Proposal with temporary setting so she can choose a permanent one later?

[antigoon]

This is my current plan, but I'd like to hear from the rest of you if there are any holes in it:

I'm going to buy the (fantastic) diamond I want and have it set in a simple, inexpensive solitaire (probably 14k wg).

I'll propose.

Then I can let her choose the setting she really wants. This also allows her to match it with her wedding band (if she wants), and to match it with my wedding band (if we want).

Are there any problems with this plan?

Possible issues:

• Can't get much of a deal on the setting because I'm not buying the diamond along with.
• We'll probably be buying the setting from the internet (because we live in a town without so many options). So the setting couldn't be that custom made to the diamond. Alhough it would be set by a local jeweler, maybe it wouldn't be the perfect fit?

Thanks for your advice,
Steve

(I'm hoping you all tell me it's the right thing to do, but I really need confirmation of my decision. )

 

[VAgal13]

I think this one is tough. My step-mom got a ring from my Dad when he proposed, and then had it reset before their wedding. She wanted to match it to her wedding band. So, people definitely do that.

Personally, I am so sentimental, that I would probably keep the setting b/c it would forever remind me of the romantic proposal. But, everyone is different.

Has she hinted at all about rings she likes? Maybe if she's mentioned a friend's ring, then you could get a similar setting.

But, if you really do want her to pick out a the setting, I think your idea of a simple "proposal" setting will work.

Good luck!
-Sarah

 

[TheGymKid]

Hi... I'm going to buy a band that I like and hope she likes it... i talked to the store I bought it from and they said if she wants to bring it back for a different one right after, they will exchange, upgrade it.

I suggest you invest time into picking one out she will like... don't spend alot... and if she would like a different one... invest into it if needed.

To me the guy, I don't care, a rock a diamond, I would rather have the money for a house or something... but this has meaning to the girls... so if you are going to do it... you might as well go all the way to make them happy... cause I look at it this way, if they are happy, we are happy. : )

good luck.

 

[Nicrez]

I got the same exact proposal. My white gold setting IS sentimental, and will house a beautiful sky blue topaz I bought.

BUT right now I am considering different designers for my setting, so that I CAN match my wedding band and my e-ring. iw ant my e-ring to be unique, clean and simple, but smooth and different. That's why my sweet fiance knew how picky I am with accessories and things I wear, so he got me the rock, and everything else is for me to decide.

I personally think this is the way to go when she isn't speific about setting, as I would rather the choice, than perhaps having to get used to something I MAY or MAY NOT like. I am not rude, I appreciate the gift, but to me, a setting is a very very personal and subjective thing. I LOVE your idea...

Also, you don't get a better deal when you buy the ring usualy, if you are thinking stores, then they are likely to be giving you the band cheaper, because they could be overcharging you on the stone.

Online, the settings are priced what they are (some more competitive than others), and sometimes you can negotiate the stone's price. But in stores, it's usually an "imaginary" savings, again because their mark up can be much higher than on-line. Just a thought, so don't worry! A 14K white gold simple solitaire should run you no more than $75 or so! GOOD LUCK!!

 

[hoorray]

I think this is a great approach, but I think you should make your thought process/plan clear shortly after the proposal so that 1. she really understands that you did this on purpose and you indend for her to change it, and 2.she doesn't get sentimentally attached just because she thinks she should.

I would not feel as good about changing it if I thought at all that I might be hurting my DH's feelings by switching. But, if I know this was his plan all along, I would think it was fun and thoughtful, and would want to include him in the process (even tho he might want to pass

).

 

[aljdewey]

Cast my vote in support of the temporary setting. Rich and I went this route when we bought the diamond back in December because I wanted a custom setting, and we couldn't do it all at once.


He's got no problem with the idea of upgrades, but I'm a bit more sentimental about the stone and really wanted to keep our original stone if possible.




Hence, we put nearly all our funds at the time into the stone, and got a temporary simple Tiff style setting. I'm really glad we did this because: 1) it allowed us to get more stone -- which I'll keep forever. 2) I found that wearing the temp setting changed what I wanted in my permanent setting. 3) I didn't realize how *hard* it is to find wedding rings to fit flush with e-rings, so this has changed how I want to put my e-ring together.




We are now getting a ring custom-made and adding side stones, but I'm *so* glad we waited until I knew exactly what I wanted for a permanent setting.

 

[ShopDiva]

Yeah, definately go with the simple setting if you don't know what to get. That way she will still get an awesome rock for the proposal and you can have a good time shopping for the "perfect" setting together

!