of months when things spiked and got really bad on a couple of occasions. (Some serious crazy-making from my parents.) I think I would have benefited in the way Gypsy described. *sigh* Oh well. I can at least get some help from posting now.

I just see all the benefits that I didn''t get from PS and wedding bee and offbeat bride, etc. that I did NOT take advantage of when it might have helped...now it''s work time not brainstorm time and oh well, too late, you know?

At the end of the day we just want to be married to each other, so I can fixate on paper lanterns and manzanitas and shrugs, but none of that really matters.

SO....thank you for the virtual support and kind words and wisdom and perspective...I need it!!!

Gypsy, I wish I had your PSer digital calligrapher! I am just at that point *right* now. There''s a company out of New York we might use to outsource our envelopes (I''m kind of afraid to post links to stuff now--out of the loop on rules.) We''d get them all done for pretty affordable. I just have horrible handwriting and am afraid of having our own printer eat the envelopes. And oh my GOD real calligraphy is so expensive!! It''s like 400% more than doing it on the printer.

Anyhoo. Thank you Lilykat, TravelGoddess, ArtistJess, laughwithme, ilovesparkles, pinki, FrekeChild, Haven, Steal, Gypsy--for your helpful and varied perspectives. I''m going to come back soon when I''m freaking out and make myself read your replies again.