Post by musey » December 24th, 2006, 6:18 am
...any less special?

I know that this has been touched on in the past, but I want to get the current PSers' opinions on this.

BF and I had "that talk" a couple of months ago. I had been very frustrated over no proposal when I felt that we had been ready for such a long time, and I had one of the famous LIW meltdowns--revealing my fears on the subject to him (I'm sure that was just what he needed! Image). Long story short, it turned out that the holdup was him knowing exactly what I wanted in a ring, and the finances just weren't there. He wanted to give me exactly what I wanted at the proposal (rather than a placeholder with a view to upgrading). Of course, that's when I start feeling guilty over being so high-maintenance both to want what I want and want a proposal ASAP... so I backed off (finally!!).

Anyway, our financial situation bettered itself and we also worked out some compromises on the ring, and ended up picking out a stone and setting together. As far as I know, it is at the jeweler's being set right now.

The thing is, at this point, we've already had the "yes, I want to marry you so let's start looking for a ring" discussion, so in a sense... are we already "engaged," just sans ring? I don't feel engaged! There has been no proposal moment, no "will you marry me?" question, but we've already come to that official understanding that we will be getting engaged/married.

So, basically at the end of all my paragraphs of rambling, what I'm wondering is this: does knowing all this ahead of time and going through an engagement "process" instead of an engagement "moment" make the proposal itself any less special or climactic? And when I tell the "how he proposed" story, do I tell the official proposal moment or the stuff leading up to it? (Reminded of "The Truth Behind the Rock" here)

I do know that in the grand scheme of things all this doesn't matter, but I've just been curious as so many of the LIWs seem to go through the same process.

Happy Hanukkah/Christmas/Kwanzaa, everyone!