Newly engaged trying to figure out a wedding date, does anyone base it on how old you are?

[lynn706]

Hi everyone!

I am new here. I just discovered this forum after we bought my engagement ring. It has been incredibly helpful since then.

I just got engaged over new years after being with my bf almost 4 years. I am 34 years old and part of me is ready to get on with getting married so we can start focusing on having a family but the other part of me wants to take my time and enjoy it and plan my wedding for next spring. I am torn between fall and spring for a wedding because I don''t think I want a winter wedding. Obviously I have some time to think about this but did anyone else in my age range let this be a factor? My fiance is a little younger than me and I think he prefers spring but he will go with whatever I choose.

I want the time to plan and enjoy being engaged but I don''t want to wait too long to try and start a family. My fiance and I are planning to buy a new house and move in together in the next couple of months and we want to focus on that first but once we are in there I wonder if I really need all that time to plan until next spring? Any tips for figuring this out?

Thanks!!

 

[Smurfysmiles]

I think you answered your own question here. You have to ask what is more important to you, that time engaged or getting started on your family sooner I don''t think really time to plan should be a big factor as I''m sure whatever you come up with will be just lovely I could have done our wedding faster than we did as I spent a good 2/3 of the engagement period procrastinating about planning and putting it off in general because i got sick of it for awhile lol

 

[monkeyprincess]

Hi, I just got engaged on NYE too! I'm 29 and my fiance is a little older than me. I want to have a family before long, but I also want to enjoy being married for awhile first, so we are planning on a wedding for early August this year. Everything is a bit on fast forward, but we're going to have a relatively small wedding, so I think we'll have plenty of time. I just never envisoned a long engagement, but I know that is important to some people. Good luck with your decision.

 

[caribqueen]

I totally understand where you''re coming from. Initially I thought I''d get engaged toward the end of the year 2008 and then be able to have my dream fall wedding in 2009 and be 32 years old at the time. But of course, it didn''t happen that way and I will be 33 when I get married this June.

I couldn''t plan when FI would propose and based on when he did we set a date. I''m very happy about having a Spring/Summer wedding, even though all these years I thought I''d have a fall wedding. To have a fall wedding it would''ve meant being engaged just 6 months or as long as 18 months. One is too early the other I felt too much time.

I think you could set a date for fall 2009 and still give yourself plenty of time (9 - 10 months) to plan the wedding. On the other hand, you would have to think about money, what kind of wedding you want and how big. It can eat up money very easily. If you have the funds available after buying a home, then I think it would be a good plan.

Personally, I''m a faithful person, and I believe that what is for you will be, regardless of the timeframe and pressures we put on ourselves. Good luck!

 

[LilyKat]

It really depends what your priorities are.

My honest opinion? If you definitely want a family, harsh as it is, the sooner the better once you're in your mid-30s. If I was set on having children there's no way I'd delay it longer than necessary. And 9 months or so is plenty of time to plan a wedding for most people (the only thing that might be a problem here if you have your heart set on one particular popular venue on a popular date - otherwise it should be fine).

If having more time to relax and plan is important to you, and you're willing to just see what happens as regards kids, then it's fine to postpone it.

 

[lynn706]

Thanks everyone...I guess I will take this month to really try and decide. I am leaning towards fall again and I don''t want a huge wedding so it should be enough time to plan I think. My main concern was budget and rushing once we got done buying a house.

 

[pinki]

We got engaged a year ago February and I wanted a fall wedding, but didn''t think 8 months was enough time to plan so I suggested the fall of 2010. My Fiance thought that was too far because he''ll be 34, I''ll be 29 and we wanted to get started on our family sooner than later. We settled on June 2010 based on this...my best friend got engaged, married and pregnant in 4 months, so you can always adjust your schedule based on your personal wants and needs!

 

[shertz1981]

I am going be in the minority here, but my thought was: "Too much time to plan makes Shertz go crazy." So we decided to do it 10 months after getting engaged.

 

[yssie]

Date: 1/6/2010 10:27:52 AM
Author:lynn706
Hi everyone!

I am new here. I just discovered this forum after we bought my engagement ring. It has been incredibly helpful since then.

I just got engaged over new years after being with my bf almost 4 years. I am 34 years old and part of me is ready to get on with getting married so we can start focusing on having a family but the other part of me wants to take my time and enjoy it and plan my wedding for next spring. I am torn between fall and spring for a wedding because I don't think I want a winter wedding. Obviously I have some time to think about this but did anyone else in my age range let this be a factor? My fiance is a little younger than me and I think he prefers spring but he will go with whatever I choose.

I want the time to plan and enjoy being engaged but I don't want to wait too long to try and start a family. My fiance and I are planning to buy a new house and move in together in the next couple of months and we want to focus on that first but once we are in there I wonder if I really need all that time to plan until next spring? Any tips for figuring this out?

Thanks!!

Haha people really are different sometimes - I've always dreamed of a winter wedding

. It didn't work out that way, but oh well.

I do agree that you don't need that much time to plan a wedding unless you know you'll be running into venue issues - and then, I'd consider compromising on that venue, because I really think starting your family needs to be the priority here, for health reasons - that's far more important, and lasting, than the locale and time of year in which you wed.

 

[wannaBMrsH]

I was in the same predicament, agewise.

FI proposed while I was 30, I turned 31 a month later and I honestly didn''t want to wait past my 32nd birthday to plan my wedding.

We planned it in 9 months and it worked out very well. For me, it had nothing to do with starting a family (I don''t want kids) and everything to do with marrying my best friend, lover, etc. KWIM?

I think if we had waited any longer, I might have driven myself insane!

 

[LtlFirecracker]

I think if I was in my mid 20''s I would have had a 15-18 month engagement and had a spring wedding

But I am 30 and just got engaged. I want to have the wedding of my dreams, but don''t want that long engagement anymore. Part of me does not want to put almost 2 years of my life planning a wedding and part of me wants to me married so I can at least start thinking of kids.

So I am doing a 9.5 month engagement.

In my case, age did affect my engagement period.

The two of you need to figure out what is best. I don''t think waiting one more year to start a family is going to make a huge difference in the grand scheme of things. Especially if there is stuff you want to do first to get settled. I think sitting down with your FI and figuring setting some mutual goals over the next couple years would help you set the wedding timeline.

 

[lynn706]

Thanks again everyone! My initial goal was a late fall wedding but then I talked in depth with my sister in law (who is in her mid twenties) and got convinced that spring was the way to go...all my family and fiance seemed to agree so then I was torn. I think I still want the fall wedding because of the age issue and I would like to be married sooner rather than later. My only hesitation at this point is that we are buying a house in the next couple of months and I am afraid that it might be hard financially to plan everything and pay for a honeymoon in that time period after spending so much on a house. I hate to start planning on fall and then have a financial hold up. So I guess I am still torn but leaning towards fall. I am going to take this month to think about it and then make a decision.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Date: 1/7/2010 9:11:53 AM
Author: lynn706
My only hesitation at this point is that we are buying a house in the next couple of months and I am afraid that it might be hard financially to plan everything and pay for a honeymoon in that time period after spending so much on a house.

Do you have to go on a honeymoon right away? I know we are waiting til we have some money saved up and it will be 6 months after the wedding

 

[LtlFirecracker]

I think we are going to have a short "honeymoon" and than go to Italy 6 months later. When I say short, I mean a 3-4 day low budget trip. We can''t afford both the wedding and the big trip at the same time. Plus, getting enough time off to do both would be hard.

I can tell you, I am putting a lot of deposits down right now. I could not image trying to buy a house and plan a wedding at the same time.