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Trash the Dress

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sillyberry

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In this week's Washington Post Magazine, they had an article on TTD (didn't see it posted - my apologies if I missed it!). To think, I hadn't heard of this phenomenon until I stumbled on this forum!

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/08/31/AR2009083101836.html

They also held an online discussion: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/discussion/2009/09/03/DI2009090303036.html

ETA: I'm just now reading the online discussion, and some people responded negatively to TTD. But I think it's awesome!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Take 2
They found the perfect dress. They had the perfect ceremony. Now they don the dress again -- and get a little dirty for the sake of art.

By Ellen McCarthy
Sunday, September 6, 2009

ON A RADIANT JULY DAY, Michelle Coates had her hair and makeup done by a stylist, slipped into her designer wedding gown, drove out to the country and submerged herself in the frigid waters of the Shenandoah River. Actually, the early-evening dip came only after Coates had walked through a sunflower patch, lain down on a railroad track, peered through the window of a rusty old Chevrolet truck, pulled crickets out from the tulle of her skirt, hopped on top of a hay barrel, and maneuvered through the mold and cobwebs of an abandoned gas station.

What she never did that day was say, "I do."

That had happened a month earlier, in Las Vegas, when the bride pledged her life to Damion Coates, her boyfriend of three years, posed for traditional photos and kept her $2,000 Maggie Sottero gown immaculate through dinner and late-night dancing. At the river, however, she was all dolled up for one of the newest trends to emerge from America's wedding obsession: the Trash the Dress session.

It is and isn't what the name implies. The ultimate goal of a Trash the Dress shoot is art: to produce striking photos of a woman in a symbolic white dress in a setting in which she would never normally be found -- a gritty alley, perhaps, or a dark coal mine. She is often alone, but is sometimes shot with her husband, and it's rare that the gowns are fully destroyed, though the most honest brides say there is something cathartic about getting a little messy after so many months of fixating on perfection.

"I'm more about the experience and the memories that we'll have forever than just having a dress in a box," explains Coates, a 30-year-old Veterans Affairs employee from Woodbridge whose dress really did take a beating during a four-hour shoot that spanned eight locations that photographer Allison Britton had scouted.

"The whole bottom half is light brown -- it's not good," Coates admits. But despite the risk that her gown would be damaged, she had hired Britton after seeing the results of other Trash the Dress sessions the photographer had shot with local brides. "I thought it was so awesome. You're a regular girl, and you can kind of be a model for the day. It makes you feel different."

Damion, on the other hand, was a little leery. After looking at some Trash the Dress Web sites, "I was like, 'Oh, yeah, that's kind of cool, but would you really want to trash your dress?' And we went back and forth." Eventually he got on board. "I was like, 'Well, I guess you're never really gonna wear it again, so if you want to ... '" For him there was a bonus: "I got to see her in her wedding dress again, which I liked a lot."

Trash the Dress gives brides One More Day. One more day with eyes on them, in the dress they may have dreamed of for years and are often just a little bit loath to let go of once the big day is done.

But this is as much about the photographers as it is about the brides. The trend was started by John Michael Cooper, a Las Vegas wedding photographer who was sick of the standard routine. Okay, now the couple with Grandma Jane. Now the couple with Grandma Ethel. Like many who end up in the business, this was wasn't his original plan. He wanted to shoot old Hollywood-style portraits that reflect his personal aesthetic -- moody, a little dark, verging on spooky.

When a fire burned a thicket of mesquite trees at a nature preserve near Las Vegas in 2000, creating a "wicked little forest," Cooper's reaction was immediate: "I want to do a bridal session there." The recent brides he'd worked with declined his offer to be shot sitting in black ash, so Cooper bought a wedding dress from eBay, asked a friend to wear it and headed into the forest.

He coined the phrase "Trash the Dress" in a 2006 article about the work, though some photographers now disdain the term and have adopted the more affirmative "Rock the Dress" when pitching the idea to clients -- and hoping to add another day's work to the bottom line.

As the phenomenon has spread, photographers have broadened the approach to include almost any shoot that breaks a bride and groom out of the typical wedding context. Often the itineraries are designed to reflect some aspect of the couple's story or interests: scuba divers in the water, nature lovers on the path they walk with their dogs.

And in the process, photographers find themselves unshackled from wedding day constraints. "I get to have creative insight for once," says Britton. "And there's no time limitations."

Still, photographers say most of their brides balk at the mention, and explanation, of a Trash the Dress shoot. It takes a certain kind of bride to try it, one who's a little artistic or rebellious or a bit of an exhibitionist.

As for Michelle Coates, she's still soaring from the thrill of her big days -- both of them -- and waiting to see what the dry cleaner can do about her light-brown dress.

Ellen McCarthy is a staff writer for The Post's Style section. She can be reached at [email protected].
 

trillionaire

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cool post!

I love TTD session photos, but I had no clue that they were very controversial.

I can understand people feeling that ''ruining'' a dress was wasteful, but most dresses disappear into people''s closets and never get re-worn, so...

I can''t wait to trash my own dress!
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TripleG

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I had never in my life heard about this until MrsH posted her photos of TTD day. I think its great, and as the article says it doesnt mean you are trashing a dress, just doing poses you wouldnt otherwise dare to do. My favorite was the one of her in the ocean. you would never think of doing this prior to the wedding, but once the event is over you can get some incredible amazing shots.
 

sillyberry

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BTW - the story has a photo gallery of shots referenced in the article.

Photo Gallery
 

charbie

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that''s it. i''m doing a TTD.
 

dani2142

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I''m trashing my dress for sure!!!! :0)
 

vc10um

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I''m not even engaged yet, but I have a photographer already lined up to do a TTD, lol. (Ladyciel and Rachie''s photographer for those who watch the boards.) I plan on climbing trees and getting in a fountain in mine, and I can''t wait!
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(Now to get through steps 2-4: Get engaged, Get the Dress, and Get Married! LOL. Already accomplished Step 1: Find the Guy!)
 

rhbgirl24

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I''ve always thought this was neat. I''ve had my TTD shoot booked for a year. We are doing it on our honeymoon in Lake Tahoe. So I plan to go hiking, the meadow, and in the lake. Will post pics! :)
 

cleokizzy

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i would love to have a TTD session but i don''t think i have the strength to dirty my wedding gown! might end up buying a cheap gown to use instead...
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MagsyMay

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I love the idea and think the pictures always turn out so creative and carefree! I don''t have my dress yet, but once I do, I hope I still feel the same because I''d love to do it! Sure beats the thing sitting in a box under my bed for the rest of my life!
 

blackbetty

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I would love to do them, but not as much as I''d like to sell my dress!
 

mimzy

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at the risk of sounded snotty, i think that TTD sessions are really wasteful for the sake self indulgence. of course it''s a bride''s prerogative to do with a dress as she pleases, but if a person has no sentimental attachment to a dress, there are SO MANY women out there that are unable to afford the beautiful gowns that we are, and it''s a great opportunity to be able to help those less fortunate. Sure, it''s a ton of fun to get dolled up and get artsy pictures taken, but do we really need MORE pictures of ourselves? The vanity just seems to be getting a little out of hand, and at the expense somebody else benefiting from the dress secondhand.

There are some TTD sessions that are done where the dress is not totally trashed, where a gentle cleaning will take care of any mess that results from the session....i beg anyone that opts to do a TTD session to go this route and donate the dress afterwards. You''d still be able to have a fun, relaxed session in the dress of your dreams. I mean, what are you *really* missing out on by not totally trashing it? I mean no disrespect to those that have trashed their dress, I just want to throw another perspective out there for those that are considering it in the future.
 

lulu

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Why not donate the dress and make another woman very happy? Especially in this economy.
 

OUpearlgirl

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Well with that, can't you argue that anyone selling the dress is being indulgent and should just donate it? What about someone who has theirs preserved.. Maybe never to see the light of day again? And aren't weddings in general a waste of money for one day? At what point does it cross the line into being indulgent??

I can't be judgemental about what another woman does with her dress. She did pay for it after all.. Why not take some great photos?
 

LadyBlue

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Date: 9/10/2009 11:30:53 PM
Author: OUpeargirl
Well with that, can''t you argue that anyone selling the dress is being indulgent and should just donate it? What about someone who has theirs preserved.. Maybe never to see the light of day again? And aren''t weddings in general a waste of money for one day? At what point does it cross the line into being indulgent??


I can''t be judgemental about what another woman does with her dress. She did pay for it after all.. Why not take some great photos?

I agree with you, some people spend $$$$ in flowers that will die in a couple days, you could call it a waste of money but it''s their choice how to spend their money.

I have my dress in my closet and I wouldn''t feel comfortable thashing the dress for some pictures. But I love the whole idea of TD, and if when I got married the pics were popular, I would had bought a cheap dress to trash it.

If you want to help other people, there is always a way to help people in needs.
 

vc10um

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Date: 9/11/2009 9:42:54 AM
Author: gaby06

Date: 9/10/2009 11:30:53 PM
Author: OUpeargirl
Well with that, can''t you argue that anyone selling the dress is being indulgent and should just donate it? What about someone who has theirs preserved.. Maybe never to see the light of day again? And aren''t weddings in general a waste of money for one day? At what point does it cross the line into being indulgent??


I can''t be judgemental about what another woman does with her dress. She did pay for it after all.. Why not take some great photos?

I agree with you, some people spend $$$$ in flowers that will die in a couple days, you could call it a waste of money but it''s their choice how to spend their money.

I have my dress in my closet and I wouldn''t feel comfortable thashing the dress for some pictures. But I love the whole idea of TD, and if when I got married the pics were popular, I would had bought a cheap dress to trash it.

If you want to help other people, there is always a way to help people in needs.
Ditto to both of you. I don''t think I could have said it better myself.

And on another note...I don''t think that women who do a TTD session have no emotional or sentimental attachment to their dresses--they may have an even GREATER attachment, in fact, because they want even MORE pictures of them wearing it, and they want interesting pictures of them in it and that make the dress look even more beautiful.

Also, you can do a TTD without destroying the dress...and you can destroy the dress without doing a TTD! I''ve seen women choose to wear cathedral trains in garden weddings--those dresses aren''t rewearable, reusable, or donatable after just the ceremony, let alone a TTD.
 

katomm

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OMG I''m totally going to do a TTD session!!!! I know just the friend to do it too, she''s a photographer by hobby and I know she''ll love the practice. BF is going to love this!
 

princesss

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Date: 9/10/2009 11:30:53 PM
Author: OUpeargirl
Well with that, can''t you argue that anyone selling the dress is being indulgent and should just donate it? What about someone who has theirs preserved.. Maybe never to see the light of day again? And aren''t weddings in general a waste of money for one day? At what point does it cross the line into being indulgent??

I can''t be judgemental about what another woman does with her dress. She did pay for it after all.. Why not take some great photos?
Yup. You can make that argument about basically anything in the modern American wedding. Engagement pictures? Pure vanity. Real flowers? Wasteful! Showers? Pure greed. Videographer? Again with the vanity!

Honestly, I''m cool with a couple doing whatever is right for them, and for every bride to get as much use out of her dress as possible. TTD sessions strike me as a little less wasteful, actually, because at least the dress is getting worn more than just once! And yeah, if you want to donate it after you''re done, great. If you want to sell it, awesome. If you want to clean it and lock it in a box forever, good on you.
 

wannaBMrsH

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Date: 9/10/2009 11:30:53 PM
Author: OUpeargirl
Well with that, can't you argue that anyone selling the dress is being indulgent and should just donate it? What about someone who has theirs preserved.. Maybe never to see the light of day again? And aren't weddings in general a waste of money for one day? At what point does it cross the line into being indulgent??

I can't be judgemental about what another woman does with her dress. She did pay for it after all.. Why not take some great photos?
I agree 100%

Every wedding I've been to (and I've been to 5 this year alone, including my own) has had a bride and groom that CHOOSE what they spend their money on. Every bride and groom, regardless of budget, have had a beautiful wedding that was exactly what they planned.

For me personally, when FI said I could only choose two things to splurge on, I choose photography and my shoes. Vain? Indulgent? Absolutely!

I bought a $150 dress so that I didn't go over my $1500 dress/accessories budget once the alterations came in. It cost me $30 in extra luggage costs to take the dress to my wedding and it would have been another $30 to bring it back...I wanted as many photos as I could with my dress because I was NOT going to pay $60 in excess luggage fees when the thing only cost me $150 to begin with!

So yes, my husband deposited my soaking wet dress in the nearest trashcan after the photo session. And because I AM a vain and self indulgent baby, I don't like most of the photos of my actual wedding day (separate thread), but I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the photos from my Trash the Dress session! I already started working on an album from those pics and I already choose the ones that will be displayed in my home and the ones we are giving our parents as gifts.
 

mimzy

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wannabemrsh, i'm really happy that you ended up with at least some pictures of you in your wedding dress that you like, every woman deserves that. and like i said, i absolutely meant no disrespect to anyone that has done these or plans to. i saw your pictures and they were indeed beautiful. and you're right, everybody has their splurges.

OUpeargirl, even selling a dress is letting someone else benefit from having a dress that they would not have otherwise been able to afford. when I sold mine I got at least a dozen emails from girls saying "OMG i can't believe i found this dress! it's my dream dress but was way out of my budget!" and I personally make the distinction between hanging onto something for sentimental reasons (getting it preserved - which i totally understand why people do, even though i did not myself) and just not caring about hanging onto it, and i think that most people would as well.

gaby, i'm not sure what you think people are calling a waste of money. we were just pointing out that the potential is there to help someone else out.

shrug. just different mindsets.
 

iheartscience

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Maybe I''m selfish, but I don''t really think it''s my responsibility to sell/donate my dress so someone else can get the wedding dress of their dreams. That''s great that you wanted to sell your dress, mimzy, but I plan to keep my dress forever. I''m not planning on doing a TTD session but if someone else wants to, good for them! Let''s be real-weddings are a giant, self-indulgent, money pit. None of us needs a day that costs tens of thousands of dollars, and donating or selling your dress isn''t going to change that.
 

lulu

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Damn, I did it again. I stumbled and fell into that generational crevasse. I forgot, it''s all about me. Me,me,me! More pictures of me please! Let them eat cake!
 

LadyBlue

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Date: 9/11/2009 11:14:32 PM
Author: mimzy
wannabemrsh, i''m really happy that you ended up with at least some pictures of you in your wedding dress that you like, every woman deserves that. and like i said, i absolutely meant no disrespect to anyone that has done these or plans to. i saw your pictures and they were indeed beautiful. and you''re right, everybody has their splurges.


OUpeargirl, even selling a dress is letting someone else benefit from having a dress that they would not have otherwise been able to afford. when I sold mine I got at least a dozen emails from girls saying ''OMG i can''t believe i found this dress! it''s my dream dress but was way out of my budget!'' and I personally make the distinction between hanging onto something for sentimental reasons (getting it preserved - which i totally understand why people do, even though i did not myself) and just not caring about hanging onto it, and i think that most people would as well.


gaby, i''m not sure what you think people are calling a waste of money. we were just pointing out that the potential is there to help someone else out.


shrug. just different mindsets.

Hi Mimzy, What I was trying to transmit is that we have the potential to help someone else mostly every day in so many different ways. If a Bride decide to keep, trash, donate or sell her dress is her decision. You said: "I think that TTD sessions are really wasteful for the sake self indulgence". I think life is full of decisions were we spend a lot of money just for the sake self indulgence. We spend a lot of money in expensive hang bags, shoes, fancy dinners, flowers, and wedding dresses, while we could be expending that money in a more useful way.

But it''s a personal decision what to do with our time, money and goods. Maybe the same women that decide to trash a wedding dress is the sameone that helps few hours in a community activity for free. As well as a women that donate a wedding dress could be not willing to spend quality time taking care of sick grand father.

I just think as a humans we are willing to help in different ways, and I respect that decisions.
 

gwendolyn

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Date: 9/12/2009 10:16:13 AM
Author: lulu
Damn, I did it again. I stumbled and fell into that generational crevasse. I forgot, it's all about me. Me,me,me! More pictures of me please! Let them eat cake!
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Is it just me, or has PS been feeling more judgmental lately?
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If people want to donate, great. If they want to preserve and pass it down the family or just hold onto it as a keepsake, great. If they want to sell, great. If they want to do a TTD session, great. It's a bride's individual choice, and it's her dress to do with what she likes, same as any other belonging.
 

lulu

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Mr. photographer--watch me! I''m going to hang from the trapeze and then we''ll set my dress on fire. It''ll be so cool!
 

iheartscience

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Date: 9/12/2009 10:49:23 AM
Author: lulu
Mr. photographer--watch me! I''m going to hang from the trapeze and then we''ll set my dress on fire. It''ll be so cool!

Okay this made me laugh out loud for real!
 

mimzy

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thing2, i mentioned before that i make a distinction between people who want to hang on to their dress forever for sentimental reasons and those who trash their dress (as do i think most people do)....i totally understand and respect those that hang onto them, and i don''t think that everyone in the world has the responsibility to donate or sell their dress. all i''m saying is that if someone does care what happens to their dress after they wear it (i.e. if it gets trashed) then there is something else they could do with it.


i''m not trying to be judgmental gwen, and i said that i meant no disrespect - i''m offering another viewpoint and an opinion, which there are other people out there that agree with me. i''m just trying voice the other side of TTD, which is okay, right?

gaby, what i meant by self indulgence wasn''t flowers and handbags, i meant vanity. do we all do things out of vanity? of course - and we all have different comfort levels with that.

lulu, i''m with you on this! haha

whatever, live and let live. i guess coming from a family that took handouts growing up is coloring my opinion on this. i''m out!
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LaurenThePartier

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Although I love the concept of TTDs, I actually agree with the concept of donating, or even lending a wedding gown for others to use. Besides, just because you do a TTD, doesn''t mean the dress is unwearable again. I thought I''d be incredibly selfish and tied to my dress, but I found after some time, that it''s just a dress. I kept my original gown, which was an Ebay purchase anyway, but have lent it to a friend to get married in. That was pretty cool, actually. We were lucky that we were the same size, and the only alteration it needed was for her to wear short shoes.
1.gif


I chose to do a TTD session because I had a typical Vegas elopement with the typical talentless and soulless Vegas photographer. I could have had an uncle take better pics, and in fact, one of the best pics from our wedding came from my Father In Law. I have one, yes ONE pic from my wedding day that I love - the rest, well . . . they''re meh.

I bought a second cheap dress that I knew would make it through some underwater pictures, and after a cleaning (surprising that it came out as clean as it did), I donated my dress to a friend who was collecting gowns for a local event.

Can you believe after doing this:

original.aspx


that this dress was wearable again????
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dani2142

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wow.. this thread has really blown up the last couple of days it seems. i dunno for my i''m doing a destination wedding and getting married in jamaica. our ceremony is at 10 a.m. and will last for maybe 20 minutes max. we are doing our trash the dress session pretty close to after that is over. we aren''t doing an evening reception on the resort because fiance'' and i wanted to have a private dinner on the beach. so we are doing appetizers and drinks for an hour or so after our ceremony. i''ll probably be in my dress for 3 hours at the most. when i say trash the dress it just means rolling around in the sand and swimming in the ocean. it doesn''t mean literally trashing it. i''ll have it cleaned and probably donate it.

everyone on here has different opinions on what to spent their money on. so people aren''t always going to agree on stuff. we opted for a destination wedding because we couldn''t see spending a crap load of money on a big wedding. it''s just not for us. but you all might not agree with that and that''s fine. i dunno.... regardless i''m still going to have an awesome time trashing my dress biatches!!!!! lol :)
 

Deelight

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Date: 9/12/2009 8:03:09 PM
Author: LaurenThePartier
Although I love the concept of TTDs, I actually agree with the concept of donating, or even lending a wedding gown for others to use. Besides, just because you do a TTD, doesn''t mean the dress is unwearable again. I thought I''d be incredibly selfish and tied to my dress, but I found after some time, that it''s just a dress. I kept my original gown, which was an Ebay purchase anyway, but have lent it to a friend to get married in. That was pretty cool, actually. We were lucky that we were the same size, and the only alteration it needed was for her to wear short shoes.
1.gif



I chose to do a TTD session because I had a typical Vegas elopement with the typical talentless and soulless Vegas photographer. I could have had an uncle take better pics, and in fact, one of the best pics from our wedding came from my Father In Law. I have one, yes ONE pic from my wedding day that I love - the rest, well . . . they''re meh.


I bought a second cheap dress that I knew would make it through some underwater pictures, and after a cleaning (surprising that it came out as clean as it did), I donated my dress to a friend who was collecting gowns for a local event.


Can you believe after doing this:


original.aspx



that this dress was wearable again????
9.gif

Funnily enough when I first read this thread the first thing I thought of was you and this amazing shot :)


Each to their own really whatever makes you happy is important if donating your dress makes you feel great then do it if trashing it does then thats okay to :).
 
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