Is anyone following the Chris Brown/Rihanna Case?

[JulieN]

Date: 2/28/2009 9:55:44 PM
Author: thing2of2

Date: 2/28/2009 7:57:36 PM

Author: JulieN

what does her career have to do with her getting back with Brown?


Jay-Z has already said Brown is a walking dead man.

I would imagine that people will think less of her for getting back together with the man who abused her. I know I sure do. That can''t be good for her career, can it?

yeah, I think some people might think less of her, but I don''t think it will have an effect on her career. She''s Rockafella''s princess.

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 2/28/2009 10:01:24 PM
Author: JulieN

Date: 2/28/2009 9:55:44 PM

Author: thing2of2

Date: 2/28/2009 7:57:36 PM

Author: JulieN

what does her career have to do with her getting back with Brown?

Jay-Z has already said Brown is a walking dead man.

I would imagine that people will think less of her for getting back together with the man who abused her. I know I sure do. That can''t be good for her career, can it?

yeah, I think some people might think less of her, but I don''t think it will have an effect on her career. She''s Rockafella''s princess.

True...I wonder what Jay-Z thinks about her getting back with Chris Brown? I bet he''s not too happy.

 

[mommy2iz]

you don''t think it''s private? do you mean "keeping it private" after it happens, as in not telling or reporting it?
i don''t know of one single woman/victim who runs around telling everyone what happened. years later, i still feel the humiliation, and hesitate before sharing...i agree that this mentality has negative consequences, and that it''d benefit many to erase the stigma attached to the issue. it''s just not reality. even when you know it''s not your fault, the shame is intense and often quite detrimental.
i think it''s very private. it''s an invasion of personal space. in your own home. by a trusted, sometimes intimate, partner/companion/SO/Spouse(whatever you want to call it). all of those things make it feel very private to me. again, part of the cycle.
i can see how rhianna''s lifestyle may have benefits in terms of facilitating leaving, as you said, but this has far more variables than just obtaining a new place to live/job/income, etc. the psychological ramifications of leaving are much more difficult to overcome,IMO.

 

[HollyS]

Date: 2/28/2009 7:07:48 PM
Author: mommy2iz
she''s ''whacked for taking him back?'' I find that statement harsh. she''s part of a cycle of abuse, and she has likely decided to return to a situation that is familiar to her. it''s their normal, good or bad to outsider''s. we''re creatures of habit...it''s what they''re used to. it''s much easier for someone who has never experienced this to make quick judgements as to what she (or he) should or should not do.
statistics say a woman tries to leave an average of 7 times before actually doing it. there are many reasons involved; i just pray that they both realize how volatile their relationship is, and either take immediate steps to resolve the basis for the choices they''re making or part amicably before it''s too late.

That''s truly ridiculous. She is 21, single, not married to him, does not have children with him, can easily live her life without these antics, and does not have to return to a relationship with a man who would -- for any reason, because no reason is good enough -- beat her.

Being comfortable? Being normal? She needs immediate help understanding why she thinks so liitle of herself that she would willfully choose this man, instead of literally kicking his butt to the curb.

If you need clarification on this issue, just as San Diego Lady. Read some of her posts about her abusive ex. Or Monarch''s. And I apologize to those ladies for bringing them into this debate; but I think their stories are important in telling the real tale of abuse, and why leaving is the only response.

 

[decodelighted]

I''m very disappointed with her decision to get back together with him ... mostly because of the message it sends to *all her many young, impressionable fans*. Even BEFORE the reunion there were reports of teens coming to school with bruises telling people they''d been beaten up by their boyfriends ... as if it was a badge of honor! Can only imagine how this turn of events in effect glamorizes violence.

 

[luckystar112]

There is more to the story than we know. That''s my assumption based on the fact that right now they are at one of P Diddy''s houses off the coast of Florida and Rihanna is being chaperoned by one of Jay-Z''s bodyguards. It''s my opinion that they wouldn''t let Chris anywhere near her if this was truly domestic abuse in the sense that we know it. Of course, the picture has a thousand words....but I can''t drop the feeling that she hit him too. I''m waiting to hear more of the story and find out if they go to counseling together. Chris is already guilty in the court of public opinion.

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 3/1/2009 2:47:39 AM
Author: luckystar112
There is more to the story than we know. That''s my assumption based on the fact that right now they are at one of P Diddy''s houses off the coast of Florida and Rihanna is being chaperoned by one of Jay-Z''s bodyguards. It''s my opinion that they wouldn''t let Chris anywhere near her if this was truly domestic abuse in the sense that we know it. Of course, the picture has a thousand words....but I can''t drop the feeling that she hit him too. I''m waiting to hear more of the story and find out if they go to counseling together. Chris is already guilty in the court of public opinion.

Hitting a partner is domestic abuse in the sense that we know it. I''m not seeing how you think this could be classified any other way.

And even if she did hit him, it doesn''t make it okay for him to beat her ass.

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 3/1/2009 9:10:50 AM
Author: thing2of2

Date: 3/1/2009 2:47:39 AM
Author: luckystar112
There is more to the story than we know. That''s my assumption based on the fact that right now they are at one of P Diddy''s houses off the coast of Florida and Rihanna is being chaperoned by one of Jay-Z''s bodyguards. It''s my opinion that they wouldn''t let Chris anywhere near her if this was truly domestic abuse in the sense that we know it. Of course, the picture has a thousand words....but I can''t drop the feeling that she hit him too. I''m waiting to hear more of the story and find out if they go to counseling together. Chris is already guilty in the court of public opinion.

Hitting a partner is domestic abuse in the sense that we know it. I''m not seeing how you think this could be classified any other way.

And even if she did hit him, it doesn''t make it okay for him to beat her ass.

Exactly.

I could almost understand if she was completely beating him up and he felt that his only chance at stopping her from hitting him is to maybe push her off and throw her out of the car. But that''s not what occured (at least from what I''ve seen in her photos). Lets just assume she was hitting him, I don''t see how he could justify repeatedly hitting her in the face and biting.

I have my reasons for believing that she was hitting him in the car.

And, this is another assumption, Chris looks a lot stronger than Rihanna. If she went crazy on him, I honestly believe that he could have overpowered her enough to get her to stop without resorting to direct punches in the face.

 

[Tuckins1]

I feel so sad to see that they are back together. It is a part of the abusive relationship cycle. My last relationship before my hubby was abusive... Not so much physically, but mentally. Time and time again I saw myself taking part in this cycle- He was bad, bad, bad... We broke up... I swore I would never get back with him... Somehow I ended up back with him. Every time I KNEW I shouldn't be doing it, but I couldn't help myself. It's the curse of the co-dependent relationship. I can only hope that one day she wakes up, as I did, and says- Enough of this s%#t!!!!!!

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 3/1/2009 2:39:54 AM
Author: decodelighted
I''m very disappointed with her decision to get back together with him ... mostly because of the message it sends to *all her many young, impressionable fans*. Even BEFORE the reunion there were reports of teens coming to school with bruises telling people they''d been beaten up by their boyfriends ... as if it was a badge of honor! Can only imagine how this turn of events in effect glamorizes violence.

I have no words....

 

[tlh]

This entire thing is just sad.

 

[luckystar112]

Date: 3/1/2009 9:10:50 AM
Author: thing2of2

Date: 3/1/2009 2:47:39 AM
Author: luckystar112
There is more to the story than we know. That''s my assumption based on the fact that right now they are at one of P Diddy''s houses off the coast of Florida and Rihanna is being chaperoned by one of Jay-Z''s bodyguards. It''s my opinion that they wouldn''t let Chris anywhere near her if this was truly domestic abuse in the sense that we know it. Of course, the picture has a thousand words....but I can''t drop the feeling that she hit him too. I''m waiting to hear more of the story and find out if they go to counseling together. Chris is already guilty in the court of public opinion.

Hitting a partner is domestic abuse in the sense that we know it. I''m not seeing how you think this could be classified any other way.

And even if she did hit him, it doesn''t make it okay for him to beat her ass.

The general assumption is that the woman is always the victim. And "the sense that we know it" is what we see in movies about the woman doing nothing to provoke it nor fighting back in any way. Which is sometimes the case, but not always. I think Rihanna did fight back. I think she was pissed that Chris got a text message, she freaked out, threw his car keys, probably hit him...and he hit her. Or some other scenario. Maybe he shoved her first, she threw the keys, etc...etc.
We don''t know. But we do know that they both have violent pasts.
Was it wrong for him to hit her? YES! I don''t know where you got from my post that I think it''s okay for him to "beat her ass". But if it happened the way I think, then it was wrong for her to hit him as well. However, all we have to go on is a picture of Rihanna and a few blurbs from "sources". We haven''t seen a picture of Chris. And I doubt we will, since Chris is a man and society has taught them that being hit by a woman is shameful--which is why they don''t report it. Look at how the media treated David Gest, former husband of Liza Minelli. But there are estimates that as many as 40% of all MEN in relationship suffer some type of abuse by their wives/girlfriends. Being a girl doesn''t make her exempt from any fault, and last I checked the court of law agrees with me.
So I''m waiting to hear more about what happened, if we ever do. And I hope they both go to counseling together whether or not they are both at fault.

 

[iheartscience]

Yes, there are plenty of facts that indicate that men are also hit by their partners. However, men are very rarely seriously injured by their female partners. I don''t have the numbers in front of me (took a class on Marriage and Family last year) but the VAST majority of serious injuries and murders between intimate partners are inflicted upon women by men.

The bottom line is that Chris Brown didn''t have to go to the hospital, didn''t have his injuries photographed (if he even had any, and I doubt he did, or the media would be all over it) and the police are not making a case against Rihanna. I think it''s pretty dangerous territory to justify Chris Brown''s actions by betting Rihanna hit him, too. It sure sounds like you''re justifying him hitting and injuring her when you make arguments like that.

 

[luckystar112]

I''m not justifying it. Just playing Devil''s advocate. While Rihanna looked awful, she probably didn''t have to go to the hospital either...but someone called the cops, which I''m glad they did. There is no way to know the extent of injuries that men get (also taken from my marriage and family class from last semester!

I wonder if we used different texts?) because they typically go unreported due to the man feeling embarrassed or feeling like no one believes him. Men typically don''t go to the hospital or get pictures of their injuries, and they definitely don''t press charges because as men they are expected to be "tough". I guess, in GENERAL, it bothers me that Chris might get jail time for this and it is presumed that Rihanna is innocent. I feel like it''s a form of stereotyping. Again, I don''t think domestic violence is justifiable in any sense, whether she hit him or not. That alone makes me think that they should take some time to separate so that they can get the counseling they need.

 

[Elegant]

Now there are rumors he is pregnant with his kid...

 

[mommy2iz]

wow, hollys. i don''t have to ask anyone about it. i''ve lived it. your judgements and generalizations regarding what someone should or should not do are inappropriate IMO, and contribute to why more women don''t leave. these types of stereotypical attitudes prevail.
she is not crazy or whacked, though many victims feel as though they are. we doubt ourselves when we should not.
it''s doesn''t matter how much $$$ you have, where you live, how many people you have around you, which career you might be in, how many cars you drive,etc. domestic violence seeps through gender, socioeconomic, cultural, and age barriers. leaving is not as simple as walking out the door. if it were, we''d all do it and do it well.
for your clarification, i never said it''s a good thing that she went back. i just said i understood why she might. of course you should leave an abusive situation....i think others could benefit from understanding it''s much easier said than done.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

I think Rihanna is setting an unbelievably horrible example for her young fans who look up to her as a role model.

Rihanna is entitled to a personal life, of course. However, when you put yourself in the public eye, you assume a role of responsibility. To excuse domestic abuse by going back with an absuser is going to set the bar so low for young girls who are impressionable and looking to Rihanna with the question "what now?"

As we''ve seen, there are many woman on this site whom have been victims of domestic abuse...it''s a very real, very awful realization of life. And by forgiving Chris Brown Rihanna is more or less saying "it''s okay to take it"...and, it''s not.

 

[HollyS]

Date: 3/1/2009 6:39:23 PM
Author: mommy2iz
wow, hollys. i don''t have to ask anyone about it. i''ve lived it. your judgements and generalizations regarding what someone should or should not do are inappropriate IMO, and contribute to why more women don''t leave. these types of stereotypical attitudes prevail.
she is not crazy or whacked, though many victims feel as though they are. we doubt ourselves when we should not.
it''s doesn''t matter how much $$$ you have, where you live, how many people you have around you, which career you might be in, how many cars you drive,etc. domestic violence seeps through gender, socioeconomic, cultural, and age barriers. leaving is not as simple as walking out the door. if it were, we''d all do it and do it well.
for your clarification, i never said it''s a good thing that she went back. i just said i understood why she might. of course you should leave an abusive situation....i think others could benefit from understanding it''s much easier said than done.

Yes, for her, in her situation, it is as easy as walking out the door. She was already gone when she decided to rethink everything. She had no reason to stay in this relationship. She chose. She decided. No one, anywhere, is responsible for her decisions -- certainly not me with my ''stereotypical attitudes'' about domestic violence.

This kind of namby-pamby, wishy-washy view of right and wrong, good and bad, is WHY some women make lousy choices. She has tons of options, lots of people willing to help her, family around her, and she CHOSE to make the WRONG decision. Of course it''s easier said than done for the average woman. Rihanna is hardly the average domestic abuse victim. She could have, and should have, stood up for herself -- because she had every opportunity to do so. And you can''t compare that to the choices the average victim faces. You are arguing apples and oranges. And being judgmental about me for being judgmental about her; I''ll stand by my judgment -- harsh or not. She needs therapy, not sympathy.

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 3/1/2009 3:11:18 PM
Author: Elegant
Now there are rumors he is pregnant with his kid...

maybe that''s why she went back.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

My stance on this case is that something went terribly wrong in that car that night between Chris Brown and Rihanna. And, we may never know the whole truth but I firmly believe that the LAPD doesn''t waste its time and manpower investigating (to this extent) a "misunderstanding". I personally don''t care who threw the first punch...Chris should have never laid a hand on her regardless, he outweighs her by an easy 50 pounds and had multiple other ways to "restrain" her if need be. And if, lets say, this is an ongoing issue for them...and they are physically abusive with each other and Chris isn''t the only one to blame here...lets pretend for a moment they are both equally guilty...then all the more reason to end the relationship and seperate from each other now before things get worse. Sometimes two people can just be a toxic mess ... and they are better off alone than together. Even if the speculations are true, and she is pregnant...that only makes matters worse, he beat his pregnant girl...this doesn''t put him in the runnings of Man-Of-The-Year, ya know? She''d be better off by herself and as a single mother, than straddled with an abusive relationship.

Rihanna, in the police picture, was beaten horribly, those bruises were no misunderstanding . If any of us ever posted a picture like that of ourselves on this site under the title of "My BF/SO or Husband beat me up last night" there would be complete and utter outrage here, it is natural. The PR people can swoop in now and spin this story any which way they so choose...but, pictures don''t lie...and we can all clearly see that he beat on her pretty seriously.

Chris Brown, in my honest opinion, is behaving like a "typical" wife-beater. Showering her with gifts, attention and apologies. It may have been her birthday, but he was doing double duty in the gift department. I used to think Chris Brown was adorable, and so talented...now, I see a picture of him riding a wave runner and I think to myself that he is a disgusting, sorry excuse for a man M.F.

Rihanna has only further hurt herself by forgiving him. I am sure many mothers who filter their childrens entertainment will prohibit the purchasing of concert tickets or CD''s or downloaded Rihanna and Chris Brown music because of this. Rihanna has made an extremely public choice...and while it''s personal, it''s also very public and it sends the wrong message to teenage girls in dangerous relationships with bad boys.

 

[autumngems]

I myself have lost all respect for the woman. She, unlike many others is able to get away, yet she chose to go back to the bas!!!! She is in the public eye whether she wants it or not and now look at the message she sends to other women and young girls. My daughter likes her but I will not let her listen to her music or anything anymore as she is not a role model I want in my daughter''s life. What a shame.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Date: 3/2/2009 2:05:12 PM
Author: autumngems
I myself have lost all respect for the woman. She, unlike many others is able to get away, yet she chose to go back to the bas!!!! She is in the public eye whether she wants it or not and now look at the message she sends to other women and young girls. My daughter likes her but I will not let her listen to her music or anything anymore as she is not a role model I want in my daughter''s life. What a shame.

Good for you. If I had a daughter, I''d be doing the same thing. Rihanna has just sent a terrible message to her young, impressionable fans. I hope that your daughter understands that while Rihanna is a victim, God doesn''t help those who don''t help themselves.

 

[purrfectpear]

Date: 3/2/2009 1:01:31 AM
Author: HollyS

Date: 3/1/2009 6:39:23 PM
Author: mommy2iz
wow, hollys. i don''t have to ask anyone about it. i''ve lived it. your judgements and generalizations regarding what someone should or should not do are inappropriate IMO, and contribute to why more women don''t leave. these types of stereotypical attitudes prevail.
she is not crazy or whacked, though many victims feel as though they are. we doubt ourselves when we should not.
it''s doesn''t matter how much $$$ you have, where you live, how many people you have around you, which career you might be in, how many cars you drive,etc. domestic violence seeps through gender, socioeconomic, cultural, and age barriers. leaving is not as simple as walking out the door. if it were, we''d all do it and do it well.
for your clarification, i never said it''s a good thing that she went back. i just said i understood why she might. of course you should leave an abusive situation....i think others could benefit from understanding it''s much easier said than done.

Yes, for her, in her situation, it is as easy as walking out the door. She was already gone when she decided to rethink everything. She had no reason to stay in this relationship. She chose. She decided. No one, anywhere, is responsible for her decisions -- certainly not me with my ''stereotypical attitudes'' about domestic violence.

This kind of namby-pamby, wishy-washy view of right and wrong, good and bad, is WHY some women make lousy choices. She has tons of options, lots of people willing to help her, family around her, and she CHOSE to make the WRONG decision. Of course it''s easier said than done for the average woman. Rihanna is hardly the average domestic abuse victim. She could have, and should have, stood up for herself -- because she had every opportunity to do so. And you can''t compare that to the choices the average victim faces. You are arguing apples and oranges. And being judgmental about me for being judgmental about her; I''ll stand by my judgment -- harsh or not. She needs therapy, not sympathy.

Thank you.

Been there, done that. I had an ex hubby who slapped me hard enough to leave a bruise...and I left that night.

I had a live-in boyfriend who smacked me really hard (fists, etc.) and I left that night.

Any woman who stays and is not indigent and worried about supporting minor children is whack

 

[HollyS]

http://health.blogs.foxnews.com/2009/03/02/what-rhianna-doesnt-understand/

Dr. Keith Ablow certainly thinks like me on this issue.

 

[trillionaire]

young people reacting to Chris and Rihanna...

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/showbiz/2009/03/02/cho.rihanna.brown.teens.cnn

 

[mommy2iz]

ditto the need for individual therapy. there''s no way he did anything more than faith-based counseling at most. been there + done that....anecdotally, it''s nothing more than tell god you''re sorry, he''ll forgive you, go tell rhianna you''re sorry, + don''t do it again. it doesn''t begin to reach the basis for why either of them are acting they way they are. this is not the first time he''s hit her. and it won''t be the last. the whole thing makes me nauseous.
hollys, my issue is with you calling her whack. her choices are whack, her behavior is whack. she, is not whack, IMO. she needs help. she''s stuck in a cycle, or an active part of it, and doesn''t see it yet. for whatever reasons, those around her don''t seem to be telling her otherwise. or maybe she''s choosing to ignore them. who knows?
leaving is never as easy as "just walking out the door." rhianna, sadly, just illustrated this. she has all the resources in the world, minus a healthy support system, it seems. none of it kept her from the calls, texts, emails, whatever. she didn''t pursue a restraining order? why?!?!?!? at the very least, it''s legal groundwork and foundation for no future contact. granted, it''s only a piece of paper in a system that is far from perfect, but it''s a beginning.
welcome to the honeymoon phase of domestic violence. this is tragic.

 

[fieryred33143]

Here''s an updated article:

http://www.usmagazine.com/news/report-chris-brown-tried-to-push-rihanna-out-of-car-200953

 

[ladypirate]

That just makes me sick. What a tool.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

I am absolutely, positively disgusted.

What in the world is she thinking???? He tried to push her out of the car!!!

Oh my God...if this is in fact what happened, Chris Brown needs to be in jail for a good, long while....

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Isn''t he going to court today?