bar mitzvah gift

[cocolaw]

Please help! What is an appropriate bar mitzvah gift for someone''s son that my husband works with? I really do not want to do cash. Thanks!

 

[Haven]

We typically give checks for bnai mitzvah around here. It''s hard to give a meaningful Jewish gift if you aren''t Jewish, or if you aren''t close enough to the family to discuss it first. (e.g. People usually say "It would be my honor to give your daughter her ya''ad for the Bat Mitzvah, may I do that?" So if you aren''t close enough to do that, it''s tough to be sure that you''re giving her something she hasn''t already received.)

We give in multiples of 18, so if you decide to go the check route you could give in a multiple of 18.

 

[lilyfoot]

Date: 2/26/2010 6:16:19 PM
Author: Haven
We typically give checks for bnai mitzvah around here. It''s hard to give a meaningful Jewish gift if you aren''t Jewish, or if you aren''t close enough to the family to discuss it first. (e.g. People usually say ''It would be my honor to give your daughter her ya''ad for the Bat Mitzvah, may I do that?'' So if you aren''t close enough to do that, it''s tough to be sure that you''re giving her something she hasn''t already received.)

We give in multiples of 18, so if you decide to go the check route you could give in a multiple of 18.

I learn something new everyday!

 

[smiles]

Not a newlywed but thought Id pop in to offer some ideas here.
It is definitely hard to do this without knowing the person. I also feel like a boy is harder than a girl. Most common gifts given in my community (big city) would be cash in multiples of 18 as haven said, jewish related books (which will likely not get read until the the person get a bit older but depends on the kid), jewelery/watches, judaica (which would be things like candlesticks for girls to light sabbath candles with or a fancy cup for a boy for blessing the wine).
If you dont want to do cash, which I completely get, I would see if there are any judaica stores in your area and pop in. They easily be able to find something for you.

(p.s. the reason for the multiples of 18 is because hebrew numbers are also hebrew letters and the word that is made with the letters that equal 18 is "life".... kinda a good luck type, cheers to life kind of thing)

 

[Lilac]

Date: 2/26/2010 6:16:19 PM
Author: Haven
We typically give checks for bnai mitzvah around here. It''s hard to give a meaningful Jewish gift if you aren''t Jewish, or if you aren''t close enough to the family to discuss it first. (e.g. People usually say ''It would be my honor to give your daughter her ya''ad for the Bat Mitzvah, may I do that?'' So if you aren''t close enough to do that, it''s tough to be sure that you''re giving her something she hasn''t already received.)

We give in multiples of 18, so if you decide to go the check route you could give in a multiple of 18.

I agree with Haven. Usually when DH and I go to a bar mitzvah we give a check in a multiple of 18. There are various Judaic books that boys often get, but it''s difficult for people who aren''t Jewish to know which ones to buy. Also, the bar mitzvah boys often get several copies of the "typical" books that are given.

 

[Regular Guy]

Though I too "get" the desire to not give cash, and myself, regret not sharing with my friends at my bar mitzvah what I would like (but how would I have done that anyway?), my own family has set forward my tradition of giving something like cash, but not quite. Bonds. I don''t think any of my friends do this, and my son didn''t get them. But...when you give them, if a US bond, anyway, the face amount reads double for what you gave. Also, it gets to be saved for the future...for the future education, or whatever. Though it''s not a picnic to get (assign your own Social Security number, as this part is required, but the data is not important to the user...but check this out for yourself), it''s a gift that I''m satisfied to continue to give.

 

[purselover]

Date: 2/28/2010 9:33:21 AM
Author: Regular Guy
Though I too ''get'' the desire to not give cash, and myself, regret not sharing with my friends at my bar mitzvah what I would like (but how would I have done that anyway?), my own family has set forward my tradition of giving something like cash, but not quite. Bonds. I don''t think any of my friends do this, and my son didn''t get them. But...when you give them, if a US bond, anyway, the face amount reads double for what you gave. Also, it gets to be saved for the future...for the future education, or whatever. Though it''s not a picnic to get (assign your own Social Security number, as this part is required, but the data is not important to the user...but check this out for yourself), it''s a gift that I''m satisfied to continue to give.

I think this is a great idea if you don''t want to give cash

 

[missy]

I agree with the previous posters. It is appropriate to give either cash (checks) or bonds for a bar mitzvah. So, if you don't feel comfortable with giving cash then bonds are a great and thoughtful gift to give! In fact, my grandparents gave me bonds for almost every occasion when they were alive. Something for my future and I greatly appreciated it.