Asking parent''s permission...advice needed

[GTjacket02]

So, I''ve got the ring and I''ve got the engagement all planned out...but I have a couple of questions about asking the parents.

Her family lives in Miami (I''m in Atlanta) so I''ll be flying down there a couple weeks before the proposal to get their blessing. I was thinking I''d take her mom, brother and sister out to dinner and ask them there. She''s not very close to her dad but he lives in NYC.


How should I handle asking/inviting her dad? Should I just let him know what''s going on and leave it up to him? Should I offer to fly him down?
When I arrange this should I tell everyone what''s going on or should I just get her brother to arrange a dinner and then I''ll show up and ask?
No idea if I should take the ring to show them or not?

Advice Please!! Thanks

 

[Akatsuki]

So i just went two weeks ago to see my GFs parents to ask for persmission.. actually shoul say fiance now...


I flew to see her parents (out of state) and didn't tell them until I was about 40 mins away from their house. I wanted to take them by surpise and offer them little time to over think things (muahahah) I just called and said i was in the area on a business trip and wanted to drop something off. I brought them a bottle of wine and actually sat them down and said i was actually up there for something else, and asked them if I could have their daughters hand in marriage. And it worked they gave me their blessing


As far as your story is concerned. If she is not close to her father, I think a phone call should suffice. If she is close to her mother, I think you should have a sit down with her. I would bring the engagement ring, just so that you'll have something to talk about during dinner and they can gawk at something. I know once i broke out the ring with my fiance's parents they were super ecstatic. Hopefully everything goes smoothly! Prayers are with you brother!

 

[sruzhyo]

Hey GT,

I just had that talk a few weeks ago, it got my heart rate up, that''s for sure

Couple questions for you.

Do you have any kind of relationship with her mom? Do you guys talk often? Why is it you''re wanting to involve her brother and sister? Are they much older and parent-like figures? Or is it just a courtesy thing?

If she isn''t too close to her dad, I''m with Akatsuki, a phone call should suffice.

With her mom/siblings, a dinner out would be great. If you don''t already have some kind of relationship with them, then maybe some coffee in the afternoon may be easier (to limit awkward time), but otherwise dinner''s good. The ring? Take it I think they''ll appreciate that you''re serious and of course would love to see it before your FF does.

When I had the talk, I talked a little about the path which had lead us to where we were, how we felt about each other, mentioned the things we''d talked about in terms of planning for the future (understanding there''s rough times and knowing how to deal with them etc etc), and so telling the parental units up front that we''ve already covered all the tough stuff helped out to ease their minds, I think.

Does your FF know the plan at all?

GL with the entire thing!!!

Steve

 

[juiceman311]

GT Jackets - I too am an alum and a rambling wreck from Georgia Tech and a helluva engineer (and now a little more than an engineer). And I too am going this weekend to ask my lady''s dad for his blessing. Best of luck to you man.