Proposal idea... need comments!

[Keeps]

Hello all, I am new to this but I am going to be proposing to my girlfriend of 4+ years in the next couple weeks. I have many ideas running through my mind and I want to start narrowing some things down. Here is my question to you all: The last month My girlfriend has been STRONGLY hinting about wanting to get married and she knows that I want to also so sometimes I think she even may feel frustrated with the fact that I have not proposed sooner but there are a lot of things that take some time to get ready and I want everything to be perfect. Anyway here is my one idea, I was thinking of buying a $10 ring from a place like Walmart and saying something to the effect that I am giving this to you to let you know that I am serious about us being married and I thought this might help you to not feel frustrated anymore. Sometime later that day I will actually propose to her with the real ring. I thought that this would ensure me that she would be surprised because I know that now anytime we do something that she is going to be somewhat expecting it. I have one concern with this and that is that she will be so disappointed that she didn't get the real ring and it will take away from the day because she will be thinking about how disappointed she was. What do you think? Your comments would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

 

[sumi]

My husband proposed to me in a similar fashion. We went to a nice dinner on our fourth anniversary. At the end of dinner, he pulls out a Tiffany box from his pocket. My eyes got huge because I was expecting a ring and thought "This is it!". Instead, he said that he really wanted to buy me a ring, but he could only afford to buy me a necklace. I was pretty crushed, but I tried to hide it for the sake of my husband (at that time, my boyfriend). I felt bad for wanting something so expensive, and didn't want to make my husband feel bad for not being able to get me a ring.

Later that night, he was kind of teasing me and saying things like 'maybe we don't have to get a ring for a few more years' and such. So, finally I broke down in tears and got mad at him. I told him that I was trying so hard to be brave for his sake, but his teasing was really mean and unnecessary. That night, we went to bed not speaking to each other.


The next morning, I woke up to a lovely breakfast. I thought he was just being extra nice to make up for being mean. Instead, he proposed. And yes, there was a beautiful ring. All the teasing from the night before had been a hoax to throw me off guard. Boy, did it work!


I think it's a great idea. I look back at our anniversary dinner and chuckle. I actually think it's really clever. I was sort of expecting a ring on our fourth anniversary, and his whole charade totally threw me off.

 

[wallace]

Hi Keeps - I like the idea! It's funny! It certainly will be very telling, though... but I want to be careful how I say that becuase Sumi, who seems very sweet, couldn't contain the very real disappointment she felt... just be prepared.

Take Sumi's story to heart - see if that helps you decide if this will go off well - does she have a good sense of humor? Is she really into the ring? Does she have a sibling or someone you can trust to give you a better idea?

 

[Nicrez]

Sumi, I never heard your story before! How absolutely CRUEL of him, and how absolutely SWEET at the same time...

Honestly, sometimes that mean little kidding can get a wee bit ugly.

Careful if she's really looking forward to it, or if she's very honest...(wear some extra padding perhaps...?)

 

[Keeps]

Thanks for all your replies. I know it may be somewhat of a chance but I really want this to be a surprise and that was one way I thought I would for sure surprise her so if anyone has any other ideas I would be open to that as well. Thanks again!

 

[Nicrez]

Well one thing I heard of was a coworker I used to work with and her sister were getting engaged around the same time. He husband (then boyfriend) had gotten her all dressed up and told her that her sister's BF was going to propose and that they were headed to the "after dinner", but her sister was NOT in the loop...she said she was all sad, thinking how her younger sister was going to get engaged before she ever did, and when he took her to their favorite restaurant (he had the place closed down jsut for them (it was a Sunday) and he had candles and everything.

She plunked her stuff on the table and grumbled, where the HECK is everyone? Then when he got on his kneee, she finally gasped. Her sister got engaged the next weekend, but she still beat her to it!

Have any close friends you could lie about? Some people also lie and say it's a work related dinner, or something. Depends on your personal situation and what you can "fudge details" on...

 

[sumi]

I certainly hope that you don't think my proposal went poorly! Sure, at the time I thought my husband was being a real ass about the whole thing. He said he felt pretty bad tricking me and didn't know how long he could go without giving away his plan. But, after the proposal, I totally figured out why he was being an ass and I loved it! It was such a great way to throw me off. I only have wonderful memories of that night. I think it makes for a really funny story!


Err, to be perfectly honest, I think my husband was getting back at me a little for bugging him so much about getting the ring.

Little did I know he had been saving his money for a full year. Take it to heart ladies, don't bug him too much (especially if you know you're getting engaged soon!)

 

[ShopDiva]

Hey Ryan,
I too bugged my fiance' to propose for 4 years, I agree with your last comment and wonder if she'd be dis-appointed after you give her the $10 ring. Does she already have a promise ring? I would knock it out in one punch, I had no clue what was coming when I got engaged. I just told another guy the way my fiance' threw me was that he told me hours before the proposal that "hey you need to decide on a ring you like" so I thought he'd be proposing within the month not a couple hours later. Might work depending on if she's already been looking around and telling you things she likes. Also www.ScottKay.com has a list of proposal ideas, theknot.com and weddingchannel.com have good ideas too. Good luck!