QUALITY OR CARATS? I need opinions!

[JLF2009]

I have been reading these posts for the longest time but this is the first time I have decided to add to the discussion. I have a few questions and I would love to get some opinions from the wonderful people here!

I just got engaged this past summer and I could not be happier. I have a ring that I love, but sometimes I have a feeling that other people think that it is too small. This tends not to bother me so much because I am engaged to the man I love and I am just glad to be getting married. He does well at his job and could have afforded a much bigger ring, but we are not materialistic people and I would not have felt comfortable spending so much on one item. I am also a small person who wears casual clothing most of the time, and the big rings we tried on looked stupid on me.

Since we opted for a smaller size (0.98 carats) we bought the best stone we could afford. It is a D/IF princess in a simple platinum solitaire band. It is set on an angle to give it some uniqueness. I would post pictures if I had a camera that knew how to cooperate!

I am sick of people looking down on me or assuming that we were somehow being cheap. Half of them are not even engaged. I wish I could just explain to the world that good rings are more expensive than ones that are just big. I guess what I want to know is whether most women would rather have a giant rock or a smaller stone that is as close to perfect as possible. Your thoughts on the issue?

 

[neatfreak]

It's all in personal preference. I think most of us here would be happy to maximize size by buying something eyeclean (usually VS2 or SI1) and in a lower color. Some people are happy to go down to J, some prefer colors like G and H. Especially with clarity no one can tell the difference between an IF and an eyeclean SI1 by looking at it, so many of us feel that it isn't worth the premium to pay for IF. But many people feel differently.

One thing is for sure, we are all ideal cut nuts around here. That isn't negotiable for PSers!

But it's what you love that matters and .98 is by no means a small ring. I think the US average is somewhere around a third of a carat.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I agree that cut is most important for a diamond''s beauty. Most people cannot tell a D from an F and most people really can''t see inclusions in a VS1 even with a loupe. So you won''t find many here who were looking for D IF. But size is highly personal and you have to choose the size that suits you best regardless of what others think. I also could have gone with a larger stone had I not wanted VS1 clarity (I was going from a 1 carat to 1.6 cts.). But I think the majority on this forum would go lower in color and clarity to get greater size.

 

[NeverEndingUpgrade]

First of all, please do not care what other people think. A .98 ct. diamond is not small. That is considered a 1 carat, which is pretty standard among Pricescopers, I think. I have never been able to afford high clarity and color diamonds. When I upgraded from a .36 ct. to a 1.05 ct., I bought an H/SI1. I have since purchased an I/SI1, and I have also owned an F/VS2.

For my purposes, I would never buy anything higher than a VS1 or 2 clarity because I don''t want to pay for something I can''t see. As far as color goes, I would definitely buy up to maybe an E or F, but I also like colors down to K if the diamond is an Ideal cut. As you can probably tell, I usually go for size over high clarity/color.

But that is just ME. What you and your fiance do is between you two. Your ring sounds beautiful. You mentioned that half of your friends are not even engaged. I''ll bet they have no idea how much diamonds cost these days, especially D/IF ones. They''ll change their tune once they start shopping for their own engagement rings! Congrats on your engagement!

 

[JLF2009]

Thanks for the responses! I guess I should have added that it is an ideal cut, which was the most important aspect of all. Even if others cannot tell the difference, I feel good knowing that I am wearing something that is almost perfect. I guess I wanted to know that I was getting a good diamond, even if some of those qualities cannot be seen without help from a trained professional.

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 10/12/2008 9:09:02 PM
Author: JLF2009
Thanks for the responses! I guess I should have added that it is an ideal cut, which was the most important aspect of all. Even if others cannot tell the difference, I feel good knowing that I am wearing something that is almost perfect. I guess I wanted to know that I was getting a good diamond, even if some of those qualities cannot be seen without help from a trained professional.

Don''t worry then. Most people would be crazy to scoff at a 1 ct. D/IF ideal cut!

 

[justjulia]

Something that I have done that added a bit of umph was another diamond band, to go on the other side of your ering than your wedding band. It allows the light to bounce back off of another source, adding to the razzle dazzle at a glance.

Your rock and setting sound lovely. Being at peace with what you have is an art. The bottom line is that it makes you happy.

 

[JLF2009]

Date: 10/12/2008 9:25:32 PM
Author: justjulia
Something that I have done that added a bit of umph was another diamond band, to go on the other side of your ering than your wedding band. It allows the light to bounce back off of another source, adding to the razzle dazzle at a glance.

Your rock and setting sound lovely. Being at peace with what you have is an art. The bottom line is that it makes you happy.

I was thinking of doing that. Since I am going to have to get the wedding band custom made (because of the odd shape of the ring) I was considering getting two of them and putting one on each side. I just want simple diamond bands. Those would look great around the actual ring. I am looking forward to them!

 

[Kelli]

Personally, I would never buy a D IF diamond, but that is because I am 5''9" with long-ish fingers and wanted something that looked substantial on me. Mine is a 1.35 H vs2, and although I don''t think it looks enormous, I''m not sure I''d ever want to go much bigger. For my life and the area I live in, it''s pretty much perfect for me, but bigger may be over-the-top. If I were a smaller girl, I may have preferred a smaller diamond, but by no means is a 1ct. small!

Also, the fact that I''d never pay for a D IF diamond doesn''t mean that I wouldn''t absolutely LOVE one if money wasn''t an issue. I''d never want some giant rock with visible inclusions in a crappy cut, but H/I looked white to me and VS2 was eye AND mind clean enough for me so that''s what I went with. Bottom line is though, no one should be making you feel bad about what you have. A D IF diamond in that size truly is something special, and if it was me, I''d be the first one to brag about how perfect it was if someone had something negative to say. Continue to enjoy your perfect diamond!

 

[Kelli]

Date: 10/12/2008 9:42:31 PM
Author: JLF2009

Date: 10/12/2008 9:25:32 PM
Author: justjulia
Something that I have done that added a bit of umph was another diamond band, to go on the other side of your ering than your wedding band. It allows the light to bounce back off of another source, adding to the razzle dazzle at a glance.

Your rock and setting sound lovely. Being at peace with what you have is an art. The bottom line is that it makes you happy.

I was thinking of doing that. Since I am going to have to get the wedding band custom made (because of the odd shape of the ring) I was considering getting two of them and putting one on each side. I just want simple diamond bands. Those would look great around the actual ring. I am looking forward to them!

And I LOVE this idea!

 

[AprilBaby]

Whats cheap about a D IF Ideal???? I think it sounds LOVELY! Would love to see pics. And I think the two bands will be beautiful and make it appear more blingy to the eye.

 

[justjulia]

Date: 10/12/2008 9:42:31 PM
Author: JLF2009

Date: 10/12/2008 9:25:32 PM
Author: justjulia
Something that I have done that added a bit of umph was another diamond band, to go on the other side of your ering than your wedding band. It allows the light to bounce back off of another source, adding to the razzle dazzle at a glance.

Your rock and setting sound lovely. Being at peace with what you have is an art. The bottom line is that it makes you happy.

I was thinking of doing that. Since I am going to have to get the wedding band custom made (because of the odd shape of the ring) I was considering getting two of them and putting one on each side. I just want simple diamond bands. Those would look great around the actual ring. I am looking forward to them!

Sounds like a plan to me.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Who is looking at your ring and making you think it is too small or cheap? If they are making direct comments then they are rude and not worth caring about. If you are inferring their opinions, then maybe it is in your head? Who cares what other people think! Wear it with pride and love it for what it is.

 

[amyjokerette]

0.98 is by no means small!

Wear it with pride, and if you ever feel like people think it is too small don''t be afraid to tell them that your fiance bought you a flawless ring because he wanted to get something perfect just for you!! When you put it that way who could judge!?

I think someone on this board has a quote that says "It is always easier to find a eye-clean stone than a mind-clean stone". You can go to sleep every night knowing that you have a gorgeous rare and special diamond!!!

 

[Venice]

A 1 ct. D IF Ideal cut diamond is something to be VERY, VERY proud of! I would go with a D IF Ideal cut stone in a heartbeat! You may need to find some new friends or at least educate them in the rarity of your diamond. 1 ct. is a very nice size for an engagement ring. Don''t worry about what your friends say or don''t say. I think you are very lucky to have the diamond you have, and I am very happy for you!!!

Now, go flaunt that baby!........

Best Wishes!

 

[marcy]

Date: 10/12/2008 9:09:02 PM
Author: JLF2009
Thanks for the responses! I guess I should have added that it is an ideal cut, which was the most important aspect of all. Even if others cannot tell the difference, I feel good knowing that I am wearing something that is almost perfect. I guess I wanted to know that I was getting a good diamond, even if some of those qualities cannot be seen without help from a trained professional.

I think they can tell the difference they just don''t know what it is - most of the time people think my diamond ir new or clean and that is why it looks so good.

Your diamond and ring sound lovely and I wouldn''t worry about what other people think. 1 ct is a very nice size and as long as you like it - that is what matters the most.

 

[jerichosmom]

You are nuts if you think an ideal, 1 ct D IF is insignificant! You''re wearing the needle in the haystack!

I think that your friends will have an attitude change when they finally get engaged. We didn''t have any money 4 years ago when we got engaged so I''m sporting my late father''s diamond which is an SI2 (it could even get lower if there is a lower level!) and an I colour. NO ONE has ever commented on the fact that it has a yellow tinge (okay, my MIL did but that''s another story) and NO ONE has ever noticed the many inclusions. When I tell them that it was the only luxury item my late father ever bought himself and that each sparkle represents him smiling at me, the "poor girl got a dud diamond" looks turn into "wow, what a tremendously precious ring you have".

If anyone does get snarky with you re: size, you can always tell them that your DH wanted to get only the most perfect diamond for you to represent the perfect love that you 2 have - absolutely flawless!

 

[Sharon101]

I think it sounds like you may be dissappointed in general with the `response` of others to your new diamond ring. Maybe you were expecting more fanfair especially since it is as absolutely perfect as possible D, IF, great cut etc. Maybe you are then reading into this that people `must` think its small or else they would be praising it more???? Maybe you are even upset that no one has picked up on its great credentials and made a lot of fuss over it.

Trust me, this is so normal for us gals !!! But, most people do not tell you all thats on their minds. Often they will be thinking something nice but just not say it.

I have no doubt that your ring is absolutely devine and after the wedding band, it will be even more outstanding with the extra support act.

At least you never have to wonder about your diamonds stats....a more perfect diamond doesnt exist. That makes your stone a pretty rare creature, and there is no doubt in my mind that it does stand out in the crowd.

 

[Lorelei]

You have a rare and precious gem which is not small! Wear it with pride and enjoy and don''t worry about what other people think! The important thing is that you and your fiance are pleased with it, not anyone else!

 

[somehowcollide]

I apologize if I am the voice of dissent here, but I will start off by saying that a D/IF .98ct stone is seen much less often than a 3ct SI H color. Any woman who were to have either of those stones would be very fortunate. You have something that is very special and very rare indeed.

But I don''t think the issue was ever whether or not you thought the stone was rare, valuable and of immense quality; it seemed like you were getting tired of people thinking that the size of the stone was a reflection of you and your fiance.

I am kind of in the same position. I have a VVS marquise that sparkles like its nobody''s business. FI was completely against the shape when I first brought it up, but after I tried it on it looked so flattering on my fingers that I made a converter out of my darling fiance. In real life, the feedback I get is very different. We have had people tell us that my fiance is "cheap" that my stone is "dated" and they "would never ever choose a Marquise." Honestly, had I known beforehand the general public''s negative perception of this "date" shape, I don''t think I would have been inclined to buy it. Am I a lesser woman because I let the opinions of others influence me? Perhaps. But I am also being truly honest, and I think that many others would feel the same way if they frequently received such criticism regarding their own ring.

Maybe our situations are vastly different (or maybe we just need better friends!) But whatever the case may be, I think I know what its like to be in your shoes. I love PS because the users here understand my affection towards my ring, and can appreciate its value. Unfortunately though, IRL I am surrounded by people who have a very different perception and these perceptions may always affect me.

If it is something you can get over, you should. You truly have a precious stone-it''s a PERFECT diamond! But if you think that the judgments you receive will always phase you, you may want to consider upgrading to something that would make you feel more comfortable. Do remember though, you can''t please everybody. The same people who have disregarded your stone now will probably think your upgrade is too big or gaudy and say, "why didn''t she just stick with her original stone? It was much more appropriate for her."

 

[Lorelei]

I am appalled at the comments some people make....

JFL and SHC I am truly sorry. SHC, your marquise is gorgeous - those naysayers are probably jealous!!!

 

[somehowcollide]

Date: 10/13/2008 10:08:27 AM
Author: Lorelei
I am appalled at the comments some people make....

JFL and SHC I am truly sorry. SHC, your marquise is gorgeous - those naysayers are probably jealous!!!

Awww, Lorelei http://www.pricescope.com/idealbb/files/bighug5.gif Thank you <3.

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 10/13/2008 10:08:27 AM
Author: Lorelei
I am appalled at the comments some people make....

JFL and SHC I am truly sorry. SHC, your marquise is gorgeous - those naysayers are probably jealous!!!

Seriously! There are some pretty rude and stupid people out there that is for sure.

 

[SandraPaneczko]

.98 D/IF is a very nice ring and is by no means small. It must have cost a lot of money. Maybe your mistaking the way people look. They could be reacting to its beauty and you see it as negative. I can''t speak for the cut of the stone but D is colorless, the best you can get and IF is just one grade down from the best you can get. Your diamond is in the top %2 of diamonds walking around on fingers. Color and clarity wise. If it makes you feel any better I have a .70 Leo diamond ring and a .79 Leo diamond enhancer. Both of mine together were less than yours I''m sure. You should feel blessed, most people can''t afford to spend thousands on a ring. You are going to find lots of posts here about diamonds all shapes and sizes but you are on a diamond website

 

[PinkSummer]

I have a 1.03 ct D, SI1, ideal cut marquise that I believe is beautiful. Most people love the diamond shape because it isn''t as common as a round. In my experience, a 1ct is a rare thing to have in an engagement ring and you should wear it with pride. Most people who talk nastily about someone else''s E-ring usually are just jealous or unhappy with their own situation. In all reality, it''s their issue not yours. So, flaunt your ring...that''s what you can do when you''re newly engaged!!

 

[JLF2009]

Date: 10/13/2008 9:44:28 AM
Author: somehowcollide
I apologize if I am the voice of dissent here, but I will start off by saying that a D/IF .98ct stone is seen much less often than a 3ct SI H color. Any woman who were to have either of those stones would be very fortunate. You have something that is very special and very rare indeed.

But I don''t think the issue was ever whether or not you thought the stone was rare, valuable and of immense quality; it seemed like you were getting tired of people thinking that the size of the stone was a reflection of you and your fiance.

I am kind of in the same position. I have a VVS marquise that sparkles like its nobody''s business. FI was completely against the shape when I first brought it up, but after I tried it on it looked so flattering on my fingers that I made a converter out of my darling fiance. In real life, the feedback I get is very different. We have had people tell us that my fiance is ''cheap'' that my stone is ''dated'' and they ''would never ever choose a Marquise.'' Honestly, had I known beforehand the general public''s negative perception of this ''date'' shape, I don''t think I would have been inclined to buy it. Am I a lesser woman because I let the opinions of others influence me? Perhaps. But I am also being truly honest, and I think that many others would feel the same way if they frequently received such criticism regarding their own ring.

Maybe our situations are vastly different (or maybe we just need better friends!) But whatever the case may be, I think I know what its like to be in your shoes. I love PS because the users here understand my affection towards my ring, and can appreciate its value. Unfortunately though, IRL I am surrounded by people who have a very different perception and these perceptions may always affect me.

If it is something you can get over, you should. You truly have a precious stone-it''s a PERFECT diamond! But if you think that the judgments you receive will always phase you, you may want to consider upgrading to something that would make you feel more comfortable. Do remember though, you can''t please everybody. The same people who have disregarded your stone now will probably think your upgrade is too big or gaudy and say, ''why didn''t she just stick with her original stone? It was much more appropriate for her.''

I would never trade it in for something else because I am so attached to it and what it means to me. I think I just must have wanted to get some reassurance from people who know diamonds! I am sick of making excuses for something that should speak for itself.

I think marquise rings are gorgeous! The cut is so flattering and unique. You must have nice, long fingers!

 

[JLF2009]

Date: 10/13/2008 10:08:27 AM
Author: Lorelei
I am appalled at the comments some people make....

JFL and SHC I am truly sorry. SHC, your marquise is gorgeous - those naysayers are probably jealous!!!

Or just uneducated about diamonds. People who have shopped for their own rings seem to have a better reaction to mine than those who have not. I sometimes wonder what kind of reaction I would get if I came to work wearing a huge CZ ring. Would the reaction change? I bet those people would not even know the difference.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

JLF, your diamond sounds amazing! I agree that a 1 carat D/IF is a rare find that should be appreciated! Truly a "perfect" diamond! And I love that it is .98 because to me that states the the cutter was creating this diamond for beauty and not for size--it would have been too easy to cross that 1.0 threshold if he was trying to do that latter. What a great find!

You mention that it is ideal cut--is it an AGS diamond? I only ask because only a handful of people have a true AGS000 and you''d be one of very few! I think that''s fantastic!

 

[lesco]

Congratulations on your engagement!. Diamonds are beautiful in any size. I drool over all of the diamonds and settings that get posted on this site, irrelevant of carat, color e.t.c. Why? because they are all special to those who took the time to post pictures and share their story with us. So yes, I am a diamond lover and a cut nut!

I understand how some people want to see a big honkin' diamond on your finger as you tell them you are engaged. Although your diamond is plenty big for me, I can understand how you feel. I've been there.

I think I am one of that would sacrifice size over color and clarity. Cut is a non negotiable. So yes, I would go smaller!

There are others that would rather pay for what they can see i.e size. As you can see, this is a very personal call.

Also, there is no unlimited supply of diamonds with all possible attribute combinations. You might be limited by the supply available at the time of purchase. Never mind those pesky budgets always getting in the way.

Don't get me wrong I would go for an D, IF , 2 carat beauty anyday, if I had the money!

I would say flaunt that beauty and enjoy your engagement ! Your diamond is plenty big.

 

[vespergirl]

Hi there! Welcome to PS! First of all, your ring sounds gorgeous - I have a G color stone, but would LOVE a D! 1 ct is also not a small stone.

However, it sounds like maybe we have the same group of friends, because I got quite a few negative comments when we got my ering as well. My original ering was a 1.64 ct asscher in a plat solitiare setting, but because of the square shape, it faced up about the size of a .8 ct round. I didn''t know that it would look so much smaller than an RB would, especially set, but we noticed it once it was on my hand. A lot of people made comments about they were surprised that we got such a "small" stone, because my friends know that I love jewelry, and my husband buys me a lot of jewelry. I do know what it''s like when you''re so excited to show people your ring, and they''re just like "meh." I ended up trading my center stone for a slightly larger RB, but it faces up WAY bigger than the asscher, so it''s more what I had in mind when we went shopping.

I will also say that with a solitaire, even with a larger stone, it doesn''t get the same attention as 3-stone rings or rings with sidestones. I have some friends with smaller (beautiful!) diamonds, but with very intricate and sparkly settings, and people go crazy over their rings, because they''re so unique. People see my ring, but it''s an RB solitaire, which is pretty common, so people tend not to gush over something as much that they''ve seen before, I think.

Anyway, I guess what my point is that a lot of people seem to have no tact and no problem criticizing erings - however, in retrospect, I think that some of my friends were jealous that I got engaged before they did, so they made mean little comments about my ring. Don''t feel bad for letting it affect you, though - I couldn''t help but start second guessing our choice after I got a couple of lukewarm comments. I think that''s just human nature ...