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Why aren''t you married?

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Erin

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 24, 2004
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2,783
Anyone see this msn article? Made me laugh.

If you''re single, chances are you''ve been asked the following three questions:
Why aren''t you married?
Why aren''t you married?
and the very, very popular:
Why aren''t you married?
...give or take another 999,999,997 more such questions.
Unfortunately, I can’t fix you up with any cute guys or girls to help you avoid these questions in the future. However, I can fix you up with some good snappy comebacks to fling at anyone who dares to question your single status.

So, next time somebody dares to ask you that “Why aren''t you married?” question, pause, smile sagaciously (I love that word; it means “wisely”), and offer up one of the following. Or, just review them for your own personal satisfaction.


1. In the beginning, there were no elliptical trainers or low-fat/high-fiber muffins, and so people lived to only about 40-something. Maximum. Meaning, the pressure was on to get married before age 25. However, today, thanks to medical advances, we can all hope to live to 80. Easy. Meaning? Even if we marry at age 40, that''s still 35, 45, even 55 years to be with a mate. Plenty of time to be married. What''s the hurry?


2. Married people are not necessarily better catches simply because they were caught. I mean, have you taken a look at some of the married people out there? Seriously. Even Frankenstein got married. Obviously married people are not superior people.


3. Meanwhile, look at some of our cool single role models:
Catwoman: Single.
Buddha: Single.
The Lone Ranger: Single.
Actually, virtually all superhero types are single: Superman, Wonder Woman, Dudley Do-Right. And then there’s The Ultimate Superhero: God—also single.

4. Plus, when you think about it, there’s no such thing as a Stepford Single Woman.


5. Why limit myself to being dissatisfied by one relationship when I can be dissatisfied by an infinite variety?


6. It’s interesting how our culture has the expression “happily married,” but no expression “happily single.” And those words are 100% certified by the US Census Bureau. Statistics show that although married men are reported to be happier than single men (surprise, surprise!)—single women are reported to be happier than married women (also a big surprise, surprise!). Meaning? This only furthers the irony that single women are branded as "unhappy” and “lonely” and “loser-esque"—when single women are just boldly holding out for the right situation, rather than getting married just to get married.


7. It''s easy to become married. Millions of people do it every year. If you want to pressure me to become something, hey, why not pick something a little more challenging—like an astrophysicist.


8. True love is rare. That''s why it''s called "love" and not "really like" or "settling." And why we don''t say: "I’m settling for you, honey" over candlelit dinners. True love is worth waiting for…and that’s what I’m doing.


Karen Salmansohn is a life coach and the best-selling author of 27 books. Visit her at www.notsalmon.com. Adapted from Even God Is Single: So Stop Giving Me A Hard Time, copyright 2000 by Karen Salmansohn. Used by permission of Workman Publishing Co., Inc., New York. All rights reserved.

 

ammayernyc

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Dec 23, 2004
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These questions are beginning to be the bane of my existence! I was asked this question (with different wording) twice in three days.

The first my bf and I were out and we saw someone that we hadn''t seen since last summer. My bf knows him a lot better than I do, but I''m very friendly with him. He''s the father-in-law of someone my bf used to work with. While my bf and I were together, he looked at us and asked, ''so, when are you two getting married? My daughter and I were just discussing it and wondering why you weren''t married yet.'' I almost choked. I don''t even remember the response...

The second was even weirder. I was at my uncle''s funeral on Tuesday and consoling my aunt, his wife, and my cousin, his daughter. After hugging and crying, my cousin asked, under her breath, ''when are you getting a ring? It would be a nice thing if you got a ring.'' My bf didn''t hear, but I laughed. So, my aunt asked her what she said and my cousin said that I hear it so she didn''t need to repeat it. My aunt said, no, you should say it out loud in front of him. So, she repeated the question. We did nothing but laugh then...

Seriously, what is wrong with people!!! I doubt that I would be as anxious as I am to get a ring these days if I weren''t asked such questions so often!
 

Mara

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 30, 2002
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31,003
When I was dating Greg, I heard that Q all the time re: getting married. It used to give me a giggle because it puts the guy on the spot most of the time.

Now that we are married, I torment my friends who are in relationships asking them the same thing by asking them the same thing.

ESP since now that we are married, everyone (including these people!) have moved from asking us about marriage to BABIES! aka 'When are you having kids?'

There is no escaping it...it's a vicious cycle! Just grin and bear it.
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bar01

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jul 13, 2004
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Date: 6/9/2005 9:05:23 AM
Author:Erin


3. Meanwhile, look at some of our cool single role models:


And then there’s The Ultimate Superhero: God—also single.


Good point - and HIS book also has numerous statements (Okay, technically - it just advice - not The Word) that say it is best NOT to marry....


Then again I don't always listen to advice....
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(4 days left !)


 

Morticia

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 27, 2004
Messages
848
And when you're single, people will ask "Why don't you have a boyfriend?". I think that, the "Why aren't you married?". "When are you getting married (if you're not engaged)?". "When are you going to have kids?" are such ignorant questions. And I think it's really obnoxious of people to ask them....
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I used to get the "Why don't YOU have a boyfriend?" question - like there was something wrong with me.
 

NoonersMom

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Dec 14, 2004
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353
LOL Leonid. The fun never stops!

I like some of the responses that people have for "how much did that cost"......."So how much do you weigh these days". That one seems applicable to engagement, kids, etc.
 

Mara

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 30, 2002
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31,003
I never took offense when someone asked me when we were getting married or now when they ask when we are going to have kids. We always thought it was funny, it''s in people''s nature to be curious, esp when they are close people in your life and/or want to rib you on something.

When people ask us when we are having kids, we say ''we have one! she has four legs and fur''. It''s the truth!
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It usually gets a giggle.
 

ForteKitty

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 7, 2004
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I sometimes respond with, "We have an open relationship where we have other partners. Marriage is not for us" That usually shuts most people up.
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blueroses

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 15, 2004
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3,282
Thanks for that Erin.....I have stopped keeping track of the number of times we''ve been asked that. I don''t particularly mind when they ask us both, b/c I think he SHOULD be put on the spot after all this time, but when people ask ME it''s more than a little annoying.

My favorite response to the "kids" question is JCJD''s (not sure if she''s used it, but I believe she has it in reserve) which is something to the effect of "Wow, I''ve never had someone so interested in my sex life before." or something like that that she phrased much better.
 

Shay

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Dec 1, 2004
Messages
276
I get this a lot and it makes me MAD!
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I have answers depending on the person who asked.

# 1 for smug marrieds who are deliberatley trying to hurt = " when are you going to get divorced?"

# 2 for my bf''s friends = " how many times a week do you masturbate?" and when they look shocked you say "Oh I thought we were asking innapropriate personal questions"
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#3 For my bf''s distant relatives (and he wont let me use this one) = " Oh as soon as my first divorce comes through... we are just having problems getting my husband to sign because he''s in prison"
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This would be very effective because I know his close family would kill themselves laughing at that and embarrass the other random relatives.

And once when I really lost my temper at his sisters wedding being asked for the 50th time that day =

"No we are far to fond of sex to get married"

Honestly, it makes you feel like you are some sort of unwanted freak or something
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MissAva

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 6, 2005
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Oh I love it when I get asked this question. Oh wait no, no I don''t. I think the most obnoxious version of this that I have gotten recently was "Well Katherine perhaps if you lost a little, then he would ask?"
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asked in a sugery sweet tone. To which I replied lost what?.... I have no problem with being blunt, but you cannot be blunt and syrupy at the same time. Depending on who asks I say:
I am waiting until we live in the same state.
We are waiting until we finish up our degrees.
Oh no worries I am not really going to marry a Yankee I am just using him for sex. (This is used only for his buddies who are all from the North and tease me often about being a Redneck from the South.)
Oh, didnt anyone tell you we are. Sorry you just werent invited to the wedding.
9/10 I really dont mind that people are asking me that I mean I am 22 and have been dating the same guy since I was 17. It is a natural thought. But why do people assume that it is a question that needs to be asked each and every time you see them?
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Trust me once I am engaged everyone in the Northern Hemisphere will know beucase I will be so thrilled. I am glad to know that I am not the only one biting her tounge and smiling while wanting to say something else entirely...
 

Shay

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Dec 1, 2004
Messages
276
"Well Katherine perhaps if you lost a little, then he would ask?"

OH MY WORD! I just choked on a mouthful of muffin reading this!

That woman would have been bleeding at my feet!!!!!
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I am so sorry you have to put up with this person in your life!
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Morticia

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 27, 2004
Messages
848
Matatora, that is so rude.
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Pre-Ben (my FI), one of my older brother's said to me, "You know, maybe if you did more with your hair and makeup, guys might be more interested in you.....".
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Mind you, I wasn't complaining about being single or anything. He just came out with that.

AND there's nothing wrong with my hair and makeup. I just don't have high hair spray hair and tons of blue eye makeup on, like the women he dates. So for that, I don't do enough with myself.
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Some people say the stupidest things...
 

appletini

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 29, 2004
Messages
2,696
I sometimes tell people to ask him b/c he''s the one responsible for making it happen.

Although sometimes I get the opposite...he''s currently at a bachelor party in Vegas so I went out with my girls last night. And of course I see one guy I know who says "Do you still have that boyfriend? You don''t need that. You''re too young to get married." He''s a cutie, so its always nice to know that a girl has options. LOL!
 
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