What do the married ladies think?

[Diamond Confused]

Can you provide input as to what you think you should have done differently and what would have made planning easier?

 

[vintagelover229]

I didn''t mind planning because I started so early. I had almost 2 years to find, save, pay for, and buy things. So that way I could search for the best deal on something, snatch up steals on eBay, and make payments on things. When the wedding day rolled around, I had paid for EVERYTHING but the 3k for the reception. That''s the DJ, dress, alterations, make up, cake, EVERYTHING. My husband was very pleased and only had to pay for that, which we ended up getting at least that in wedding gifts. I also am now selling wedding things, which I have recouped almost 700.00 in costs back from. It saved a TON of stress doing it over a long period of time and slowly gathering items I wanted/needed.

Hope this helps!

 

[KimberlyH]

I really enjoyed planning our wedding. Here were some of my things I would do again:

1. If it wouldn''t matter in a year it didn''t matter. I only had one frustrating moment during all of wedding planning (and it involved my elderly mother-in-law, who was at 88 at the time and had Alzheimer''s, broke her back and had surgery 3 weeks before the wedding; we had to hire a nurse to check her out of the hospital to bring her to the wedding). My rule-of-thumb really kept things in perspective.

2. Along the same lines as #1, we chose a few things that REALLY mattered (excellent food, good entertainment, my dress) and focused on those. We had no real theme, colors, etc. because those things simply weren''t important to us, but those things that we focused on made our wedding day wonderful.

3. Give people who want to be involved tasks to do based on what you choose to let go of. My mom was all about invitations; I didn''t care what they looked like so I had her pick them. My dad wanted more flowers at the ceremony site, he got them. They felt involved, and we got what we really wanted.

4. Remember that it''s not about things being perfect, it''s about you committing your lives to one another, that''s what really matters. Whether or not your bridesmaids can attend every shower, or your groomsmen decide to wear ugly socks isn''t going to change the outcome of the day, but your attitude about it all can and will.

What I would have done differently:

1. I would have invited my closest friends. We had a VERY small wedding (26 guests, including the nurse) and my family outnumbered my husbands'' guests 2:1. I wish I had invited my friends anyways.

 

[zipzapgirl]

The best piece of advice I got about wedding planning is "Don''t second-guess yourself". As in, get the information, make the decision, and don''t keep revisiting your choices. You see that a lot on this forum and some people can really let it torment them.

Some more advice:

--- Generally I think guests care about a few things (food, music, drinks) and could care less about all of the things those bridal books insist are so important (having a "vision", favors, bathroom baskets, etc).

--- Wedding bring out the best and worst in people. They tap into all of those emotions we have about friends, family, and love and they often bring out overreactions on everyone''s part. When people are being at their worst, keep your calm, hold firm on things that are important, try to understand, and don''t take it personally. In our case, as difficult as some people were in the planning process, they all came through and we had a great time for the wedding.

--- EVERY wedding or the lead up to it has some sort of drama.

--- Lesson learned from this forum: Probably best not to send out emails to the bridal party if they aren''t stepping up to the plate. This seems to have backfired more often than not

--- Even if you are engaged for a year or more, you will feel overwhelmed at the very beginning, 3-4 months out, and 2-3 weeks before. That''s when certain things have to be done and everyone feels like their head is going to explode. Don''t worry, that''s normal.

 

[diamondringlover]

Mine was 25 years ago and I think the one major thing I would have changed was having a triple wedding, me and both my sisters got married on the same day, at the time it seemed like fun, but then I realized that the day wasnt just about me and my husband as it should be and I sort of regret doing that, other then that I dont think I would have changed much.

 

[Gypsy]

Here are the most important things I learned.


These are the things I did right:

My Day of Coordinator was worth her weight in gold. I get ONE day as a bride and the last thing I want to worry about is if the DJ has enough outlets, or if the cake stand is wrong. You are the bride. Not the ring master at a circus. Remember that. Hire a ring master.

Once you get to the day. Just let GO. Seriously. If the flowers are the wrong color. If your MIL is wearing a white wedding-like gown, if your ushers turn up in jeans. Just let it go.

Hire the best vendors in terms of personality you can. People who LOVE weddings and want to make this magical for you. Skill is great, and talent is important... and you should DEFINITELY have both of those... but the extra mile is the enthusiasm and positive energy make a world of difference.

Do make sure you tell all the people who helped you that you love them, and that you appreciate it all.

Do not treat your vendors like servants. Treat them like professionals who are VITAL to making your day happen perfectly.

Make sure you've thought of your guests comfort, if it's going to be hot and you are outdoors provide parasols, fans, and water. They will notice and appreciate it.


Things I didn't do but wish I had done:

Just let some things go. Taken it easier and just been less of a control freak. If I could have afforded it, I would have hired my DOC for the three months before and not made myself sick with stress those last months.

 

[brooklyngirl]

The most important lesson I learned from my wedding is to stand my ground when the people around me throw tantrums, and when they bug me about the same stupid thing everyday. The only person who will regret it is ME.