WorkingHardforSmallRewards
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Jun 5, 2007
- Messages
- 1,236
well I know this is beating a dead horse now, but a lot of people on here have gotten the wrong impression of me and my character so I wanted to at least give the conclusion what happened in this thread: . There were way too many things stated that didn't actually match up with the reality of my relationship, so I won't even try to address them all. I also decided to put the big finale in a new thread as I don't really want people to continue responding negatively to my initial post and missing this conclusion post, so I will send a message asking PS to close that one. At any rate, this is how it ended:
We broke up.
__________________
Just joking
alright well the conclusion was:
today on the bus I told her I wanted to bring it up with her one last time and then I will not mention it anymore. (and remember, there have been 125 post on it here already and I have only mentioned it a couple of times to her, so it wasn't beating a dead horse with her like it is now here)
I explained to her that when I was initially looking at Erings I didn't TRULY understand the whole ring/engagement idea. I even contemplated other engagement options that might be available, though not for long as I had talked with her and new her expectations, so I was just trying to understand why it made sense.
My first initial understanding was, of course, social requirements and expectations. Thus my first reaction was to head down to the mall or local jewelery store and pick something up and head home, and bear the burden of paying for it... I have never been much of a "decorating" or accessory kind of guy in my past.
But, I kept thinking about it, and I imagine for every person there are different meanings to the Ering. In my case, I spend most of the year away from her, I don't get to interact with her daily life and usually when she gets home she is exhausted, calls me to say goodnight and thats it. So when I thought about the Ering more it began to become several things for me. The first and second most obvious meaning is that it became a symbol of our bond, and so I began researching how to make sure that my diamond was beautiful.
Then, I began to appreciate that idea that it could become a reminder to her throughout the day. She works alot, and I am in no way afraid of losing her or that she will cheat on me. The ring is not a means of "marking my territory" as has been suggested in the other thread. It is instead just a simple way for me, while being far away from her, to have a place in her daily life. While she is working so hard, and has so many things to deal with it is very easy for her to not think about me, and we have had problems before where she admitted, after being mean for a while, that she had not been thinking about me for a while and it was causing tension between us. When I can't see her for months and months at a time, and she is not thinking about me...well, it was ok when she was my girlfriend and I worked hard to maintain that presence in her life, but I really want my fiance to think about me a bit more throughout the day you know? not in an oppressive way, but I simply want to have more of a presence in her daily life. So I began to feel that with the Ering, it is something that she can constantly wear on her person, and throughout the day she will glance down and see it, and suddenly no matter how busy she is or how tired she is she will remember me and remember our relationship. Not to mark her or keep away guys (except at a bar or somewhere similar of course) but to simply have a presence with her that I can not have while she is living so far away from me. However, I told her, if she can not wear it at work, then I understand.
Then I asked her if she thought that she might, eventually, begin to feel as her mom does, and alot of other people in her community feel, that the Ering is really meant to be worn on special occasions. She agreed that alot of people do feel that way, and that while she is at work she can't wear it. But, she said that she loves to show it off, and everybody has told her that they have never seen a diamond as beautiful as hers (Thanks PS, AGS, and everybody who helped, including James Allen!...and don't forget the small diamonds often found in Fukuoka!
) So, she said that she loves to wear it and will always wear it when she isn't working, and she really wants to show it off. Then she said that she always sees her customer's engagment rings now, when she is working, and she always thinks that hers is better than there's
(Thank god none of you live in Fukuoka, most of you would totally rip mine to pieces if she compared the two!
)
So I am ok with that, and I am glad that my fear that it might become a situation like her mother's and so many others, wearing it only 1 or 2 times a year, if that much, will not happen. After all, if she doesn't wear it for most of the day now, right after I gave it to her, what about 1 month from now? and 5 months from now when the newness of it all wears off? Anyway, it all worked out, thanks for your concern and I am terribly sorry for there being so many misconceptions of me and my character, hopefully that will pass with time, as I happen to love this diamond forum and won't be going anywhere, but will rather be learning more about diamonds.
(After all, once she moves to a new community she is going to find out her diamond isn't actually all that impressive
oh crap! here I come again James Allen!)
We broke up.
__________________
Just joking
alright well the conclusion was:
today on the bus I told her I wanted to bring it up with her one last time and then I will not mention it anymore. (and remember, there have been 125 post on it here already and I have only mentioned it a couple of times to her, so it wasn't beating a dead horse with her like it is now here)
I explained to her that when I was initially looking at Erings I didn't TRULY understand the whole ring/engagement idea. I even contemplated other engagement options that might be available, though not for long as I had talked with her and new her expectations, so I was just trying to understand why it made sense.
My first initial understanding was, of course, social requirements and expectations. Thus my first reaction was to head down to the mall or local jewelery store and pick something up and head home, and bear the burden of paying for it... I have never been much of a "decorating" or accessory kind of guy in my past.
But, I kept thinking about it, and I imagine for every person there are different meanings to the Ering. In my case, I spend most of the year away from her, I don't get to interact with her daily life and usually when she gets home she is exhausted, calls me to say goodnight and thats it. So when I thought about the Ering more it began to become several things for me. The first and second most obvious meaning is that it became a symbol of our bond, and so I began researching how to make sure that my diamond was beautiful.
Then, I began to appreciate that idea that it could become a reminder to her throughout the day. She works alot, and I am in no way afraid of losing her or that she will cheat on me. The ring is not a means of "marking my territory" as has been suggested in the other thread. It is instead just a simple way for me, while being far away from her, to have a place in her daily life. While she is working so hard, and has so many things to deal with it is very easy for her to not think about me, and we have had problems before where she admitted, after being mean for a while, that she had not been thinking about me for a while and it was causing tension between us. When I can't see her for months and months at a time, and she is not thinking about me...well, it was ok when she was my girlfriend and I worked hard to maintain that presence in her life, but I really want my fiance to think about me a bit more throughout the day you know? not in an oppressive way, but I simply want to have more of a presence in her daily life. So I began to feel that with the Ering, it is something that she can constantly wear on her person, and throughout the day she will glance down and see it, and suddenly no matter how busy she is or how tired she is she will remember me and remember our relationship. Not to mark her or keep away guys (except at a bar or somewhere similar of course) but to simply have a presence with her that I can not have while she is living so far away from me. However, I told her, if she can not wear it at work, then I understand.
Then I asked her if she thought that she might, eventually, begin to feel as her mom does, and alot of other people in her community feel, that the Ering is really meant to be worn on special occasions. She agreed that alot of people do feel that way, and that while she is at work she can't wear it. But, she said that she loves to show it off, and everybody has told her that they have never seen a diamond as beautiful as hers (Thanks PS, AGS, and everybody who helped, including James Allen!...and don't forget the small diamonds often found in Fukuoka!
(Thank god none of you live in Fukuoka, most of you would totally rip mine to pieces if she compared the two!
So I am ok with that, and I am glad that my fear that it might become a situation like her mother's and so many others, wearing it only 1 or 2 times a year, if that much, will not happen. After all, if she doesn't wear it for most of the day now, right after I gave it to her, what about 1 month from now? and 5 months from now when the newness of it all wears off? Anyway, it all worked out, thanks for your concern and I am terribly sorry for there being so many misconceptions of me and my character, hopefully that will pass with time, as I happen to love this diamond forum and won't be going anywhere, but will rather be learning more about diamonds.
(After all, once she moves to a new community she is going to find out her diamond isn't actually all that impressive
300x240.png)