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broken engagment ring

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nina85

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Oct 19, 2007
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I have had my engagment ring for about 4 years. It is a three stone ring 2 diamonds on each side and a tanzanite in the middle. On monday I was at work when I noticed the Tanzanite had fell out, I telephoned the shop I bought it from straight away to be told by the horrible women in the shop that the ring was 4 years old and that if i took it in they would price a new stone for me and the cost to fit it. I was obviously very angrey at her response as i dont think that 4 years is a very long time. I am taking the ring back to the shop on saturday has anyone got any tips or advice for me when I go back. I want to make sure I get my point across without getting to angrey.

Thanks guys
 

Dogmom

Shiny_Rock
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Feb 6, 2007
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I''m sorry to hear about your ring. I will defer to more knowledgable posters, but it is my understanding that Tanzanite is too fragile for everyday wear. If there is no warrenty on the ring, I should think the store would certainly charge to replace a lost stone after four years.
 

february2003bride

Ideal_Rock
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Jan 18, 2005
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3,551
4 years is a lot of wear and tear on a ring. Do you bring your ring in to be serviced atleast twice a year? Getting the prongs checked, tightened, the ring cleaned and polished? I look at that as standard maintenence for an item I''ll be wearing every single day. There''s really no need to get angry at the store. Center stones do fall out, get dinged, etc., especially if the prongs are checked. Do you have insurance on the ring?
 

Maisie

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Date: 6/4/2008 4:10:32 PM
Author: Dogmom
I''m sorry to hear about your ring. I will defer to more knowledgable posters, but it is my understanding that Tanzanite is too fragile for everyday wear. If there is no warrenty on the ring, I should think the store would certainly charge to replace a lost stone after four years.
I thought this too.
 

Selkie

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 11, 2006
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2,876
I'm sorry about your ring. I've seen a lot of threads about damaged rings, and it can happen to rings of any age, without warning. Prongs can snag and get pulled back, gold can wear down. Many people get insurance for this very reason. Unfortunately, unless you have some kind of warranty from the store, and you've had the ring regularly inspected and the prongs checked, I don't think the store is obligated to do any more than they said they would, sorry. Also, I really don't think that getting angry at them is going to make them more inclined to help you out.
 

jewelerman

Ideal_Rock
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The sales person should have explained herself better so you would understand the store''s position on not replacing your stone.
Here are some questions that you may want to think about or discuss Calmly with your jeweler...

1-First of all... did the original sales person tell you that Tanzanite is a stone that chips and damages easily and advise you to find a harder gem for your e-ring?I cant think of a jeweler that will suggest/ replace tanzanite,emeralds,pearls in an e-ring because they are problematic in a ring.Is your ring under warrenty?A trained sales person would have discussed this with you before the purchase.
2-When was the last time you had the ring''s prongs checked?The store''s warrentys apply only if you have had your ring checked and cleaned within a six month period at many stores.If you chipped or broke your stone under a prong it wont stay in the setting...
3- Four years is a long time to go without checking the prongs or gem in your ring.Are the prongs bend away from the center of the ring?
4-It will be unusual for any store to replace your stone at no charge.
5-Instead of anger and yelling,It would be to your advantage to ask only to deal with the manager and use calmness and kindness to negotiate the stone closer to wholesale pricing rather then retail.Know that there will be a setting charge in addition to the stones price.
6-This is what jewelry insurance is for...call your insurance company at once and talk to them.
7-I strongly suggest a harder gem stone like diamond or sapphire(light blue is more affordable)
GOOD LUCK!
 

nina85

Rough_Rock
Joined
Oct 19, 2007
Messages
7
I do have my ring checked once a year. My issue is not replacing the stone but the fact I was dismissed bt the sales person she was very unhelpful and no one has ever explained to me about tanzanite being fragile. Thanks for all the tips they are really helpful.
 

arjunajane

Ideal_Rock
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Jan 18, 2008
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9,758
Hi Nina and welcome to PS
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I believe the sales persons'' explanation and offer for you to purchase a replacement are a fair assessment. However, if her tone toward you were rude duing the call, thats a separate matter.
I''m unclear of your relationship with this store (ie. is your ring under a warranty etc)..If no, you could always consider getting your replacement stone elsewhere if she/they continue to offend you.
As others have mentioned, it may be worth considering a harder stone for an ering.

Good luck, I''m sorry about your ring.
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Pandora II

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 3, 2006
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9,613
Date: 6/5/2008 3:22:43 AM
Author: nina85
I do have my ring checked once a year. My issue is not replacing the stone but the fact I was dismissed bt the sales person she was very unhelpful and no one has ever explained to me about tanzanite being fragile. Thanks for all the tips they are really helpful.
I really wouldn''t recommend tanzanite at all for a ring - it''s really only suitable for pendants and never for a ring you will wear every day.

If you are replacing with another tanzanite, be aware that a load have come on the market recently that have had a coloured coating applied. It is also almost impossible to get a non-treated stone anymore.

If you pop over to the coloured stone section, lots of people will be happy to help you find another stone. There are some gorgeous tanzanite-looking sapphires out there.
 

surfgirl

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 5, 2007
Messages
4,438
Nothing much to add to the already good and accurage advice here except that if you want to replace the Tanzanite, you might want to consider switching over to a sapphire with deep blue/violet undertones to get that purple look, but in a more durable stone.
 

MMMD

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Apr 28, 2008
Messages
379
So sorry for your loss.
 

jewelerman

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 30, 2007
Messages
3,107
Pandora,
GREAT INFORMATION !Any websites or articles that discuss Tanzanite and color coating...this is a problem in sure we will see much more of in the future.
I recall a time when in 1992 I was in Los Vegas at a buying show and i was offered deep colored tanzanite for $50-100/per carat!It was presented as a semi precious stone to sell in place of sapphire.I told them to show me only precious color and ignored the Tanzanite completely...stupid me!
 

vespergirl

Ideal_Rock
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Jan 29, 2007
Messages
5,497
Hello, I also had a tanzanite with side diamonds as my first engagement ring years ago, but I was warned repeatedly by the jeweler that tanzanites are too fragile for everyday wear, because they are softer stones that can break easily. We eventually just got another small diamond ring for me to wear everyday, and I only wore my tanzanite for special occasions.

I have to agree with your jeweler - a 4 year old item is not a new item. If it had broken within 30 days of purchase or something, maybe they should have to replace it, but after 4 years it should be your responsibility. Maybe you could go with a sturdier type stone this time around - a sapphire maybe? Good luck finding a replacement stone ...
 

decodelighted

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
11,534
This is what private individual jewelry insurance is for. I have no idea what you expected the saleswoman to tell you? What if you''d had a pair of shoes for four years and the heel broke off -- would expect a new pair? Or if your car broke down? You bought it, now it''s *yours*. Unless something comes with a warranty or replacement plan it seems futile to expect replacement or repair on an item after that length of time. The saleswoman was probably aghast that you expected otherwise - not that that would excuse any rudeness on her part (if there was any). Simply telling you the store policy though is not rude IMHO.

Maybe it''s time for an upgrade! And insurance on that upgrade! Are you two married yet?
 

Kayce

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jun 5, 2008
Messages
10
Hi
What a shame about your ring. Tanzinites are quite fragile for everyday use. Unfortunately most jewelry stores won''t cover this kind of loss especially after 4 years. Many stores claim to have "warrenties" and "guarrantees" but most are not worth the paper they are written on. Do you have paper work on the stone? Was the ring insured? If it was insured you should be able to replace the stone. I would suggest, however, that you have the center head of the mounting replaced. Obviously it was damaged in some way. Good luck.
 

nina85

Rough_Rock
Joined
Oct 19, 2007
Messages
7
Date: 6/5/2008 2:43:11 PM
Author: decodelighted
This is what private individual jewelry insurance is for. I have no idea what you expected the saleswoman to tell you? What if you''d had a pair of shoes for four years and the heel broke off -- would expect a new pair? Or if your car broke down? You bought it, now it''s *yours*. Unless something comes with a warranty or replacement plan it seems futile to expect replacement or repair on an item after that length of time. The saleswoman was probably aghast that you expected otherwise - not that that would excuse any rudeness on her part (if there was any). Simply telling you the store policy though is not rude IMHO.

Maybe it''s time for an upgrade! And insurance on that upgrade! Are you two married yet?
I quite agree with you and my partner and I have discussed an upgrade and think that is the way forward i understand that the stone needs to be replaced but what the sales lady basically said to me was what did I expect after four years, that was the part I was unhappy with. It was probably made worse by the fact we were celebrating being together for 7 years on the very day I lost it so it probably seemed worse than it was. Posting this has given me more info on tanzinate as I was never aware it was a fragile stone everyones comments have really helped.

As for the other question we are not married yet but I definetly thing its time we were thinking anout it but you know what men are like!
 

Pandora II

Ideal_Rock
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9,613
Date: 6/5/2008 2:08:51 PM
Author: jewelerman
Pandora,
GREAT INFORMATION !Any websites or articles that discuss Tanzanite and color coating...this is a problem in sure we will see much more of in the future.
I recall a time when in 1992 I was in Los Vegas at a buying show and i was offered deep colored tanzanite for $50-100/per carat!It was presented as a semi precious stone to sell in place of sapphire.I told them to show me only precious color and ignored the Tanzanite completely...stupid me!
I've seen it in a few places - IIRC there was an article in the latest edition of Coloured Stone.

Don't tell me about missing out on good tanzanite - I was offered it at $250ct at the Vicenza Gold Fair in the late 90's (not the really great deep colour - I'd have jumped at that, but still very nice) and thought I'd wait for it to drop...
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Ah well, it's always the things you don't buy that you regret. I'm still annoyed myself over the £25 signed Lalique ashtray that I walked away from when I was 14.
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GemView

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jul 25, 2005
Messages
207
Date: 6/5/2008 3:22:43 AM
Author: nina85
I do have my ring checked once a year. My issue is not replacing the stone but the fact I was dismissed bt the sales person she was very unhelpful and no one has ever explained to me about tanzanite being fragile. Thanks for all the tips they are really helpful.

Here's what JCRS has to say about the fragility of Tanzanite.

In my experience, however, the setting of the stone is more likely to be problematic than the gemstone itself. Here is an illustration of common mistakes setting round gems and the losses they can eventually cause. The illustration left off one problem -- a gap under the seat they cut in the prong to hug the stone's girdle. This is a problem I recently experienced with my brand new setting (a bypass style three-stone setting pictured in my avatar). But first a note about Tanzanite.

I own four Tanzanite rings of varying quality, one of which I wear often. I have owned them roughly 4-5 years. Not knowing any better, I've put them under hot running water and in ultrasonic cleaners with no problem. It is my guess that the stone shattering the JCRS article warned of says more about the individual characteristics of the Tanzanite, such as natural inclusions that weaken the stone, or overly thin girdles. Just the same, on the Moh's scale Tanzanite does, in fact, rank significantly lower than ruby, sapphire or diamond in terms of durability. Yet in my experience, Tanzanite is no worse than emerald and better than the exceedingly brittle natural Zircon. (Zircon was commonly used in jewelry as a diamond substitute prior to the invention of man made CZs. I have numerous natural zircon pieces and have yet to see anything break or even scratch badly, but they do tend to wear a lot more along the facet edges.)

Going back even further, I was given a four-prong sterling silver ring as a child with a 7x5mm Amethyst, which I wore constantly (playing tether ball at school and knocking my hands a good bit at age 10). I never even had the prongs checked until I was in my mid 20s. It was still secure, and this despite the fact that sterling silver is widely regarded as inadequate in this regard (and merely four prongs at that!). The worst that ever happened to that stone was a dulling of the surface polish. It looks a bit scuffed up under the loupe but from normal viewing distances merely duller and less shiny than a new stone. Not too shoddy for a "soft stone" nearly 30 years old!

Based on those experiences, my feeling about certain gemstones being unsuitable for rings -- or certain metals being inferior for prongs in rings -- are mixed. There IS truth to it, but I feel that truth is exploited as a sales pitch to get people to buy more costly semi mounts and gemstones. If you are in your early 20s and will wear only one ring until the day you die -- never taking it off at night, while playing sports or during housework -- yes, you will need platinum or at least a heavy, substantial setting that will stand the test of time. But for most jewelry lovers -- especially those who don't expect to be wearing the same jewelry nonstop for 50+ years -- these fears seem rather exaggerated to me.

Women who are doing a lot of manual labor -- restaurant business, cleaning, working in agriculture, the few who work in automotive and machine shops, etc. -- are the ones who take the most risks with their jewelry. Women who work in offices, who hire house cleaners or who take their rings off when sleeping, cleaning or working in the yard can enjoy a less durable stone for years -- even in sterling silver prongs, in my experience! So I wouldn't let any of this scare you off Tanzanite if that's what you want in your e-ring.

Rather, what I feel is "more suspect" is the quality of the gem setting. And here's why: I recently had my 1.04 carat RB diamond reset. Sadly, the gemstone setter did not seat the stone properly. I would have never realized that the stones were set poorly except that they filed down a prong too far when I went back complaining about a prong snagging fuzz. That is when I learned that collecting fuzz may be the only "early warning" one has that their stone has been poorly set.

To make a long story short, I had to have the prongs on my new ring re-tipped. The jeweler that sold it to me was closed the day I realized that the prong had been over-filed the prior week, so I went somewhere else just to see if I were being too paranoid or if it was, indeed, filed too thin. Instead of a single problem, the jeweler pointed out a whole slew of problems with the stone setting. He even told me that the heart side stones would pop out "maybe in a day, maybe in six months". The very next day, I took the ring back to the place where I purchased the setting and while they were re-tipping the prongs on the center stone, one of the heart side stones popped out just as the other shop owner warned. Now up to this point I had taken tons of photos of the ring for the Show Me The Ring thread, but none focusing on the prongs. When I got out my camera and shot pictures of how the stones were set, it became obvious when I zoomed in that my diamond was set poorly. There were small gaps below the prong/stone (pavilion/gallery area). There was a gap below the tip of the prong on the top of my diamond (hence the fuzz). And then, of course, there was the prong that was filed too thin.

Even with a 10x loupe these problems were not easy to see, but with my digital camera I was able to zoom in much like the microscope that was used by the jeweler who warned me that the stones were set poorly. To state it mildly, I was completely alarmed by what I saw.
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After researching on PS and reading a Professional Jeweler magazine article on the on the subject, I found out that a well set stone rarely loosens up (assuming normal wear). If it loosens frequently, it may be that it was never seated properly to begin with. All of which is to say, the only way the store may, indeed, be at least partially responsible for the loss of your Tanzanite if the stone was improperly set. Unfortunately, after four years, you'd have a tough time proving that. The best you can do is ask another jeweler to evaluate how the side diamonds are set. That will give you an idea as to the overall level of workmanship. If the side stones are in danger of being lost due to poor seating or gaps above or below the prongs, you may be able to make your case to the store manager. Even though there is no warranty four years after the sale, they may agree to reduce the cost of the repair/replacement.
 
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