Frustrated With Food

[ljmorgan]

I am dealing with something that has me totally confounded. First, a little background:

I have struggled with eating my entire life, always eating too much or too little. In high school I was overweight and got up to 160 pounds. In college I dropped weight, I wasn''t eating enough, but still dropped to a healthy 120 lbs (I''m 5''1.) Then I had surgery that left me on crutches for a year, and a few years later here I am at 170 pounds.

My issue is this: I have some strange fear of eating within a good calorie range. I consider myself pretty knowledgable about food and nutrition, I can rattle off calories for everything and I understand the necessary parts of good nutrition: protein, carbs, fat, fiber, etc. Logically, I know what constitutes a good, balanced diet. For the past few months I have been trying to get myseld back on the bandwagon, by joining weight watchers and now using sparkpeople to track my calories, in a suggested 1200-1600 range. On both programs, I do fine all day. And then at night, when I see that I''ve only eaten say 1300-1600 calories... I feel panicked. And I want to eat something else. And it''s not because I''m hungry! I can feel perfectly satisfied and still have this feeling. I have no idea what it is, because I know that calorie range is perfectly fine and I will not be starving. And honestly when I''ve lost weight before I was consuming far fewer calories. I honestly do not know what to do. I have been exercising well, but until I get my food under control I am not going to see a big difference.

Does anyone have any insight? I don''t feel this is one of those "I''m afraid to be thin and have men notice me" type of things, I have no childhood trauma, etc. I really have no clue what''s going on. I am just so tired of always thinking about food. What I can eat, what I can''t eat, how much I can eat, where I''m going to eat. How much I''ve gained, how much I''ve lost. I am sick of it! Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Also, I cannot believe I just shared all of that!

 

[Mara]

Lindsey...I too have the 'overinformation' problem about knowing about everything I eat. Almost everything I go to put into my mouth I could probably guesstimate quite closely what it's nutritional value is made up of. The side effect of too much research and calorie counting, learning about what is in our foods kind of scars you for life I think. It's almost like finding out about well cut stones, you never really want to go back to the way you were before, ignorance IS bliss in many cases.

My case is different, that I met my goal weight and then became a little too interested in staying there. The more knowledgeable you are about things, it seems the more your brain wants to mess with you and play games with you.

There's a book called Intuitive Eating. I started reading it when a coworker suggested it to me and said it had done her a world of good. The jist of it is that you eat what you want. Period. Sure maybe first you want donuts. All the time. Eat the donuts all the time. Yes you might gain weight. But over time the idea is that when you realize that you can have whatever you want, anytime you want, you won't want it anymore. That our bodies have a natural regulation system and can 'speak' to us but that over time....since birth, we end up drowning out our body's words with our own words. Your body might say 'I want some carbs because I need energy' and your mind thinks 'Those french fries look good. Oh no, can't have french fries, I'll have this cottage cheese instead'. So your body doesn't get what it needs, and the feeling doesn't go away. The book talks about getting back to being able to HEAR your body and what it needs rather than what your societal mind thinks it should be eating.

There are countless case studies in this book where people say it has worked for them, and my coworker also said it worked for her. She did gain weight at first, a few lbs, but then after she got over the whole thing and followed the principles in the book (listening to your body, doing what your body wants, what your mind wants, not depriving yourself)...she said she was at her smallest since high school and it was not through dieting or anything. Anyway it's interesting reading, I am halfway through and while I haven't adopted all the principles of it....I do acknowledge many things that it says that sound right.

I have started doing some of the things it suggests, but a lot of people's issues with eating has to do with 'control'. It's hard to feel like you are giving up control of what goes into your body....taking your mind out of the equation and letting your body speak and ask for things on it's own is daunting. Anyway, I have started to experiment more with eating things I want to, things that might have previously been off limits for me. I just don't eat all of it, I portion control it and still have the things I want. I also still splurge a fair amount...I eat desserts after meals on weekends etc. Overall, I have gained no weight since starting to try to listen more to what I feel like eating, what my body wants to eat, rather than what I feel like I *should* have. I am still working out religiously, have lost body fat, and when I don't feel like I want something special to eat, I eat all the right things for my body (fuel foods). I feel pretty good most of the time about doing this and trying to hear my body more, but I still backslide sometimes into 'oh no I should be eating better than this'. The book also talks about kind of sliding fwd then back and reminds us also that we have been kind of conditioned to what is 'right' and 'wrong' for foods for years, so don't expect perfection from yourself overnight.

Anyway I could ramble about this for days. I am a huge foodie, love food, love the idea of eating food almost more than eating itself. Sometimes just smelling a food for me is better than eating it. I have a huge sweet tooth, but I love savory tasty foods also. I love it all. So for me...it's about balancing what I love to eat with being healthy.

Not sure why your mind wants you to sabotage your progress with feeling like you have to have more cals. Those ranges are just a guide. Really you should be going off of what your body is telling you. If you are not hungry, just don't eat. It's a mind thing, not a body thing with what is happening to you. It sounds like you have self control, so that may not be the issue, it's that your mind is getting to you and making you think you need to eat more. Sometimes I would feel like that too, like I felt like I wasn't doing the right thing eating too little. But I wasn't hungry...but I'd still force myself to eat something. Well guess what. If I don't eat enough one day, the next day I am more hungry and end up making up for it. So one way or another your body WILL regulate itself. So don't feel like you are tied to a # on a screen. Try listening to your body more.

 

[Sabine]

I think the book Mara suggested sounds like it might really help. I''ve also struggled with overthinking. My mom has struggled with food and her weight her whole life, to the point where when I was in hs she wouldn''t allow any product with sugar in the house (and I later found out she was binging and eating an entire cake at a time when no one was home). She is still at the point where she won''t go visit her sister who is overweight and loves fat-filled southern cooking because finidng food to eat there is too stressful for her. Although I have struggled with my weigth as well, I saw the negative effect that obsessing about food had on my mom''s life, and I didn''t want that to happen to me.

I know from my experiences that when I try to tell myself not to have something, I am more conscious of how much I want it, and then I begin to obsess about it. I''ve found it to be much easier to just eat things when I want them and not beat myself up about it. I could probably lose more weight if I calorie-counted, but I would me much less happy. For me, the KEY has been listening to when my body says that I''ve had enough. So if I''m at a party and I want to eat some of the homemade goodies, I don''t worry about it, but I also don''t overload my plate and eat until I''m bursting, which is something I used to do when I was trying to deny myself certain things. As long as you are exercising and getting the right nutrients, I think taking a step back and not being so conscious of what you eat might help.

 

[ljmorgan]

Thank you so much for the advice ladies. This is a very frustrating topic, and I feel that it''s not fair that so many women probably struggle with eating in one way or another. I will definitely look into that book. Sometimes I just feel exhausted over food in general. I DO want to just be able to eat food, without worrying about everything that goes along with it. I think years of dieting off and on can really mess with your natural appetite and feelings about food.

 

[steph72276]

Hi there

. I have lost all my baby weight (and I put on a lot) plus 15 pounds over the last year and a half. I do work out, so that has a lot to do with it, but as far as eating goes, this is my strategy....I try never to let myself get really hungry. When I first started trying to lose weight, I would cut out way too many calories, then be starving and overeat. Now what I try to do is stock up on healthy snacks....fruit, hummus w/whole grain crackers, lf string cheese, luna bars, etc. and make sure I eat every few hours even if I''m not really hungry at the time. That way, at meals I can really practice portion control b/c I''m not really that hungry. Of course there are times that I splurge, but this has been quite effective for me. I have a last 10 pounds I would like to lose also, but I am very close to my goal and feel like I''m doing it in a healthy way. I also use sparkpeople to track my nutrition and fitness and find it pretty easy to fit into the right calorie range even eating every few hours. Hope this helps!

 

[SarFarSuperstar]

We are two peas in the food issues pod.

I, too, also am always thinking about when I am going to eat next, if I can have a snack, what I have eaten today, what I ate last week- it''s like I''m afraid I won''t be fed, like I was in the Depression or something. Definitely have never been even close to a starvation situation, but it''s a very weird thought process that i have. The women in my office have even commented on it- I bring a bunch of snacks to work and they all said "You eat all day!". Granted, I eat an apple, string cheese, raisins, and a lunch- so it''s all healthy, but I have to have food around.

When I went to college I was 190, dropped to 145-150 during my freshman year (no snacks available in the dorm room) and maintained that for almost three years. Now I''m up to probably 155-160, and I just can''t seem to gain control again.

I''m not sure that i have any answers- I will probably look into that Intuitive Eating book because I definitely think I drown out my own needs (had a bout with anoxeric/bulimic behaviors for a few years and have reverted to it under extreme stress).

I''ll be watching this thread and wishing you some peace of mind.

 

[ljmorgan]

steph, congrats on your weight loss!

SarFarSuperstar we are definitely food twins. I COMPLETELY have the same "depression" mentality as you. I can be eating a meal, realize that I'm full... and keep going. Why? Because I think to myself "ooh I don't want to get hungry, I may not be able to eat until later." I cannot remember a time in my life when I've been unable to eat. You'd think I'd been starved as a child! Really, I have that same fear of "what if I don't have anything to eat" too. It is nearly emotionally impossible for me to not eat a meal until I am uncomfortably full. If I limit what I put on my plate, I eat it, feel satisfied, and I'm fine. But if there's extra... I'll be eating that too!


Today I am tracking my food intake in SparkPeople and my goal is just to make it within my calorie range without sabotaging it all tonight. So I will check back in tonight and let you all know how I do.

 

[diamondsrock]

I can relate to the feeling like you are so tired of thinking about food, how much I ate today, how much I should eat, should I have that cookie, etc......
I do quite well with my food intake until the evening. Then, I"m not sure if it''s boredom or stress or what, I feel the need to eat even when I''m not hungry. It''s like I''ve got this mentality that I don''t want to go to bed hungry or something. This really sabotages my diet plans because this is the worst time to be loading up on calories since I won''t be burning them off, I''ll be sleeping. This is my biggest problem right now and I''m trying to overcome it. I really feel like if I could overcome the nighttime snacks I would be so much more successful at this weight loss goal.
I heard there was a book somewhere about how to avoid nighttime snacking and I think I may buy it!

 

[Mara]

actually Lindsey the fear of not having food for later and always having food around etc is totally addressed in this Intuitive Eating book. it says that basically your body is so confused from yo yo dieting or bouts of binging and then dieting that it IS kind of in a starvation mentality a lot of the time. it doesn't know when the next full meal is going to come so your mind wants you to keep eating just in case. it's really interesting when you read it all in black and white and go 'oh that makes sense'. it talks about people who binge then eat hardly anything to make up for it, that is totally just reinforcing your mind saying SEE look....you can't control yourself so now you can't eat anything and then your BODY is hungry and going 'where's the food' so it just keeps up the vicious cycle. your mind berates yourself and your body suffers.

i actually was doing the whole have snacks around at all times thing, i do need to eat fairly often as i work out a lot and my body does let me know when it's upset that i am neglecting it. but i find that i don't freak out as much about getting too hungry anymore. and i am trying to be better about not eating when i am full. like last nite we went out, i'd been eating lightly all day because i knew that i was going to be eating out last nite and eating junk most likely. we ended up at this place that i love and i have been wanting a burger for a few weeks. so i said lets split a burger and a wedge. so we did and we got a ceviche with crab and shrimp. before i would have been like 'oh i'm starving' and proceed to eat everything in sight. now i am trying to be like okay you can have what you want but you can't gorge on the whole thing. you will be fine later. and i always am. and i realize that when i do get really hungry, it's not a bad thing. my body is going to be fine. a lot of this is mental...i would def try to start listening more to what your body says vs your mind. it's tough but you can do it.

it is VERY sad to me that so many women struggle with body and weight and food issues. it seems like such a basic thing food...and yet we always torment and traumatize ourselves into this unhealthy mental state about it. bottom line for me is that i want to live a happy and healthy life. so i have really been focusing more on not being quite so controlling with my body. my husband loves me regardless of if i have an extra 5 lbs to gain or lose.

 

[ljmorgan]

I think that it is such a relief to talk about this topic, and know that other women struggle with it as well. I want to ENJOY my food. I love cooking, and I want to be able to cook and enjoy what I eat.

diamondsrock, I can totally related to the night time eating. That is when I do my damage too. I know your scenario all too well.. do "well" all day, come home and have dinner, and then continue eating the rest of the night, hungry or not!

Mara It is a relief to know that this topic of "omg I should eat, I could get hungry later" is a legitimate concern and is addressed in that book. I am glad to know that! Because it sounds so silly when I discuss it, because I logically know that I have no shortage of access to food! Like you, I''m also saddened that so many women struggle with this. I hate to generalize but it seems that most men do not have as unhealthy a relationship with food. It is a shame that we put so much pressure on ourselves about what we eat, and I will really look into the book you have mentioned.

 

[Maria D]

Lindsey, reading your words is kind of scary for me -- I feel like the subconscious of an ''old me'' got a p-scope account, signed on as Lindsey, and posted all my inner thoughts for the world to see!

What you are going through/feeling/thinking is *exactly* how I used to be for most of my adult life. Like you, I was always wondering about a psychological reason behind it as well. Am I afraid to be slim? Why? I didn''t have any trauma that would explain it either. I still don''t know why I was the way I was but I can tell you that there is hope!

A couple of years ago I finally decided I was going to do it and I lost 30 pounds -- and kept it off. I''m now 46 and I am at my ideal weight (5''4", 125 lbs) -- a place I had *never* been before, not even in high school. I had always exercised and eaten good healthy foods. I just ate too much of it and didn''t worry about treats because, hey, I worked out that day. I honestly believed I was meant to be 155 pounds and couldn''t lose weight. Like you, if I had a ''good eating'' day I''d get nervous (for lack of a better word) and end up sabotaging it. I now think it all came down to believing I couldn''t change anything anyway. I got to the point where I just decided I was going to really try once and for all. Something snapped with me and I decided that I *could* do it. It was against the laws of physics that I could burn more calories than I consumed and not lose weight. I knew how much I was burning because I had a heart rate monitor so I decided to give it a month and track how many calories I was eating.

I found some calculator online that told me how much a 125 pound woman at my age and with my exercise level would need to eat to maintain weight. It was about 1750 cals so I stayed at around 1500 - 1700. Well, it worked. I lost 30 pounds in 30 weeks. I still don''t know why I would always overeat before, but I can tell you that eating just to the point of satisfaction and not over-fullness becomes a *habit* just like any other habit. Turning down junk food becomes a habit -- just like eating it was to begin with. The beauty of how I lost weight was there was no diet to go off. I basically ate like a 125 pound person until I became one. What keeps me this way is not the fact that I can look in the mirror and be happy with what I see (although that''s great too!) but that I no longer feel that self-loathing that came from overeating. It''s so liberating!

You are already tracking your calories so that''s great. Studies have shown that the biggest predictor of successful weight loss is having a food log -- even if you don''t actually track the calories. I know with me at the beginning sometimes I wouldn''t eat something because I just didn''t want to write it down. It definitely makes you conscious of mindless eating and awareness is the first step to change. Now, in my opinion, you need to BELIEVE in yourself. You *can* do it. Even if for the last week you''ve gone over your calories at night you CAN change this habit. One night you won''t overeat and the next night it will be easier. Then you''ll be able to string days and weeks. Then you''ll blow it one day but have the confidence to know that you can go back to being your ''new'' self.

I wish I had known about sparkpeople a couple of years ago, it''s a great site. I use it now to maintain because it''s got so much great information and it keeps me from worrying about going off-track.

Good luck!

 

[phoenixgirl]

Maria, that was a great post!

Lindsey, I just wanted to add that your "What if I get hungry later??!!" question reminded me of something I saw on Oprah (a little cliche, I know, but it makes sense): a bunch of families in one SC town adopted some African orphans from a boys'' choir that performed at their church; I believe they were from the Sudan. They were mostly boys around ages 12 or 13. One women couldn''t find the ham she had bought for dinner, until she found it under her new son''s bed! He was so used to not knowing where his next meal would come from that he had this instinct to hoard food, and I would imagine to overeat when there is a surplus as well.

Surely one of the reasons we are becoming such an obese nation is how we have evolved to store up excess fat in case of famine. So now that we are required to do so much less physical activity and can eat as many calories as we want every day, we''re just in overload mode. I think the key is to use our knowledge to tip the scales back in the favor of being healthy.

It sounds to me like you are doing that -- you''re working out, and you''re eating the ideal number of calories. Maybe it''s the actual counting that wears on you? Maybe you could just guestimate for a week and see what happens? Or maybe you''ve just hit a rut, but from what you''ve shared with us, it sounds like you are doing everything right. You should be proud of yourself! Most people take the easy way out -- they overeat, eat the wrong foods, and are sedentary. You''re not doing any of those things, and that''s a good thing!

 

[SarFarSuperstar]

Mara- I never even thought about the fact that body, in addition to my psyche, is confused about food. I always thought it was a mental thing, but obviously it has some physiological factors, too. I am definitely getting that book.

I, too, love cooking and food and I think that part of my problem is that food = love for me. I am Southern (Texas born and bred) and when you feed people you are loving them. It''s totally a cultural thing, and logically I know that I love myself and my husband and show that love without food but it''s difficult. In fact, I''m pretty sure I loved an extra 15 pounds on my poor husband (although I know he is an adult and can make his own choices- how do you turn down fresh cho chip cookies??

). I used to have my guys friends over for dinner and send them home with tupperware filled with food- just so I would know they had something good to eat. I must sound completely neurotic.

But this is something I am really working on changing. Food = Love, reward, praise, solace, so many things to me.

It''s funny because we eat really healthfully- I am very aware of nutrition and how to create a balanced meal. Love veggies- we don''t eat a lot of meat. But in the back of my mind, it''s always- do I have enough food and are the people around me well fed?

Diamondsrock- I hear you on the going to bed hungry thing- I hate a growly stomach at bedtime even if I know I have eaten enough. Total self-sabotage- I''ve gotten better about this, but in high school I totally binged at night.

Maria- you are right on when you say it is a habit. I have found that when I give up sugar or eating tons of carbs, I gain some willpower and control over my need/desire for them. I just need to remind myself that it''s ok to have one cupcake- it''s not ok to have 5. I will get to have another cupcake in my lifetime- it is not a do or die situation.

 

[ljmorgan]

Again, I really want to thank everyone for their contributions to this thread. Thank you so much for your advice and kinds words, all of it is so appreciated.

Maria D thank you so much for your words, your post brought me to tears last night. You helped me realize something that is true about myself, that part of me believes that I CAN''T lose the weight. I''m afraid of trying and failing yet again. I get in that "here we go again" mentality, and feel like I''m about to embark on yet another futile attempt at dieting. I really want to commend your slow and steady weight loss. My husband is so supportive of me, and tells me "a pound a week is a great goal!" But with my previous weight losses done in an unhealthy manner, one pound a week sounds so dreadfully slow and almost like failing. Isn''t that crazy? I would lose 3-5 pounds a week eating far too little food, and it makes one pound a week feel like I''m "not doing it well enough" or not trying hard enough.

But to see you write that you lost 30 pounds in 30 weeks... that sounds so amazing and such a great pace! So isn''t that nuts? I think I get stressed eating in my recommended calorie range because I am ALREADY beating myself for not eating even less than that, even when I logically know that slow and steady is the way to go. Part of me thinks "can I really lose weight eating 1400-1600 calories a day?" Because I''ve never done it, I''ve always taken it to the extreme. The way you approached your own weight loss is so sound and sensible.

I need to tell myself that losing a pound a week is great progress, because logically I know that it is. It doesn''t make sense to sabotage myself with overeating because I feel like I''m not eating "little enough." It''s crazy. Maria, thank you so much for helping me realize this.

I wanted to share that yesterday I clocked in at... 1,470 calories.

I know for those of you on a diet that may not sound impressive, but if you read my first post you will know that I haven''t stayed in my range for a long, long time. I am determined to do the same thing tonight. I am so lucky to have found Pricescope! I am convinced that this is the most supportive community on the internet, full of the most compassionate, successful women!

 

[Mara]

Lindsey...yay for 1470. I do understand that may be a big accomplishment. It has taken me a really long time to back away from the whole super controlled eating thing and just let things go with the flow and doing more of what I want and what my body wants. Some days are easy and others are not. Like today...I had a sandwich at this local place with freshly made wheat, tomatoes, sprouts, and turkey, ate only 1/2 the cheese, it had avocado. A pickle. I know it was great nutrition for my body, but there's still that little voice sometimes that pops up and goes 'well did you really need to eat all the bread? or the avocado?'...even though I know I do need healthy fat. And we have a bunch of sweets around the office, so I had a homemade butter cookie and a homemade lemon poppyseed muffin. And I feel like I should go for an extra walk. Even though tonite I am going to a hour training session and then doing a 1 hour Zumba class (thurs are my more intense workout days).

So even though some days I do really well at not thinking too much about it...and some days I keep a mental tally no matter how hard I try to get away from that. I think it's slow going changing your thought process. In the book it talks about how it probably took years to get to where you are now with how your body and mind are totally confused, so why do people feel like they should SUDDENLY snap to it and never expect to fall down again??? The book stresses that it may take quite a long time to learn to regulate your eating, undo years of 'conditional' eating or under or over eating.

Last nite I ate about 1550 cals and I remember thinking, did I need that dark chocolate piece right before bed? But just reminded myself that I was still under cals for what I should be eating, probably about 300 under for the day, because I'm in maintenance. But wasn't hungry so figured didn't need to eat anything else. But yeah I still struggle with overthinking sometimes. I think I will for a while. So just be patient with yourself...because it won't suddenly fix itself just because your brain knows the logical part of it.

 

[rainbowtrout]

I do this a bit. Mostly its that if I don''t eat every 4 hours I have a much increased chance of getting hit with a migraine, so its somewhat Pavlovian for me I think. Its also tied up with money for me--if I get caught out without a snack, I will torment myself about spending the money on a piece of pizza until its too late and Im in pain and then I eat too much anyway. So lately I''ve been saying OK, look, you screwed up and forgot a snack, bite it and buy the 1.75 piece of pizza (which btw only has 300 cals, whoo hoo).

 

[ljmorgan]

Date: 12/13/2007 6:19:54 PM
Author: Mara


Last nite I ate about 1550 cals and I remember thinking, did I need that dark chocolate piece right before bed? But just reminded myself that I was still under cals for what I should be eating, probably about 300 under for the day, because I''m in maintenance. But wasn''t hungry so figured didn''t need to eat anything else. But yeah I still struggle with overthinking sometimes. I think I will for a while. So just be patient with yourself...because it won''t suddenly fix itself just because your brain knows the logical part of it.

Isn''t it crappy that we beat ourselves up over things like this? I can tell you one thing, my husband sure as heck does not do that! I really admire his ability to eat what he loves and truly enjoy it, without guilt. It sucks that you even have to question "did I need that piece of dark chocolate?" when you know that you''re making smart food choice and making an effort to control your calories.

You are definitely right in that it takes a long time to develop unhealthy food habits, and why wouldn''t it take as long to unlearn them? It is hard to deal with when the world is typically so instant-gratification. I just hate whatever it us that drives so many women to question their food choices and obsess about our bodies. I am done eating for the night and clocked in at 1580, I''m absolutely thrilled. I know that I won''t be perfect every day, but even if I can do well 90% of the time, that''s a great improvement.

 

[marcy]

Hi Lindsey. I’ve had a weight problem my entire life and definitely eat for stress and comfort. It sounds like you know what you need to do to improve your health. Some things I will so I won''t eat after I’ve eaten my calorie allotment for the day is floss and brush my teeth or paint my nails so I have to remain still for awhile. I also keep low cal snacks on hand for when I really want something to eat.

You have gotten a lot of good advice here already. I think it does boil down to what you make up your mind to do. It sounds like you are sabotaging yourself but only you can find out why. Like Maria says, you can do it.

Over a year ago I was very unhealthy weighing in at 320 pounds plus. My high blood pressure was dangerous, my heart rate was rapid and I couldn’t walk or stand much at all. I told myself, this is STUPID. I have to change. I have lost 137 pounds and want to loose about 35 more pounds. Now I feel great, don’t have the BP and heart problems and can walk for hours everyday.

When I got near big goals (like 100 pounds) I started overeating for no reason other than stress. Making major changes in your lifestyle is hard but it’s well worth the effort. I tell myself it is mind over fatter.

I eat everyday, normal food but just watch portions and count calories. If there is something I really want, I work it in to my calories for the day. I don’t feel deprived at all because even my sweet tooth gets satisfied. Every night I have some kind of treat (chocolate, slow churned ice cream).

Congratulations for staying in your calories yesterday and today. Good luck for much success on your journey.

 

[Mara]

yay marcy, you are amazing...i love your story. and you have seriously such willpower. hahaha. i am sooo not like that!!

lindsey...you are SO right about the 90/10 rule, many trainers will tell you that too. 90% doing the right thing is better than 50 or 40 or ZERO. no one is perfect...period. just do what you can and it''s better than nothing. you will get where you want to be, and eventually your mind will realize trying to sabotage you is futile. i also have read that ''retraining'' your body and mind away from old habits can take as long as 9 months when the old habits are so ingrained. i think for me it''s more like a year! but i definitely feel my thought process slowly shifting more and more. it''s a good thing!

 

[SarFarSuperstar]

Glad I checked in this morning- more inspiration and good advice, especially from Mara and Marcy- and yay for Lindsay for meeting your goals, even if they are only daily goals. Those are important, too.

We are going to a Christmas party and there will be tons of food and drinks, and it''s my goal just to realize that I don''t have to binge because I will be able to have this fun food again.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

 

[Maria D]

I had to go dig out this thread to see how you were doing Lindsey. Man, this place hums right along -- I can''t keep up. I wanted to respond to some things in your post. Even though I lost 30 pounds in 30 weeks, I did not lose a pound a week. Sometimes for weeks on end, no change on the scale. Sometimes 2 -3 pounds magically disappeared all at once. I learned to focus on the process -- meaning hte ''lifestyle change'', not the scale. This turned out to be very important -- because now that I''m maintaining it''s all about the new lifestyle. I know exactly what you mean about thinking you can''t lose weight unless you do something drastic. That was my old thinking too and I know it''s what most people (who are trying to lose weight which is pretty much everybody) think too. People I worked with were shocked that I lost weight eating 1600 calories a day. I guess I was kind of shocked at first -- like this is so easy, what the hell took me 46 years to figure it out? I could have been hot in my 30''s, LOL.

Well, it only looks easy in hindsight. At first it *was* hard to let go of certain habits -- like popping a dove dark chocolate into my mouth anytime I felt like it, or eating a bunch of comfort carbs at night when tired when what I really needed to do was go to bed. But after a while it got easier and easier and now I eat so ''clean'' I can''t even believe it.

If you are still tracking your food, whether or not you are always staying in range, you are on your way to forming new habits. And if you can do that now, during the feeding frenzy season, think of how much easier it''s going to get in the new year!